The music from Hell
Posted by: graham55 on 01 February 2005
So, while you're all thinking about my previous post for your ONLY desert island disc, ponder this.
You've been sent to Hell and Old Nick is softening you up with repeat playings of your LEAST FAVOURITE music. What would he choose?
In my case, I'd crumble after hearing Tina Turner start her way shouting through her so-called "Greatest Hits".
G
You've been sent to Hell and Old Nick is softening you up with repeat playings of your LEAST FAVOURITE music. What would he choose?
In my case, I'd crumble after hearing Tina Turner start her way shouting through her so-called "Greatest Hits".
G
Posted on: 01 February 2005 by Kevin-W
So much dreck to choose from:
Astral Weeks by Van Morrison;
Too Ray Ay by Dexy's Midnight Runners
True by Spandau Ballet
1987 by Whitesnake
Anything by The Pogues, Sting, the Police, Paul Weller.
But I think it would have to be that apalling Bruce Springsteen live box set from 1986 - five or six hours of sheer sweaty hell. What a nightmare!
Kevin
Astral Weeks by Van Morrison;
Too Ray Ay by Dexy's Midnight Runners
True by Spandau Ballet
1987 by Whitesnake
Anything by The Pogues, Sting, the Police, Paul Weller.
But I think it would have to be that apalling Bruce Springsteen live box set from 1986 - five or six hours of sheer sweaty hell. What a nightmare!
Kevin
Posted on: 01 February 2005 by graham55
Kevin
I find that amusing. I absolutely love "Astral Weeks" and quite enjoy the Springsteen live set.
One man's meat is another's poison!
G
I find that amusing. I absolutely love "Astral Weeks" and quite enjoy the Springsteen live set.
One man's meat is another's poison!
G
Posted on: 01 February 2005 by AndyFelin
No surprises here:
Anything by Norah Jones aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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Anything by Norah Jones aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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Posted on: 01 February 2005 by Earwicker
Probably Kylie Minogue or that boy-band shit, or Gerry fucking Halliwell, or that puffy little runt that won the pop stars contest, or anything that's ever been played on Radio One!
Or that bloody night club jungle music...
Or anything by Queen - if any of that shit turned up on me desert island I'd start swimming and hope the sharks ate me!
EW
Or that bloody night club jungle music...
Or anything by Queen - if any of that shit turned up on me desert island I'd start swimming and hope the sharks ate me!
EW
Posted on: 01 February 2005 by Chunny Nochubb
"And its HI - HO - SILVER LINING,
no matter where you go now baby
I see your sun is shining
But I won't make a f - uss....."
I'll just leave as quickly as possible, usually before the chorus starts, through a window if necessary.
no matter where you go now baby
I see your sun is shining
But I won't make a f - uss....."
I'll just leave as quickly as possible, usually before the chorus starts, through a window if necessary.
Posted on: 01 February 2005 by seagull
A Country and Western cover of Mull of Kintyre...
Posted on: 01 February 2005 by J.N.
Me too for no Norah Moans, Katie Hell-Mua, or The Pogues.
Solo John Lennon stuff - can't see what the fuss is about. 'Imagine' is turgid tripe.
Oh; and any Opera whatsoever. It's a nice story buggered up by screeching banshees.
The definition of Opera by the way, is that in the end; someone gets stabbed - and instead of dying; they sing!
What a racket!
I'm currently enjoying some Tangerine Dream - takes all sorts. Vive le difference.
John.
Solo John Lennon stuff - can't see what the fuss is about. 'Imagine' is turgid tripe.
Oh; and any Opera whatsoever. It's a nice story buggered up by screeching banshees.
The definition of Opera by the way, is that in the end; someone gets stabbed - and instead of dying; they sing!
What a racket!
I'm currently enjoying some Tangerine Dream - takes all sorts. Vive le difference.
John.
Posted on: 01 February 2005 by Steve2701
Well done Andy for making the thread 40' wide! howd you do thaat??
JN.. we share tastes in music.. Opera would do it to me to.. as would the songs of Clive Dunn or Keith Harris & Orville.......
PS JN.. Listening to Ether by Redshift here.. you found them yet?.. rather tasty analogue synth n sequencers!
JN.. we share tastes in music.. Opera would do it to me to.. as would the songs of Clive Dunn or Keith Harris & Orville.......
PS JN.. Listening to Ether by Redshift here.. you found them yet?.. rather tasty analogue synth n sequencers!
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by Kevin-W
quote:
Originally posted by J.N.:
Oh; and any Opera whatsoever. It's a nice story buggered up by screeching banshees.
The definition of Opera by the way, is that in the end; someone gets stabbed - and instead of dying; they sing!
What a racket!
John.
John
Very true (apart from Carmen which has some great tunes.
It reminds me of what the great Mark Twain said of Wagner:
"Great moments, terrible half-hours"; and "Wagner is better than he sounds".
Kevin
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by Basil
Cuntry & Western (sic)
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by Basil
Country & Western YeeeeeHaw
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by AndyFelin
Put it back to normal size, even I was finding it difficult to read.
Good game
Andy
Good game
Andy
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by TomK
Anything by Whitney Houston, Maria Carey, Celine Dion, or any of the rest of the "why sing one note when you can scream ten" school of music.
And Elaine Paige. Perhaps bawling everything at the top of your voice might be appropriate at times on a stage but definitely not in a recording studio. Anybody else ever hear "Elaine Paige sings Queen"? One of the most laughable albums I ever heard. True rolling about on the floor stuff.
And Elaine Paige. Perhaps bawling everything at the top of your voice might be appropriate at times on a stage but definitely not in a recording studio. Anybody else ever hear "Elaine Paige sings Queen"? One of the most laughable albums I ever heard. True rolling about on the floor stuff.
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by AndyFelin
quote:
Oh; and any Opera whatsoever. It's a nice story buggered up by screeching banshees.
The definition of Opera by the way, is that in the end; someone gets stabbed - and instead of dying; they sing!
What a racket!
John.
I think you are being a bit hard on opera, John. I once went to Covent Garden to see a Mozart opera, I think it was The Magic Flute, and quite enjoyed it. I think Norah Jones had a minor role as a shepherdess.
Ok lads, tea break over, back on your heads.
Andy
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by Rasher
Kevin's complete list plus Queen.
But the worst nightmare monotonous repetitive annoying hell on tape is Womack & Womack's Teardrops. It makes me want to destroy something (where's the angry face gone?).
Don't forget (or please do) I Just Called To Say I Love You.
But the worst nightmare monotonous repetitive annoying hell on tape is Womack & Womack's Teardrops. It makes me want to destroy something (where's the angry face gone?).
Don't forget (or please do) I Just Called To Say I Love You.
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by Kevin-W
quote:
Originally posted by Rasher:
Kevin's complete list plus Queen.
I forgot Queen. They really are shit, aren't they? We Will Rock You is surely the most buttock-clenchingly piss-poor piece of "music" ever written.
Does anyone actually like them? I mean, somebody voted them "Act of the '70s" (ahead of the likes of Led Zep, Stevie Wonder, etc) in that recent UK Music Hall of Fame farce. But I've never met anyone who admits to liking them. Come on Queen fans, out of the closet!
BTW, I notice that Dobson-coiffeured, clog-wearing oaf Brian May, along with that public school twat of a drummer, has decided to reform the group - with that sweaty buffoon from Bad Company on vox! Haven't we suffered enough? What a bunch of wankers!
Kevin
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by Mike Hughes
Hmm,
Pogues, Van, Dexys and Springsteen. I think we're confusing subjective likes and dislikes with those things that are 'objectively' "from hell".
There is a double album celebrating, at the time, 40 years of Elektra Records - Rubaiyat was the title. A double CD of then current Elektra artistes covering their (allegedly) illustrious predecessors. Two CDs of unremitting tripe topped off by the most appallingly inintentionally funny cover of Hotel California by The Gypsy Kings.
Foolishly I bought it. It provides a periodic c onversation piece but is basically unlistenable.
Anyone taking Metal Machine Music?
Mike
Pogues, Van, Dexys and Springsteen. I think we're confusing subjective likes and dislikes with those things that are 'objectively' "from hell".
There is a double album celebrating, at the time, 40 years of Elektra Records - Rubaiyat was the title. A double CD of then current Elektra artistes covering their (allegedly) illustrious predecessors. Two CDs of unremitting tripe topped off by the most appallingly inintentionally funny cover of Hotel California by The Gypsy Kings.
Foolishly I bought it. It provides a periodic c onversation piece but is basically unlistenable.
Anyone taking Metal Machine Music?
Mike
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by Rasher
Ahh, yes, Mmmm, well Paul Rodgers is going to be in the reformed Queen then. He has always been a hero of mine and to see him do this is like witnessing Uma Thurman launching a Dale Winton fan club. I hope he sees sense before it's too late. Things can't be that bad for him at the moment can they?
Hey, maybe he's taking Bad Company too literally.
Hey, maybe he's taking Bad Company too literally.
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by BigH47
quote:
German opera is like war-too loud and too long
Not sure who said it though.
H
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by Kevin-W
quote:
Originally posted by Mike Hughes:
Hmm,
Pogues, Van, Dexys and Springsteen. I think we're confusing subjective likes and dislikes with those things that are 'objectively' "from hell".
Anyone taking Metal Machine Music?
Mike
Mike: are you telling me that:
1. The Pogues (a bunch cartoon drunks/public schoolboys/faux-Oirish gits, playing Irish folk, possibly the least appealing, most irritating music on the face of the planet);
2. Van Morrison (faux-Oirish mysticism, limp-wristed jazz stylings, horrible self-righteous, over-egged displays of "emotion");
3. Dexy's (bad-natured, self-righteous yuppies in donkey jackets pretending to be Oirish gypsy soul boys then finally reverting to yuppiedom);
4. Springsteen (sweaty faux-blue collar hollering and sax bleating stretched out hour after hellish hour);
are not pure hell?
Nothing to do with likes or dislikes as far as I can tell. No sensible, sentient being could possibly think otherwise.
As for Metal Machine Music - I quite like it. It's funny. Which is more than you can say for any of the above.
Kevin
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by --duncan--
quote:
Originally posted by J.N.:
The definition of Opera by the way, is that in the end; someone gets stabbed - and instead of dying; they sing!
I love it! I've now heard the Wagner quote "Great moments, terrible half-hours" attributed to Sarah Bernhard (seems unlikely), Rossini (from his grave, no?) and Puccini. I thought it was George Bernard Shaw but perhaps he just nicked it from someone else. Interesting to read a few people say they hate opera, except for... There is hope for you lot yet: trained singing takes a bit of getting used to but, like beer and sex, it's worth cultivating!
Soundtrack to my seventh circle would be Eric Clapton 'Wonderful Tonight'. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, it takes a heart of stone not to laugh.
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by kevj
djc,
Rossini and Wagner were contemporaries (Rossini 1792 - 1868, Wagner 1813 - 1883) and I think the "wonderful moments" quote is Rossini speaking about Wagner. Personally, I find this a bit rich coming from the composer of the longest and dullest opera ever - William Tell.
For those of you who nominated Queen, I believe that one of the big Welsh Male Voice Choirs (perhaps Morriston or Treorchy) recorded an album of "Queen's Greatest Hits". This has to be the worst record ever made.....
Kevin
Rossini and Wagner were contemporaries (Rossini 1792 - 1868, Wagner 1813 - 1883) and I think the "wonderful moments" quote is Rossini speaking about Wagner. Personally, I find this a bit rich coming from the composer of the longest and dullest opera ever - William Tell.
For those of you who nominated Queen, I believe that one of the big Welsh Male Voice Choirs (perhaps Morriston or Treorchy) recorded an album of "Queen's Greatest Hits". This has to be the worst record ever made.....
Kevin
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by Rasher
Imagine the outro to Layla played endlessly over and over again, with that out of tune screeching guitar just going on and on and on....
It's like having your toe nails pulled out with pliers.
It's like having your toe nails pulled out with pliers.
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by Earwicker
Wagner is great - those of you who don't get it just don't understand it! 
I am delighted, nonetheless, by the Queen-bashing; people who listen to such heinous, pain-level, kitsch bum-wipe ON PURPOSE can't easily be cured. The police should come round and confiscate their Naims...!
EW
I am delighted, nonetheless, by the Queen-bashing; people who listen to such heinous, pain-level, kitsch bum-wipe ON PURPOSE can't easily be cured. The police should come round and confiscate their Naims...!
EW
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by JeremyD
I'm tempted to say Wagner but I think any record containing most of the following would blow Wagner's doors off (so to speak) in the Music from Hell stakes:
1) repulsive sleaziness with no trace of irony, humour or theatricality
2) a percussion part performed entirely with 1980s Linn Drum sounds
3) EITHER a gutteral male singer who sounds like a character from East Enders shouting while drunk and disorderly OR a whiny-voiced female singer who thinks she's the next Madonna but isn't and who can't quite seem to exorcise the Bolton from her fake American accent
4) enough compression and distortion to qualify as a "Radio Edit".
1) repulsive sleaziness with no trace of irony, humour or theatricality
2) a percussion part performed entirely with 1980s Linn Drum sounds
3) EITHER a gutteral male singer who sounds like a character from East Enders shouting while drunk and disorderly OR a whiny-voiced female singer who thinks she's the next Madonna but isn't and who can't quite seem to exorcise the Bolton from her fake American accent
4) enough compression and distortion to qualify as a "Radio Edit".