The music from Hell

Posted by: graham55 on 01 February 2005

So, while you're all thinking about my previous post for your ONLY desert island disc, ponder this.

You've been sent to Hell and Old Nick is softening you up with repeat playings of your LEAST FAVOURITE music. What would he choose?

In my case, I'd crumble after hearing Tina Turner start her way shouting through her so-called "Greatest Hits".

G
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by Not For Me
Music from Hell?

Current 93 - Lucifer over London
DJ Hell - Totmacher
Coil - Unreleased themes for Hellraiser
Coil - How to Destroy Angels
Maschinezimmer 412 - Maschinezimmer 412
Einsturzen Neubaten - Thirsty Animal

DS

ITCC - Current 93 - Seahorse rears to Oblivion
Posted on: 02 February 2005 by blythe
Wagner was the best composer of classical music ever. If you don't like it, you simply are too immature.
No way is Wagner crap.

Queen are one of the best rock bands ever -
Forget "We Will Rock You" but think more along the lines of the diverse songs they did with wonderful vocal harmonies, tight playing, great tunes, catchy chorus', real musicianship and a real fun factor, all within a real band and at a time when there were so many really crap musicians getting air play on the radio. Freddie was a SUPER STAR performer - he could lift an audience and had a presence never seen since. Even my father, a hater of rock, could see that and said as much after seeing Queen on Live Aid.

"Zoom" by Fat Larry's band is a really true example of Music From Hell!

Plus any of those wailing girls who sing 500 notes instead of 1

.....why the hell don't they sing and hold one note????!!!!!????!!!?
Posted on: 03 February 2005 by AndyFelin
Boy Bands

Girl Bands

Boy-Girl Bands

Any Band with Norah Jones in

Anything by Sting post Police (they were OK)

Bon Jovi

Genesis (sorry guys)

Andy
Posted on: 03 February 2005 by AndyFelin
quote:
Originally posted by AndyFelin:

I once went to Covent Garden to see a Mozart opera, I think it was The Magic Flute, and quite enjoyed it. I think Norah Jones had a minor role as a shepherdess.



Just remembered it wasn't The Magic Flute but Cosi Fan Tuti which I'm told translates to something like Women are like that. Umm

Andy Mozarticus
Posted on: 03 February 2005 by pe-zulu
Old Nick would surely let me hear his pianist in residence, Glenn Gould, play Bach Gouldberg-variations (In this case Silver is to be preferred to Gould) or perhaps Beethoven-sonatas. Goulds Appassionata can drive anyone crazy in a couple of seconds.
Posted on: 03 February 2005 by Nime
If the Flower Duet from Lakme doesn't move you then you are already in Hell. Big Grin

Nime
Posted on: 03 February 2005 by bhazen
If Jimmy Buffet gets airplay in Hell, I'm on the blower to God right away.
Posted on: 04 February 2005 by Guy D
Hey this is fabulous, some real passion has returned to the music room. Such vitriol. MMMmmm

For me:

Some of the solo stuff by that nice George Michael may send me into an perpetual coma.

Now a bit of rap (or was that crap) music would really make my eternity seems like - well eternity!

Sadly the list is endless, I'd better be good!

Guy
Posted on: 04 February 2005 by Colin Lorenson
too easy, anything, anything at all by Helen Reddy.

I really dislike gangster rap, R&B as presently constituted, boy and girl band stuff, and any metal, but hearing her can render me senseless within seconds.
Posted on: 05 February 2005 by Nime
Tania Shwayne may be drop-dead-gorgeous and have a smile in her voice but I find her performances so shallow it makes me cringe. I have no idea why we don't get on. Her material isn't really that bad. Roll Eyes

I detest serious classical performers doing modern covers of popular music. Tiri Kakanawa singing popular stuff is swill!

MY favorite Amsterdam Loeki Stardust Quartet (recorders) sound foul out of genre. Though the New Music recorder stuff is fascinating.

Stevie Wonder is so numbingly awful I'd dig the grave myself and push him in. All in the service of art. Big Grin

Boys who sing so high they would have no interest whatsoever in girls! And no, I'm not being homophobic. Winker

Led Zeppelin = Lead balloon. Roll Eyes

That's enough for one sitting! Razz
Posted on: 05 February 2005 by manicatel
So pretty much a concensus of opinion then.
rap (with a silent c),vanilla ice pretty much tops it, plus whitney, mariah, celine,michael bolton.Boy bands, girl bands, etc. But being in mind that I would guess that mostof us are of a certain age,maybe over 17,are we supposed to like it? This stuff is not aimed at the over 16's,& however much I would like to deny it, I am no longer part of the "yoof kulture".Does it qualify being called "music" at all? is another question,& "am I turning into my father" is another that I fear I know the answer to.
cheers, matt.
Posted on: 05 February 2005 by bazz
Mariah Carey's screeching, Phil Collins' self indulgent pap, bouffant boofhead Rod Stewart and
most of Art Garfunkels solo output are a few that spring to mind.

And I totally agree re Helen Reddy, that nasal whining is unbearable.
Posted on: 05 February 2005 by Kevin-W
quote:
Originally posted by bazz:
And I totally agree re Helen Reddy, that nasal whining is unbearable.


Trouble is, Helen is strong, she is invincible, she is woman. So we're stuck with her, I'm afraid.

Kevin
Posted on: 05 February 2005 by Kevin-W
I'm actually surprised that no-one has mentioned Dido's incessant whingeing. That really is hellish.

Kevin
Posted on: 06 February 2005 by marvin the paranoid android
The latest sound from satans backside comes from the beddingfield drones, also on the *hit list is any high brow chamber music (so called as it used to be hidden under the bed), anything that would be listened to by the likes of Frasier (yes I know it is fictional)and other fatuous, pompous fools.

The very thing that gives me nightmares is rap, hip hop whatever. How anyone could tolerate that is well beyond me.

However, I fail to see what is wrong with the likes of Dido, at least she pens her own material, or Katie Melula, perhaps the next target should be Hayley Westenra for murdering Kate Bush and wuthering heights?

One man's meat and all that.

Marvin.

Oh almost forgot; Chris Rea, whats all that about?
Posted on: 06 February 2005 by Rasher
Kevin - This is a good thread & we have a way to go yet. Don't rush to the finish just yet. Winker
Bjork anyone?
Posted on: 06 February 2005 by long-time-dead
Any of the shit that I hear coming through the wall from my daughter's bedroom.........
Posted on: 06 February 2005 by graham55
And that's presumably when she's just by herself, and doesn't have a group of friends partying! Although maybe as one ages one simply becomes a sad old git?

G
Posted on: 06 February 2005 by long-time-dead
Smile

When her friends are over, I get the wonderful pleasure of hearing her "music" playing in glorious style on my system.

Still, must admit - sounds MUCH better, still sh*t but better sounding sh*t.
Posted on: 11 February 2005 by Mike Hughes
quote:
mber

Posted Wed 02 February 2005 13:57

quote:Originally posted by Mike Hughes:
Hmm,

Pogues, Van, Dexys and Springsteen. I think we're confusing subjective likes and dislikes with those things that are 'objectively' "from hell".

Anyone taking Metal Machine Music?

Mike



Mike: are you telling me that:

1. The Pogues (a bunch cartoon drunks/public schoolboys/faux-Oirish gits, playing Irish folk, possibly the least appealing, most irritating music on the face of the planet);

2. Van Morrison (faux-Oirish mysticism, limp-wristed jazz stylings, horrible self-righteous, over-egged displays of "emotion");

3. Dexy's (bad-natured, self-righteous yuppies in donkey jackets pretending to be Oirish gypsy soul boys then finally reverting to yuppiedom);

4. Springsteen (sweaty faux-blue collar hollering and sax bleating stretched out hour after hellish hour);

are not pure hell?

Nothing to do with likes or dislikes as far as I can tell. No sensible, sentient being could possibly think otherwise.

As for Metal Machine Music - I quite like it. It's funny. Which is more than you can say for any of the above.

Kevin


Dearie me Kevin,

1) Would you like to name the "faux-oIrish" members of the Pogues? I'll grant you that their last three albums are poor but the first four are uniformly excellent and worthy of far more than your dismissive contempt of the entire genre. Incidentally, why rail against alcohol on stage. It's what they like. So what. Let's take every drug taking artist out of the equation and see what we have left!

2) I tend to agree but again that doesn't mean there haven't been some truly great moments. Some really dull music for many years now but not really from hell in the sense clearly intended in this thread.

3) Dexys - Yuppies??? I think we're confusing image with fact here. Working class Midlands lads with soul. As for the lacking in humour. Well frankly someone needs to pin you down and force you to

a) attend their live shows, which remain a revelation.
b) make you listen to 'This Is What She's Like' et al on the third album.

Feel free to criticse any artist but at least let's have a solid basis for it and a balanced response (such as my number 2 above).

4) Springsteen - well, you've fallen for all the cliches there haven't you! Since when is it a crime for a musician to sweat or want to give value for money? Springsteen himself puts no great merit on the former and nowadays barely does longer shows than many other artists.

As reasons for describing these as music from hell they seem to be more about you describing traits of an artists image that you don't lke and, if you're not prepared to go beneath an image in pursuit of musical excellence, then you probably wouldn't end up with much music in your collection!!!

Mike
Posted on: 11 February 2005 by Kevin-W
quote:
Originally posted by Mike Hughes:
[QUOTE]

Dearie me Kevin,

1) Would you like to name the "faux-oIrish" members of the Pogues? I'll grant you that their last three albums are poor but the first four are uniformly excellent and worthy of far more than your dismissive contempt of the entire genre. Incidentally, why rail against alcohol on stage. It's what they like. So what. Let's take every drug taking artist out of the equation and see what we have left!

2) I tend to agree but again that doesn't mean there haven't been some truly great moments. Some really dull music for many years now but not really from hell in the sense clearly intended in this thread.

3) Dexys - Yuppies??? I think we're confusing image with fact here. Working class Midlands lads with soul. As for the lacking in humour. Well frankly someone needs to pin you down and force you to

a) attend their live shows, which remain a revelation.
b) make you listen to 'This Is What She's Like' et al on the third album.

Feel free to criticse any artist but at least let's have a solid basis for it and a balanced response (such as my number 2 above).

4) Springsteen - well, you've fallen for all the cliches there haven't you! Since when is it a crime for a musician to sweat or want to give value for money? Springsteen himself puts no great merit on the former and nowadays barely does longer shows than many other artists.

As reasons for describing these as music from hell they seem to be more about you describing traits of an artists image that you don't lke and, if you're not prepared to go beneath an image in pursuit of musical excellence, then you probably wouldn't end up with much music in your collection!!!

Mike


Mike, you seem to have misunderstood or misread what I wrote.

It is precisely because I go beyond the surface image of the artists above that I feel justified in talking about them as I do and despise them as I do. You are perfectly entitled to view Dexys as "working class Midlands lads with soul"; I am perfectly entitled to regard them as a bunch of ill-natured poseurs peddling a bombastic misreading of soul classics. Ditto Pogues, Brooce and Morrison. They all represent depressing strands in popular music which I find close to hell.

I was dragged along to see a Dexys show sometime in the early 1980s and I found it one of the most depressing spectacles it has even been my misfortune to witness.

I agree with you, there's nothing wrong with drunkenness in pop - it's cartoon drunks like MacGowan I object to.

Kevin

To paraphrase Satre, "Hell is other people... especially if they're Shane MacGowan, Van Morrison, Bruce Springsteen and Kevin Rowland making 'music'"
Posted on: 11 February 2005 by TimCarter50
OK, here we go....

Yes
Maria Carey
Cleo Lane
Jazz in general
Michael Jackson
Sting
Yes - again
Frank Sinatra

Can I add people who don't like Opera? You really are missing the point, not just of music but also life.
Posted on: 11 February 2005 by graham55
I only started the thread, so can't moderate your reply. But I have always thought that, for a lovely five year period, Yes were wonderful.

That must be part of the joy of music. What you find intolerable, I find magnificent.

G
Posted on: 12 February 2005 by BigH47
quote:
Can I add people who don't like Opera? You really are missing the point, not just of music but also life.


Nothing wrong with my life, missing points or sreaming woman noises. A lot of the music I like and then they go spoilt it by (singing) something stupid etc...."

Howard

Howard
Posted on: 12 February 2005 by pe-zulu
That´s it.
Even matters of quality is in essence
a matter of taste, or.....