5 worst songs ever - (Now!! That's what I call ****)

1) A C&W cover version of Mull of Kintyre - artiste(?) unknown
2) Mull of Kintyre - Paul McCartney
3) The Frog Song - Paul McCartney
4) Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
5) The Lords Prayer (I think) - SirCliff

1) Mickey - Toni Basil
2) We Built This City - Starship
3) Conquistador - Procol Harum
4) Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison
5) Alone Again, Naturally - Gilbert O'Sullivan

Ugh, I feel ill...

1) Queen , Bohemian Rhapsody - with you there, Seagull, simply awful
2) Jeff Beck, Hi Ho Silver Lining
3) Elton John, Candle in the Wind ( Diana Version)
4) Simon & Garfunkle - ??Bridge Song ( Feelin' Groovy)
5) The Beatles, Yellow Submarine

In the bin with the lot of them.

Kevin

The other day I was listening to the wonderful soundtrack from 'Brassed Off' after seeing this equally wonderful sleeper movie on cable. One of the tracks seemed to have a vaguely familiar melody, and one I could not place. Looking it up on the cover revealed it to be 'Floral Dance' and suddenly a floodgate opened and with it the memories of Terry Wogans droning narrative. Is this my mind playing tricks on me or did this dreadful version actually exist?

Back in the Uni days we referred to 'Hi ho silver lining' as 'Hi ho stomach lining' as it always seemed to be playing at parties where we were pissed and nauseated.

Ron
Dum spiro audio
Dum audio vivo

1. Candle In The Wind 97
2. Come on Eileen - Dexy's Midnight Runners
3. True – Spandau Ballet
4. Russians – Sting
5. Start! – The Jam

Kevin

1. DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince "Parents Just Don't Understand"- Girly bubblegum hip-hop at its absolute worst.
2. Spin Doctors "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong"- I defined those who liked it and wore "CoEd Naked Lacross" baseball caps as enemies. I had to kill them all.
3. Aerosmith "Dude Looks Like a Lady"- For starters it's an Aerosmith song so it must be bottom of the barrel.
4. Michael Bolton "How Am I Supposed To Live Without You"- Awww, how lovely. Tipper Gore and "concerned moms" probably loved it.
5. Tie between Van Halen "Jump" and Kris Kross "Jump"- Ummmmm... WHAT??? Shut up and sit down.

theres only one....
shut up ya face.....by some italian twit
which kept vienna by ultravox off no1 spot many moons ago now.
but still bloody annoys me!!

Joe Dolci ?

Obvious really, anything sung, mumbled or spoken by comedians, actors, cartoon characters or schoolkids. Covers all the worst songs I can recall for over 40 years.

Yours in Music

Syd

Tie a yellow ribbon - Dawn
Rasputin - Boney M
Now you come to mention it - Elton John's Diana thing must be the most awful ever committed to tape, and it was probably the biggest ever selling single of all time
I just called to say I love you - Stevie Wonder
Bohemian Rhapsody
Anything by Billy Joel

I wrestled with this one but Rolf came through

Tie a yellow ribbon – Dawn


Stuart

quote:

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Originally posted by Kevin-W:
3. True – Spandau Ballet
Kevin

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Steady on, Kev. Many's the blouse my hand has slid under to this one. A great tune, although I'll admit the lyrics are spectacularly bad. What the hell are "seaside arms" anyway?

Dirty Davie

quote:

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Originally posted by Bhoyo:

quote:

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Originally posted by Kevin-W:
3. True – Spandau Ballet
Kevin

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Steady on, Kev. Many's the blouse my hand has slid under to this one. A great tune, although I'll admit the lyrics are spectacularly bad. What the hell are "seaside arms" anyway?

Dirty Davie

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Seaside arms are those burnt blotchy appendages fair skinned fat people get after too long under the Sun.

Yours in Music

Syd

quote:

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Originally posted by Bhoyo:
Steady on, Kev. Many's the blouse my hand has slid under to this one.

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It was a difficult time for men's fashions, eh Davie?

Lady In Red - Chris De Splurge (or anything else by him)
Up Town Girl - Billy Joel (or anything else by him)
Superman - Black Lace (or anything else by them)
Save Your Kisses For Me - Brotherhood Of Man (or anything else by them)
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cindy Lauper (sooooo irritating!)

Computers are supposed to work on 1's and 0's - in other words "Yes" or "No" - why does mine frequently say "Maybe"?......

Everything I Do - Bryan Adams
I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston
Lady In Red - Chris de Burgh
D.I.S.C.O. - Ottowan
High Tension - High Tension

I exclude all novelty, Christmas and comedy records from my list because they are supposed to be awful.

5 crap songs I'll admit to liking only on a stereo forum so no one else finds out:

Goodbye Stranger- Supertramp
I feel like a super tramp when this one comes on.

I Know Where It's At- All Saints
This it what happens when you put the Beatles and say, a wheel of cheese in an Osterizer and press "chop" about a thousand times.

Informer- Snow. Possibly only Mike Hanson and mykel know this song. The rest of you count yourselves lucky. It's crap, but whatever.

Nobody Does It Better-
I suppose it's fitting that the defining song on cunnilingus is sung by Carly Simon.

Torn by Natalie Imbruglia of course. Lucky for me they play this one at the grocery store now.

Hideaway- Delacy
I feel like a super tramp when this one comes on.

OK 6 crap songs I'll admit to liking only on a stereo forum so no one else finds out.

Oh, and the complete discography of the Bangles. Come on man, Suzanna Hoffs is still hot 20 years after the fact which must count for something.

OK 67 crap songs I'll admit to liking only on a stereo forum so no one else finds out.

[This message was edited by Mike Sae on Tue 16 March 2004 at 9:55.]

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Originally posted by BLT:
I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston.

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NNNooooo......I had almost erased it from the memory banks, and now it's here again....in my head the red velvet curtains are opening and it's coming.......AAANDD IIIIIII YYEEEEEIIIIIIII YYYYEEE IIII .....
AAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHhhhh...

I was surprised that it had been omitted from the list up to now. The scary thing is that nearly all of these songs are quite popular!

Here's my stab:

1. God Gave Rock'n'Roll to Ya -- Kiss: the lowest point of the make-up free wilderness; luckily within two years rock's kabuki was back and not playing any of their songs recorded after '78

2. The Boys of Summer -- Don Henley: the official anthem of 80s baby-boomer nostalgia/regret; so you got rich and stuck a Deadhead sticker on your cadillac - deal with it, it's no longer '68

3. I'm Not in Love -- 10CC: self-absorbed melodrama from the "Me Decade"; get some therapy, get to the disco, or get down to earning the money to buy that cadillac

4. Seasons in the Sun -- any version: an act of pure evil, 'nuff said

5. Music is my Aeroplane -- Red Hot Chilli Peppers; aka, the Chilli Peppers do Barney the Dinosaur - go back to writing songs about Hillel's OD

All IMHO of course. :-)

quote:

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Originally posted by Willito:
4. Seasons in the Sun -- any version: an act of pure evil, 'nuff said

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Half My Age - Sanchez and Lady G - great song about the perils and pleasures of relationships with a wide age range and hilarious with it. All to the tune of Seasons in the Sun. In typical Jamaican style it triggered a whole series of ripostes/rip-offs: Twice my age (the womans perspective), Exactly my age etc. The enthusiast can acquire an entire album of different versions of the song!


(the e-shop that was the source of this picture suggested that purchasers might also like to buy Rudolf Serkin plays Brahms. Commendably eclectic, I thought)

duncan

Email: djcritchley at hotmail.com

quote:

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Originally posted by BLT:
I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston

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Ah, yes, how did I miss that all time gross, vomit inducing song?

Computers are supposed to work on 1's and 0's - in other words "Yes" or "No" - why does mine frequently say "Maybe"?......

quote:

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Originally posted by Willito:
Here's my stab:

2. The Boys of Summer -- Don Henley: the official anthem of 80s baby-boomer nostalgia/regret; so you got rich and stuck a Deadhead sticker on your cadillac - deal with it, it's no longer '68

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One of my all time favourites!
Reminds me of a superb holiday in Italy in Tuscany - you obviously haven't heard it on a good Naim system (Vinyl of course!)

Computers are supposed to work on 1's and 0's - in other words "Yes" or "No" - why does mine frequently say "Maybe"?......

Time for me to finally bite the bullet and get the LP12 I guess.

For me, answering this question is all to do with context. Therefore, my votes are as follows:

1. Blues Brothers - everybody needs somebody to love. Its almost impossible to attend any disco or party in the UK without this god awful song being played. I hate it I hate it hate it.

2.Auld Lang Syne. Its like New Year's Eve meets groundhog day for me. Nobody seems to know the words either. Totally grim.

3. Whitney Houston - I will always love you. And I will always loathe you, Whitney.

4. Movin' on up - M People. Like the sound of a large walrus being disemboweled to a chirpy nursery rhyme. This is truly the worst song of all time. I have smashed a cassingle of this to bits before, and if i catch it in anyone's record collection the same fate awaits!

5. Something by Dido or Jamiroquai. However, as my brain bleeds if i am exposed to either of these "musicians'" outputs, I cannot identify a particular song.

Simon