The Official Wife Swap (Series Three) Thread

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Wife Swap

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Twaddle.

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Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares

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Utter (offensive) twaddle.

(Or were you being ironic?)

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Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares

Utter (offensive) twaddle.

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Can't agree with that, it was a fascinating view of someone with some serious and intense passion for doing a job properly, to perfection, every time.

Makes a nice change from the shoddy 'that'll do' attitude so prevalant everywhere these days.

It was an inspiring demonstration of a great leader with the ability to inspire and drive others to do things they didn't think they were capable of.

Maybe looking a little beyond the odd fuck here and there would be worthwhile?

Andy.

I hate Wife Swap. My blood boils at these horrible, horrible people. It makes me shout at the TV and feel angry. Can't wait.
I agree with Andrew about Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares too.

"Maybe looking a little beyond the odd fuck here and there would be worthwhile?"

Pity the programme makers didn't really. I think the 'highlights' shown tended to be where Ramsay was, understandably, losing his rag with people. There must have been another side to his approach because of the reaction of the 'celebs'.

If it had just been constant shouting and swearing I suspect he would have had to remove the odd meat cleaver from his skull...

Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares was the one where he goes in to sort out a failing restaurant business, not the celeb Hells Kitchen - although it's true we have seen too much of him lately. I suggest he just gets back to running his own restaurants for a while (especially as I have a table booked for a party).

Ramsay's show was a pale imitation of Oliver's much, much superior original version.

Wife Swap I think peaked with Lizze whatsherface. Tonight's episode sounds like the same setup.

Matthew

"Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares was the one where he goes in to sort out a failing restaurant business"

perhaps I ought to watch more TV...

Gordon Ramsay has another show lined up. I read today that he is going to go into prisons to sort out their menus.

Surely going into a prison for a tv programme to update the menu is a bit much. People will get bored especially if there is a Hells Kitchen II

Steve

on second thoughts...NOT

Mick will be up-in-arms. They should be getting bread and water not Chateau Petrus and Ramsay's signature ravioli.

Maybe it's time to go play music again. I usually watch the first one or two of these things and then miss the rest, but lets just forget it , eh?!
Sounds crap.

Gordon Ramsay in prison........ seconded !

Quote from Matthew: Ramsay's show was a pale imitation of Oliver's much, much superior original version.

Matthew, normally we are in agreement, but on this ooccasion, you are very very very wrong. Oliver is a fat-tongued mockney twat, Ramsay is an artist. The Oliver show was part of that ghastly media conspiracy to shove the pukka pillock down our throats until we threw up. It was a cheap nasty effort aimed at mopping up the viewing hours of legions of daft girlies who fancy him. And his cooking's shit (have you eaten at Fiftenn or any of his other over-hyped eateries?)

Hell's Kitchen was unmitigated garbage though, and Ramsay should nnever have made it.

I have to disagree also re Wife Swap. the 'Swap peaked (or has thus far peaked) not with benefits-guzzling Fat Lizzie, but with inattentive Jason and his model dad brother Dave. Now that really was heartwarming, and in facxt it's the heartwarming episodes, rather than the explosive ones, that make for compulsive viewing. I have great hopes for this series.

Kevin

Oh, J.N., I wasn't being ironic at all. As ever, I am deadly serious.

Listening to Gary Crowley standing in for Sean Rowley.

...But still compulsory viewing for all connoisseurs of class warfare, and 928% more engaging than Big Brother, which is, well, so 2002.

And there was one of those nice heart-warming bits wherein useless hubby promises to try a bit harder; wife looks cynical. Best bit for me was when little Tommy Lee threw away the "educational games" prayer-totin' Pat had spent all the housekeeping on.

Much better, actually, wasthe follow-on programme Wife Swap Changed our Marriage in which we got to see Fatty Bardsleybuckle get her norks out for the Sport and watch fab model dad Dave get a new job in Morrisson's and a new tattoo to celebrate! His brother Jason is fast becoming a model father himself and his lovely son was obviously deaad chuffed with his daddy's transformation. I would have blubbed, but I'm too hard hearted these days.

Kevin

Listening to: BLUES & SOUL POWER - FUNKY R&B AND ROCKIN' SOUL CROSSOVERS 1964-72

PS - Have you noticed that nobody - no matter what their class or social status - who takes part in the 'Swap has any books iin their house? Or indeed, any records or CDs?

Kein,

Only us loons have Records, Cds or books on display.

It never ceases to amaze me when I go to other peoples houses that there are nice showroom stylee lounges, with no books, records or CDs, but perhaps a few DVDs under the big telly.

When the wife's friends come round they simply cannot believe that she lets me have walls full of vinyl, piles of records on the floor, behind the sofa, on the landing, in the bedrooms, in the kitchen, books in the toilet (my working class roots that one!) etc.

We are definitley abnormal.

DS

OTC - Progressive Attack - Progressive Attack Vol II

ps I wonder what would happen on a Wife Swap between teo of the prim middle class types - would anyone notice the change ? It is a bit obvious to have the swaps between the Chav style Waynettas and the fussy Felicity types.

Looks like I'm gonna have to maintain this thread single-handed, you bastards!!!

Anyway, after last week's rather tame episode, last night's was a corker: self-righteous hippies (the bloke was called Larch, for fuck's sake, and his kids were called Rowan and Sage. Really!) confront ghastly materialists (complete with shiny, music-less home and vile nine-year-old). A little less of the formulaic class warfare stuff this time, more of a clash of ways of living (neither of which seem very appealing. I mean, would you want to live in a log cabin in the woods, subsisting on stinking veggie slop with no telly? Or a vile, characterless modern detached with foul carpets, a pointlessly big fridge and a telly in every room?).

Still, Emily, the hippy wife, was a woman of seemingly limitless energy, goodwill and patience who seemed to win everyone over. Joanne, the materialistic spouse, was a foul harpy in the best Wife swap tradition. Her husband was largely inert, except when spouting reactionary crap, but some of Emily's Christ-like goodness seemed to rub off on him. Larch was both a prig and a wimp, as many of his kkind are. All the kids were uniformly horrible: in my day they would have been locked in the outside loo and be forced to eat coal.

Next week; serial hedonists/nightclub-obsessed morons confront culture vultures/hideous Ask The Family-style stiffs.

Could be good.

Kevin (Cabaret Voltaire: Here To Go)

PS - A first. In Larch and Emily's "front room" i definitely spotted some books!!!

Kevin
Just to reassure you - we watch wife swap in the K household.
The episode 2 weeks ago - Feltham Chavs versus Prison Warder Christian maniacs was a classic of the series.
Last nights did make a welcome change from the chav vs. middle class scenario.
The lady eco warrior came accross as a very nice person. Larch was a lazy bastard- The only thing I agreed with Fat Consumerist Lady about was that he was spunging off the state on benefits etc.
If only we could all find jobs that didn't involve using up the world's non replenishable stocks then we could all live in the forest and get away from it all.

My missus insists that I watch it every week - "Oh go on - you know you love it". I do love it, but it does my blood pressure no good and I'm sure she is trying to kill me off.
The prison guards - Oh Jeezus - those poor kids being treated like prison inmates because those awful, awful people see "what they may turn into without discipline". True child cruelty.
Last nights was cringeworthy too. I think the trouble with the prog is that no-one is likable. That horrid couple from Brookside Close - did you notice the gas range cooker ("I had to have the cooker I wanted") and they eat from polythene bags from the freezer - the bloke trying to cut a pumpkin with a silly cheap knife on a glass chopping board. No wonder the knife slipped when it hit the glass and went sideways into his hand - so they clearly don't ever cook - just warm things up in the oven!! Then the silly cow takes Larch ( ) to do some "proper" food shopping where the well heeled like them go - yes, Asda!! Fucking moron. More oven chips and shitkin nuggets then. (you see!! - my blood pressure is going up again - my missus will be pleased - I should be dead by the end of the series at this rate). Yeah Kevin - who are you calling a bastard!!
And then that gormless Larch who cannot understand the hypocricy in slagging off the consumers but living on benefit!! And that stupid dipsy Canadian girl who puts her arse wipe in a bin - presumably to donate to a charity shop. And Brookside man who has no life. And those kids - all of them - bloody hell - if they were mine.....
I love it

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Originally posted by Kevin-W:
PS - A first. In Larch and Emily's "front room" i definitely spotted some books!!!

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That's just the arse wipe stock

At the end of each programme they give a number to ring if you want to take part in the next series – No thank you from me – What did Mr and Mrs “£500k house in Merseyside, with the latest top of the range BMW” really hope to gain? Would they be able to tell everyone how rich and clever they were? Well Mr. did say that image was very important and he expected his wife to look smart and keep fit, even though she looked like Jo Brand, only not so attractive and not funny either.
The eco warriors were very interesting but will probably be receiving a call from their local job centre in the near future.
Maybe there should be a forum wife swap, any ideas on who should take part?

CNC

Parry & Robinson spring to mind

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Originally posted by Rasher:
Parry & Robinson spring to mind

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Won't Robinson have to find a wife first?

Forget the wives, just put them together for 2 weeks with the usual rules

In that case I'd vote for Mr. Pig and Mr. Parry!