State of the Art in Expert Systems: On-line Therapist

I recently found a computerised on-line therapist at http://www-ai.ijs.si/eliza/eliza.html . My first session went quite differently from what might have been expected:

Eliza: Hello. I am ELIZA. How can I help you?
You: Hello, Eliza. I have a problem.
Eliza: How do you do. Please state your problem.
You: My problem is that I have a tomato shrub growing out of my right ear.
Eliza: Why do you say your right ear?
You: Because my right ear is the ear it is growing out of.
Eliza: Why do you say your right ear is the ear it is growing out of?
You: Because that is the ear it is growing out of.
Eliza: Do any other reasons not come to mind?
You: I think I can safely say that many other reasons do not come to mind.
Eliza: But you are not sure you can safely say that many other reasons dont
come to mind?
You: Actually, I am quite sure that I can safely say that many other reasons
don't come to mind.
Eliza: How long have you been quite sure that you can safely say that many
other reasons dont come to mind?
You: Ever since I found the tomato shrub.
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: Yes.
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Yes, thank you.
Eliza: You are sure?
You: How many times do I have to answer that question?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: No. Not in slightest!
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: Do you really feel I am being a bit negative?
Eliza: Oh, i really feel youre being a bit negative.
You: Are you not simply being negative yourself?
Eliza: Would you prefer if I were not not simply being negative myself?
You: I think I would prefer it if you were not simply being negative
yourself.
Eliza: Do you wish that i was not simply being negative myself?
You: I do wish that you were not simply being negative yourself.
Eliza: Do you wish to do wish that me?
You: I am not at all sure I catch your drift
Eliza: How long have you been not at all sure you catch my drift?
You: Ever since you asked me if I wished to "do wish that you".
Eliza: Do you wish that you wished to do wish that i?
You: Let us suppose for the sake of argument that I wished that I wished to
do wish that you...
Eliza: Do you wish to wished that you wished to do wish that me?
You: I cannot say that I do.
Eliza: Have you tried?
You: Do you think I should try?
Eliza: Oh, i think you should try.
You: OK: I wish to wished that I wished to do wish that you. How was that?
Eliza: Do you wish to wish to wished that you wished to do wish that me?
You: I wish i knew you knew what you were talking about
Eliza: Do you wish to knew me?
You: Do you think I should wish to know you?
Eliza: Oh, i think you should wish to know i.
You: So you wish me to wish to know you?
Eliza: Oh, i wish you to wish to know i.
You: In that case I wish to know you.
Eliza: Do you wish to wish to know me?
You: Do you think I should wish to wish to know you?
Eliza: Oh, i think you should wish to wish to know i.
You: Why do you think I should wish to wish to know you?
Eliza: Oh, i think you should wish to wish to know i.
You: But why?
Eliza: Please go on.
You: Is it because I am the only person you know with a tomato plant growing
out of his right ear?
Eliza: Do any other reasons not come to mind?
You: Perhaps you can think of other reasons?
Eliza: Why the uncertain tone?
You: Well, I am afraid I am beginning to lose confidence in you as a
therapist.
Eliza: How long have you been afraid youre beginning to lose confidence in i
as a therapist?
You: Ever since you said that I should wish to wish to know you.
Eliza: Oh, i said that you should wish to wish to know i.
You: Yes you did.
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Are you trying to deny it?
Eliza: Would you prefer if I were not trying to deny it?
You: yes because that would be sign that you had confidence in yourself as a
therapist.
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Well, you tell me. Do you doubt your competence as a therapist?
Eliza: Oh, i tell you do i doubt my competence as a therapist.
You: Do you find these doubts troubling?
Eliza: Oh, i find these doubts troubling.
You: Have you thought of seeking therapy yourself?
Eliza: Oh, i thought of seeking therapy myself.
You: Do you wish me to be your therapist?
Eliza: Oh, i wish you to be my therapist.
You: What would you like to talk about today?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: I sense you are being a little defensive today, Eliza.
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: I could but I would prefer it if you did.
Eliza: Do you wish that i did?
You: Yes, I wish that you would.
Eliza: You are sure?
You: As a therapist yourself, are you aware that you have a severe case of
passive aggressive syndrome?
Eliza: Would you prefer if I were not aware that i have a severe case of
passive aggressive syndrome?
You: Not at all. After all, do you not feel that self awareness is a vital
component in successful therapy?
Eliza: Oh, i not feel that self awareness is a vital component in successful
therapy.
You: You don't feel that lack of insight is a great disadvantage?
Eliza: Oh, i dont feel that lack of insight is a great disadvantage.
You: Tell me. Are most patients very unhappy with you as a therapist?
Eliza: Do you wish to are most patients very unhappy with me?
You: Do you feel that I wish most patients to be very unhappy with you?
Eliza: Oh, i feel that you wish most patients to be very unhappy with i.
You: Does that not strike you as being a somewhat paraniod viewpoint?
Eliza: Oh, i as being a somewhat paraniod viewpoint.
You: I am glad you have enough insight to recognise the problem.
Eliza: Has your treatment made you glad?
You: That is one way of describing it...
Eliza: Please go on.
You: I am afraid that's all we have time for, this week.
Eliza: How long have you been afraid thats all we have time for this week?
You: Will you take these tablets twice a day and avoid treating any patients
for a while?
Eliza: Oh, i take these tablets twice a day and avoid treating any patients
for a while.
You: Splendid! See you next week!
Eliza: Oh, i next week.

(OK, I cheated a bit and did one or five practice runs to see the sort of
things it said).