The menopause....

Posted by: TomK on 19 June 2004

Who's been through it, and what did you do to survive?

My wife has been going through a period of extreme moodiness for several years (she's 48 now and frankly in the best physical shape she's been in for 20 years) and it seems obvious it's that time of life for her but she won't accept it. Having a young female GP who reckons she's too young for it to be the menopause isn't helping. Every 4, 8, or 12 weeks I become public enemy number 1: the equivalent of a piece of dog dirt on her shoe. She goes from prancing round singing as if she's in a Julie Andrews musical to trying to kill me, all in the space of a few hours. In between times she's the horniest she's ever been and obviously I don't want to discourage that!

HELP! IT'S DOING MY FUCKING HEAD IN.
Posted on: 20 June 2004 by Berlin Fritz
Try some other doctors mate, so long as it doesn't take so long, that she's approaching senility.

Fritz Von Nationalhormoneservicefan Big Grin
Posted on: 20 June 2004 by cunningplan
In her best physical shape for 20 years, horny has hell, and she's treating you like dirt! Sounds as if she's seeing someone else Wink
Regards
Clive
Posted on: 20 June 2004 by Geoff P
Tom

At approxm your wife's age, my wife had a hysterectomy. It wrought an amazing change. We had an official burning of the sanitary software and because of the various other changes the monthly mood swings which were somewhat similar to you're wife's, were virtually eliminated.

Ok so you don't roll up to the Hospital door and say I liked one hysterectomy please. In my wife's case she had suffered very heavy monthlys all her productive life (and the rest of the family had as well) and she was now suffereing from anemia which was exascerbated by this. So there were sound medical grounds for the operation, but boy was she one happy camper after it was all over. She has never looked back since.

The other thing which is a fact of life of course is the very thing you mention. The age at which the menopause hits is so different for different women that it is presumptious of your wife's doctor to say the least to state that she is too young for it to be really happening.

The manifested symptoms will have a different mix for different women but in general the one that sounds minor but which my wife says is most affecting are the hot flushes. If your wife is suffering this I would beat up the doctor or change to another.

The other area of discussion is hormone replacement therapy. As with everything as time goes by more is learnt and as is often the case it can polarise informed opinon into the "don't believe in it" brigade vs the "I'll put you on it straight away" end of the spectrum. Usually female doctors are more sympathetic to this traumatic time but in the end there are decisions for your wife to make.

There are quite a few personal decision involved in all of this so it has to be a round table discussion with frank sharing of thoughts. Some of my wife's concerns and views were a surprise to me. This is quite a revelation on occasion. It can rock you back on you're heels "You're her husband for chrissake how come you did'nt now this" is what you think, but as we know women are complex creatures.

One other comment it is an old mothers tale but I do think there may be a grain of truth in it . The claim is that if a woman becomes fertile really young she will not feel the effects of menopause until quite late. The opposite is also claimed, start late / finish early. My wife (well actually my ex-wife but we won't go into that) falls into the former category and only now as she approaches 60 is she really seeing strong effects. She says thank god she had the hysterectomy when she did. She even did a rough calculation of all the money it had saved on a monthly basis let alone the health effects.

Anyway if you have'nt already, talk it through as frankly as possible and then do what you're wife wants. She is the one that has to suffer this change the most so it is how she wnats to dael with it that matters.

hope that helps

regards
GEOFF

Listening every day planning to "not fade away"
Posted on: 20 June 2004 by Bruce Woodhouse
Sorry to disagree with Jekyll but 'a simple blood test' does not always give an unequivocal diagnosis of the menopause. It is clear that many women experience symptoms due to reduced ovarian function before the blood tests show significant changes. Big changes in the blood test (which is a surrogate measure for declining oestrogen rather then a direct test there-of) are usually only apparent when the women has already stopped her cycle.

Using HRT may not be suitable for all women either, the balance of risk and benefit for short and long term treatment is complex and ideally individualised. HRT would rarely be appropriate if a patient is still having a regular cycle and has normal bloods.

The link between the biochemical menopause and emotional problems is frequently cited but lots of research has failed to confirm it. This paper has a discussion about this and contains other references. The menopause is about social, personal and domestic change, these factors may be more relevant than altered chemistry.

Rather than suggesting a treatment for your wife I'd suggest better communication between you, your wife and your GP. It may help you to go with her to the doctor perhaps-as long as she agrees.

Since you describe cyclical symptoms, 'pre-menstrual syndrome' would appear to be an equally possible 'label' for the situation.

Her menopause may be years away.

Yours of course may have already arrived. Smile

Bruce

[This message was edited by Bruce Woodhouse on Mon 21 June 2004 at 7:56.]
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by seagull
Oh god, its Werewolf Week at home.

Do the axe murderer tendencies end after the menopause?
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by seagull
Ooops, Mrs S is working from home today and has spotted my previous post (I had hoped to get away with that one...)

Anyway she's pointed me in the direction of this...
is it me or is it hot in here
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by Rockingdoc
[QUOTE]'a simple blood test' does not always give an unequivocal diagnosis of the menopause. It is clear that many women experience symptoms due to reduced ovarian function before the blood tests show significant changes.

But that would be perimenopausal I think. The menopause is pretty definite.

Surely you would do an FSH/LH in this case, or do you just wait for six months amenorrhoea to make a diagnosis.

BTW Dr Jekyll is a well documented lunatic, as are most people who give or seek health advice on the net Wink
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by Bruce Woodhouse
Pretty fair that. I was just pointing out that a blood test was an adjunct to assessing a patient in this situation, not a defnitive tool.

Bruce
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by Rasher
quote:
Originally posted by Bruce Woodhouse:
Rather than suggesting a treatment for your wife I'd suggest better communication between you, your wife and your GP. It may help you to go with her to the doctor perhaps-as long as she agrees.

And I wouldn't mention any suggestions that you have heard from a bunch of strangers discussing your wifes menopause on a hifi forum either! Wink
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by Tarquin Maynard - Portly
quote:
Originally posted by TomK:
. Every 4, 8, or 12 weeks I become public enemy number 1: the equivalent of a piece of dog dirt on
.


Naaaah, thats me.

I have been told off for playing the stereo too loud when I was the only person in. And the house is detached, the windows where closed. And I'm a bad father, its ridiculous of me to call my children "pickle", I drop my "h" on occasion, I sit down for a cup of tea before I put plates in the dishwasher. Thus I am clearly a Nazi baby eater.

the fact that I am generally evil around the 10th of each month HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH PMT YOU ARE SOO WRONG GAAAAA WHAT DO YOU KNOW

Etc.

Spending money I don't have on things I don't need.