Women?

Most definately Yes.
There is no denying that we relate to women in a different way to men (I assume a hetrosexual male standpoint here), and a certain amount of flirtatious behaviour is normal, in much the same way as going dirt biking and boys weekends away are normal. But you wouldn't do either with the other (let's not go there). It is therefore naive to pretend that female & male friends can be treated the same. With this acknowledged though, it is perfectly possible to have female platonic friends. I would emphasise that by the above normal flirtatious behaviour, I don't mean tongue wrestling or removing clothes (it's easier if they arn't attractive of course).
I have several female platonic friends, and one even introduced me to my wife - I still see her regularly and we go to gigs, get drunk, I still slightly fancy her (can't deny it) and there is no problem at all because we are both OK as we are. We acknowledged a long time ago that we wouldn't be very good together, so there is no issue at all. We can still walk along the road with arms around each other with no issues. I have another friend who is now my wifes best friend, and they are now inseparable. I slightly fancy her too sometimes, but that's just me I'm afraid - we go way, way back. I think if you fancy a girl it doesn't change the fact that you can have a plutonic relationship with them at all, as it's just an acknowledgement that they are of the opposite sex, and it would be naive to deny that, and I should think that if you did deny it, you are just kidding yourself, and if you are kidding yourself, then you are not trustworthy enough to handle it.
It causes no problems with me, I don't think twice about my wife going places with our male friends, even though I know some of them fancy her too. It's just being grown up about it basically.
It is absolutely essential that you do not confuse plutonic female friends with potential "girlfriends". I suspect that you are slightly kidding yourself about this one Fisbey otherwise you wouldn't be asking. Partners will not be jealous if there is nothing to be jealous about, but I suspect that in your case there might be
Auntie Rasher
ps - also remember that generally women are much more trustworthy and loyal than men - so if this is about your partner - you should probably trust her, but maybe not quite so much her male friend. If it goes wrong, she can be trusted to deal with it without you interfering.

Since Divorcing after 30+ years of marriage I have an excellent platonic friendship (long distance) with my ex-wife and not living and arguing together has removed an enormous pressure from our relationship. Ironically we can talk about things which were taboo areas when married because they always resulted in confrontation.

I also have a few platonic relationships with younger women (married) whose husbands happen to be friends. I have been called in to act as the male escort in the absence of their husbands (away on business etc) to take them to concert's or dinner and so on.

I have actually become a sort fo "agony aunt" somewhat embarrasingly. As someone a generation older they view me as a neutral adviser on marital woes but interestingly will take criticism of their own behaivour from me that would never be acceptable from there spouses.

I certainly have not broken up any marriages but I may have saved a couple.

regards
GEOFF

Listening every day planning to "not fade away"

quote:

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Originally posted by FISBEY:
Can men be 'just friends' with women? in a platonic way?

What do people here think ?

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Completely impossible for me. I seem to be totally irresistible to the opposite sex which leads to know end of bunny boiling and stalking incidents hey ho it’s a cross I must bear.

you're forgetting about the effect your charming personality has on women, and the allure of your self-confessed 'amply proportioned' posterior

TN

The most common scenario for the so-called platonic relationship is where gender x wants friendship only, gender y wants a bit more, and gender x is (not so) secretly enjoying the attention.

In such a scenario gender y should walk as it will do nothing other than sap his/her self esteem.

Where a greater sense of equilibrium exists between x and y such a platonic relationship can survive and be mutually rewarding.



Regards,

Steve.

Isn't it great to see The Tao of Toy back in full effect?

Matthew

So what you lot are generally saying is: fuck them first and get it over with, then you can move on to have a plutonic relationship.
Ask the girlies what they think.

My best friend is a woman. I've known her for over 12 years. We didn't get on that well when we first met, but we are now firm and fast friends and we speak a couple of times a week and meet regularly (as earlier today, for lunch).

Despite the fact that her parents would like to see us married, I have no interest "in that way" in her, and vice versa. We have shared a bed (sleeping only!) many times, and been on holiday together every year since 1998. I know she trusts me implicitly and can get dressed/undressed in front of me without fear. I am hetrosexual, by the way.

So the answer to your question, FISBEY, is an unqualified "yes".

My other best friend is also a woman. I have known her for 23 years, but our relationship is more complex and fraught. But on the whole we have a mmutually rewarding relationship.

Both women have long term partners and whether or not they are single has not affected our relationship in any way (apart from the fact that you'll see each other a little less regularly when one or both of you is in a relationship).

Kevin (some terrible quality Durutti Column bootleg)

quote:

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Originally posted by Rasher:
So what you lot are generally saying is: fuck them first and get it over with, then you can move on to have a plutonic relationship.

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Plutonic? isn't that out of this world?



Stephen

I have many platonic female friends.

quote:

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a plutonic relationship

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Doggy style ?

Or having two at once.
Yeah, sorry. Silly me.

quote:

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I've slept in the same bed as them (although not all at the same time I hasten to add), get changed in front of each other, get drunk etc without anything sexual happening,

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Well are they gay? or are you just an absolute minger?

Regards
Clive

Basically I think if the girl is ming ming then platonic is possible, otherwise there will always be that bit in the back of your mind.

Good for a wank though.

Cum, cum Garyi, I see you have the matter in hand
Is is platonic if the bloke is ming ming?

quote:

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Basically I think if the girl is ming ming then platonic is possible, otherwise there will always be that bit in the back of your mind.

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So then you end up with gender x and y in reverse, assuming of course that from the outset x was the female and y was the male, given my hypothesis above.

So, "minger" female wants a bit more than just frienship, and "garyi superstud" male is (not so) secretly enjoying the attention.

"Minger/boilerbunny" female should walk as the coffees arrive, leaving "superstud" to pay the bill. That's justice working both ways.



Regards,

Steve.

PS: I'm very PC where women are concerned.

Tao of Toy

quote:

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Originally posted by Steven Toy:
So, "minger" female wants a bit more than just frienship, and "garyi superstud" male is (not so) secretly enjoying the attention.

PS: I'm very PC where women are concerned.

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Remember Garyi can cook.

Very few women can, these days, no matter whether they're ming or plutonic.

you're obviously dating the wrong women, herm!
there are plenty out there who deliver the goods in the kitchen as well as the bedroom, and don't qualify as ming ming
maybe you should move to the uk?

TN

maybe you should move to the uk

... where absolutely no one can cook?

Thomas

For those still strugling in their relationships with women, Steven's hard won advice is:



Hope that clears it up.

Matthew

So there are people here who go on holidays, share beds, get changed in front of, meet for lunch twice a week and get drunk with the opposite sex? and this is while they have partners!

Are you shy, gay or lesbian? or am I missing something.

What's wrong with shagging?

OK - a fair consensus thanks.

I guess it's 'personal' thing how we view/get on with the opposite sex.

(and also how much we know/trust ourselves)

I think I still have some work to do on the latter...

quote:

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Originally posted by garyi:
Basically I think if the girl is ming ming then platonic is possible, otherwise there will always be that bit in the back of your mind.

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Garyi - for me, that's a load of bull! I know many women who are fit as a fiddle (usually not my type mind you!) who I'm just good mates with. Whether any of them fancy me is another matter (ha ha ha then I'll wake up - since I *know* no woman does - barring my ex and we won't go THERE (that IS minger!) ).

As for the common misconception that all men are sex sex sex all the time, that's also false. I've shared beds with women loads of times without stuff happening (sometimes UNFORTUNATELY, sometimes 'cos their bloke would kick my head in, but usually because I'm a gentleman when I need to be.

Here's one for you though - is wanking about a girl you can't have disrespectful to them? I'm not convinced it is, but then again, there are a couple of female friends that I *do* fancy but also respect (maybe too much) that I've never thought about "while I'm alone in the house". What do you guys reckon?

BTW - the old wives' tail about it "making you go blind" is rubbish. I was born blind, been, err, doing stuff since 8, and my eyesight's been slowly improving - he he he...

__________________________
Don't wanna be cremated or buried in a grave
Just dump me in a plastic bag and leave me on the pavement
A tribute to your modern world, your great society
I'm just another victim of your highrise fantasy!

quote:

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Originally posted by redgirl73:
Cunningplan - No on both counts, but I will say that the subject of having sex has been discussed with most of my male friends but personally I think it would change the dynamic of the relationships which is a lot less complicated by not sleeping with them.

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No matter WHAT you say to each other, once the sex thing has happened, it changes the relationship. It's a biiiiiig risk - probably not worth it either.

One night stands with strangers is probably less emotionally risky; one of you (good mates) will probably follow the other around like a lost puppy after the physical act, and that could REALLY mess up a good friendship.

Mind you, it could probably work the other way too. Is it worth the risk though?

__________________________
Don't wanna be cremated or buried in a grave
Just dump me in a plastic bag and leave me on the pavement
A tribute to your modern world, your great society
I'm just another victim of your highrise fantasy!

quote:

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Originally posted by Thomas K:
_maybe you should move to the uk_

... where absolutely no one can cook?

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untrue.
your experience so far has obviously not been good.
I can cook, and I'm not bad at it, even if I say so myself!
but you might not want to shag me though.
britain also has some of the best raw produce in the world, although I like schnitzel and goulashsuppe (spelling?) very much.
salads and bread in germany are also very good, as is the beer.
some german women aren't too bad either, in fact most of them make a nice breakfast

TN

quote:

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Originally posted by Trevor Newall:

I can cook, and I'm not bad at it, even if I say so myself!

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Trevor,

Any favourites you want to share? I am particularly partial to my homemade spinach, ricotta and Parmesan ravioli with a drizzle of garlic enthused butter but it is so time consuming to prepare I rarely indulge myself.