Great News From Benfleet Fred (Berlin)

One assumes Our Acad that all those snakes that end up in your swimming pool at dawn are poisoned by the chlorine and other chemicals therein, or do they become mutant monsters afterwards John?

Cheers,


Fritz Von I've just located the phantom nuisance caller too, it's in the UK of all places (I very rarely get call's from there actually)*

Press Pictures Hunting Link: Worse than Swindon even*

Whils't recently enjoying my Christmas dinner of home made jeppattis and salt with rice and tuna fish, I thought to mesen, Fritz I wonder why that bleedin parcel from England never arrived then? Sent at the end of November it still hasn't arrived to this day (insured Ha Ha post), though cards from as far afield as New Zealand and Asia and the States (sent later) all turned up on time?


Cheers,



Fritz Von My first ever totally alcohol-free Christmas & New Year Period (no fags either, gasp gasp), and I must only bow to the wise thinking of Mr Parry (businessman extraordinaire) who preaches, don't do don't get Master, innit*

P.S. Have you noticed that over the few thousand years of Human Religious infighting the only thing 'TODAY' that Muslims, Jews, Christians, etc, etc, all totally agree upon is their MUTUAL dislike & FEAR/HATRED of Homosexuality!


True or What Chaps?


Good Luck naturally too to the most powerful ever elected Woman in US Political History* It's UPHILL ALL THE WAY GIRL!

N.B. I would have normally had about 6 or so daft calls by now (over the last six weeks daily), but have so far had none, Good that innit Chaps!


Pheasants Peasants what's the difference`?

Personally I think that Pheasant Shoots should be 'Discussed' in both Houses Intensly³, in fact surpassing the 800 Hours+ spent on Fox Running, then nobody in any position of responsibility or power would have to make any decisions until the Summer recess about any other subjects and issues whatso'ever, innit*

Cheers,


Fritz Von Let's face it these Chaps hardly get any holiday time orf at all at all, Damn Poor Blighters*


You know it makes sense!

Times Berlin Correspondent This Chap was interviewed on the local News last night to plug his new book (The title of which I personally find insulting even as a Brit). His German is absolutely excellent (with a strange American accent to-boot?) and although he's probably a very decent Guy, and obviously pretty successful in his field, the view he gave of Berlin (as a Brit) and the one that all you Times readers will religiously adhere to through basic instict, is so far removed from the reality of the Berlin that I personally know and love (irrespective of my current situation) is totally laughable to the extreme. I trust he does very well with his book (more so in UK I tally!) and seeing the pubs he drank in, I felt quite at ease with my first initial pre-judgements*


Cheers,


Fritz Von The Times is Murdoch Crap anyway, and I wholly reccommend to Our Steve & His Missus to go to the 'Dicke Wirtin' (Fat Landlady) Pub in 'Savignyplatz' (which is very nice by the way) (Old haunt of mine in early 80*s famous for its B-Meinhoff connections & very decent Guinness and chilli con carne, etc).


I suspect that this gentleman pays UK Taxes so in my views hasn't got a Scoobie Doo anyway, though I know many Brits here who will love him (All non German speakers by the way, or rather can order a sausage and a beer, have university educations and as much street nouse as thingy from Top Gear, ie, FUCK ALL*


Isn't Our Fritz a real Bitch today!

You remember the Suffolk Murders that nobody's interested in anymore Chaps in case you/they hinder the Plods inquiries! Well after just watching a survivor from yesterday's horiffic Coach Crash on The M4 (apparently Speedin no less) laying in his hospital bed and quite clearly and consciously stating that the driver was flying along into that fatal bend like a lunatic, should the er, media interviewing him be arrested then for obstructing & hindering police inquiries? (as we know Official statements are very different from what really happens, bloody mobile phones should be banned I reckon Chaps)* Would have ruined the Cold War Strategy so they would, innit*


Fritz Von I couldn't Adam & Eve it how fast they whisked that wreck away from the scene, could you?


N.B. Bush'll find a reason to up the Ante in Syria & Iran VERY SOON I reckon Chaps, Watch This Space*

quote:

Originally posted by Hammerhead:
I am Simon 2,

Seems to me the season for wild Cavendish is due about now. The poor creature is obviously in pain (judging by all the noise its making) and needs to be put out of it's misery as soon a possible.

Good hunting,

Steve

Excellent with Stewed Normandy Windfalls & Calvados Sauce by the way*

Fritz Von I reckon most Chaps on here couldn't open a bleedin tin of beans unaided let alone be left in charge of a loaded shooter!

quote:

Originally posted by Nigel Cavendish:
Fucking intellectuals

Obviously never shagged on Campus either!


Explains a lot of the frustration though*

quote:

Originally posted by Beano:
We started getting calls like this a few years ago, and I can understand how you feel, it made my wife ill. I tried deafening the bastard by blowing down the line with a referees whistle!

It eventually ended when BT agreed to get the police involved, this was only after us agreeing to prosecute if and when they caught them, which they did. It turned out to be a mentally ill woman,(suicidal actually) we didn't prosecute. Sadly she succeeded in her quest several months later after receiving her phone bill for 700 quid.

Beano

I hope she paid the bill first Son? It's strange here actually as they have different ways of describing doing onesself in. I'm talking yer classic Don't save me I've had enough, Goodbye Cruel world stuff for whatever reason, and not the medical kill the physical pain, or drift off in hospice bed, etc stuff. Some refer to it as Selbstmord (Murdering onesself) (I don't refer to the Catholic bullshit connotation either) others say Suizid, and others more politelly (refers to more middle Class depressives, etc) she/he took their own lives, though Official German Humour Dictates that if she left a large Dog Jack here, the next of Kin picks up the Tab, Great or What Chaps?


Cheers,


Fritz Von Only one call today and a Kosher (if not illegible) message was left too, almost as if this forum was responsible somehow?


Strange But True Chaps?*



Some subjects are really so fascinating aren't they! I didn't know that Wolfram (Tungsten) came straight out of the earth, I always thought it was an alloy for some reason?*

Bleedin Mountain bike hit me right in the arse the other day, Pratt told me it was alright as he'd only meant it tungsten in cheek!


Shocked & Stunned* NHS is Spending more on GP's targets I see! (You know! chuck a dart, yeah anti-biotics that'll do him, and the amount of GP's that now admit to consulting the internet too! I might as well do it myself, innit*

quote:

Originally posted by Roy T:

quote:

Fucking intellectuals

Sounds good to me.

Do you prefer watching them live or recorded Son?

Cheers,


Fritz Von I'm sure Our Mick could sort you out with something choice, no sweat, or rather very sweaty but problem-free John!*



He knows lots of Chaps*

Using weapons for what reason are mainly best-suited to those that can actually use them properly and expertly, so when shooting fish you kill it outright*

Soldiers are good generally, and those that aren't to make the grade end up as er, firemaims Officers in such exotic places as er, Stockwell & Forest Gate both well renouned for their colourful plumage, innit*

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
Shocked & Stunned* NHS is Spending more on GP's targets I see! (You know! chuck a dart, yeah anti-biotics that'll do him, and the amount of GP's that now admit to consulting the internet too! I might as well do it myself, innit*

You should. The pay's great! You'd better get a move on though 'cos I don't think we're going to keep our jobs much longer.

Lovely to see the Hammers Chadwell Heath training ground on the box just now (spent many a ballboy session there, still got some tanners from Ron Greenwood actually). They've just spent �5 Million Squid on the Craving Fuggin Cottage Captain, so that's a start at least, innit*

Cheers,

Fritz Von Dockinrock me old quack, if yer can't take the medicine, get out the kitchen John, plenty of Poles and Romanian/African Doctors would love to set up a business there to serve the NHS Targets and earn a fortune in the process**


Patient caring folk like you are bleedin History*

N.B. I meant self-medication of which I'm fairly adept actually John* (I'm more political material I feel)

quote:

Originally posted by acad tsunami:

quote:

I would like to get "acad tsunami" out on a clay ground and see how hard it is to hit a clay flying in a consistent direction, let alone a driven pheasant which will be changing direction and speed.

Been there, done it, bought the T shirt and beat a local champion in my very days shooting. We had a competition and I shot my clay and he missed his and I got it with my second shot. Everyone fell about laughing. It was a very enjoyable morning with a good bunch of chaps and a great roast dinner in the local pub afterwards. Don't know why I didnt go again it was great fun.

I've heard of Lemon Curry, but Roast Clay sounds horrendous?


Fritz Von Brrrp! That was inedible Muck and there wasn't enough of it!

Caserole Clay even!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
One assumes Our Acad that all those snakes that end up in your swimming pool at dawn are poisoned by the chlorine and other chemicals therein, or do they become mutant monsters afterwards John?

It was a monitor lizard* Fritz von good link BTW I will read it later. Also there are methods for keeping pool water clean other than chlorine.

*it answers to the name of Monty

Urine is Sterile*

Mrs. Mick adopted ever more radical solutions to the problem of Michael scoffing all the Jaffa cakes (he's such a scamp)

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
Urine is Sterile*

This is true and many the times I have pissed on me raw feet when the blisters burst and went bloody. Those were the days.

I saw a sign in a public swimming pool which said 'We have taken the P out of our ool so please refrain from putting it back' which made me chuckle.

I always love reading Our Micks Classics on the Old (No holds barred) PiSS, now that he's bought his way back into their favour once again
(or is it purely personality Hells Angels menace based I wonder?).

Cheers,

Fritz Von There's Orangey*

Well done Northern Ireland on the dangerous Dog issue, as per usual you're miles ahead of the rest of the UK on really important issues*


Action! Not Bullshit Rhetoric* Cameron for one is terrified of making truly gut-felt instictive independent comments, that's why he'll get nowhere fast*

quote:

Originally posted by acad tsunami:

quote:

Originally posted by ROTF:
[QUOTE]

I think discussions on the colour of Naim kit or what bicycles to use in London are excellent topics for discussion on a Naim forum.

Not saying they are not and I have read all the posts - just having a little tease. I love that song from 'The meaning of Life' its jolly clever.

Happy New Year to you too.

New one on me! What's it called?


Fritz Von I knew an old sailor once who was so chilly the smoke from his pipe froze! Honnist!
and his lunch snap had a whole new meaning John!

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
[QUOTE]

New one on me! What's it called?

All is revealed

quote:

Originally posted by acad tsunami:

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
[QUOTE]

New one on me! What's it called?

All is revealed

Of course! Now I remember, Our Fredders sent me that recently in a Private Mail John*


Cheers Anyway.


Fritz Von I've always liked that Michael Palin, such a clean cut decent sort of Chap, not lke those other nutty riff raff talentless egoistic chums of his What!*

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
[QUOTE]

Fritz Von I've always liked that Michael Palin, such a clean cut decent sort of Chap, not lke those other nutty riff raff talentless egoistic chums of his What!*

Agreed. Not a nasty thought in his head ever. Jolly good actor too. 'He wanks as high as anyone in Wome you know'!

Good Gwief !


Fwitz Won I watched the Italian Job remake last night, and bloody good it was too*

I see that Our Washer*s making Wash Statements again, Good Egg though so he is, innee!

Marvellous to see that JoBurg is investing millions of squid on British Made CCTV's etc, then, just think at this rate it'll soon be as safe there as er, Britain is, Wunnit*


Fritz Von Oprah Winfrey's New School there for underpriveleged girls seems well worth donating a few bob to too Chaps I must say Dunnit*


N.B. Of course the last time the Aussies Whitewashed the English over the Ashes, The Great War Casualties played a part in the explanation, I wonder what it will be this time then Chaps?



Is Ledgeing Cricket?

Old Parry knows how to show a girl a good time (and no need to tip the waiters here either)

I wonder why little girls stop farting at a certain age then?


Still no silly calls today Chaps, is this a coincidence???

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
I wonder why little girls stop farting at a certain age then?