Great News From Benfleet Fred (Berlin)

Wotta Corker! How on earth would one get it out again though John?

Cheers,


Fritz Von Chaps! I can't sit around here all Bally day farting about on an internet forum like you overpaid undertaxed Playboys of no fixed abode can; I've got serious survival work to get sorted afore Curfew, innit*



Goodnight*



Corfu?



Well open the bloody winder then!

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
Wotta Corker! How on earth would one get it out again John?

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:

[QUOTE] I've got serious survival work to get sorted afore Curfew, innit*

Good luck with that Fritz von duck und dive - don't let the bastards get you down is what I say.

A Wee Joke Breaky:

A man goes out hunting and kills a deer. He brings it home and cooks it for dinner but doesn't tell the family what it is. His 5 year old daughter stops half way through her meal and sighs, "What is this meat we are eating?" Man replies, "I'll give you a clue, it's what your mum sometimes calls me." Daughter pushes her meal away in disgust and yells, "I'M NOT EATING THAT, IT'S A FUCKING ARSEHOLE!"

Yummy Chaps! It beats Bloody Tinned Tuna Fish anyday*

Even here in the Great & Perfect Germany, Townies cause havoc in farming areas with their silly luvvy Duvvy dogs running amok amongs't sheep etc, who are promptly and legally wasted by Farmer Klauses (Relative of Giles & Jaques) 12 Bore, and often brought afore the beak as well to answer to further charges.


Fritz Von Oooh Aaaah Me Ducks*

The problem is Our Fredders, if some twat shoots
at you, and you don't shoot back my Son, You are Brown Bread my Old Brother, it's as simple as that.


Cheers,

Fritz Von

Star Gazin sang Mamma Cass, then she died. I mentioned on here about three years back when the Hammers were still in the 1st Division and nobody had ever heard of them, or Pardue, cos as is the nature of this forum, Chaps only talk about popular winning *Brands* and English cricket, that I thought Beckers would finally end up at Upton Park as a natural & well loved local (cos that's what he's really all abaat, well I think it could soon well transpire at long last, innit).



Fritz Von Don't tell anybody please as you know how tongues can wag, as well as it being a top secret.


When Jack Straw becomes Prime Minister, Beckham may well find a role in Yoof Sport management too*


N.B. I wonder if any of the moany drivers on the moany drivers thread have ever checked to see if they've got leaks in their tanks?


Moany Moany, er Moany Moany, er Moany Moany ***

Pheasant on toast's nice for breakfast Chaps, with a massive Acupulco Gold Joint, two bottles of Veuve click & freshly wrung OJ, covered in Heinz & me Polish mate from Stettin, naked*


Brrrp.


I wish*

quote:

Originally posted by Cosmoliu:
A ski house I stayed at in Colorado had tile floors with in floor heating and it worked quite well for the reasons enumerated above. Standing on the tiles with bare feet was very pleasant. I can't comment on how (in)expensive it might have been.

Norman

Norm! That sounds fantabulous John, I expect you'll be going there again soon just to experience the under-floor heating once more barefoot?


Cheers,


Fritz Von Fuck the Skiing, I'd just stay at home and enjoy warm feet, mind you in the middle of summer the earth outside is even more warmerer, innit*



Did you know that Eskimo babies piss ice cubes in the bed at night?


Bloody Romans! What the fuck have they ever done for us, eh?

quote:

Originally posted by Chillkram:
Time to say goodbye and thanks to some of the all-time cricketing greats.

Warne, McGrath and Langer are just immense cricketers and although England have been on the end of gleeful beatings from them on so many occasions it is time to recognise the huge contribution they have made to the game.

So long guys and, er, thanks for kicking our arses with such humour and enjoyment and for being top, top sportsmen.

We won't miss you though you bastards!

Mark

Just think! If there's ever another World War in the not too distant future (Hero's only need apply & No Poofters, unless you're a Marine of course) there'll be another Gggreat reason as to why England get their arses kicked 5-0 in yet another whitewash, the point being that if the War wasn't occurring you'd have the strongest team & whipped theior bottoms convincingly, John.


Cheers,


Fritz Von As far as I'm concerned whils't open and aggressive ungentlemanly LEDGING often happens unabaited, Cricket simply is not er, Cricket.



John Major should know!

Takin the PiSS or what Chaps?

When Our Mick joined the Post Office in 1980 and retired on full pension not so very long afterwards thanks to Maggie Hilda, one does actually wonder what he did afore that time innit? Was he a Milkman (Ernie comes to mind) or just the fastest conman in the west? No ageism here Chaps.

Water Bills are going up again then Chaps! As you all know Inglerland is the only place in the world that actually drinks fresh clean wonderful tap water, so you Chaps should count yourself very jolly lucky, innit*

When Gordon was in Africa ir was so Hot that water just evapourated into the Climate Change?



Two Pints of Crude please Guvnor!


Yes Sir, That'll be 50 Pence and would you like anything to drink with it?

Here's that sick squid I owe you Fritz. Don't spend it all at once.

quote:

Originally posted by scipio2:
A muslim fanatic has been found guilty of inciting murder and mayhem in the London 'Danish cartoon' protest but will not be sentenced until April. Why not just deport him to an Islamic country and be done with it?

With all due respect John, this er, News is three days old and you are a Prize Wanker! Allwight?


Cheers,


Fritz Von Well done Our Acad he looks a right Old Diddly Bo Dunnee Kid!

Good News is, I've had only one silly call all day so far, bad news just got a mega letter from Court Lawyer to fill out mega shite paperwork 'again' (in triplicate) all costs dosh, and an appointment next week in the middle of bloody nowhere at his Orifice, which also costs dosh there & here, and late*


Can't let em get me down Chaps, or I'll seriously droon* Bastards³*

The following moaning at 09:00 the new owner of this house will honour me with his presence for the first time, and basically slowly bullshit me into saying you'll have to leave John cos you cannie pay my new hike,and with 200,000+ other empty flats in Berlin (mainly being bought up by British Investors & mates of Our Mick) I'll have even less chance of getting on in life, and all on my birthday too, it really does make me wonder why I stay on the straight & narrow sometimes Chaps, I mean I could have so much couldn't I if I just played the game, innit*

Well I never Chaps*

I nearly forgot that the Bush Family were and AREARE still good Ole Buddies with the Bin Laden Clan, and Our Tony is seriously licking Saudi's bottom (Now there's a place that knows about Sadistic torture, making victims begged to be killed (ask any totally innocent British Citizen who's experienced it Hard Talks Passim 2006 etc, etc, etc,?


Did you know that Islam is illegal in the UK?


Come on you Skidrow on Sea!



Money! It's a Drag***

Parry agrees to use one of his 52 Braun electric shavers to shave his hair orf for charity (Mrs Mick's 911 fund)



(I would show you finished result but its not for those of a sensitive disposition)

Why Oh Why are people such prize Prats with their sunglasses Our Acad? I proudly own an old pair of Classic Blues Brother type Raybans and have never EVER put them on my head or tried to look like Joan Collins on an early moaning shoot without her war paint on´, Just Why do these Twats do it eh, it's pathetic?



Cheers,


Fritz Von Parry, Merlin & Lacey (or was it Cagney?) will all be out together now singing their favourite Malcolm Allison hits, drinking Brasso from 'Hip' flasks and reminding each other that Queen Vicky actually ordered it to be built, before some daft git burned it down again that is!


Wap Ho Chaps! As they Say in Spain, innit*


A Doo Wop doo Wop.

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:

Why Oh Why are people such prize Prats with their sunglasses Our Acad?

I dunno our Fritz I am but a simple man who knoweth not alot but I suspect parry would wear em on top to hide his bald patch and then forget where he had put em like my old grandmother who was scenile too just like our Michael.

My local Pie & Eel Emporium



When Cows and Sheep eat their placentas, are they being temporarily carnivorous?


Perhaps Our Steve & His Missus could get some nice gifts here to take back with them?


innit.

They'll be beating the Gunners and Man U before you know it!

quote:

Originally posted by KeanoKing:
Just watched Apocalypto - and i may be mistaken but i'm sure Ronaldinho featured as the main star..... this may explain his lack of form during the worls cup.....

What's your Native language then John, fucking Chinese or What?


Chherey fLowery twAts


Fritz Von , asterickkkks *** ...:

Concerning cows and sheep eating their afterbirths: canibalistic even? Can animals be classed as canibals, in same way as some humans? Canibalism is a form of behaviour found among factory farmed chickens, where it is a form of distraction behaviour brought on by over crowding, but I am not sure if using the term is strictly correct...

Can real vegetarians drink beer, considering what is used to clarify it after the brewing process?

Is being a vegetarian a natural thing for a human, and is it healthy? Considering what happens to cows after they have finished producing milk is there any moral justification for not eating meat, while continuing to consume dairy produce?

Questions, questions... But not aimed at you, Fritz, but rather provoked by your post above about placentas...

Kindest regards from Fredrik

Well done Our Fredders! It's unlike me to admit to er 'emotion' on this forum but I've been in such a foul mood over the last few hours, I dared not actually post anything for fear of having Our Adam's wrath fall upon me, which most surely would have ensued* (It's good to know ones parameters too I feel) wether on here, or in real life, innit. I'm far more calmed now, have waded through the first preparitory attack on my legal mega-paperwok covering some 50% of it. I rang a fellow dole scrounger around the corner (a Yank would you believe) and blatanly asked him if he could lend me a few bob (havent spoken to him for ages so it was well cheeky, and he even makes Parry seem generous on the old money score) he said yeah OK 15% interest naturally! I got it, said happy New Year, and got me a nice Kebeb and a few braces of Warsteiner en route home (While I still have it), which I'm now gonna enjoy over a movie*


Cheers,


Fritz Von This is even more betterer than bloody Christmas was*



Brrrp*

Great to see all the Gels attempting to scratch each others eyes out once again on the old so-called 'Legal?' Pro thread, innit.

Cheers ladies,



Fritz Von Personally I think that the new Arab speaking CNN TV Networks etc, and the New English language Al Jezeera, etc, are a seriously good start to improve things as Communication Breakdown (or rather none in the first place) are the route cause of much of the uncertainty and shoot first ask questions later mentality that prevails, much to the profit of Cheynie etc (on all sides)*



It's blatantly obvious (to Moir at least) even in UK thinking areas that blinkered views are paramount² quickly becoming 'unsubstaniciated' fact* yet one spends half ones life watching Progs declaring how clever all the CSI teams & D & A are Johns, innit*


that'll do nicely thank you*



And Today Children, We'll be looking through the Thingy-shaped Winder*

quote:

Originally posted by scipio2:
No. Are you a member of Taliban?

Are you a member of the BNP? Over to you.

[/QUOTE]


Happy Real Christmas Everybody, it begins in 13 minutes here, innit*

As I'm sure you're all well aware, the geezer wot discovered D & A was out of his bonce on LSD at the time wunnee! (or was it perhaps the other way round?) I'll have to ask the Chief on that one, he knows everything, innit*



Goodnight Chaps*

quote:

Originally posted by Basil:
Roundabouts

And Swings, innit!


Fritz Von Drives yer nuts dunnit*

quote:

Originally posted by long-time-dead:
Maybe Acad does indeed have a point.

If we shipped all the Christian criminals from our country to Israel/Palestine then our economy could flourish as a result of the saving.....

Strangely enough I was thinking just the same thing earlier John!


Cheers,


Fritz Von And this being Christmas Day and all, as Celebrated by the Worlds oldest Christian Church and not Sky News*