Lord Lucan is found

Posted by: erik scothron on 23 March 2006

Yes it’s true, Lord Lucan was found this morning in a base camp on the west face of a large pile of things my mother can’t bare to throw away and hoards on an industrial scale in a room dedicated for the purpose that sane people would usually call a ‘spare bedroom’.

Also found were a lost tribe of South American pygmies, the secret headquarters of Opus Dei, assorted planes and boats reported lost over the Bermuda triangle and three, yes three watering cans (my mother lives in a flat btw - but ‘well, dear one never knows when one might need a good watering can and they don‘t make watering cans like this anymore and your father said………blah blah blah!.’).

What can I do? All silly suggestions carefully considered.
Posted on: 23 March 2006 by Hammerhead
Ebay your mum. Keep the other stuff Winker
Posted on: 23 March 2006 by Bob McC
This is a serious reply but might not appear so. Before you throw anything away check it thoroughly. My mother took to storing wads of cash, I mean hundreds of pounds at a time, among her knitting patterns, in the laundry and under the towel bales. We found it purely by chance when she went into hospital and we went to get her stuff for her stay. And she did it again when she got home!
Posted on: 23 March 2006 by Guido Fawkes
Hi Erik

Your mum didn't find my missing Albert Hammond bootleg amongst the pile by any chance?

Rotf
Posted on: 23 March 2006 by Abbey-Crunch
Can you check and see if there are a number of mobile phones in the pile? My other half keeps losing them and I have looked everywhere.
Posted on: 23 March 2006 by Gianluigi Mazzorana
Hi Erik!
Sorry but..............what's Lord Lucan?
Posted on: 23 March 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:
Hi Erik!
Sorry but..............what's Lord Lucan?


Hi Gianluigi,

Lord Lucan was/is a British aristocrat who police believe murdered his children's nanny back in 1974. He ran away and has never been seen since(until now Winker )although many people have reported seeing him in various countries. It caused quite a scandal in the UK and the story has been in the news and on TV many times since the foul crime was committed. Here is a link to one of the many looney websites concerning Lord Lucan

Regards,

Erik (reporting live from the south face)
Posted on: 23 March 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by bob mccluckie:
This is a serious reply but might not appear so. Before you throw anything away check it thoroughly. My mother took to storing wads of cash, I mean hundreds of pounds at a time, among her knitting patterns, in the laundry and under the towel bales. We found it purely by chance when she went into hospital and we went to get her stuff for her stay. And she did it again when she got home!


Bob,
Very interesting Bob, when the search parties come back I will inform them of your information.

Andrew and Rotf - please be patient, this is going to take a long time.
Posted on: 23 March 2006 by Gianluigi Mazzorana
quote:
Originally posted by erik scothron:
Lord Lucan was/is a British aristocrat who police believe murdered his children's nanny back in 1974.



Thanks Erik!
It's like saying your mother is collecting such a lot of incredible things?

If i think back to my grandmother...........when she left us and we opened the old wardrobes there were an icredible number of things we took days to take out and decide to do with.
Even boxes with very short rope pieces...........................
Posted on: 23 March 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:
quote:
Originally posted by erik scothron:
Lord Lucan was/is a British aristocrat who police believe murdered his children's nanny back in 1974.



Thanks Erik!
quote:
It's like saying your mother is collecting such a lot of incredible things?


Yes, it's hard even to get into the room as it is full of so rubbish and that is why the naughty Lord Lucan could hide there undetected for so long! He was not the oldest resident hiding away, there was a Japanese spy who did not know the war was over!


Even boxes with very short rope pieces..........................
quote:


Eek Eek
Posted on: 24 March 2006 by thejejk
quote:
Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:
Even boxes with very short rope pieces...........................


On a more philosphical note; how short can a rope become until it is no longer a rope? What do you call a rope that is too short? (except "a rope that is too short"..)
Posted on: 24 March 2006 by domfjbrown
Have you heard Shergar neighing in there yet? Smile

Seriously, my sister's like this (no wadges of cash unfortunately). But her WHOLE 3 bedroom house is like it. She's on the cusp of being repossessed so guess who's dealing with the tip again? I've been clearing that sodding house out every other month for the last 10 years and it's so wearing...

For your sanity, lob out as much as you can - but check for non-sequential bills first!
Posted on: 24 March 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by domfjbrown:
Have you heard Shergar neighing in there yet? Smile

Seriously, my sister's like this (no wadges of cash unfortunately). But her WHOLE 3 bedroom house is like it. She's on the cusp of being repossessed so guess who's dealing with the tip again? I've been clearing that sodding house out every other month for the last 10 years and it's so wearing...

For your sanity, lob out as much as you can - but check for non-sequential bills first!


No Shergar as yet but there was a large pile of bones in one corner of the room marked 'property of the Natural History Museum'. Later today we plan on scaling the north face which is the part of the hoard most hidden as it lies in the far corner of the room. Already there has been much media speculation as to what may be found there.

Is this hoarding obsession a woman thing? I know of quite a few hoarders and they are all women. Why do they do it?
Posted on: 24 March 2006 by Rasher
quote:
Originally posted by thejejk:
On a more philosphical note; how short can a rope become until it is no longer a rope? What do you call a rope that is too short? (except "a rope that is too short"..)

Without wanting to get into this, the rope becomes nothing other than it already is, the only grey area arising is due to the inadequate language to describe it. So it's just a language thing and not a thing thing.
Posted on: 24 March 2006 by erik scothron
[QUOTE due to the inadequate language to describe it. So it's just a language thing and not a thing thing.[/QUOTE]

Agreed. Winker
Posted on: 24 March 2006 by Derek Wright
Pity you did not a get a media studies graduate to create a reality TV show out of the adventure.
Posted on: 24 March 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by Derek Wright:
Pity you did not a get a media studies graduate to create a reality TV show out of the adventure.


We are negotiating with Paramount for the film rights Derek. Speilburg is interested.