Wifely foibles

Posted by: Dungassin on 17 November 2010

Just been out Christmas shopping with SWMBO. Didn't seem to get much, but spent an awful long time being dragged round various shops. Most of the purchases were made by me - perhaps I'm quicker to make decisions? Smile

Then did the weekly shop in Sainsburys - took 3 times as long because she was with me (sigh)

Real reason for the post? Well ... when we set off, she was feeling cold so she tuned the heating up in the car. As usual completely ignored my comments that the car has climate control, and it won't actually warm up until the engine does. The same thing happens at home, when she complains about it being too hot upstairs, and I carefully point out to her that this is because the heating kicked in while she was gardening and left the front door open - the thermostat sensor is in the hall, so, surprise, surprise, the heating came on.

Women ... I'll qualify that ... perhaps it should just be ... wife ... Winker
Posted on: 17 November 2010 by graham55
I don't have one any more, thank goodness.......
Posted on: 17 November 2010 by deadlifter
Just think if you could understand them and their thoughts, i mean really understand them. You could write books that would out strip any publication ever printed. Eek. It will never happen though Winker Big Grin
Posted on: 17 November 2010 by Dungassin
I took over the weekly shop when I retired. I always insist on a written list, then she can't accuse me of forgetting anything (though she still tries). Usually only takes me 10-15 minutes when I'm on my own - unless I run into an old friend for a chat. What really gets me is that when she comes with me (about once a month) she will never accept that I know the layout of the store much better than she does, and, so there is always much back-tracking etc. Then we get to the checkout, and I am either considired totally incapable of doing the packing OR she decides to bugger off to the loo or back into the store, only reappearing when I'm standing by the exit looking for her.

Roll Eyes Good excuse for a moan, this topic, isn't it?
Posted on: 17 November 2010 by deadlifter
I'm only forty years old but whenever my mrs gives me instructions I just say write it down Big Grin
Posted on: 17 November 2010 by tonym
John, is it possible we're married to the same person? I know it's a daft thought but...
Posted on: 17 November 2010 by Dungassin
quote:
Originally posted by tonym:
John, is it possible we're married to the same person? I know it's a daft thought but...

Let me see ...
Does your other half only see you on Wednesday or Friday afternoons? That's when SWMBO usually disappears to "visit" with one of her cronies.
5'2", olive skin, brown eyes, black hair, speaks with a very slight Maltese accent?
Very short fuse?

If so ... YES!!! Big Grin
Posted on: 17 November 2010 by TomK
Haven't been getting on at all well for quite some time and when I told her I didn't understand why she thought she should shout at me constantly she replied, "But if I can't shout at you who can I shout at?". Those exact words. I suppose there's some perverse logic in there somewhere.
Posted on: 17 November 2010 by Dungassin
You could always reply as I do "Yes, dear". Drives her mad, 'cos she says I only say that when I'm not listening. Winker

Anyway, I think it's my turn to make tea (dinner if you're posh) tomorrow. I'll no doubt be in the bad books because I'll take over the kitchen for 2-3 hours while I cook up a large batch of filling for Steak and Mushroom pie. Little does she know that I'm planning to try out a couple of new cake recipes at the weekend. Not "manly", I know, but I actually like cooking. Smile
Posted on: 17 November 2010 by DenisA
Perhaps naim could market a cooking apron with ipod accessories for you Winker
Posted on: 17 November 2010 by TomK
It would take six months to burn in though.
Posted on: 18 November 2010 by Dungassin
quote:
Originally posted by TomK:
It would take six months to burn in though.

Depends how close you stand to the hob. Winker

Today she's on her "don't sneak up on me!" kick. This happens about once a fortnight. Just because I wasn't my usual (according to her) baby elephant self, I get accused of creeping up on her. Smile
Posted on: 19 November 2010 by tonym
quote:
Originally posted by Dungassin:
quote:
Originally posted by tonym:
John, is it possible we're married to the same person? I know it's a daft thought but...

Let me see ...
Does your other half only see you on Wednesday or Friday afternoons? That's when SWMBO usually disappears to "visit" with one of her cronies.
5'2", olive skin, brown eyes, black hair, speaks with a very slight Maltese accent?
Very short fuse?

If so ... YES!!! Big Grin


Wow! That's really spooky! Definitely the same person - just got to work out how she manages to change into a 6'+, peely-wally Scot.
Posted on: 19 November 2010 by Dungassin
quote:
Wow! That's really spooky! Definitely the same person - just got to work out how she manages to change into a 6'+, peely-wally Scot.

Yup. Peely-wally ... that takes me back. Pale and unwell, for those of you who are sassenachs (like me). As I lived in Edinburgh for 6 years, perhaps I should hire myself out as a translator. Winker
Posted on: 19 November 2010 by TomK
You don't have to live up here for very long to realise why terms like "peely wally" and "dreich" are so common.

Winker
Posted on: 19 November 2010 by tonym
Up to me oxters in smur today.
Posted on: 20 November 2010 by Analogue Rules OK
quote:
Originally posted by TomK:
It would take six months to burn in though.



Not with the gas up high?
Posted on: 20 November 2010 by Dungassin
Just posted this comment in a related thread on "man couch", but :

NEVER, EVER give an opinion when asked by her "which of these (dresses, shoes etc) do you prefer?" - unless, of course, you REALLY hate one of them. Roll Eyes
Posted on: 20 November 2010 by mudwolf
Dungassin, please cook for me. "It's not manly?" great chefs are men as well. I got out of college and I knew how to cook a hot dog and make a peanut butter sandwich. Mom never taught me how to roast a chicken. In the 60s my sisters took cooking lessons at school (measures and temperatures, how to handle dairy and all that) I took shop and followed dad around the house doing chores.

Good friend has me over for dinner, he learned from his mother a country french style, absolutely incredible with a glass Of wine which I bring.
Posted on: 20 November 2010 by Dungassin
Thank you! Smile

My father taught me how to cook. My mother, may she rest in peace, had difficulty boiling an egg. So, when I went to Uni and eventually moved into the inevitable shared flat, I was welcomed with open arms because I could cook!

When I got married I was a skinny lad of less than 10 stones (and I smoked). Since then the combination of stopping smoking, SWMBO's excellent cooking (and my own) have caused me to "enlarge" somewhat. Winker
Posted on: 20 November 2010 by Tarquin Maynard - Portly
I live with the Evil Bitch Queen from Hades.
Posted on: 20 November 2010 by George Fredrik
Does she know [that you think that]?
Posted on: 21 November 2010 by Don Hooper
Mines a diamond, she does not nag, likes football, cricket and for my birthday took me on a tour of Lords (MCC), then we went to the pub. She loves music and doesn't mind that the lounge is full of hifi kit.

Do I understand her 'NO' do I want to understand her 'no'.

We have many conversations when I say to her "I understand ever word you are saying but I don't have a clue what you are on about"

When I get asked the dreaded either or question relating to shoes /dresses etc I say which do you prefer and then agree with her choice.

Their brains are just wired differently to ours.

Having said all this I would miss her terribly if she was not around.

With pleasure there is always pain. That is the way of the world. It has always been that way and it will continue that way.
Posted on: 21 November 2010 by Dungassin
I know exactly what you mean. I love my wife dearly, but anyone who knows us well realises that we bicker all the time, and have a standup row about once a fortnight. Very similar to my parents, IIRC. Never understood those who say they never argue - but we ALWAYS make up. Big Grin
Posted on: 21 November 2010 by Don Hooper
We must be strange as in nearly thirty years we have only had three big bust-ups. We don't argue just don't see the need. This does not mean we don't disagree becaus we do. We just seam to deal with things in a calm manner. like is too short for conflict.
Posted on: 21 November 2010 by Dungassin
I think it's just different personality types. I and "the boss" are both calm and sensible people most of the time, but she and I readily admit to being a little "volatile" at times. No blows are ever exchanged, and the worst that ever happens is that VERY occasionally (about once a year) we won't speak to each other for a day. We bicker and argue with each other, heaven help anyone who tries to pick on either one of us - both mutually very protective. I would hate to have to live without her. If she is late coming home from one of her "visits" with a friend, I worry, and so does she if I'm out longer than expected - at least since I retired and became much more predictable. We're all different, and this is the way we have chosen to rub along. It works well for us. Smile Only another year to go till our Ruby Wedding ...