Hi-fi acronyms, euphemisms & thesaurus
Posted by: nicnaim on 24 November 2005
Is there any value in posting explanations of Hi-fi acronyms, euphemisms etc in a dedicated thread for the uninitiated.
I for one was extremely grateful when someone recently explained the connection between a Chris Waddle haircut (circa 1988) and someone's system.
This idea has been shamelessly plagiarised from the Viz Prafanisaurus, which has unfortunately now gone commercial. The link below will take you to an earlier free version.
http://www.milkinfirst.com/dictionary/profanisaurus.htm
Nic
I for one was extremely grateful when someone recently explained the connection between a Chris Waddle haircut (circa 1988) and someone's system.
This idea has been shamelessly plagiarised from the Viz Prafanisaurus, which has unfortunately now gone commercial. The link below will take you to an earlier free version.
http://www.milkinfirst.com/dictionary/profanisaurus.htm
Nic
NACA: A sixteen year old Volvo 240!
Bi-amping: Having it both ways, but not quite as good as either...
Tri-amping: Plain greed!
Speaker: Honoured guest (often paid to be) at a usually very expensive party.
Loud Speaker: Similar to above but just slightly too loud for comfort or the long term health of the hearing. Oddly few seem to know what the attenuator is for. (Sit down for Pete's Sake; they've gone to sleep...)
Stand: Not suitable for a familly show.
Plinth: Used to put gravestones on.
Hydra: A mythological beast from ancient history. Perhaps the Hifi sort should grows two extra heads for each one cut off. NB: cutting the head of a Hydra may expose lethal voltages and MUST not be done. The suggestion was in fun only!
LP: Long player, particularly if it skips backwards in a quiet bit and nobody notices very soon.
EP: Similar but shorter.
78: Painful for Hifi enthusiasts.
Auto-changer [not now strictly Hifi]: A hated beast that rips the stylus of an LP 20 seconds before the music finishes, thus ruining the quiet bit at the end for when you get a decent deck.
Deck: Something sailors scrub when the Navy has nothing better for them to do.
Radio Frequency Interference: Some silly devil has retuned the Concert while you disappear to make a coffee in the interval, and you miss the begining of the second half, and you were recording on the Tape machine.
Tape machine: Makes music performances longer and lower-pitched than it was originally. But not constantly so.
Static: Cause of lightning - beware LP uses.
Ecstastic: Spent thunderbolt. No recorded cases of LPs actually killing their owners, as far as I know.
Mains: Quality always suspect, but usually good enough for the cooker.
Spur: Something cowboys use.
Multiple-spurs: Worn by the many extras in cowboy films.
Ring: something Wagner wrote occupying many LPs, see above.
Crabtree: Bit like a Rhubarb-tree, but an essential component of some Mains leads.
Leads: Police are looking for these after a succession of thefts from Dixons Stores all over Britain.
Replacement Leads. Evidence made up by the Police to excuse the lack of progress in the investigation just mentioned. Often a dubious diversion.
Transformer: A variety of toy that pleases young children.
Earth: Where plants grow.
Electricity (see mains): Not used in the acoustic gramophone. Comes in different forms; static, see above. AC and DC, though it is crucial to know the difference to avoid offending sensitive friends.
[Does anyone think that the music signal is in fact an irregular form of AC? It must be, really, or else the speakers would only travel in one direction, which might be uncomfortable, and ceratinly expesive. But if it is then how do you explain directionality?]
Directionality: The arrows on you speaker cable and connects. See previous point.
Watt: "Pardon, dear: It is more polite."
Separate Components: A way to annoy the wife.
Separate Power Supply Units [PSUs]: Doubles the effect mentioned above.
Music: An irrelevance, and not much discussed in Hifi circles.
A Good Recording: One that makes the Hifi sound splendid, even if the performers are deadly dull.
A Fine Performance: Required of a Hifi set to make the previously mentioned recording sound fine. Nothing will rescue the programme though.
Sound Engineer: Someone who manipulates the balances and tone of a master record till it becomes a parody of the performance the hits the Mike.
Mike [Parry]: Often good value in a funny sort of way!
Sorry, Mick. Where are you these days?
Forum Administrator: Like the Police, never there when you want them, and always there when you make a fool of youself!
Mullet: A type of fish, a sort of hair-cut where the back is long and the front short, and a description of a Hifi set where the speaker cost ten times the sourrce and the amp three times.
Source: Usually Deck, or CD Player, [pronounced see dee for come reason, but probably not in foreign lands], Tape machine or Wireless. The source, it seems to me is is relay, or the recording, and even more correctly the music contained within this source, just to be serious for a nano-second.
Am I forgiven for the above diversion? All the best from Fredrik
Bi-amping: Having it both ways, but not quite as good as either...
Tri-amping: Plain greed!
Speaker: Honoured guest (often paid to be) at a usually very expensive party.
Loud Speaker: Similar to above but just slightly too loud for comfort or the long term health of the hearing. Oddly few seem to know what the attenuator is for. (Sit down for Pete's Sake; they've gone to sleep...)
Stand: Not suitable for a familly show.
Plinth: Used to put gravestones on.
Hydra: A mythological beast from ancient history. Perhaps the Hifi sort should grows two extra heads for each one cut off. NB: cutting the head of a Hydra may expose lethal voltages and MUST not be done. The suggestion was in fun only!
LP: Long player, particularly if it skips backwards in a quiet bit and nobody notices very soon.
EP: Similar but shorter.
78: Painful for Hifi enthusiasts.
Auto-changer [not now strictly Hifi]: A hated beast that rips the stylus of an LP 20 seconds before the music finishes, thus ruining the quiet bit at the end for when you get a decent deck.
Deck: Something sailors scrub when the Navy has nothing better for them to do.
Radio Frequency Interference: Some silly devil has retuned the Concert while you disappear to make a coffee in the interval, and you miss the begining of the second half, and you were recording on the Tape machine.
Tape machine: Makes music performances longer and lower-pitched than it was originally. But not constantly so.
Static: Cause of lightning - beware LP uses.
Ecstastic: Spent thunderbolt. No recorded cases of LPs actually killing their owners, as far as I know.
Mains: Quality always suspect, but usually good enough for the cooker.
Spur: Something cowboys use.
Multiple-spurs: Worn by the many extras in cowboy films.
Ring: something Wagner wrote occupying many LPs, see above.
Crabtree: Bit like a Rhubarb-tree, but an essential component of some Mains leads.
Leads: Police are looking for these after a succession of thefts from Dixons Stores all over Britain.
Replacement Leads. Evidence made up by the Police to excuse the lack of progress in the investigation just mentioned. Often a dubious diversion.
Transformer: A variety of toy that pleases young children.
Earth: Where plants grow.
Electricity (see mains): Not used in the acoustic gramophone. Comes in different forms; static, see above. AC and DC, though it is crucial to know the difference to avoid offending sensitive friends.
[Does anyone think that the music signal is in fact an irregular form of AC? It must be, really, or else the speakers would only travel in one direction, which might be uncomfortable, and ceratinly expesive. But if it is then how do you explain directionality?]
Directionality: The arrows on you speaker cable and connects. See previous point.
Watt: "Pardon, dear: It is more polite."
Separate Components: A way to annoy the wife.
Separate Power Supply Units [PSUs]: Doubles the effect mentioned above.
Music: An irrelevance, and not much discussed in Hifi circles.
A Good Recording: One that makes the Hifi sound splendid, even if the performers are deadly dull.
A Fine Performance: Required of a Hifi set to make the previously mentioned recording sound fine. Nothing will rescue the programme though.
Sound Engineer: Someone who manipulates the balances and tone of a master record till it becomes a parody of the performance the hits the Mike.
Mike [Parry]: Often good value in a funny sort of way!
Sorry, Mick. Where are you these days?Forum Administrator: Like the Police, never there when you want them, and always there when you make a fool of youself!
Mullet: A type of fish, a sort of hair-cut where the back is long and the front short, and a description of a Hifi set where the speaker cost ten times the sourrce and the amp three times.
Source: Usually Deck, or CD Player, [pronounced see dee for come reason, but probably not in foreign lands], Tape machine or Wireless. The source, it seems to me is is relay, or the recording, and even more correctly the music contained within this source, just to be serious for a nano-second.
Am I forgiven for the above diversion? All the best from Fredrik
quote:Originally posted by Fredrik_Fiske:
Imaging: All smoke and mirrors, an illusion and a false one at that...
Mono: More accurate than the above!
Fredrik
Now don't you start picking on our mate Blumlein! Or we'll have to send da boys round, innit?
Just think...if it hadn't been for Blumlein we wouldn't be here today. Another case of the good dying young. 
Fred i like your definition of 'Watt' - I'm always saying that to my daughter!
