True Truths 6�

When people drive along in whatever they're driving at the time with their music blaring loudly either through speakers or headphones, or conversing with other passangers, or to somebody else on the phone, do they have their eyes closed? Likewise, when grown adults skate, cycle, walk along the road doing the same thing, and get hit & killed by a vehicle crossing said road, do they have their eyes closed, or are they just FUCKING SELFISH STUPID IDIOTS?

This is not a real question, it's a fact, and all the emotional bleating on "until it happens again" won't alter that fact that they are/were FUCKING SELFISH STUPID IDIOTS, and that's just the sober ones, Good Grief


P.S. I do apologise to anybody out there who may find my language too strong for their senses here, but I emphasise that I use it in my view in context, and not just as wanton swearing, to forward the severity of the very 'avoidable' subject matter in hand, as any copper will no doubt feel too, though highly unlikely to er, say it on here, for fear of being deemed contraversial.

Dear Fritz,

With respect to people diverting themselves from the task of driving or pedestrianising, or even cycling I suppose, I cannot get too worried if they fail to survive, but I do have all the sympathy for those they take with them in the subsequent mayhem. On the other hand it is a risk to get out of bed, so I tend to take it easier than most concerning fateful early death. I saw a kid knocked down and killed in Hereford in 1978. I have seen enough dead farm animals not to be especially moved by a dead human. I think we sanitise death as a society, but it comes to us all in the end. The other time I saw a dead person was my English grandmother, who died just before I went to see her in the Ross Cottage Hospital. I have to say she looked totally at peace, dead aged 94, whereas the struggles of her last few days were definately not pleasant to watch.

Yes, we seem in the main to be in denial of death, and too morkish for words once it has happened.

Goodness that was serious for early Friday evening. I am off work because of a nasty thing that went sceptic at the very bottom of my spine. The doctor assured me that all the pain and inflamation is a sign that my immune system is on top form! I denied myself the prievelege of pain-killers and only bought the anti-biotics. I also declined the offer of a week's sick note!

Fredrik

Fredders me old Norske-Jam-boilin-Yuppie-you, I thank you kindly for your words there ( and most sincerely too, as I do actually find your classical music descriptions of recordings and performances to-date most inspiring 'generally'), but they unfortunately & quite frankly; simply DO NOT ADDRESS THE SUBJECT at hand here, irrespective of what you, I, and Tom Cobbly and all, may have unfortunately experienced & witnessed in the distant or near past. The relevant action/factor applies to the 'FUTURE-NOW', and the very (in my view) fairly simple measures to avoid such tragic repetition of 'Compis Mentis ?' responsible sober adults causing mayhem through blatant stupidity on 'Public Highways etc,' wether on foot or lucky enough to be driving 'legally' with valid insurance and licence old son, are simply mind-boggling, and I rest my case Sir and concur most respectfully, innit

Did you know a female swan is called a Pen?

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
Fredders me old Norske-Jam-boilin-Yuppie-you, I thank you kindly for your words there ( and most sincerely too, as I do actually find your classical music descriptions of recordings and performances to-date most inspiring 'generally'), but they unfortunately & quite frankly; simply DO NOT ADDRESS THE SUBJECT at hand here, irrespective of what you, I, and Tom Cobbly and all, may have unfortunately experienced & witnessed in the distant or near past. The relevant action/factor applies to the 'FUTURE-NOW', and the very (in my view) fairly simple measures to avoid such tragic repetition of 'Compis Mentis ?' responsible sober adults causing mayhem through blatant stupidity on 'Public Highways etc,' wether on foot or lucky enough to be driving 'legally' with valid insurance and licence old son, are simply mind-boggling, and I rest my case Sir and concur most respectfully, innit

Did you know a female swan is called a Pen?

Dear Fritz

Cobbs and Pens. I wonder if that the begining of the saying, "To have a Cob on him..." As an indication that he is in a raging fury... Swans are rather bad tempered and ceratinly strong enough to injure a human very badly.

As for the question in hand, and I take your point, I don't worry to much about the widespread prevalence of idiots. No law will alter it. Eugenics did not alter it, and this was practiced, controvercially, in Sweden into the '70s, let alone in other less civilised conditions. If some persons act foolishly and die, the only consideration for me is whether they takes others, bystanders not partaking in the stupidity, with them. I believe that in France it is not a requirement to pass a test to ride a small moped, and so presumably mortality is higher than it otherwise might be among idiots who cannot see how dangerous their inadequate moped riding is. The only pity is if they run into a bystander and kill THEM in my book. There are too many idiots and I see that their actions may occasionally help reduce their number. I am entirely neutral about that.

I am not in a grump, but not feeling 100% either, Fredrik

Fredders old Son, I ain't gotta Cob on honnist John! That really was a nice answer, and I too, have often wondered why British goverments of days past & present wasted so much taxpayers money, time, & effort on a missile system that can strike targets some 7,000 miles away, when Brussels and Paris are just over the oggin, innit?

I'm goin daan the auld boozer for refreshment and lernin from the local intelligencia (and coppers) , Goodnight Squire

Post Scrotum: Eine Gutes, und schnelles besserung wünsch ich dir auch naturlich, Johannes meine sohne: innit

Dear Fritz,

I was told this yesterday...

What do you get if cross a Motorway with a Wheelbarrow?
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Killed!

I laughed anyway!

All the best Fredrik

So Fritz,
West Brom tomorrow. Have you seen the Pardew interview in OLAS. Interesting reading
Bob

quote:

Originally posted by joe90:
I scored a copy of Len Deighton's 'Blitzkrieg' (non fiction) seconda hand for 50p. An excellent read - a real dummies guide to the battle of France 1940. Surprising to read how unfairly lopsided the battle was - the French and BEF could have really smacked the whole thing down had they pulled finger at the appropriate times...

Deighton's excellent, though I do find your latter comments totally misguided, and remind myself that 'once a squaddie, always an unqualified financial advisor' who thinks he/she knows best with other even more misguided folks wonga, innit.


'People are essentially stupid, and the more educated they deem themselves to be, the more stupid they get!' (I quote a fairly recent British PM, let's see who can guess which one?)

Dear Fritz,

Some of the people who would score the highest in an IQ Test, so lack common sense, that calling them thick would be perfectly reasonable.

As a matter of fact, I scored zero in the only IQ Test I ever had to do: I was thirteen and this was a school assessment. I don't think it worried anyone so much as me! I don't think it alllows me to claim I get by with pure common sense either. I just hate tests, and have occasionally managed absolutely spectacular failure in exams, even when I did know enough to get a reasonable result. I always find a deadline to complete work galvanises me, and allows for it to be as good as I can make it. Needless to say I did not do very well in School except for Maths! I was never nervous in Maths (as a youngster) - I used to think it was hardly work at all. This did not last, and when, in my late thirties, I did A-level Maths (and Physics and Electronics) I spectacularly fluffed several exams, so the eventual passes were all the more amazing to me. No use either, at least in getting a well paid job!

I am in terrible pain. The quack made me worse by trying to draw septiceaemia of my ex-bruise, when there was none left. I knew it and the whole thing was so awful last night I trembled with the pain, for over an hour till the pain-killer kicked in.

All the best from Fredrik

Great to hear that modern British 'Comedians' are still ripping off the good old classic gags to their pleasure! (sod originality eh!) though I suppose with the mental level and capacity of the average young Brit today, they'll soon be larfin at the canned larfter itself, just for the sake of it, and be watchin the repeats at Christmas with an even newer vigour, innit


My mates taking his 9 year old daughter to Berlins dog/cat home today to get themselves a new family member, I wonder if it'll be able to tell jokes as good as afore-mentioned gag artists, better even, who knows?


Essex!
although I like the Hammers very much; as with electrical audio/video/hifi/cars/cameras/coffee forcers/and general material possessions-various, I don't need to constantly discuss them with total strangers, plus all and sundrie, on internet fori, I'd rather do it in the pub face to face, if at all at all, innit Son

NOB:
This is a decent chap who knows his financial stuff allright and will see you straight, he's an old mate & colleague, years of experience, who needs silly old bits of paper eh? lives in Denmark though unfortunately, but you can trust him, he's a greeny into cycling and all that, would never dream of rippin you off, don't even like wearin ties so he doesn't, so he must be fair, eh?

Honnist! Now what's yer name love?

Yeah, My Grannie's just coming up to 85 too, what a co-incidence, Magic ! live on yer own do yer?


Good Moanin Fredders: Telemark comes to mind

Fredders old bean, as a sensible shoes suggestion to your present discomfort, I would say go for a gentle, slow, swim for as long as you can comfortably allow. This positive physical & psychological therapy, will allow you to rest and relax to a bit of music afterwards, and who knows, you might even be able to down some calves brains (brawn) on toast, as a prize brunch too?

Gently fried in Irish butter, garlic, chilli (optional) and field mushrooms (or raw), squeeze of fresh lemon, and a touch of sour cream.

tea optional! though a small snifter of decent scotch probably wouldn't go-amiss either; and will help contemplate the fact that 400 years ago that bastard nearly succeeded in putting Westminster into orbit (though of course Ministers were Democratically elected by a majority of the Nation in those days, unlike today's farce), even squaddies could vote, so long as it was Tory, obviously


Wigs are known as syrups in Cockney slang, ask Our Nime, he'll translate it into Welsh too Boyo:

Are the Welsh & Russians the only Nations born to be automatically depressive and hard done by ?


N.B. I'm having Chicken fried in olive oil for brunch, with Thai sweet chilli sauce, and a very decent Claret (sorry to bragg), then I'll probably go for a 5 mile run to make way for the serious stuff later:

As an afterthought Fredders, your wheelbarrow joke wasn't too bad actually, though I personally would have answered the Archers?


With that culinary masterwork I mentioned afore, I forgot to sum it up with a finger twist of fresh basil (instead of salt) and a whisper of fresh sage, for the old tummy lining, innit



Walnuts for winter too: (prevent the oncoming of Alzheimers + regular mental activity, like a second language for instance) and lots of V B12 to-boot.

Paris, etc looks rough dunnit? & Parry's in bloody Egypt!

Dear Fritz,

I am a solitary creature, who enjoys company on my oon terms, and am lucky enough to have a handfull of really good friends. I hate crowds too. Anyhow anyone living with me would have to accept a menage a trois; Music, being my real partner!

Ther is something quite solitary about the Norse too I think.

I enjoyed a nice little half of a bottle of Orvietto Classico last evening, which no doubt had worn off by four when I woke up in pain.

On Guy F, I just wonder why it not somuch bonfire nught as fireworks month; I think of all the dogs who get freaked out by the all the bangs, and they are not the little pops of a few years ago! My old dog, a Welsh Collie, and a fantastic working sheep dog as well as a very affectionate creature, was only frightened of one thing - unexplained bangs. He seemed immune to shot guns shooting crows or pheasants, but fireworks often meant he would creep into my chair and try to squeeze behind me so that he would almost disappear. One day I found the poor old sod Under the cushions of my sofa. That is fear. I think they should be banned except on the very 5th of November...

All the best from Fredrik

CHICKEN AT A CHINESE RESTAURANT







A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.


"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.


He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.


Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.


"Please," says the waiter, "what you order?"


The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."


You're going to love this....................





Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck"

They're Truly only Angels when they have another home to go to, innit:


Goodnight, Bark

Yes Fredders! Collies are wonderful creatures, as well as having the advantage of making arrogant dumm-arse farmers look intelligent (especially Welsh ones), I have a rendevue with a fox terrier tommorow, we're off to visit some local wild pigs strangely enough:



Customer: "Right, this computer's gone all crazy. It's blinking, beeping,
and doing all sorts of stuff!"

Tech Support: "What were you doing with the computer at the time?"

Customer: "I was dusting it."


Having celebrated previous 5th's in Kuala Lumpa, Antigua, Perth, Berlin, and Essex, I think my antics as a young street urchin in East London, collecting a penny for the Guy, pale into insignificance these days John, innit


Goodnight: I'll take a rain check on the run I think

Unless one actually 'legally' proves otherwise; here in Germany 'Church Tax 'is compulsory (as in other European countries too) 'irrespective of which religion' and is deducted from source (inc, dole money), I wonder if an ID tax should be imposed! and how the UK will feel when such a 'Golden cycle-Brownesque' proposition is installed in the first test-zone (Swindon) or Glasgow/Cliverpool?



P.S. For those of you out there who think I jest, please enjoy the lull afore the storm, because Poll Tax was nothing compared to this little 'Civil War' inducer, innit



He who dares! get's run over

I think we should all in the West of Europe aim to get to a true flat rate tax system such as they have in some of the old Eastern States.

And the personal allowance should be set rather higher now so that those in very low or legal minimum wages are more or less free of Income Tax, as these very low wages are not sufficinet to cover the fixed costs of life let alone allow for decent food, and so. How do famillies survive on 200 GBP gross, before tax and Natonal Insurance? It beats me, as it is nigh impossible for me on my own. I am spending practically every spare penny on petrol to get to work as work at the moment is not so near to home as it might be. If the car breaks, then I am stuffed...

I am sure Gordon Brown will think of a way of taxing the air we breath if this gov't is left there for another term...

Fredrik

Perhaps" Fredders, in that unfortunate eventuality, you'll maybe have to diversify from Jams, into Pickle?

Well I'll be Beavered!

I was seriously shocked at watching news of a British woman earlier on TV who'd had both of her (perfectly healthy) breasts removed through fear of cancer, and early death. Although having lost other members of her family through breast cancer, and the fact that it's very likely genetically inherited, I believe it's also well known that it can be successfully curbed when found early enough, as well as, really minimising the chances of getting it through failry simple methods, like change of diet/lifestyle for instance! The bottom line of my surprise; I think relates more to the actual surgeon/Doctor who carried out the operation, which I'm sure in many other professionals eyes would be seen as rather drastic, if in fact not against the law?


Taking paranoia too far possibly!

I saw a rather nice light blue bespoke suit earlier prancing down the road, with pink chalkline pinstripes, a yellow ochre round collared shirt, and finely knotted mauve silk tie to-boot. Conservative Conservative! I thought to myself, must be one of those financial advisor folk on a mission, or a Kiwi possibly, lost in space, innit?

Dear Fritz,

How provincial I am! Thta dress would indeed NOT be the Konservative garb in Hereford! Mind you, I am not sure many here would want a financial wizz-kid to make the same mistakes we can all make FOC! Hereford has never been a rich city, but never poor either.

Just been listening to Hoffnung in the Brick-layer sketch... Lorh... double entendre was better in the old days...

All the best from Fredrik

PS: been asked to supper tonight, so I guess being filled with of anti-biotics and pain-killers has its benefits.

Peeking duck - groan

Dear Fritz,

Unless I am better than this tomorrow, not only am I not going to work, but I am going to see the quack again. Not good. I went out for supper this evening, and went straight to sleep for about three hours on the settee. That is not really acceptible is it?...

Fredrik

I'm sure it'll surprise many that quite often folk fall asleep on couches in my company too, especially when I attempt to start telling jokes, or mention that I post on internet forums?

Good luck Fredders, possibly some juniper conserve avec scones may help?


P.S. Everybody knows that good news simply doesn't sell papers, obvious innit Tom