True Truths 6�

"I didn't know that Rolf Harris had once played for Chelsea?"


Der fings wot wun duzz lern on ear iz amasin, summteims, innit

Well dodgey geezer, must be his name I reckon!!!

quote:

Originally posted by hungryhalibut:

quote:

Mabel is his dead wife's mother

But how long will it be until Mabel and Auntie Satya become best of friends and condone the inevitable marriage of the Vicar and Usha Gupta?

Nigel

Not related to the Par-jitters are you John?

quote:

Originally posted by Tony Lockhart:
Now that 3 weeks or so have passed, I feel I can pass on the story without giving myself nightmares.

We were on a morning game drive, me, my wife and the guide David. David was a very cool Maasi, and a top guide. As is usual during a long drive, I needed a wee. The Selous is twice the size of Wales, more interesting, friendlier, but has no public toilets.... so bush or tree it has to be. David stopped the Land Rover and pointed out a convenient tree 10 yards behind the vehicle.

So, out of the Landy I popped and made my way over to the tree, trusting David's decision blindly. I was just about to un-zip when I heard a noisy rustling in some bushes 20 odd yards away. I looked up just in time to see a fully grown male lion leaping out! Thankfully away from me! I was a bit stunned for a few seconds, then turned to David and Joanna and in a childish tone said "LION!". "We know!", they replied, "Get in the car....."

I did, quickly.

We managed to find the beasty a couple of minutes later. Sorry about the picture quality, but here he is. All teeth and muscles of him:

*** Clarence ***********************

Tony

ps. Safari anyone?

OK Chaps, Let me run this one past you Yah! I probably would have pissed myself OK.


I wonder if Our Micks getting danger money roughing it in Egypt, like he does when he travels to big old London?

Having just this minute finished watching a rather excellent BBC Hardtalk set; interviewing Hong Kong's present Chief Executive 'Donald Zang', I was truly impressed & surprised by the individual's brilliance and logic, and thought to myself, how nice it would be if Europe had a few of his ilk here and there to enforce & refresh current laws protecting Citizens rights, etc, just as a starter for 10. Such clever & informed open-debate almost reminded me of this Padded Cell on 'occassion' and who knows! maybe such magic moments may even occur once or twice again in the not too distant future, innit?


I concur dunn i


P.S. Wot's 'universal sufferage' mean then, does anybody dare to admit to knowing, cos I duzznee?

"4N
Member
Posted Mon 30 December 2002 22:01
Given that my memory is not what it used to be(I'm know in my 30's), what joke's can you offer that may have a chance of being remembered,
cheer's Alan"


Now wasn't there one old sweet chestnut about a Chinese dog?


P.S. Uniwersal Suffrage is apparently an old MGM saying!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Stephen Tate:
I have a black honda s2000 Whips most things on the road including sports bikes, i gave a honda vfr 750 a race the other day it was amusing when the rider took off and then turned round only to see me up his arse and still changing gear at 120mph. superb cars!
It's a drivers car.

regards,

Steve, Me old choker, assuming that you and the other chaps are not just imaginatively living out Clarksonesque wet dreams on internet fori, and that you do also have a beer of five & a number afore hitting the public highways with a vengeance to prove how totesterone really does create real men (en-route to Brands etc, and you don't refer to Land Rovers as Landy's naturally), I wish you all the best of luck Squire, especially with your newly promised promotion to Inspector, innit


Let's face it members of the public just wouldn't get away with it, innit

quote:

Originally posted by andy c:
Tony,
I have saved the links you have posted. thank you very much.

regards

andy.

a small i; surely Our Andy?


Lucky old Deano wasn't confronted with all that abortion talk on British TV today, terrible subject, shouldn't be allowed, innit!!!

Does Our Nime's silence mean that he's still pretending to be Danish! or does it mean he just ain't got nuffink useful to say for once

Probably out on the piss still

N.B. Just found some very light 'but still enjoyable' reading in my mess of books, namely 'And then there were none' by Agatha C, originally known as "10 little Ni**ers" but quite rightly later changed, as the times themselves 'politically correctness-wise at least' have changed for the better too, though many on here I'm sure would not agree, going by past posts, in respect of people taking PC too far! (but that's another issue entirely I feel).
I mentioned once on here (not wishing to brag again, but will anyway regardless) that on my first girlfriend 'Eve' and my 18th birthday (same day) many moons afore, we both sat together watching the 500th performance of the Mousetrap in the great Theatre itself, when it was announced half way through, that the Lady had just died, the Show, Naturally went on, though plenty of silent chatter ensued in those cosy ancient bars, I can tell you, dinnit

Pyramid scheming is strangely enough still not illegal here, though like in UK I expect most folk are wised up to smart alecs anyway, when it comes to their savings, etc, innit


I remember my Grandmother many moons afore getting ripped off by such a nice chap (family friend etc too) who invested my Grandfathers mint collection of Red Cross stamps for her, that he'd accumilated over the years whilst in the RN as an investemnt as well as a passion. The 'financial advisor' who got her (50% of their real S-Gibbons worth) was an ex DCI in the Hampshire Constabulary (or was it Sussex?) and naturally broke no laws in the process.

It couldn't happen today I think, as they're all well qualified (circa A level standard), and belong to a national body that's been around for nearly 6 years now, so that's allright then, innit, Mickey Mouse, who's he?


Don't people dare question this, take it for granted, and put your life savings etc, into the hands of strangers (7000 ish in UK today), you know it makes sense, and they all dress so smartly, and look so clean too, sign here Luv, Yes, that's the ticket, don't worry about the small print that's just the usual old woffle

I wonder if all the Tax scams (openly readable on the net (Those declared that is) allowed by Our Gordon to large British & Other PFI Firms etc, in off-setting their personell costs, NI etc, well known in Scotland for instance, meaning State picks up tab twice)(not counted as official Debt figures either) (outside UK), are also classed as 'outside of the UK, as commonly practiced by British IFA's?' & Mick no doubt too! to tax havens, or is this just my imagination? and what's good enough for the goose, is nobody elses business? (even though it is, and very much so our business, while in reality you are off ripping the Country, as well as 'daft clients, who should know more betterer ?) and are breaking no laws naturally into the 'bargain', so that's allright then, perfick, innit



Two pints of yer best Brasso please John, and have whatever you're drinking yoursen too Sir! Oh and put this tenner in the 'Charity Box' for me will you, there's a luv, Phew! I feel so much better now I've done my bit for the needy


N.B. As is possibly known? I am no angel! and do not profess to be, and anybody deserves to make a buck, however they deem fit I feel, and when naive, greedy/daft folk get ripped off, that's tough, and their hard luck, hopefully not getting bitten twice. What I do personally 'despise' though, (Our Nimes fave word of late) is sheer 'Holier than Though Hypocrisy²', often said by me as my greatest fiend, ignored at all costs by most, and the sharks get the next shoal of dozy minnows in the moaning, let's just hope they can sleep OK without sinking and drowning eh?, because that silly old saying, and pooh-pood by most, I feel really shouldn't be laughed upon, in that what goes around really does come around, dunnit

quote:

Originally posted by Steve G:
At the risk of being crude I suspect that a no.1 toilet stop would have rapidly become a no.2 toilet stop had a lion jumped out of a bush anywhere near me!

And there's me thinking you felt yer might have shit yourself!

It's all in the numbers you see Jimmy, or is it a riddle of modern English?


And on the subject of talking shite, as many of you (or all three of you even !) no doubt think I do most of the time, I'll bid you chaps & chapessess adieu:


Goodnight

I've personally had the privelege of working closely together over the years with both certified engineers and electricians, etc, and I must say, that if they actually weren't certified at the time, then they certainly should have been eventually, Ha hahahahaha ( but only in Italy of course)

People who genuinely solve problems, and efficiently do their work are great folk!" in great contrast to those that pretend endlessly to know everything, and avoid what they don't know, bore all and sundrie eternally by duckin + a'bullshittin² chaps with 'science' non-stop, and somehow finally and 'dangerously' imho get into positions of serious power (for some reason or other, wether political or academic), innit



You voted them in, you pay the bills, so you call the shots innit

I've got 17th Century lead wiring myself, so there's never been a problem with the old surges (cept the Russian ones that is?) and me good old (oil insulated) woltage wegulator still knocks out a beltin steady finger too, dunnit


Yawnin Yawnin

There narf bin some clever bar-Stewards:


N.B. As with Glasgow, Liverpool, and Swindon to-boot, I'll have no Copper in my house

And finally (again) let's hope that Our Fredders has a jammy recovery too, innit

re-serge-ant (small fry Bow Street Runner from Moscow?)

Berliners put jam in their 'doughnuts' (also known as Berliners, 'AKA JFK') at New Year (Sylvester), and 1% of the lucky ones get a mouthfull of firery mustard instead of Jam, and I'm telling you, it's quite a shock t'be sure, so it is !!!

QUOTE]Originally posted by MichaelC:
It's interesting times in our household. My five year-old sin has developed a habit of sleepwalking.

He has quite often, in recent months, uncontrollable crying/ screaming fits. I understand that you should not try and wake a child in this instance but simply comfort them as best as possible until they settle. This can take 20 minutes or so.

More recently (past two weeks or so) sleepwalking has become the thing. I have just redirected my son from a bedroom where he was trying to go to the toilet (!) to the toilet itself. Settled in no time after doing his business.

By comparison my daughter did not go through this phase. The joys of children.[/QUOTE]

I would suggest you talk to your GP about it asap, and not on here, or listen to gossip from family members etc, however sincere they may be/seem. I have come across it in many situs, with adults & kids, and it must be addressed at some point. Just talking to the individual is fine ( never attempt to wake them up, as the shock aspect can be problematic/traumatic) and don't assume there'll always be somebody around to guide them etc (wherever they might be walking?), ie, talk to your GP, and not on here.


Good luck to your sin naturally too Jóhn


Can't bloody sleep mesen actaully:

Dear Fritz and Friends,

I am better again! Last night, very frustrated by it I rubbed salt into it, trembled for thirty seconds and soaked it in the bath again. Today, no pain and I feel alive again. I don't suppose anything a doctor woul;d be prepared to prescribe would be either as painful or as effective. I really did wonder how it would turn out as I felt SO bad.

So watch out as I tormented the poor QA girls something cronic this evening!

All the best from Fredrik

That's excellent news Our Fredders, bit of half deaf Mozart and a decent heiß-toddy will do the trick most likely! Just remember too! Lord Hereford's nob's freezing out there at this very moment, without a medicinal rub in sight either no doubt, poor thing, innit

Happy 40th Birthday to the Chief today as well! and I didn't know that Harry Potter is a distant distant relative of Mary Magdelaine, did you? There again, I doubt if many would:

Good call Fritz

Of course during the Arpartheid era 90 days without charge was a symbolic reality, soon to be followed by another 90 days + + after Mickey Mouse Judicial rewiews to 'legally' permit their use. Fortunately now in the UK; if and when new 90 day proposals are implimented as a result of the PM's 'mindless bleating', and Lords over-turning, as well as arrogantly ignoring the fact that one doesn't require legal training & education to see the bleedin obvious staring one in the boat, we can only think ourselves lucky I suppose that the many various Police forces throughout the Kingdom do not actually rule the roost, and call the shots as much as they'd possibly like to, innit


Goodnight all:

I've got a job interview tommorow, of which if I'm successful in, I'll have the dubious honour of earning �1,50 an hour 'fulltime' for the next nine months, as well as having to supply my own bus/train ticket �70 a month. It will be a nice slave-away for the new Fatherland, or should I say Motherland, and will put a big smile on folks like Our Micks faces, who honestly believe in their heart of hearts that they know what real work is all about, unlike lay about dole-scroungers like myself, innit


P.S. My insurances, medical/pension/and tax, will be deducted, and my rent paid, the rest is all pocket money, in fact less than I actually recieve at present for my heat & daily bread, good that innit, I'm glad I'm not unemployed in the UK, and that's a fact.

N.B. I can't refuse this job 'If offered' without good reason (most folk scive off on some bad-back style medical bullshit), this is 'socially orientated' again, ie, work nobody else wants to do, and cutting wages of fully qualified trained staff (nurses etc) through agencies, to make 'profit at the States expense' in Our Micks 'fair Playing field stakes', Great! What


Plus I'll enjoy 3 hours a day commuting, what fun�

As some afterthoughts on above 'Whinge', my last job allowed me to walk there and back daily, some 5kms each way, and a nice bit of excercise before and after sitting at a screen all day, as well as saving quite a bit of booze dosh.(cycling is unfortunately not an option as there's no safe place to keep it, as I'm always on the move, and it will simply get nicked, lot's of financial immigrants from UK living in that area). Interestingly enough; I recall Our Nime freaking out when I mentioned to Our recently retired RAF chappy wanting to know how to invest his redundency dosh on here, that he would obviously have to declare it, if he wanted to sign on the old Nat King Cole )(UK's Job seekers agreement and all that)(as you do). Our Mick has on numerous occassions in between boasting about his ownership of various properties, other valuable worldly goods, and not forgetting some 100 bottles of top-notch booze (malt) too naturally, and why not I ask myself?. He pointed out that he had to retire early (for medical reasons), but is now happily fit again, and telling the world that he's earning a crust as a Consultant, helped merrily along by his pals down at the lodge. Normally I'd say, what the hell has it got to do with me, and it's none of my damned business, but as Our Mick (Padded Cell entity called Mick) has made it public, and often, I feel it pertinent to comment upon. I question, through his great moral stance, if he indeed still draws his pension on top of his new wages (as here, especially so young a man would after a miracle recovery be required to be pronounced working-fit again) and previous pension scenarios reviewed, I rest my case, lest I be called a hypocrite, innit

Everyman has his/her price obviously

Sad to hear about John Fowles death yesterday, he was 'in my opinion' a Great writer, and I read all of his work through the years with much enjoyment. Try him out sometime, but only when you feel it's fashionable to do so, or am I being too negative here again, Doh?

Dear Fritz,

What is this job? What will you be actually doing? Tell me to mind my own business if you like; I won't be offended. It is odd, because I have always had to do jobs I did not particularly like, but somehow I always just seem to do it. Personally I would love to win the lottery, buy an isolated house in the country (west Herefordshire), sell the car - use a taxi when necessary - and get my grocery delivered! It would be bliss. I would have a horse, two or three dogs, a few sheep and chickens (if there was a small patch of ground), and also cut my own firewood. The world could bug--- off except on my own terms! I think most only actually slave for others because they have to. Maybe I could indulge my ideas to invent a few I ideas I have, if I had the time.

All the best, and I hope it is not too awful. Mind I would trade sitting in front of a computer for slogging away making sauces or blooming icing paste. I might be transferring back to the label room after Christmas, which should be a good thing, if I can teach them manners again!

Good luck in every sense, from Fredrik

Fredders me old China, there will be no computers or sitting around in this job at all at all, and I really must emphasise again that one simply cannot compare UK to here as regards ' legal' jobs, and in the UK I simply wouldn't be unemployed; but choose to live here, so must play the game as it were. I will be working with old/poor and fucked up people (I have experience) who gradually grind one down mentally & phsically with their negativity & woes, similar to internet forum wallers without a life? Psychologically blackmailing one in all sorts of little ways, and in an environment where the firm itself is very lowly motivated, the rest you can no doubt guess!

Having also done this work before voluntarily in short stints, I know I would never want to do it full-time, otherwise I would have trained to do so long ago (and not for the money obviously either). Self-Employed highly motivated (By either job satisfaction or good old greed, or both) People so often compare all
other jobs as the same (including those folk they employ on pitiful wages) always following up, with the usual, 'but I take all the risks here folks!' As I've said on here afore Fredders, I'll gladly work for free (to pay something back into the system so to speak) so long as I'm legal and insured, and can pay my rent, with the minimum €8 a day that I now live on for all other bills etc, to survive with, this is not a moan, just a fact


Our Mick calls it the free market, I call it 'Use & Abuse' .

P.S. I could earn, and work black tommorow, but choose not to for reasons of priciple, cowardice, and self-respect, how's that for starters, plus my CV's some 3 inches thick & getting thicker with irellevant rubbish?

PMQ's now methinks!