What Hi*fi? and their review of JM Lab 816s (part 2)
Posted by: Steve Toy on 01 September 2001
Rookie reviewer, recently promoted from the Sun: Yeah, sure, wassa matter?
Mr. Clough: That review of 816s that went into last months issue...
Rookie: And....? You told me you wanted me to say the complete opposite of what is actually true.
Mr. Clough: Yes, yes! You did a damn fine job of it too my son, but I've been thinking...
Rookie: [with baited breath...] What?
Mr. Clough: It wasn't wrong enough!
Rookie: What d'ya mean it wasn't wrong enough?!
Mr. Clough: Simple, I want you to do another review of it in this month's Supertest No. 303, only even more wrong than last month's First Test!
Rookie: OK, I'll give it a whirl!
---Ten minutes later, and the entire Superdoopertest duly completed...---
Rookie: What do you reckon now?
Mr. Clough: Let's have a look...
"For: Smooth and refined presentation" Spot on there son, couldn't be further from the truth, just what I wanted!
"Not the most exciting performers around." Nicely put, mate!!!
"Smooth treble and rich tonal balance" Hahahahaha!!!! [falling off his swivel chair with mirth and merriment]
"The low frequencies could do with more drive too..."
I tell ya, ya really got me there; this is f*cking brilliant mate!
"While timing isn't as precise as it should be."
Bloody hell, Rookie, you haven't missed a trick have you - they time like the proverbial metronome!!!!!"
Rookie: Well, it was what you asked for. Only one thing though, why write a review which is the total opposite to the real description of the performance of a loudspeaker? ....just wondering, that's all.
Mr. Clough: Because I'm sick and tired of people buying hi-fi gear purely on the strength of our reviews. If they don't audition stuff themselves first, they deserve to be misled. Now you know we tell people to go and listen for themslves! If they miss out on a great speaker like this one, 'cos they only read our comic, then that's their look out, that's what I say!!!
Rookie: But some people buy our magazine simply because they haven't got time to go round dealers doing exhaustive and exhausting dems. Also, has it not got anything to do with being nice to our advertisers?
Mr. Clough: How DARE you say that!!!! Or even suggest it... just as I was about to promote you to Deputy Assistant Editor an' all...
It's always a nice day for it, have a good one
Steve
[This message was edited by Steven Toy on SATURDAY 01 September 2001 at 17:52.]
[This message was edited by Steven Toy on SUNDAY 02 September 2001 at 03:46.]