The woeful state of the English language

Everyone knows how poor my typing is, but for me this is where its gone really bad.

But stand back further and I found out a shocking truth the other week. I can no longer write! Seriously I had to write a page of stuff and was knackered about half way down, and not even I could read it back.

Is this the way of things now though? Is this inevitable?

I love new words though. My understand of growler was a womans biff. At least that is how Bo Selecta coined it.

growler. n. four wheeled -cab; type of fish; small iceberg.

I only knew about the "small iceberg" definition.

Real English is such a splendid thing without the need to spoil it with adulterations. Why say something is "well cool," when " really fine" would be nice on every level?

ATB from Fredrik

Because, Fredrik, every generation derives its own jargon/patois.

I thought a growler was an unhappy bear

The real problem with the richness of the evolving English language is ending an evening performing cunnilingus on a small iceberg.

Regards,

Willy.

quote:

Originally posted by Bruce Woodhouse:
It is the creeping invasion of 'Microsoft English' that brings out the curmudgeon in me. My secretary has realized she must not sneak in any 'z''s where 's' should be for example.
Bruce

Bruce, it is not simply from Microsoft, but from the USA in generel. Beware, the Yanks are taking over

Smell chuckers are uzfool two.

There's a lot of irony to be found in the drab state of the English language being a topic of discussion on this forum...

pjt - i got news for ya baby, we already took over. and it's not a pretty sight ....

And as for textspeak.....

CUL8R

quote:

Originally posted by garyi:
Everyone knows how poor my typing is, but for me this is where its gone really bad.

But stand back further and I found out a shocking truth the other week. I can no longer write! Seriously I had to write a page of stuff and was knackered about half way down, and not even I could read it back.

Congratulations! You are now a GP.

quote:

Originally posted by fidelio:
one of my favorite places to find Really Bad English is in real estate ads.

Too right. Reception room(s). wft is one of those when its at home.

/dl

Can't see the problem with Reception room personally - it's where you watch the telly.

It always bothered me that Bedroom & Bathroom is one word but Living Room or Dining Room are two. I also find that people will not believe that the plural of roof is roofs, not rooves!
I have an architect colleague who continues to use "cloakroom" on his drawings. I keep telling him that since the Victorian era we generally have coats.
My personal pet hate is "fell" or "fall" pregnant, as though becoming pregnant still makes a fallen woman. It amazes me that it is mostly used by women.

I like Menagerie. It's where I keep me naggers.

four reasons why I could not work in a cafe.

'Can I get a coffee to go'

'Can I get a doughnut'

'I'll have one of them'

'Can I get a ham sandwich on brown please'

Hearing that all day would drive me nuts.

Rasher

Antelope - to run off with your mother's sister...
(Uxbridge Dictionary)

Yes, that annoys me too. When I hear "Can I get..." I want to hear in reply "Yes, go and get it then". In truth though it's probably not more wronger than "Please may I have..." because you could reply "Yes, you can have it, but you'll need to buy it first". So that leaves you with "Please would you sell me..." which is ridiculous every time you go shopping.

And I suppose the same goes for "I would like to buy...."

It's funny that what we often regard as proper is often technically incorrect.

Having moved to the other side of the world, although not I hasten to add in search of better usage of the English language, I am amazed at the new words, or pronunciations, that I come across on an almost daily basis. A couple from opposite ends of my personal acceptance scale...

- Saturday seems to be universally pronounced as Sat'day
- when something isn't very good, it is described as being shithouse, which I think is a lovely phrase


Regards, Jon

After reading this lot I'm all forummed-out.

growler has another meaning *cough* down-under too (pun intended)

Some new words are wonderfully descriptive

"Testiculating" .....Waving your arms around and talking bollocks

"Blamestorming"....."A meeting to discuss why a deadline was missed and who was responsible"

"Ohnosecond"....that brief fraction of a second when you just realised you F****D up big time

quote:

Originally posted by Colin Lorenson:
Some new words are wonderfully descriptive

"Testiculating" .....Waving your arms around and talking bollocks

"Blamestorming"....."A meeting to discuss why a deadline was missed and who was responsible"

"Ohnosecond"....that brief fraction of a second when you just realised you F****D up big time

You didn't by any chance work for the company I do at sometime in the past did you?

I saw a tour party coach the other day with 'destination management' written on the side.