Dealing with kids

Patience is a virtue. Ignore her completely, when she cant get a reaction out of you she will move on to someone else.

Fisbey,

Here's me thinking drama was a key that unlocks.

Beano would find out what lights the kids fire!

Uzi?

quote:

Originally posted by acad tsunami:
Patience is a virtue. Ignore her completely, when she cant get a reaction out of you she will move on to someone else.

That might be underestimating the abilities of the child. Presumeably she has a technique for being ignored - carefully honed on her parents...

quote:

Originally posted by BigH47:
Uzi?

Leaves one hand free for other things too...

This maybe worth a go.
Talk to her openly in front of some/all of the drama group. Ask her open questions (ie ones that she can't just answer yes/no/I dunno to). Be honest with her, eg ask her how she thinks she makes you feel, what have you done to make her act like this towards you & so on. Make sure there are witnesses. Even if you don't get her to repent/change her ways,(you probably won't) you might have made her think, & have also taken the adult/moral high ground, which others have witnessed, just in case it goes further down-hill in the future.
It may well feel awkward/artificial, but you are the adult,so use adult techniques.
matt.

I like children but I couldn't eat a whole one

Q. What do you when a child spits at you?
A. Turn the oven down.

Seriously, I've no kids and to be honest I don't like them. But for small children I just treat them like adults - thats when you find out what a problem the parents are.

quote:

Originally posted by Deane F:

quote:

Originally posted by acad tsunami:
Patience is a virtue. Ignore her completely, when she cant get a reaction out of you she will move on to someone else.

That might be underestimating the abilities of the child. Presumeably she has a technique for being ignored - carefully honed on her parents...

Actually there is little a child hates more than being ignored - in the short term they can kick up a real fuss but if they are NOT rewarded for this behaviour they will change. I often see unwitting (and well intentioned) parent rewarding bad behaviour and they think its all the kids fault. Its nearly always the parents fault imo.

The problem certainly lies with the parent/s and the child is just behaving in the way that she has been brought up to behave, or has been made into who she is.
Just talk to her as you would anyone else - adult or child. You don't have to like her, but it would probably make things easier if you tried to not dislike her. Try and remember that it probably isn't her fault, treat her with respect, and maybe she'll respond.

Mmmmm

I have to admit there is a personal element here (I'm somewhat sensitive at times, especially with children) which I can't overlook, I think this is the only thing in reality that I can alter, bearing in mind this particular childs mother had the theatre director up against a wall when her child 'wasn't getting the part she wanted'...

Not a nice situation at all....

So it really does sound as if the child needs a friend more than anything with a mother like that. Poor kid. Maybe this is an opportunity for you to help her function socially and in return she may help you get over your problem with children.
Funny how it all works out sometimes, almost as though there was a method to this madness ( ) .

Fisbey, No surprise here. Show me a problem child and I will show you a problem parent.

Maybe Rasher, I'll try it.

By the way I don't have a problem with all children - the others at the group I get on very well with.

Did the mother have the theatre director up against the wall in a good way...?

I've two daughters aged 11 and 14 and neither respond particularly well to being disciplined in an adult way. If I'm prescriptive and highlight behavioral traits that I'd like to see modified they will either accept the argument only to do the self-same thing hours later, or they'll argue a spurious point, which leads to the "adult’s" frustration at having to underline a simple point time and again.

Scenario 1

“Don’t tease the dog, it makes him excited and he charges around and he knocks things over”
“But why not, he’s wagging his tail?”
“Because he’s just head butted the coffee table and knocked the candle over”
“But he’s wagging his tail…”
“Darling, you know daddy gets a little cranky when he’s jumping around near the stereo…”

You know at this point the line between adult rationale and blathering idiot are beginning to blur...hence

Scenario 2

Adult loses rag and rational argument is out of the window replaced by such shouted logic as “Because I said so!” But their response is immediate and usually lasts for days. Unfortunately, said "adult" tends to feels a complete pr*ck and spends a small fortune on sweets and chocolate to make up for being a miserable old git...

Kids tend to live in the moment, what’s imperative one minute is forgotten the next. Don’t take it to heart, stay calm and don’t let it affect you or your the enjoyment of the class...easier said than done, I know.

Dave

quote:

But for small children I just treat them like adults - thats when you find out what a problem the parents are.

Thats where most go wrong, children do not have the mental capacity of adults and shouldn't be treated in that way.

Always treat them as children and remember they don't nderstand something until someone tells them. They don't come pre programed we have to teach them what is right and wrong.

Remember you are the adult and should always take control,

regards

PB

PS who is crap with children

quote:

but there is a girl (about 9 years old) at a drama group I frequent who is an absolute nightmare and seems to have 'picked me out' for treatment. It may sound silly but she is really doing my head in. I'm not sure I've ever come across such a nasty child.

Get the authority of the group to tell her to stop, publically if possible.
A little public humiliation would do her good, as it's better to act like a prat at 9 and have it nipped in the bud than having to go through therapy at 30 cause everyone avoids her.

If you are not the authority and she realises it, you're obviously stuffed, so don't try.

My children don't try anything on, because they realise I am the authority and what I say goes.

Win the war, don't worry about the battles...