What is the worst song ever?

Posted by: woodface on 13 November 2001

My vote goes to the amazingly banal 'Heart' with 'All I wanna do is make love to you'. Heard it on the radio today and was reminded just how bad ,lyrically, a song can be. 'He brought the woman out of me, many times, easily' is just one of the many lowlights!
Posted on: 13 November 2001 by bob atherton
I don't think this will qualify as a song but the 'singing' on Steve Howe's (of YES fame) solo album, Beginnings, takes some beating. I think these are the worst vocals I've ever heard & I'm a big YES fan!

Bob.

Posted on: 13 November 2001 by Mike Hanson
The worst song ever: "Just Like That Old Time Rock'n'Roll" by Bob Seger. It sends me dashing from the room, post haste.

-=> Mike Hanson <=-

Posted on: 13 November 2001 by garyi
Anything by Celin Dion, I am forced to listen to her everytime I order from the butcher, (the telephone hold music)
Its enough I have to wait 15 mins to give my butcher money for his continued survival, but to have Dion scretching at me in that time is tantamount to torture. I believe she should be scrubbed out.

rant over.

Posted on: 13 November 2001 by Mike Sae
Can't choose between:

Celine Dion/Sinatra duet "All the Way"- he would never have allowed that.


Cher "Do You Believe"


Heart "Barracuda"

Hell, make that the entire discographies of Cher, Celine Dion and Heart.

Posted on: 13 November 2001 by Todd A
I saw Mike's mention of Bob Seger and completely agree. I would also like to add all other songs by Bob Seger. And Peter Frampton. And Edgar Winters. And the often mentioned Celine Dion. And Bad Company. And Paula Abdul. And above all, everything ever performed by Air Supply.

I assume we're all completely ignoring Disco as well.

Posted on: 13 November 2001 by JohnS
"Shut Up-A Your Face" by Joe Dolce which also spawned some nasty bumper stickers; and

"Grandma" by the St Winnifred's School Choir (and the fact that I remember their name means I am sooo far from getting closure with that).

Some novelty songs were actually quite good - e.g. "Dizzy" by Vic Reeves and the Wonderstuff

-John

Posted on: 13 November 2001 by Giles Felgate
I nominate anything by Leonard Nimoy from any one of half a dozen albums from the sixties, particularly his version of Proud Mary (timing, phrasing, tune, all irrelevant to Mr Spock!). If you want to hear other really (and I mean really) crap songs, check out the Rhino Records compilations Golden Throats 1 & 2. I would also nominate William Shatner's Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds & Mr Tamborine Man but they're just too hysterical to include. Oh and definitely ditto on Celine Dion!

Giless

Posted on: 13 November 2001 by jcc
Yoko eek red face confused
Posted on: 13 November 2001 by redeye
Ebony and Ivory by Stevie Wonder & Macca. In fact pretty much all of macca's post Fabs output.
Jeeesus I hate that song though
Posted on: 14 November 2001 by Thomas K
quote:
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you

Yes, I remember realising this in the back of my parents’ car (er, not what you think … they were there too) when I was 11 or 12, on those horribly long rides to wherever. What a stupid line.

Judas Priest, “Breaking the Law” always makes me laugh.

Thomas

Posted on: 14 November 2001 by Stephen Bennett
'When you're in love with a beautiful woman - It's hard'

Well I should hope so, for both your sakes

Steve Howes vocals are only beaten in badness by Steve Hacketts vocals - especially on 'Genesis Revisited' - the only record I've given away.

Stephen

Posted on: 14 November 2001 by John C
Isn't that the point of the song though, she's singing to herself, an interior monologue, not him?

I hate "crocodile rock" because not only do I hate Elton but we have a green crocodile that shakes it's hips and sings it when you press a button. Mind you we also have a toy dog in brown leather trousers that sings "Houndog".

Johnt

Posted on: 14 November 2001 by Jez Quigley
Aggaddoo, doo, doo - Black Lace I think. I met one of them years ago, nice chap, but I can't forgive him for inflicting that upon us. Someone thought it was funny to get it played at my wedding reception, I didn't.

I always thought that Carly Simon was singing about Mick Jagger.

Posted on: 14 November 2001 by Bosh
I thought it was Warren Beatty
Posted on: 14 November 2001 by bob atherton
I'm with Paul D on Lady In Red inducing a feeling of nausea, what is it about that b***dy song? I also feel that 'perfect 10, wears a 12'.... thing comes fairly close.

Of course all the 'novelty' songs are crap, but these two are meant to be taken seriously!!!

Bob.... Push pineapple shake the tree....

Posted on: 14 November 2001 by Timbo
anything by:

George Micheal
Elton John (except perhaps Benny & the Jets)
Whitney Houston (screech owl)
- I'll think of some more....

Posted on: 14 November 2001 by Andrew Randle
Bright eyes....

The problem with this was that my father sung this very badly in the bathroom.

Andrew

Andrew Randle
2B || !2B;
4 ^ = ?;

Posted on: 14 November 2001 by Mike Hanson
quote:
Well, I mean, it is isn't it?

Stupid really.


I always thought it was a mildly clever paradox. On first inspection, it doesn't seem to make sense. Look at it again and the point becomes clear: the person is so vain, that they would interpret the song as a good thing, rather than as a rebuke.

-=> Mike Hanson <=-

Posted on: 14 November 2001 by Mike Hanson
I'm not sure what double bluff is.

quote:
they would interpret the song as a good thing

What I meant is that the vain fellow would be proud that someone had written a song about him. He cannot see wrong in himself, even when it's made extremely obvious.

However, this is too much talk about one silly song with a "cute" paradox.

-=> Mike Hanson <=-

Posted on: 14 November 2001 by P
Wyclyff Jean murdering Pink Floyds - Wish You Were Here.

Heard it on the radio today - my mouth fell open.

Words fail me.

As for the Stereophonics version of The Handbags and The Gladrags..............

What the hell is going on?

P.

Posted on: 14 November 2001 by Mick P
Puppet on a string by Sandie Shaw

It was plain bloody awful.

Regards

Mick

Posted on: 14 November 2001 by John C
Molly Bloom!

Samantha, surely you know?

John

Posted on: 14 November 2001 by Jez Quigley
I've been on the phone to Carly Simon, apparently it was about Stallion wink
Posted on: 14 November 2001 by redeye
Timbo oh Timbo....
Get a grip for God's sake!
Both Georgie Porgy and the Elt have written some rippers in their time
Pour scorn on something worthwhile like..........
Oh Yeah
Fu*king Paul McCartney
Hate that sorry assed son of a whore

He was great in the Beatles tho'
Musta been John's influence

redeye

Posted on: 15 November 2001 by Peter Stockwell
Mull of Kintyre, yecch.

Peter