What is the worst song ever?
Posted by: woodface on 13 November 2001
My friend Jen, upon hearing "..and I've seen some things, that a woman just ain't s'posed to see", said "What are those things? What are those things that a woman just ain't s'posed to see?". For the life of us, neither of us could think what they might be. Any suggestions? Stallion?
-John
quote:
Originally posted by woodface:
I knew there would be a Heart fan out there. What distresses me most about this particular record is that you can tell that the singer thinks the lyrics are really deep and meaningful.
I wouldn't call myself a fan: just have Dreamboat Annie that I picked up 2nd hand 'cause it had "Crazy On You" on it which I liked. Rest of the album's good too.
"Thinks the lyrics are really deep and meaningul"? Cynic that I am, I'd say Ms. Wilson thought they'd make a shedload of cash. Which is pretty meaningful in its way, I suppose... Compare and contrast "Magic Man" for a rather better shot at a not entirely dissimilar theme.
Pete.
Merry Xmas Everybody - Slade
and anything by Celine Dion or Charlotte Church!!
I wonder - who does buy Celine Dion's stuff?? will anybody on this forum own up to it??
David
Whiter Shade of Pale
The first time ever I saw her/his face - heard this on the radio sung by Peggy Seegar ghastly in the extreme.
Yours in naim only
Declan
If you like 'Dreamboat Annie', you should try listening to the 'Little Queen' ... much the same sort blend of Zep style rockers with folk influences, but a little better IMO.
Jonathan
PS Oh and that one about 'You can reach me by .....this that and the other' that became the Gulf War anthem here in the UK was pretty bad too. Cant remember who sang it.
Cheers
Keith.
PS - how can some hate Amazing Grace? My goodness...
However, it has recently come to my attention that the man responsible for the very worst music ever is one Leo Boyle.
I've not heard his music but this picture:
has me convinced.
Matthew
John.
You know you might be right -- that would make this photograph an early Vuksanovic from the period where Vuk had yet to persuade any women to act out his weird FemDom/S&M fantasties and so practised on his college roomates instead. Poor Joe was probably just given a couple of Kraft TV Dinners in return for this humuliation and you do wonder how it may have affected him long term.
Matthew
And we've all seen Deliverance.
John
As you can clearly see in this attachment, moving to Kentucky has had no effect on me.
Oh, and my contibution to the worst songs ever...
* Cher's "I believe" -- a song which tipped off Buffy that her roommate, Cathy, was a demon, since Cathy played it over and over (something that no mortal could endure apart from Mike H.'s wife... hmmm)
* Styx's "Mr. Roboto" -- a song so bad that it led one reviewer to proclaim, if there previously had been any doubt, that Styx Stynx)
* Billy Ray's "Achy breaky heart" -- country + mullet... nuff said
Joe
quote:
But by far the worst ever put out there was released in the States around 1974: "Afternoon Delight" by The Starland Vocal Band. I would hope that it never made it across the Atlantic.
How dare you defile my memories, Sir! This I remember. It brings back happy memories of really hot summer school holidays.
AFAIR it did quite well over here, but I'd need some of the *really* old Forum Farts to confirm this. My memory's not quite what it used to be ...
I mean I was around 16 at the time and all I could think of was SEX! If wasn't about that then just well what the hell was it about?
Certainly not about scoffing a bowl of Birds Angel Delight I reckon.
Hmmmmmmmm
Instant Whip anyone?
P.
[This message was edited by P on TUESDAY 04 December 2001 at 22:56.]
Matthew
Any relation to Topper?
P.
See the links a few posts up.
Matthew
As a taster here's Tanya on how to write a Talking Heads song:
1) Pick a subject. This should be something very mundane. The television, perhaps, or animals. Hey! We'll pick computers.
2) Write about your topic in a simple style. Say nothing that is not obvious. How about - You can type on computers. Your words appear on screen.
3) HERE IS THE IMPORTANT PART. You now have to turn your kindergarten words into a penetrating reflection of the strangeness of modern life. You do this by singing them in a bug-eyed neurotic voice.
3A) If you don't make the delivery sufficiently nutty you'll have written a Kraftwerk song instead. And that would never do.
4) Embellish your initial lyrics, if you like, with extra ones of even more staggering obviousness. So your song on computers might now run: "You can type! / On computers. / THEY DON'T TYPE BACK! / Your words show up on the screen / People say the screen is black."
5) Play weedy approximation of funk/African/Brazilian music behind devastatingly insightful words.
6) Approach bank. Laugh.
David Byrne applied this technique time and again. He considered cities: each had good points and bad points. What of animals? "They say animals are hairy". Finally his observations reached a stunning peak: on "Once In A Lifetime" (named for how often anyone needs to hear it), he told the world that "There is water at the bottom of the ocean". In other words, David Byrne made Jonathan Richman look like Hegel.
steve
quote:
it also has a second half that takes the dirge out of dirigible and then deflates it
LOL!!!! Brilliant!
P.S. I loved that record.
Absolutely -- She's just given Roger Waters a right old slagging.
Matthew