A momentary lapse of reason

Would've been much worse if it were foggy.

My father was once stopped by a motorist who asked:
"excuse me, is this the third on the right?"

(true)(really)

I can remember a distant cousin telling me to get out of the swimming pool because it was about to rain!

I remember being told by a Seagulls supporter[Brighton Foot Ball Club "allegedly"] that when he was stopped by some supporters of the opposition team to ask the way,whilst they were traveling down the main road to the sea front. "To keep going straight on ,until they got wet and then turn left",To which he was duly thanked, he then beat a very hasty retreat before they realised what they had been told.
oldie.

quote:

Originally posted by Hammerhead:
I can remember a distant cousin telling me to get out of the swimming pool because it was about to rain!

I think it is totally hilaious if it rains on holiday to see people leave the pool and hide under a tree !

quote:

Originally posted by long-time-dead:
I think it is totally hilaious if it rains on holiday to see people leave the pool and hide under a tree !

Perhaps this phenomonem is only applicable to Scotland. Nope! That's where they get out of the sea if it starts snowing.

quote:

Originally posted by Deane F:
walking stick being used by a blind or partially-sighted person

<Partially sighted person in the room >

Err, that's symbol cane or guide cane; if you try putting your weight on one, it'll snap. In fact, they're so shoddily made, if you are using a symbol cane (partially sighted users use these that you hold across yourself to show people you can't see them) and you inadvertently catch the tip in your shoelaces, the POS will sheer and snap. Tinfoil. Worse build than the Thames Turbo trains, and that's not saying much

BTW - using a guide cane must be great - these canes are the LONG ones that totally blind people use... ...if someone doesn't move, a good belt round the ankles with the tip works a treat... (being at a blind school is very bad for your ankles....)

Did you guys read the one (in Dilbert) about the Induhvidual who asked a driver:
"Why do crossings have beepers on them??"
"It's so blind people know when the lights are red"
"WHAT ON EARTH IS A BLIND PERSON DOING DRIVING!?"

he he he... This is probably the same Induhvidual who plugged their 4-gang power strip into itself, then wandered why the PC wouldn't power up...

WHY would ANYONE get out of a pool if it rains? That's crazy...

Oldie...

An Irish chap where I used to work was on visiting Ireland one x-mas and was stopped on a country lane in the middle of the night drivig to fast by the local policeman.

When this chap appologised, and tried to excuse his speeding by saying that it was a clear staight road with no one about and he would be a to see another car miles before he got near it, the policeman said

"What about Mr Fog?"

This chap from my office says "If I see Mr Fog I will put Mr Foot on Mr Brake and slow down"

the irish policeman says

"I said mist or fog"

We have a Blind School nearby, and it always amuses me that every light in the place seems to be permanently on.

quote:

Originally posted by Rasher:
We have a Blind School nearby, and it always amuses me that every light in the place seems to be permanently on.

Naim lightbulbs?

quote:

Originally posted by i am simon 2:
An Irich chap...

Steve Jobs?

The Irish story reminds my of a story from the late Pete McCarthy regarding opening time for bars in Ireland.

An Englishman in bar asks when closing time is, the barman replies "October".

Jono

Recently in the U.S. there have been a few 'High Profile' cases of women teachers/others (usually 20-30) taking advantage/falling in love/ or abusing their positions of trust in respect of having sexual reltionships with young underage boys, and subsequently being jailed for the fact. This subject has been put by me before on here and was ignored as it may well be again ? & I just remind people that I personally have no agenda, politically morally religiously or otherwise, just a basic interest in the 'Hypocrasy aspect' apparently sanctioned (or ignored) at the very highest levels possible ?
Without even comparing the Boy/Girl aspect (or the present Jackson Case) I refer purely to the afore-mentioned type of situation. Watching the dreaded Larry King show a few months back when a renouned guest Yank Comedian/serious (forget his name, Daily show host possibly ? Bill Mahar?) who referred to the widespread practice in the U.S. with well to do Jewish families, celebrating son's coming of age (13) 'Bamitzfa' by employing the services of 'High Class' whores to orally welcome the youngsters to their sexual lives. Before the clouds burst, he also referred to many Christain families that quite openly do the same (a class distinction here too naturally), just that he being Jewish related to his own actual experiences, etc, and good on the man for being brave enough to do it.
I remind folk in U.K. (again) of the sanctioning at Prime Ministerial level (Maggie) of arranged marriages in Northern England involving 13 year old Iranian girls (U.K. Citezens to-boot) and the proven sexual reltionships involved afterwards. No H.M. Gutter Press dared to upset Maggie (Even the Eye was 'cautious' I recall ?), what with The Falklands Euphoria of the time an all (No reporters out there of any sort, lest you may forget ?). Iranian oil, the Shah, etc were obviously powerful big fish to balance up with these little girls rights (wether human or British Law, never mind so-called International Law, which as I've ranted before I don't believe actually exists, further than agreements with various countries , extradition for example !).



Fritz Von Have a nice weekend, and remember 'Supergirls just fly'


N.B. Maybe more a case of a long term lapse of reason ? I'm goin down the pub, Cheers

Yes, double standard of morality is not twice as good but twice as bad as no standard of morality.

Well that's allright then matey, let's all move to Cambodia eh ?

quote:

Originally posted by Deane F:

quote:

Originally posted by Rasher:
We have a Blind School nearby, and it always amuses me that every light in the place seems to be permanently on.

Naim lightbulbs?

BTW - it's VERY rare to have someone who is TOTALLY blind; most people who are registered as blind can see a fair amount; out of 150 pupils at the school when I was there, maybe 10 were total blackout; most can still see light and dark, and sometimes shade as well, so the lights are probably on for a good reason (plus, how would the teachers be able to see to work???)

My mate Ed (who needs sighted guide or a cane to get around) saw a fallen tree branch on the pavement once when we were walking him back from town. Neither me or my other partially sighted mate had noticed it until after he "saw" it; would have been a nice painful accident if we hadn't - the branch was massive!

After visiting a Notary (kind of Barrister) this moaning to sort out some legal bollocks, I very nearly had a momentary lapse of reason when after a 20 minute consultation he hit me with a bill for €180, which I duly passed on to somebody else. Christ I thought for that kind of dosh I could get a second rate mickey mouse British plumber to fuck up my pipes for half an hour, minus tea break naturally, innit.

Fritz Von Wotta Scam eh !!!