An island-bound logic

Posted by: Steve Toy on 25 February 2005

The following are a series of phrases or expressions (or just plain-silly notions imho) that are peculiar to the British Isles. They perhaps say much about the counter-intuitive mindset within the confines of our foggy shores:

It's too cold to snow.

You're so sharp that one day you'll cut yourself.

Too clever by half.

The more roadspace you create the more cars will come along to fill that space.


There must be more, and those of you who don't live in the British Isles could provide examples from the country where you live.

I note that the Germans have one strange notion:

If one wheeltrim falls off your car the rest must be removed immediately before they are all eventually replaced.
Posted on: 26 February 2005 by Deane F
I remember a kite maker in New Zealand telling of how he employed an American fellow in a training position over here. He sent the American chap off to buy something for him and told him the shop was "just over the road". He got a blank look.
Posted on: 26 February 2005 by Lomo
Thats what you get for "flying kites".
Posted on: 26 February 2005 by Berlin Fritz
quote:
Originally posted by Lomo:
Thats what you get for "flying kites".


Mr Bank's Wasp Factory comes to mind Smile Smile
Posted on: 26 February 2005 by Deane F
quote:
Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:

Mr Bank's Wasp Factory comes to mind Smile Smile


That book had quite a surprise ending.
Posted on: 26 February 2005 by Nime
Steve

You've been watching to much Billy Connolly.

Or not enough?

"Taxies is it? I'll give you taxies, my lad!"

Regards
Nime
Posted on: 26 February 2005 by long-time-dead
For Connelly - you MUST be Scottish !

"I'll take my hand off your face, laddie"

(It was the high-speed application that hurt)

Glad to be back in the mayhem - even if my "Goodbye" post has disappeared) Winker
Posted on: 26 February 2005 by Nime
So rumours of your demise were greatly exaggerated?

(Thank god for English)

Nime
Posted on: 26 February 2005 by Berlin Fritz
You mean the small g and the large E I presume Mr Livingstone ?
Posted on: 26 February 2005 by Nime
Nah. I was just relishing the powers of expression in english. I believe in no god but overcompensated slightly on the corners for the lower case "e" for "englesk" in danish.

Nime
Posted on: 26 February 2005 by Steve Toy
I admit to liking Billy Connolly and I'm not Scottish.

I find Peter Kay the English comedian to be fucking irritating though.

"Yes I am busy."

"I finish when twunts like you stop phoning!"

(LTD, good to see you back. Smile )

By "Island bound" I mean anywhere in the British Isles (England, Scotland or Wales) but not in Ireland where they seem have their very own island-bound logic that is different again.

The French have a no-left-turn sign on the approach to roundabouts. Duh!
Posted on: 26 February 2005 by Lomo
Australians see roundabouts as an extreme challenge to their masculinaty, speed calming devices as an even greater challenge and red lights no challenge at all.
Posted on: 27 February 2005 by 7V
Why is it that we so often get a sign post to a particular place, subsequently arrive at a 'T' junction or similar and are given no clue as to which way to go?

Is that specific to the UK?

Regards
Steve M
Posted on: 27 February 2005 by Lomo
Probably not. Here in our tourist orientated region overseas visitors from The States and Europe have a tendancy to forget we drive on the right hand side. Sometimes with disasterous consequences.
As to signage, we enjoy so much of it especially around schools, we can no longer see the wood for the trees.
Posted on: 27 February 2005 by John Sheridan
quote:
Originally posted by Lomo:
Probably not. Here in our tourist orientated region overseas visitors from The States and Europe have a tendancy to forget we drive on the right hand side.

left, right, who can tell?? I think you'll find we drive on the left.
Posted on: 27 February 2005 by Nime
Signposting to destinations is also a rather parochial affair over here. Big Grin

Signposts seem uniquely placed to satisfy locals. Who already know where they are and where the hell they're going! Which makes the signs largely redundant and quite useless for those on their way somewhere else. If only they knew where now and how to get somewhere else without signposts.

My memories of uk.conf.gov are that signposting was considerably better than my present place of exile. The locals here obviously think that travelling in hope is better than actually arriving somewhere else. Perhaps I'm simply confused and nobody ever does go anywhere. Except where they started from. Confused

Interestingly, they don't light the road signs here at night either, as they often do in the UK. Which strongly suggests, to me at least, that nobody ever sneaks out at night to see where somewhere else is and what's actually there if they should ever arrive. Despite these other place not being signposted to in the first place. Smile

If this doesn't get a suitable response from MPMD then rumours of his absense may actually be true. Winker

Nime
Posted on: 27 February 2005 by JonR
Nime,

Nah don't worry MP's around.

Do they still have compulsory headlights-on for cars in Denmark still?

Cheers,

JR
Posted on: 27 February 2005 by Nime
They do indeed! Somebody should calculate what it is costing the country in extra fuel consumption. Then they can calculate what the lack of roundabouts and excess of queuing for traffic lights is costing on top of that.
Its not as if they have any effect on traffic calming. Everybody sprints from light to light and adherence to speed limits is almost totally non-existant in my experience. Particularly on the motorways where a (guestimated) 90% are way over the speed limit.

They also have an 80kph (50mph) national speed limit on country roads which makes for incredibly slow journeys with almost no villages on the main roads having bypasses.

Most people seem to ignore the speed limits entirely. I really ought to get a nice old Morris Minor Van so I don't feel so out of place sticking to 1960's driving conditions. Winker

Really, though I sound critical, I wouldn't have it any other way. It is a delight to have such light traffic and I don't think the average motorist could cope with higher speeed limits anyway. They are far too busy using the phone, reading, eating or turning to chat to the passengers in the back. I just wish sometimes that they weren't going the opposite way when I'm on the road. Big Grin

Regards
Nime
Posted on: 27 February 2005 by Lomo
I was wondering what the situation is with Police chases in the UK and Europe. We have many chases here and they regularly result in deaths to the usually young people concerned.
Two teenagers died in a police pursuit in NSW at the weekend. They were driving a stolen car.There has since been two nights of rioting by up two 150 youths in their local suburb.
The police have suffered injuries and will commence arresting the ringleaders today.
They claim they did nothing wrong in mounting the pursuit. When people, particularly young adults, are dieing like this is the chase worth the outcome, Yes, no ???
Posted on: 28 February 2005 by Nime
There is a strange logic in allowing police officers to drive beyond the speed limit in pursuit of "criminals". It reminds me rather of the American police shooting in a busy street when a crime that does not warrant the death sentence actually results in deaths.

Sterling Moss was pulled over once. He was regarded as one of the finest drivers who ever lived. The quality of his driving was the stuff of legend. No doubt Sterling was driving a high quality sports car at the time. Yet a bobby had the right to drive even faster in a common-or-garden family car in order to stop him. Possibly risking the lives of others in the pursuit.

Nime
Posted on: 28 February 2005 by Steve Toy
Compulsory lights-on/twat (aka front fog) lights are counter-intuitive because they make it difficult to judge the speed/distance of the vehicle coming towards you with them on.

I have a desire to follow every car with the twat lights on and while they are asleep put a baseball bat through them (the bottom twat lights that is.)
Posted on: 28 February 2005 by Justin
quote:
Originally posted by Steve Toy:
Compulsory lights-on/twat (aka front fog) lights are counter-intuitive because they make it difficult to judge the speed/distance of the vehicle coming towards you with them on.

I have a desire to follow every car with the twat lights on and while they are asleep put a baseball bat through them (the bottom twat lights that is.)


"twat" in the US is a bad word.

Judd
Posted on: 28 February 2005 by Steve Toy
It is here too.
Posted on: 01 March 2005 by Nime
I agree entirely on the lower spot lights Steve.
What the twats don't realise is that the very low angle of reflection greatly increases the intensity of the lights for observers coming in the other direction. Partiularly if the offender is coming over a very gentle hump in the road and it is wet. Though tarmac is often ramarkably "shiny" to such low lights.
May I borrow your baseball bat to 'educate' the twats when you've finished with it?

Regards
Nime
Posted on: 01 March 2005 by BigH47
Only one of my lower "fog lights actually" works. Do I only get half beaten up? Lights have to be a certain height to make them "spot" lights/aux lights.

Howard
Posted on: 01 March 2005 by mykel
Steve

Not from the isles, but the colonies.

It's too cold to snow.
Too clever by half.

are both quite common in my part of Canada ( Southwestern Ontaro )

As for the issue with vehicle lights on during the day. In Ontario vehicles are required to have "Daytime Running Lights - DRL " which means that your headlights / foglights / marker lights must be lit during the day. This is accomplished automatically. Start the car, and put in gear, DRL come on. Don't remember when it was brought in, but has been in effect for some time now...

My 90 CRX has the headlights come on automatically.
My 03 Civic SiR has the marker lights come on automatically.

One thing that is good about them is that they are always on in bad weather, independant of the driver actually remembering to turn on his lights. Sad but true...

regards,

michael