Nottinghamshire Totally Snowed in!
Posted by: Berlin Fritz on 27 December 2005
Initially after a team of 'Huskies' (Highly trained CSO's ) escaped the County to give the alarm to other police forces that roads were simply impassable throughout the Manor. Chief Constable Andy C, (St Georges Tavern Cross & Bar) was quoted as saying 'Most people are not even aware that Nottinghamshire actually exists, and it's only when they come flying through in their flash motors to more exotic destinations that we nab them for all sorts of offences, innit'. This is a real emergency though, as lot's of the chaps are on the sick at present (mainly work related stress), and all overtime pay has been docked in the green, by Charlie Clark, so we're stymied, and must rely almost entirely upon volunteers.
5cm of wispy, crispy snow has been sighted, which in real money is nearly 3 inches, and only highly skilled and long experienced taxi-drivers, farmers, and milkmen can get through it, everybody else is on hoiliday, or working on the side in Tescos. The Chief Constable also emphasised that he's doing his very best to send out an armed rapid response unit with every call, to ensure the safety of his officers, but sometimes we just have to put callers on automatic hold, and relay them to a call centre (with nice music) and eventually talk to a Councillor (No! not the elected kind), phew; that's a relief then John:
A Mr. M.P.Parry, Spokes-person for home County security & public order has issued a statement to the tune of 'I'm allright Jack, i Is in Wiltshire, so lettem get on wivvit and stop the whingeing, innit'
Thank you Sir, *************
5cm of wispy, crispy snow has been sighted, which in real money is nearly 3 inches, and only highly skilled and long experienced taxi-drivers, farmers, and milkmen can get through it, everybody else is on hoiliday, or working on the side in Tescos. The Chief Constable also emphasised that he's doing his very best to send out an armed rapid response unit with every call, to ensure the safety of his officers, but sometimes we just have to put callers on automatic hold, and relay them to a call centre (with nice music) and eventually talk to a Councillor (No! not the elected kind), phew; that's a relief then John:
A Mr. M.P.Parry, Spokes-person for home County security & public order has issued a statement to the tune of 'I'm allright Jack, i Is in Wiltshire, so lettem get on wivvit and stop the whingeing, innit'
Thank you Sir, *************
quote:Originally posted by maria:
merry christmas and a happy new year to you all
maria
You're not a Paediactric Psychologist by any slim chance of the imagination are you Maria Old Chap?
quote:Originally posted by Nime:WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!
It's no secret Clive, tis in the phone book, innit. I was just wondering about my Berlin Copper matey who's en-route to down GwattiMalli way; as they've just announced an earthquake there on the news! though a little birdy told me that ten days ago he was still pissing it up in a bar down Mexico City way, and knowing him, he still is
I wonder why that Supertramp didn't get chucked out of America when he breakfasted there?
quote:Originally posted by andy c:
Fritz,
Just catching up etc
Don't you like the speeding threads on 'the other place' then?
Just cannie keep pace with them Squire, not as young as I was
When I first arrived in this City, there were only half a dozen betting shops and two officially run Casinos (Tie/Dress & Passport required). Now though! Mickey Mouse 'unnofficial Jobbys registered in the Cayman Islands etc' are springing up 'frighteningly' all over the shop (6 in my neighbourhood alone in the last year). There is already 'loud muttering' going on in the Bündestag to force these places to State licenced (and bloody good job too) 90% will leave over night. With high unemployment, and more private debt across the board, these places are a real danger in my opinion, but, Hey,, what does i Know, innit?
Cheap booze in UK was recently blamed for 'Yoof Abusing it': I say Bollocks³ !!! rather they drank cheap 'legal' booze, than Meths, etc, etc, which I often saw in London, and a point here (where alcohol is taxed relatively low) is that I've never even seen the lowliest of the lowliest poor bastard junkies/pissheads on the bones of their arses EVER EVER EVER drinking that shit (Cos they had no choice), know what I mean, Education is about Education, not blaming the easiest target
P.S.
AS unpolitically correct as it may seem, most punters in above-mentioned joints are of Turkish origin etc, from what I can see, and what with money laundering, & organised crime starting to boom across the board, it can only all end in tears, innit:
You know it makes sense:
N.B. Many Turkish folk in this City have their own pubs and clubs where card playing 24/7 is the norm (Germans very rarely enter these places), and the Turks/Berliners certainly don't want pissed idiots all over the place, and one can hardly blame one, can one? innit:
Aren't Supermarkets boring, you save € 25, 00 on a decent bottle of booze, rather than Lordin it by dressin up an goin ter Arrods (Just for the carrier bags mainly for yer rubbish). Marmite and toms on toast for tea now methinks, isn't Sat TV so tiresome, I'vew got to suffer live darts from Purfleet now as well, would you Adam & Eve it John
Cheap booze in UK was recently blamed for 'Yoof Abusing it': I say Bollocks³ !!! rather they drank cheap 'legal' booze, than Meths, etc, etc, which I often saw in London, and a point here (where alcohol is taxed relatively low) is that I've never even seen the lowliest of the lowliest poor bastard junkies/pissheads on the bones of their arses EVER EVER EVER drinking that shit (Cos they had no choice), know what I mean, Education is about Education, not blaming the easiest target
P.S.
AS unpolitically correct as it may seem, most punters in above-mentioned joints are of Turkish origin etc, from what I can see, and what with money laundering, & organised crime starting to boom across the board, it can only all end in tears, innit:
You know it makes sense:
N.B. Many Turkish folk in this City have their own pubs and clubs where card playing 24/7 is the norm (Germans very rarely enter these places), and the Turks/Berliners certainly don't want pissed idiots all over the place, and one can hardly blame one, can one? innit:
Aren't Supermarkets boring, you save € 25, 00 on a decent bottle of booze, rather than Lordin it by dressin up an goin ter Arrods (Just for the carrier bags mainly for yer rubbish). Marmite and toms on toast for tea now methinks, isn't Sat TV so tiresome, I'vew got to suffer live darts from Purfleet now as well, would you Adam & Eve it John
quote:Originally posted by Mick Parry:
Chaps
Just been to a gun shop and must confess to liking the machine washing stuff in preference to the old wax cotton.
The Musto was good but I think I will go for a Barbour version.
Regards
Mick
What with Danish and their Minke coats and those stuck up Norwegian snobs still hunting big with the Japs, you'll find Musto great for shooting Whales Our Mick, though watch out for the blubber
Sweeny Todd was a Barbour too, which means dead in German, obvious, innit Tom
Berlin Police nabbed 14 tons of illegal firewoks tonight, bloody pain they are too
What's the difference between living in a rundown bedsit in Leicester, and owning a beautiful hunting lodge in wildest Alaska?
None:
You'll not see a living soul for months on end in either of them, innit
P.S. I've heard that now it's nearly 2006, and England's in Europe at last, folk who pay a fortune² (in time & money) travelling to Premier football matches in winter, can't possibly be sent home just before the game's due to begin, as it's been cancelled due to the wrong kind of snow & on top of that; be expected just to take it on the chin like a bunch of naive Wallys !!!
Pathetic really: enough to drive one to 24 hour binge drinking, innit
Lame excuses incorporated³:
None:
You'll not see a living soul for months on end in either of them, innit
P.S. I've heard that now it's nearly 2006, and England's in Europe at last, folk who pay a fortune² (in time & money) travelling to Premier football matches in winter, can't possibly be sent home just before the game's due to begin, as it's been cancelled due to the wrong kind of snow & on top of that; be expected just to take it on the chin like a bunch of naive Wallys !!!
Pathetic really: enough to drive one to 24 hour binge drinking, innit
Lame excuses incorporated³:
Somebody I know quite well (who can't be named at present); told me that she was blissfully listening to some rather wicked Wiwaldi last night on her new Naim kit & cheeky wee Yanky speakers, when she suddenly realised! and said to herself 'Fuck this for a game of fish fingers, whils't i Is wasting my valuable time listening to this masterpiece of a work; i could instead, be participating in the great website colour-issue on the Padded Cell forum, innit', and she turned it off.
I asked her later why she didn't just send them a trippy registered letter of complaint, or even an e-mail, directly to Brainwashing House, but she just larfed at me, in a very wierd manner?
Blair rang for advice earlier too; told him to scarper and try again tomorrow, as I was busy on here learning trigger stuff from Our Mick (there goes his New Years Honour then, don't pay the bloody rent anyway, do they?)
P.S. I didn't mean Sir Ian by the by, I meant Lionel! I dunno, one'll nick you for stocking up on peroxide, and the other can't get enough of the stuff, innit:
John I'm only Dancin *****
I asked her later why she didn't just send them a trippy registered letter of complaint, or even an e-mail, directly to Brainwashing House, but she just larfed at me, in a very wierd manner?
Blair rang for advice earlier too; told him to scarper and try again tomorrow, as I was busy on here learning trigger stuff from Our Mick (there goes his New Years Honour then, don't pay the bloody rent anyway, do they?)
P.S. I didn't mean Sir Ian by the by, I meant Lionel! I dunno, one'll nick you for stocking up on peroxide, and the other can't get enough of the stuff, innit:
John I'm only Dancin *****
Weather update - snowed here in the early hours, but now seems to be raining!
brought to you via andy c!'s ametur weather forcasting, accurate now but not into the future
brought to you via andy c!'s ametur weather forcasting, accurate now but not into the future
We have at least 10" lying.
Um.. we have 10" of snow and I'm not lying.
Um.. we have 10" of snow and I'm not lying.