Legal age for smoking

quote:

Originally posted by jayd:

quote:

Originally posted by GFFJ:
Dear jayd,

There are times when I am glad that I made up my mind, perhaps twenty years ago, never to visit the USA!

You just helped re-inforce the very rightness of that decision!

ATB from George

Dearest, most fabbo GFFJ:

Many's the time I've questioned the famous sense of "humour" of the British. Now makes one more.

America probably didn't miss much.

Snoodgie-boodgies,

jayd

Dear jayd,

Though in person I am very often the heart of the party and laughing with the best, in print my sense of humour is distinctly Norwegian [ie. close to non-existant]. My better genetics come from Norway and represent half of the whole, most unfortunately ...

Even my English/British side cannot see what was funny though in this case!

Best wishes all the same from George

Jayd,

Just seen your reply to George. Just to be clear: I realise you weren't expecting such a policy to be adopted or indeed seriously proposing that it should be. I realised, in other words that you were, as it were, 'joking' and I did get it. But I still don't understand looking at that woman's picture and making that 'joke' and I still find it odd - and sad - that you're heartlessness seems to strike you as being so clever.

Would anyone like to swap recipes for suckling child? A Norwegian variant, possibly?

"I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled."

How far we've come since 1729. Like poverty, smoking is an eminently solvable problem, for anyone with the assertiveness required to take it on. Who's going to step up?

Dear jayd,

Perhaps silence would be a better option, but I am really struggling to see where you are going with this?

To appear clever or simply rile more centred people?

To me what you are doing simply peeves me, but perhaps those who think you humour is side splittingly funny will soon post in defence of your peculiarly un-British - I might even venuture, rather sick - understanding of what really is funny.

To me you made the average smoker look positively sane, when considering your last few posts. Have pipe of best Virginia and you will calm down, I am sure!!

ATB from George

Jayd,

You're no Swift; which is probably why you fail to grasp why your post was offensive in a way that that quotation isn't. An interesting question which you inadvertently raise is what the impact of photojournalism on Swift's writing would have been, had it existed. If you like Swift you should seek out the works of Chris Morris, his modern heir - possibly the only living satirist - you not excepted. There is more to satire than saying nasty unpopular things which will upset people you don't like and then accusing them of being humourless when it works.

quote:

Originally posted by GFFJ:
Dear jayd,

Perhaps silence would be a better option, but I am really struggling to see where you are going with this?

To appear clever or simply rile more centred people?

To me what you are doing simply peeves me, but perhaps those who think you humour is side splittingly funny will soon post in defence of your peculiarly un-British - I might even evenuture, rather sick - understanding of what really is funny.

To me you made the average smoker look positively sane, when considering your last few posts. Have pipe of best Virginia and you will calm down, I am sure!!

ATB from George

Excellent - your silence is anticipated with gusto.

Swift was Anglo-Irish, by the way. Perhaps it's the Irish bit that's throwing you off.

quote:

Originally posted by David Scott?:
Jayd,

You're no Swift; which is probably why you fail to grasp why your post was offensive in a way that that quotation isn't. An interesting question which you inadvertently raise is what the impact of photojournalism on Swift's writing would have been, had it existed. If you like Swift you should seek out the works of Chris Morris, his modern heir - possibly the only living satirist - you not excepted. There is more to satire than saying nasty unpopular things which will upset people you don't like and then accusing them of being humourless when it works.

Thankfully, it isn't your call, but I assure you that your opinion of what I grasp or fail to is held in proper regard on this end (i.e., something somebody typed on the internet). I have already praised your righteousness - is there anything else I can do to make you more comfortable? Cigarette, perhaps?

quote:

Originally posted by jayd:

quote:

Originally posted by GFFJ:
Dear jayd,

Perhaps silence would be a better option, but I am really struggling to see where you are going with this?

To appear clever or simply rile more centred people?

To me what you are doing simply peeves me, but perhaps those who think you humour is side splittingly funny will soon post in defence of your peculiarly un-British - I might even evenuture, rather sick - understanding of what really is funny.

To me you made the average smoker look positively sane, when considering your last few posts. Have pipe of best Virginia and you will calm down, I am sure!!

ATB from George

Excellent - your silence is anticipated with gusto.

Swift was Anglo-Irish, by the way. Perhaps it's the Irish bit that's throwing you off.

You are confused. It is David who mentioned Swift. I am afraid that in this case discretion is not the better part of bravery for me.

You are being offensive and reveling in it.

As I said perhaps a host of people will soon post that your are right to post sick faux-humour, and I need a funny bone transplant, but I doubt it.

GFFJ

quote:

Originally posted by GFFJ:

You are confused. It is David who mentioned Swift. I am afraid that in this case discretion is not the better part of bravery for me.

You are being offensive and reveling in it.

As I said perhaps a host of people will soon post that your are right to post sick faux-humour, and I need a funny bone transplant, but I doubt it.

GFFJ

One of us is certainly confused.

But hey, this is the internet, and you have the most posts. That's got to count for something, right? I cede victory and bow. Best of luck working out this honeydoodle of a melon-scratcher. I expect you'll have it wrapped up by the next smoke break. Take care not to offend, though - it makes people sad.

One of us is certainly confused.

Dear jayd,

Why conflate David's post with mine in a reply to me? It seems to demonstrate confusion within you.

It certainly appears that you need a good glass of wine and a long draw on some nice Virginia from a long cool pipe, and then you would see the funny side indeed!

"Chill!" would be my advice and ditch the spade with which you have been digging an ever deeper hole for yourself ...

ATB from George

quote:

Originally posted by GFFJ:
One of us is certainly confused.

Why conflate David's post with mine in a named reply to me?

It certainly appears that you need a good glass of wine and a long draw on some nice Virginia from a long cool pipe, and then you would see the funny side indeed!

"Chill!" would be my advice and ditch the spade with which you are digging an ever deeper hole for yourself ...

ATB from George

Ok, you need it itemized apparently:

Edit: not worth it. wastes your time, and annoys the pig, as the old adage goes.

I suppose you think you're being funny by suggesting that smoking will make me a better person. It won't, and you aren't.

Jayd, Now you're not even succeeding in being offensive, let alone satirical. FWIW the reason why your first attempt worked was because of the link to a real story about real people dying - many of them very light - maybe even first time -users, if they were sniffing it - and had a picture of a real woman whose real daughter had actually died. In juxtaposition to this image, your juvenile tough guy humour was offensive. Un aided, it's not. In one sense, you should try harder. In another, you really, really shouldn't.

quote:

Originally posted by David Scott?:
Jayd, Now you're not even succeeding in being offensive, let alone satirical. FWIW the reason why your first attempt worked was because of the link to a real story about real people dying - many of them very light - maybe even first time -users, if they were sniffing it - and had a picture of a real woman whose real daughter had actually died. In juxtaposition to this image, your juvenile tough guy humour was offensive. Un aided, it's not. In one sense, you should try harder. In another, you really, really shouldn't.

And you have consistently failed to make any contribution whatsoever to the original subject of the thread. In every sense, you must try harder.

Let me know if you have anything other than "I'm a person who knows things, so let me tell you about yourself". It's a threadbare internet persona, and you bring nothing novel to the role.

quote:

Originally posted by jayd:

quote:

Originally posted by GFFJ:
One of us is certainly confused.

Why conflate David's post with mine in a named reply to me?

It certainly appears that you need a good glass of wine and a long draw on some nice Virginia from a long cool pipe, and then you would see the funny side indeed!

"Chill!" would be my advice and ditch the spade with which you are digging an ever deeper hole for yourself ...

ATB from George

Ok, you want it itemized apparently:

Edit: not worth it. wastes your time, and annoys the pig, as the old adage goes.

I suppose you think you're being funny by suggesting that smoking will make me a better person. It won't, and you aren't.

Dear jayd,

I never asked you to itemise it. More confusion on your part perhaps?

I am not a pig. More confusion on your part perhaps?

I don't suppose that I am being funny. I told you that humour is not something I convey well in print. More confusion on your part perhaps?

Oh dear jayd, I sympathise - and repeat the advice above to sup deeply of some good wine and enjoy a good pipe. At most the average shortening of your life will be ten years, and possibly as short as three - on average for a light smoker - and as anxious as you are, perhaps it will be less of a strain on your constitution than the stress of your confusion. Smoking might make you live longer and happier!

ATB from George

Jayd,

You're beginning to seem almost endearing, like a scruffy old pair of comfortable slippers. Odd how that happens.

Dear David,

I threw out just such a pair on Saturday.

ATB from George

quote:

Originally posted by GFFJ:
Dear jayd,

I never asked you to itemise it. More confusion on your part perhaps?

I am not a pig. More confusion on your part perhaps?

I don't suppose that I am being funny. I told you that humour is not something I convey well in print. More confusion on your part perhaps?

Oh dear jayd, I sympathise - and repeat the advice above to sup deeply of some good wine and enjoy a good pipe. At most the average shortening of your life will be ten years, and possibly as short as three - on average - and as anxious as you are, perhaps it will be less of a strain than the stress of your confusion. Smoking might make you live longer and happier!

ATB from George

Wow. You say you're the heart of the party? I can see why.

Your sympathy is quite touching. Feel free to up the dose on your smoking, if you like - you deserve to be very, very happy.

My actual help as much as my sympathy is reknown. My advice is respected. Heed it for your own good.

Tonight you have demonstrated that you need all the good friends you can get to assist and advise. You must listen to them, for your own sake ...

Your failure to grasp levels of humour and paradox is unsurpassed in my experience of people posting nonesense on the forum over seven years!

If that offends at least I did not connect you with a pig in an off-hand way ... Pigs are rather intelligent and quick to see the way through.

ATB from George

quote:

Originally posted by GFFJ:
My actual help as much as my sympathy is reknown. my advice is respected. Heed it for your own good.

Tonight you have demonstrated that you need all the good friends yo can get to assist and advise.

you failure to grasp levels of humour and paraox is unsurpassed in my experience of people posting nonesense on the forum over seven years!

If that offends at least I did not connect you with a pig in an off-hand way ... Pigs are rather intelligent and quick to see the way through.

ATB from George

I'm amazed I've made it this long without you, GFFJ. God, how I've needed your sympathy, your respect, your insight, and most of all, your phenomenal modesty.

Humanity needs you, GFFJ. Pass your pipe, spread your gospel. You are our only hope.

PS- as my arithmetic makes it, you've only been posting here just shy of five years, not the seven you claim. More wine! More nicotine! You'll master those pesky sums yet.

You don't have my respect. Rather the reverse. You are far too far gone for my help to be of the slightest value!

As advised earlier, "Ditch the spade!" That would be a start.

ATB from George

PS: You maths is incorrect as I was initially bylined differently from July 2003, but a Forum software change meant a necessary new membership during 2005, because of some fault unrelated to me.

quote:

Originally posted by GFFJ:
You don't have my respect. Rather the reverse. You are far too far gone for my help to be of the slightest value!

As advised earlier, "Ditch the spade!" That would be a start.

ATB from George

Noooooo! Heal me, Master!!!!! Do not forsake me, your lowliest disciple! I promise I'll try to smoke more!

I am not a pharisee!

quote:

Originally posted by GFFJ:
I am not a pharisee!

Of course not - I actually find you quite Sadducee.

I am not even Jewish! [Be careful!].

rim shot, whooshing noise, curtain, lights.