Insult of the Day.

Look, if you're going to insist on practising your proctology skills on yourself, take some advice and use your finger, not your head.

A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.

Your mum must have been a weightlifter
to raise a dumbbell like you

Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?


Are you the longest surviving brain transplant donor?


And one surprisingly not been used around here:-

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

As an outsider...what do you think of the human race ?

I'd put this all down to a clash of personalities, but you haven't got one.

Tell me, did your mother have any children that survived

A topical North London insult 3-0, 3-0, 3-0.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others?

She was so fat, she didn't cast a shadow so much as cause an eclipse.

Have you got some onions to go with that mince?


Sister xx

My other ride is your mom.

You're so dense, light bends around you.

Does your head whistle in a cross-wind?

Have you been chasing parked cars?

quote:

Originally posted by Sister E.:
Have you got some onions to go with that mince?


Sister xx

Or, indeed, cheese to go with that whine?

If you was half as good as me you will be twice the person you are.

Harmless bit of site banter

Isn't it strange how both your brain cells have shut down at the same time.

I don't think your sailing with a full crew.

Keep your hat on - there are woodpeckers about.

Not exactly an insult but I heard this a year or two ago working with a Canadian guy. Someone "passed wind" and he said to them:

"Lordy, that's some noise from a 1" speaker"

You can not beat The Bard himself:

"...your whoreson dog! you slave! you cur!"

Everyone has a right to be ugly, but you abuse the privilege.

If I'm fat then it's your wifes fault.
Everytime we make love she gives me a biscuit !

My admiration for you has found new limits.

From M*A*S*H, by Klinger:
'If I had a dog with a face like yours, I'd shave its butt and teach it to walk backwards.'

Winston Churchill (which I first heard relayed by the Buffalo Bills charming head coach Marv Levy).
'He has all the virtues I don't admire, and none of the vices I do.'

One I heard from a aunt of mine:
'Two faced? She was like a town hall clock.'

And one of many by the French Taunter in 'Monty Python's Holy Grail':
'Ha, I fart in your general direction.'

Howlinhounddog: I think I heard the biscuit one from Shane Warne, as a fine 'sledge' during a cricket match, after a battsman called him fat.