A man of letters writes:

Life is a matter of balance. As Alex would surely agree there's pleasures and responsibilities.

Life was good the way it was. I was enjoying my top-flight system (CDS2 / XPS / 52 / SC / 250 / whathaveyou noendof hicaps andloadsofchips). Even my wife was enjoying my topflight system. She has a wonderful voice and when I switch off the light at 2:30 every night she always said "I love your topflight system." Beats me where she got that phrase, I've never flown my system off the top of a cliff, no way, but the intention was good. Her name is Angelina.)

However, today I spotted the news about theHerm Auction in the Padded Cell. http://forums.naim-audio.com/eve/forums?a=tpc&s=67019385&f=58019385&m=2151958695 It looked like a load of ersatz twaddle at first (to mix my metaphors), but it got me thinking.

Over a thousand posts as a startup isn't all that bad, and some of them were pretty successful. Remember the one about the Portugal Aeroporto, with Geoff and Nuño (clueless kid) exchanging a CD5 (totally entrée level), and Mrs Geoff in her mink coat standing by? I like Mrs Geoff. She's an excellent dresser, and I'll say no more.

Of course there's tons of ersatz twaddle in the backlist, and we never really found out what Herm's position is on gypsies and burglars: do you shoot them on the drive, on the porch or when they've entered the premises? Personally I'd say the latter is a little late. But at a certain level you have to think big. A thousand plus posts (some of them excellent) ain't all that bad.

So I gave this Herm a call and told him about my topflight system, and whether we had a deal. There was some ersatz diddly about the new series, and whether I'd throw in a CDS3, but I'd rather keep that to myself, and Angelina (ever met my wife? Lovely woman.).

So here I am, I'm the new Herm, and I've offloaded my old system pretty smoothly on this Dutch twaddlio, I'm getting the new stuff fast, and meanwhile as my first post I'd like to say that I'm a huge fan.

Huge fan of what, you'll ask. Well, the backlist doesn't say, and Elton John is a little past it (I guess) but I'd just like to say I'm a huge fan, so I'm curious whether you are too...

Herman (the new one)

PS Robin Williams is pretty exciting, too.

quote:

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Originally posted by Nick Lees:
Will we now be treated to lengthy expositions (full score on lap)

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Nope, that was the old one, the prince of pretend. As I came to drop off my topflight system (old herm don't drive) I had a chance to check out his place. I didn't see any scores, old or new, and frankly the place was a mess. Floor was littered with candy wrappers, and the door handles were really sticky. I think Angelina probably has more classical cds (Karajan Four Seasons is a good one) than old Herm does.

However, let's put old herm behind us. I'm different. I'm better. My door handles are clean. I'm just a fan. All I do is look for someone to be a fan of.

So Porcupine Tree are they any good?

Herman (the new one)

Two to one.

I guess I'm not going to be a fan of Porcupine Tree. It's just not a good investment of my fan feelings

quote:

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Originally posted by Nick Lees:
I'm now going for a little lie down, I may be some time.

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Does this mean you're going to be taken over? Is there a new, young, one-track Nick in the offing, who'll just like Limp Bizkit and that's it? It would save the postman's back a lot of pain. No more boxes of weird cds every morning...

Herman (the new one)

Hey Herman,

Is the invite for the Riders still on? To be honest I was a little worried about enduring an evening of Reger's chamber music no matter how good your system. Hostess upgrade sounds promising as well.

David

Why, of course we'd be honored and thrilled to have the T. W. Riders over in our home! I had not realized before that taking over herm would mean an entrée in the world of refined society, adroit conversation and subtle musical soirées.

I thought it was just a bunch of useless grammar tips. All I was, was anxious to get was a thousand-plus start, so as to sail past all newbie hazing, to be totally honest. That's just not my style.

So how about a night of Elton John (are you familiar, by any chance, with 'Candles in the Wind'? I'm a huge fan) and the Carpenters. Don't you worry about Reger, David, I've never heard of the man. Chances are old herm just made him up, to look extra special. That's the kind of man he is / was.

We'll get some Pouilly-Fumé and Angelina will present some lovely canapés - she's a great canapé presenter. She can virtually present canapés upside down. I met Angelina on a transatlantic flight, in fact she used to be a flight attendant, and I have to say, she was a top flight attendant, and the vicious twaddle the old herm is spreading in the Padded Cell just shows what a degenerate candy-bar curmudgeon he is, indeed.

So let me get my calendar out.

Herman

I really must insist Mr Lees that it is Joe Satriani to whit The prog wannabees PT aspire to.

Background synz music with guitar overtones and strained singing is the domain of surfing with the alien.

Not that surfing is bad persay.

And its the meat eaters that do me.

Herman,

Beautiful wife, top flight system - sounds like you have it all. I can see you are a man who knows what you want and goes out and gets it. When Mr Parry gets back from holiday, we must make an introduction.

I must admit, Elton has not surfaced at any of the evenings yet. I'm slightly concerned that going for one of Elton's 70s classics may lead Mr Lees into one of his 'They don't make albums like that anymore' laments. Also, you may want to seek out the Diana version of the 'Candle in the Wind'. Modern digital recording will I'm sure sound awesome on your system - I presume you're running active?

Pouilly-Fumé should be fine, but hold back a few bottles of Blue Nun for later in the evening....

David

"Also, you may want to seek out the Diana version of the 'Candle in the Wind'. Modern digital recording will I'm sure sound awesome on your system."

Thanks for you kind words, David, but do you mean there's another version than the one dedicated to Diana, the People's Princess? Why do it all over again? Surely it's impossible to get the same feeling? I was a huge fan (of Diana's, naturally: in fact, Angelina does her hair the same way, as a sort of tribute).

Digital recording is the best. When I go to the record store I ask the manager (or in case he's not available, an assistant) to make sure what I get is DDD. It goes without saying I didn&rsquot get a topflight system to listen to antiquated shoehorn recordings, I'm sure you&rsquod agree.

Is Mr. Parry a Rider, too? Even though he's not from T.W.? Of course, I'd be delighted to meet him, he seems a man of taste and acumen.

Pray what is Blue Nun - some limited cuvée Burgundy. I suppose?

There's something funny with old herm's writing software: I have never written so many 'French' words in my life - entrée level, fumé, cuvée. Pretend French, no doubt. (Angelina speaks various languages, as an erstwhile flight attendant. It's convenient when we have to go on a trip in Europe, though fortunately most French in their right mind understand English when you're ordering. You can't blame 'em, what with their economy.)

Pardon me for digressing. I noticed old herm had a swimsuit poster of Sabrina, the teenage witch on the wall. Swinsuit as in bikini. It's a little pathetic for a middle-aged man, wouldn't you say so?

Herman (the new one)

I believe it was this young woman, indeed, Nick, only seen - how should I put it? - rather more from the rear.

I don't claim to be an expert on these matters. Obviously we don’t watch daytime tv, we're too busy visiting fairs etc looking for nice antiques and pots for Angelina's flowers.

I'd recommend, incidentally, to disregard all comments my predecessor appears to be making from the Padded Cell. This has to be a software glitch. The old herm was supposed to be a thing of the past, and now I see why.

Herman (the new one)

Jesus! I thought she was a moose, just goes to show the power of Photoshop. Or indeed my blindness/poor taste.

Me 27, her 26 umm..

No excuse for PT though mate, still erm, not my cup of tea.

Is that new erm or old erm?

Alex

quote:

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Pray what is Blue Nun - some limited cuvée Burgundy. I suppose?

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Wrong tack entirely, (new)Herm.

Blue Nun, to the LR's, is a somewhat tacky but, nonetheless, quite entertaining underground video of Julie Andrews. It relates specifically to her rather sordid audition for 'The Sound of Music'. David naturally assumed that you may be able to get hold of a, how shall we put this, 'unsullied' copy.

Dave

is nothing sacred?

Mr Dave,

You are pulling my leg, aren't you? Julie Andrews is a enchanting actress and singer. 'Edelweiss' is an wonderful song, and I have no wish to even ponder this trick video you are alluding to, which no doubt features gross and salacious 'humor' young unattached men can't live without these days, alas.

I'm having serious second thoughts about this whole new herm business. I had not visited the Forum for some weeks - Angelina and I were busy looking for some nice doilies to go with the new equipment - however it seems the tone has been lowered immeasurably.

Also I seem to be unable to locate my cherished indispensible copy of the Diana Memorial Music CD (with Elton John's 'Candle in the Wind', a true masterpiece), and I'm wondering whether the cleaning lady perhaps took it while we were away. I know she is a huge fan.

What am I to do (without this CD)? It's a impossibly delicate subject. I can hardy ask her if she took it. It's quite difficult to find good cleaning persons nowadays. Any advice?

Herman (the new one)

http://forums.naim-audio.com/eve/forums?a=tpc&s=67019385&f=58019385&m=2151958695

Let us not forget that the Blue Nun scene originally featured the legendary Black Tower performance for those who savour the equal opportunities agenda in film making.

cheers

Nigel