The Grumpy Old Men whingeing thread

quote:

Originally posted by Chillkram:

quote:

Yoy can always have breast reduction surgery

But then I'd have to throw out all my bras!

No you wouldn't.
You could hang them in the larder to hold your fruit and veg.

I'm already using my old tights for that!

Besides, being over 40 now, my fruit and veg no longer require much holding!

quote:

Originally posted by Roy T:
I think the old gits should celebrate (with a mug of ovaltine).

And a trip to one of the Jenny Agutter links. Remember when you thought that Logan's Run was a good idea for all those old gits over thirty?[/QUOTE]

I am an old git, and think Logan's Run is a better idea than ever. I refer of course to the viewing of the semi-clad young Ms. Agutter.in a film, not the original snuff concept.

25 year old women who think I'm too old for them

Grumpy older than me men and women who look at me with a dirty look when I take the last small shopping trolley in tesco's, you know the ones, that look that kinda says, " You should have taken a big trolley and left the small one for me "
I suggest they get up early enough to do some stretching exercises so they can reach the bottom of the big trolley for their daily sport or woman's own.

Chaps

I do not regard myself as grumpy but certain things get me irritated.

The worst are people who talk loud when using mobile phones. I would like to seize the bloody things from their hands and insert them right up inside their rectums. This would prove to them what a pain in the ass they are.

I hate people who wave their hands in a small circle and say chia or whatever the daft Italian expression is. Why cannot they just say..see you soon or goodbye like the rest of us.

Finally middle aged men, who have piles of dosh in the bank and then try to act like a 1960's free loving hippy. If you are a capitalist..be honest and act like one.

Regards

Mick

Great to see Mick chiming in!
Had a flash about this thread at lunch today, some gabby woman was barricading the salad bar having some useless chat while 10 of us were trying to fill our bowls with vegetables.
Rude.
David

Women who don't understand the importance of high fidelity music reproducing systems in the home!

.....And the fact that new cables/plugs/isolations shelves are more important than the kids' school shoes!

Mark

Bloody supermarket carrier bags that take ages to separate.

Bloody TV ads that come on immediately after the opening credits of ER.

Grrr I'm 40 now and it's whinging all the way from here on in!

Having to translate what's on sales items:

Precision screwdriver sets: means the screwdriver looks like a corkscrew after you used it once.

Especially suitable for..: there is only one thing it's not completely useless for.

Does not contain any preservatives: After the artificial coloring and flavors killed all lifeforms, preservatives were redundant.

Brand New Formula: the old formula still contained a remotely decent component.

Up to 50% off the price.

Inglisch spoken .

and on and on and on...

What about football matches that do not start at 3:00pm Saturday?

With matches now starting on odd days and at even odder times throughout the week I don't know how I'm going to find the time to don my cloth cap and take the whippet for a run on match days and how do I know what is happening in the sporting world when The Sporting Pink is no longer published on a Saturday evening?

quote:

Originally posted by Richard Brown:
Bloody supermarket carrier bags that take ages to separate.

Which the till operator can mysteriously separate in microseconds, and then give you a pitying look that says 'why are you allowed out with your gnarled arthritic fingers?'

Bloody mobile phones
Bloody mobile phones
Mobile phones
Bloody mobiles
MOBILE FUCKING TELEPHONES!!!!

Very pissed about cheery wankers on television telling me how to get FreeView as though the digital/analogue dichotomy were somehow above me without their sub-GCSE explanations.

I would rather the advertising budget were zeroed and the money put towards arranging universal FreeView coverage. I am still debarred in my far from out-of-the-way suburban location.

Fraser

quote:

Originally posted by Earwicker:
Bloody mobile phones
Bloody mobile phones
Mobile phones
Bloody mobiles
MOBILE FUCKING TELEPHONES!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:

quote:

Originally posted by Earwicker:
Bloody mobile phones
Bloody mobile phones
Mobile phones
Bloody mobiles
MOBILE FUCKING TELEPHONES!!!!

I've just worked out how to make my 'phone play a one note at a time rendition of Trumpton Riots (HMHB) and nobody's rung me since.

6 6 6 6 5 4 4 4 5 4 4 2 4
0 4 5 6 6 6 6 5 4 4 4 5 4 4 2 4

Tempo=225

That does the verse.

quote:

Originally posted by ROTF:
I've just worked out how to make my 'phone play a one note at a time rendition of Trumpton Riots

But have you worked out how to stop it?

On the whole, I'm a card-carrying technophile, but by fuck I hate mobile phones... if there's one gadget I could uninvent, that would be it.

The fact that 'Marathon' is now called 'Snickers'.

Mark

quote:

Originally posted by Earwicker:

quote:

Originally posted by ROTF:
I've just worked out how to make my 'phone play a one note at a time rendition of Trumpton Riots

But have you worked out how to stop it? .....

or there's a personal version here

quote:

Originally posted by ROTF:
or there's a personal version here

Cool! Now I know what I want for Xmas!

The pathetically low content quality of virtually all TV programmes here in the U.S. To prevent me ranting while she watches, my wife has bought me one of those children's guns that fires a dart with a sucker on the end, so I can now simply shoot the people on the TV and not shout at them. It's actually quite good therapy.

Mark

quote:

Originally posted by Mark Dunn:
The pathetically low content quality of virtually all TV programmes here in the U.S. To prevent me ranting while she watches, my wife has bought me one of those children's guns that fires a dart with a sucker on the end, so I can now simply shoot the people on the TV and not shout at them. It's actually quite good therapy.

Mark

I've been forced to watch 'Will & Grace' a couple of times and did not come near to laughing once. What a load of utter sh1te. I'm told this is one of America's better shows! What can the others be like?

Hi erik,

Re:

>>I've been forced to watch 'Will & Grace' a couple of times and did not come near to laughing once. What a load of utter sh1te. I'm told this is one of America's better shows! What can the others be like?<<

It's like the Chinese water torture... but mostly without the Chinese.

Mark