My Dream Invention, asap:
Posted by: Berlin Fritz on 17 June 2005
The Chief and I both live in a very beautiful part of this great City (namely Charlottenburg) who's palace from Queen Charlotte on our doorsteps will very very soon be exactly 300 years old. The streets are full at present of cafe's & restaurants filling the pavements with tables and happy people, tourists, & kids running about in every daylight hour screaming and playing, various music loud & quiet coming from a multiude of different nationality inhabited windows, with young swallows playing & screaming (very loudly with their larger Magpies etc, which are even louder)(I'm on the 4th floor, so see them close up-quite brilliant they are too). An almost perfect scenario in anybody's book (of which it truly is) except one particular aspect, which is unfortunately standard in many a world City's thriving neighbourhood. If one is a student (serious) it's really only possible to work properly at night, and if one is boringly (dare I say it) at home a lot like myself (through-choice, to read, etc, and play Padded Cell/ nothing to do with unemployment) it can be mind-blowingly frustrating at times, as I'm sure many of you may well know !
I refer, If you havent already guessed it ? to the endless car horns that beep beep beep almost 24/7, waking babys (often their own) cause alarm & aggression (now it's very hot- for a short time/tempers to-boot) and generally for absolutely no reason whatso'ever besides downright ignorance, arrogance, stupidity, and selfishness³ 24/7. I can handle babys screaming all night (that's life) I can handle neighbours partys (loud music, screaming etc) I can handle drunks walking home, shouting in the street, etc, etc, but I can't accept this absolutely non-sensicle Mega Stress factor³ which although illegal is almost impossible to control at times(most of the time in fact).
My Dream invention would be; (If I was very rich ! I'd finance the inventor thankfully & generously) to produce a 'Spielberg' like Sci-Fi device that automatically blocked the electrics of 'ANY' motor vehicle that beeped it's horn (or rather the driver) without a legal reason to do so 'for at least an hour' (easy to spot their indignance they'd be motionless) angry mothers could/would throw the Gerry contents at them, etc (one idiot is doing it this very minute to pick up his girlfriend, not once, but 5 times), ie, on a motorway, or cut up situ like Steve no doubt often encounters, and as a driver, I myself in the past have often experienced as well in London/ Berlin & Poland, not to mention Peckham (honnist) but very rarely needed the horn (shouting & threats sufficed). If Technology is eventually going to exist for money making road tax schemes in UK etc, I reckon this one will appeal to EVERY City on earth. to finally put a stop to the moronic bastards³, innit.
Fritz Von Pass us me shotgun Scrotum (My old Butler & wrinkled retainer for those not in the know) innee :
Without exaggeration I've heard some 60-70 raps since writing this stuff alone (fuck I've gone mutton) just like Our Mick when it's his shout
I refer, If you havent already guessed it ? to the endless car horns that beep beep beep almost 24/7, waking babys (often their own) cause alarm & aggression (now it's very hot- for a short time/tempers to-boot) and generally for absolutely no reason whatso'ever besides downright ignorance, arrogance, stupidity, and selfishness³ 24/7. I can handle babys screaming all night (that's life) I can handle neighbours partys (loud music, screaming etc) I can handle drunks walking home, shouting in the street, etc, etc, but I can't accept this absolutely non-sensicle Mega Stress factor³ which although illegal is almost impossible to control at times(most of the time in fact).
My Dream invention would be; (If I was very rich ! I'd finance the inventor thankfully & generously) to produce a 'Spielberg' like Sci-Fi device that automatically blocked the electrics of 'ANY' motor vehicle that beeped it's horn (or rather the driver) without a legal reason to do so 'for at least an hour' (easy to spot their indignance they'd be motionless) angry mothers could/would throw the Gerry contents at them, etc (one idiot is doing it this very minute to pick up his girlfriend, not once, but 5 times), ie, on a motorway, or cut up situ like Steve no doubt often encounters, and as a driver, I myself in the past have often experienced as well in London/ Berlin & Poland, not to mention Peckham (honnist) but very rarely needed the horn (shouting & threats sufficed). If Technology is eventually going to exist for money making road tax schemes in UK etc, I reckon this one will appeal to EVERY City on earth. to finally put a stop to the moronic bastards³, innit.
Fritz Von Pass us me shotgun Scrotum (My old Butler & wrinkled retainer for those not in the know) innee :
Without exaggeration I've heard some 60-70 raps since writing this stuff alone (fuck I've gone mutton) just like Our Mick when it's his shout
Just move to Denmark Phritz. 99.99% of Danes haven't a clue where the horn button is because they've simply never used it. They are just too polite to honk each other. They are also too polite to notice another driver. So no eye contact allowed! That way they can take their pound of flesh on the road without considering they might just have gridlocked Europe, The Near East and most of North Africa. 
quote:Originally posted by Mick Parry:
Fritz
Anyone who tonks their horn and keeps you awake has my utmost respect.
Regards
Mick VonwhyshouldunemployedlayaboutsbeallowedtosleepanywayParry
I had a bloody good larf at that one Sir, time for my hangover milk coffee methinks (fresh of course):
Fritz Von I got some footbball tickets on e-Bay last night, but I've now heard it's illegal ?
quote:Originally posted by Deane F:quote:Originally posted by Mick Parry:
Mick VonwhyshouldunemployedlayaboutsbeallowedtosleepanywayParry
For all the vitriol Mick, you imitate Fritz's style. Perhaps you feel a strange attraction?
dEANO oLD cHAP ain't vitroL that stuff they sell in the barbers next to the Jonnies ?
Much chewier Bruce