Angela Merkel Soon To Resign:

are you suggesting that there is a redundant house painter waiting in the wings??

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training. One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks. The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people, "What are these guys in the big suits doing?" One of the astronauts said that they were practicing a trip to the moon. When his son relayed this comment, the Navajo elder got all excited and asked if it would be possible to give to the astronauts a message to deliver to the moon.
Recognizing a promotional opportunity when he saw one, a NASA official accompanying the astronauts said, "Why certainly!" and told an underling to get a tape recorder. The Navajo elder's comments into the microphone were brief.
The NASA official asked the son if he would translate what His father had said. The son listened to the recording and laughed uproariously. But he refused to translate. So the NASA people took the tape to a nearby Navajo village and played it for other members of the tribe. They too laughed long and loudly but also refused to translate the elder's message to the moon. An official government translator was summoned. After he finally stopped laughing, the translator relayed the
message, "WATCH THESE ASSHOLES. THEY HAVE COME TO STEAL YOUR LAND."

Probably meant to say oil, poor chap ! innuit

'I am a Barleaner'

There were 12 Beck's bottles sitting on a wall

12 Beck's bottles sitting on a wall

And if 1 Beck's bottle should accidently fall

There'd be

OH NO ! Not 11

I can't believe this, but I'd sung that song excactly 9 times?


Then I heard JFK's named mentioned, freaky-Yup, or What?

A Brand New German/European Sat TV Channel is called NICK, and yes you've guessed it, is on exactly 666 on my er, tuner (Absolutely true).

I can only watch it when the lights are on

Gets about Dunnit?

Here's an excellent anorak site, innit

quote:

Originally posted by Tarquin Maynard-Portly:
Why not ask an IFA?

Yes ! That's very sound advice Tarquers, I reckon I'd employ the services of a fully qualified accountant as well if I found myself in such a situation, innit


P.S. I didn't realise that Arab/Muslim women quite openly breast fed their babys in public, even when wearing their long black thingys, and it's quite socially acceptable too apparently! and with here, and in most of Europe, nobody bats a bally eyelid (except the baby of course) (Choice on demand, innit)?


Nowt So Strange As Folk

Brrrp: 'That was inedible muck, and there wasn't enough of it'

Imagine being stationary, inside, moving, and outside, all at the same time! I expect that's why Our Steve prefers being a taxi driver to earning a 'living' shouting and being shouted at by a bunch of undiciplined, uninterested, Gobshite� morons who want to be just 'like their parents' when they 'grow up', innit


P.S. If little girls can choose what they'll be when they're big, why do so many just end up as old ladies then?

N.B. Apparently some British Health Trusts will now not treat 'Obese' patients with joint problems in order to save money !!! I wonder how many binge-drinking English & Welsh folk don't make it to work tomorrow as they'll still be in the pub BOOZIN?

So Brit War Heros are being shunned medically as well, How Gross! Really:

Because they get too big?

I heard of a normal little girl from Australia who became a successful estate agent, then overnight after a session in a Bar Boozin, a Princess, and then eventually a Queen!

But that's only a fairly tale, innit

There again, another little girl who was born a Princess, went on the piss, gave it all up, and married a poor middle-aged boring old civil servant called Crive

Husband & Wife goldfish in a bowl, and wife says to husband just as a third fish with filofax and attache case is swimming away:

"Do you really think we need an IFA Dear?"

One More Cup Of 'Milk' Coffee For The Road


That's True Love for you, eh !

I wonder which Major Projects, Israel will prioritise, and which it will put on the back burner, if & when the US stops sending them their Annual Mega-Financial package paid for by the American Peoples Tax Dollars?


As Egypt also recieves a similar amount as part of a long-ago 'agreement' I expect they'll have to 'have a think' as well, innit


Serious 24 hour drinking begins in England & Wales this evening for the first time ever, so if you happen to be in one of the 170 extablishments allowed to serve you (out of 80,000+) I trust you have a ball.

Some Tesco's etc, can sell late too, cheap piss up in a freezing carpark, sounds magic, dunnit Hurray For Tony Blair *****

'Pissed in our time'


I still haven't sussed why Bushy wanted to bomb him ???


Are secret C & A Prisons in Poland still secret ?

You can learn something new every day boys & girls

One can invest whatever one wants in my mini isa 24/7 You know it makes sense, innit

Coupla folks close to my thoughts have just landed safely in the Big Apple from their home in DC, over for the TG holiday. Unlike many people though (maybe it's getting better slowly ? hopefully !) they'll be thinking of them there Injuns that helped the first settlers survive those first winters so long afore, a point which strangely always gets forgotten in them there hero westerns, innit


Goodnight Pardners Yawl:


P.S. Africa's first ever elected Woman Leader also 'quite important' I thought! though I'm sure some brightspark may well quote 'Cleopatra'

Having just returned from a rather enjoyable evening of drinking all sorts of new exotic foreign cocktails, and educating my friend and her fox terrier 'Luna' in the art of baking the perfect Cornish Pasty (or 30) with some good sounds to-boot, the following rather bizzare thoughts just strangely sprang to mind (as they do) upon arriving home? Firstly! Dennis Thatcher! (God Bless Him) always referred to HM Gutter Press quite descriptively as (The Vultures), and to be honest watching the ever decreasing circles of George Bests life being pathetically ' taken advantage of over the last few days in the name of 'journalism' I tend to get his drift now (again) , big-style, and having not seen the news for some hours; the lad could well be brown bread now anyway? and they'll no doubt'll be ready with new targets of mock distress to ply an already sympathy/self-pity 24/7 drinking overkilled Nation with, innit

I suppose when Iraq becomes stable and fully Democratic in the next few years (hopefully), and after paying off all of its debts as well, it'll quite naturally wish to have a full Nuclear deterrent capability just like it's new Iranian Ally to maintain the newly found friendship and status quo in the region ? or will it be a case like present day Japan & Germany where everything is done for them, and they don't have to really worry about such silly old things, as the US, France, & The UK, are all there for them in this field always to hand ?


Ah Well; Goodnight said the nightman

Taken literally 5 minutes ago from my bedroom window I thought you had to use that little screen thingy too as it appens, innit ?

And this was just through the Square Window, ie, my Kitchen, wunnit: Note the school; built in 1899, by er (top right hand corner Masonic Emblem,) Blimey, what lucky Chaps you are today, innit

Whils't just perusing my local friday street market in the nerarby church square, an old boy came up to me and said quite indignantly "You bloody Engl�nders are the cause of our Gas prices going through the roof now, by invading Iraq for no bloody good reason, other than to cowtow to Bushy" I was shocked & Stunned, though not a little amazed too

Let's just hope that it's not the wrong kind of snow for Mr Darling and his clockwork Mickey MOuse train set then, cannie have excuses excuses, now can we, innit

What did you say. I could always have said I was a Norse, of ourse, I would have been rather embarrassed I think!

All the best from Fredrik

Let's just hope that it's not the wrong kind of snow for Mr Darling and his clockwork Mickey Mouse train set then, cannie have excuses excuses, now can we, innit

I didn't know that Georgie Best finished his career at 26? I saw his house in Hertford once, whils't I was working on cable troughs along the railtrack (it worked in those days), quite nice it was too, very modern (Cubist Glass on stilts), with a little stream running through the middle of it, unbelievably enough, Honnist

quote:

Originally posted by Fredrik_Fiske:
What did you say. I could always have said I was a Norse, of ourse, I would have been rather embarrassed I think!

All the best from Fredrik

Don't worry Our Fredders I will tell virtually nobody son

P.S. I said to him 'Too Bloody true Squire, I couldn't agree with you more" to which we shook hands, and went our separate ways, innit:

Just imagine what Murdoch's Punters & Shunters would have made of that one then?


TREASON::: Bundle him orf to bleedin Vietnam Post Haste, innit

quote:

Originally posted by Fredrik_Fiske:
What do you get if you cross a cabbage and a dog?

A Collie-dog.

Fredrik

I must admit I was very tempted! but thought to myself, No Fritz, you must hold yourself back son, or you'll lead yoursen astray again

N.B. Of course heating ones drum through canal water/heat pump is a marvellous advantage, assuming naturally that one has official permission to do so, and doesn't pollute the watter in the process, not to mention boiling the fishes and all in efluent, innit

Pretty bubbles in the ***

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:

[...].

Don't worry Our Fredders I will tell virtually nobody son.

[...].QUOTE]

Almost true! NOT!! Fred

PS. I have twenty minutes to kill before going off to work. Tell me why I hate Fridays! At least I have got the weekend to chill (yes I can't afford fuel, Hoho!), because the plant is being overhauled and modified for two days. Lord knows what Monday will bring. Never mind!

Just time for the Chromatic Fantasy and Fugue methinks, and then I can face anything!

Wot !" No Cantata John?

Anyone'd think that George Best was English the way that Our Matt's journo 'media' bunnies are going on, innit !!!

Did you hear the one about the drunken Paddy?
Or is this Racist?

Did you hear about the streaker who wanted to retire? He decided to stick it out for another year!

Fred