timekeeping

Well done, i take my hat off to you as i myself cannot stand bad time keeping [unless it is unforeseen problems]. When i say i will be somewhere at a specific time that means i WILL be there but you know what they say
Familiarity breeds contempt

P.S having read your post again they were certainly taking the piss

thankyou for ur agreement .... I just don't understand why they think im being irrational though?

nowt stranger than folk eh ?

Sounds like you need to take him to the pub and let him have it and give the reasons why. And then lead him to the local college to learn a bit of basic carpentry

Some people will always take advantage. They sound like people I would steer clear of.

richard999, RIGHT ON.
People who have no respect for others time & goodwill have no place on earth to expect anyone to continue to cooperating with them. They are simply not worth it, unless they see what they are doing & apologise, they are wasters, so just waste them from your people list.

Certainly I think you are being irrational. But not in the same fashion as your friends. What on earth are you doing going to all that trouble, even if they were on time, after A 12 hour stint?

A person needs their free time to retain sanity.

Learn to say 'bugger off' (or your own choice of negative) to any unreasonable request. No is not a bad word.

Take care of yourself fella.

And best of luck with your unappreciative 'friends'.

If I say i'm going to do something I stick to my work and do it.

quote:

Originally posted by richard999:
If I say i'm going to do something I stick to my work and do it.

Then you deserve the grief. wisen up.

thanks for that

quote:

Originally posted by richard999:
thanks for that

Anytime my downtrodden amigo.

Of, course, the mobile 'phone doesn't help. People who would have had to turn up punctually, in the pre-mobile age, now think that it's OK to call, or text, to say that they're running late.

If someone is getting a favour from you then they are the ones who should go out of their way to make it possible. In your position I would say they had blown it for you doing them a favour.

Why were they late, do they have an important job that requires them to work late often, or had they gone out for a drink after work, and did not care about meeting you?

If they are an interesting person, then keep in touch, but be aware if you are meeting up that you do it on your terms, ie. in a pub where you don't mind waiting if they are late.

Are they always late with all their friends, or are they on time with some of their friends. If the latter, then they are placing you in a pecking order, and if they do not value you more, then there are plenty more people in the world to get to know.

If they are late with everyone, then eventually they will learn that it is not acceptable, or they will spend more time alone, but it is their choice.

Although a lot of people say it is harsh, when a friend is getting more out of the friendship than you get, you have to decide if what you are getting is worth it, and if not ditch them. I have a friend who did that with many of their college friends when they realised that they had grown since leaving college, and many of their old friends had not, and their lives were just not compatible.

I too ditched a friend who was fantastic when sober, but violent when he got drunk. I gave him a couple of chances, but when he came into a pub where I was having drinks with people at a new job that was very important to me, frightened a couple of the women I was with, and then started a fight which lead to him being thrown out. I let him know through a mutual friend that I was no longer going to have any contact with him. I miss his conversation, but I was being judged by the company I kept that night, and it could have cost me dearly.

Vary simply, are they worth keeping in contact with, if they are, put up with it, but make sure you get what you want, if not, cut them loose.

Christ, things have gotten harder for women since I was young ...

quote:

Originally posted by mikeeschman:
Christ, things have gotten harder for women since I was young ...

Unfortunately, not my experience.

quote:

Originally posted by richard999:
thankyou for ur agreement .... I just don't understand why they think im being irrational though?

nowt stranger than folk eh ?

They're alright, you ask them...

Modesty and wit, nice to see you back, Adam.

Just ask them whether they would have been late if you were a tradesman waiting on them and they knew their tardiness would have cost them £50. Let them know firmly that you value their friendship but will not be taken for granted.
If they fail to see it from your side then it's time for a tough decision.
Regards,
Steve.

An old expression, but true in my view... "Punctuality is the courtesy of Kings"

We all know people who are habitually late. In doing this they are saying that their time is more important than yours, and thereby saying how much they value you.

I hate being late and usually end up hanging around on others to avoid it.

I think you did the right thing.

I was YOU, then realised by bending over backwards and being too keen to help friends they de-value your help and respect you less.

You've likely said enough, if they think you're in the wrong f'-em. With friends like that ...

Help the friends who appreciate you. Feed you when you help them, help you when you need it. For those who use you as a free tradesmen, tell them to ask someone else or pay someone !