Should Jerry & Tarquin get Pissed Together before their Wedding?

You know me! I ain't sayin nuffink John! but isn't it a shame that two lonely hearts such as Our Jerry and Our Tarquers have to quibble on here like a couple of limp wristed squibs, it just isn't cricket Ladies


What a shame too then that England & Germany can't possibly meet in the World Cup Final, innit:

quote:

Originally posted by Tarquin Maynard-Portly:
JeremyD

I've tried to find the thread you refer to on Naim, searching for the key words "wobble" and "swerve" but to no avail.


IMO you should carefully consider the bits in bold text: any joy from the Mods?

Yes you definately should watch out for the old wobbles & swerves, cos they can be well nasty if landed into the wrong hands, innit

Wotta Baat Der Rockers Then? Never Mind The Bleedin Mods!

I wonder if there are any fully qualified er, IFA's on this forum who'd like to comment upon what a car insurer would say to a motorist putting in a claim after he'd had a rather expensive accident whils't driving far in excess of the normal Public legal motorway speed limit, on a er, Private strip of land, that looks to all intense and porpoises remarkably just like a real motorway, in fact would he be insured, at all, at all, in the real world?


I don't think so somehow!!!

But You know me, I ain't sayin nuffin, Phew! Wasn't that a long old sentence?

Talking of long sentences, I wonder how Our Andy enjoyed his trip here to Berlin yesterday, or was it maybe another one of those deep Coppers jokes?

Well I larfed anyway

Parry's Office Has Just Sent Out The Official Christmas Card To All Of His Clients:

Had a job interview yesterday at 10:30, got there at 10:00 she saw me straight away, I left two and a half hours later, though I can't say too much at this stage, except that I was bloody glad to finally get out of there to have a decent fart in the fresh Berliner Luft, innit:

I've got another one in the moaning at 13:00hrs, so at least I'll be able to sleep in for once


N.B. Whils't having an interesting chat with a young Belgian chap last night who was originally from Ruanda, and is studying economics & engineering here (Financed by his parents I might add) I thought to myself those bloody never ending wingeing 'Dudes' on here; like Our Jerry, Tarquers, and Mick, to name but a few (You know me!) have really got absolutely nuffink to whinge about in the real world have they?, innit

I have though

quote:

IMO you should carefully consider the bits in bold text: any joy from the Mods?

Bold! Yes that's it: One has to be Bold

'I don't like cricket'


N.B. Apparently "Wuthering Heights" will be included as part of next years Englash A Level sillybus (The Bush Version). Though I wonder what Katey did next then? As you are all probably no doubt aware, a sillybus is a big red four wheeled vehicle that isn't a Routemaster, innit

As well as wondering how the Upton Park crowd will greet Arry when Portsmouth plays the lads soon, I was thinking to myself (as you do) that besides the obvious popularity of my own endless ramblings to mesen on here, and my famously humorous 'sparing' implimentation of full stops, etc, the only other main subject to get anywhere near the same top-rankins-Man, has been speeeeding on motorways, and coppers speeeeding on motorways drunk in fog, except when you've broken down on the M4 in Wiltshire, been er, nicked, run out of petrol, or been nuked by a passing B1 bomber based in Swindon, innit

So as the most successful financial venture in BBC history ever cashed in on was the good old Tellytubbies, will they now have enough dosh to pay out the compenstation claims of the now super-obese kids who blame their present predicament on early LaLa experiences?

We should be told I feel!


Large Hugs all round then

What with 'Parry & The Pensioned off Postmen' looking very likely to make the number 1 spot in the Christmas Charts this year with their brilliant rendition of that old Masonic favourite 'What's Your Ging Gang Goo Jack?', and Our Tony sighing a big sigh of relief for leaving the EU Presidency at last, before he wastes more time there, and fucks it up even further (His real words to his successor at number ten, being 'Well Our Jack! Thank fuck that's over then, not much PR gotten out of that one was there now?', things are generally looking up, innit. I mean if somebody said to you on a bright summer's day 'The Sky is Blue'
there'd be no need to rush outside to confirm the fact now would there? unless of course 'Dodgey Dossier Tony or Alisdaire were doing the talking that is. With that 'even' a fully qualified IFA, or indeed even a Consultant, don't really know if the light in the fridge is actually off when the door is closed now do they? it's just in their remit to convince you into believing it is so, so that's allright then, innit

As Sir Clifford Richard didn't serve in the last War, though being a Full (of it) British Citizen; though born in India to-boot, (unlike that whingeing pinko-waster S.Milligan of no fixed abode) you'd think he'd be Prime Minister by now wouldn't you, I mean if he was at number 10, Britain simply would be problem free, wunnit?


Maybe Jesus should do the job upon his return from making the DaVinci Code 5 ?

N.B. What's dafter than a young gorgeous blue-eyed pouting blonde of a young bride?

Her Husband:

Time now for somebody else to hog the middle lane methinks: Don't people who put smileys etc all over the fucking place really get on ones nerves at times, some folk are just soooo bally stoooopid?

Goodnight

quote:

Originally posted by jayd:
1972 Lotus Elan sprint. Or warm Nutella crepes.

Is not the latter what one gets after pigging out on walnut whips John?


Just consider the middle-aged English bloke who started a Lena Zavaroni fan club website; before you right Fritz off as a total internet forum lost cause/sad case, innit:

Bedtime Zeberdee:

quote:

Originally posted by Mick Parry:
Retirement what is that.

I am leaving home at 6 in the morning and got home at 10.30pm on Monday, 8.00pm Tuesday and 6.30pm today.

I am shattered

Regards

Mick

You are seemingly motivated by greed alone, and the're simply aren't enough hours in any given day for you to quash your obvious insatiable thurst/thrust for wealth & gold plated rhubarb forcers in the name of fair play and free markets, innit:


Regards

Fritz



Regards

Fritz

If there was a decent bloody railway system in the UK you'd get home on time of an evening for yer Brasso Our Mick, now wouldn't ee? innit

It was that Lord Wassissname that bloody done it, wunnit, never been the same since !

Clowns to the left of me Jokers to the right here I am ***

I do like the way you call a shovel a spade though son

I must admit I did feel a bit pissed off about only recieving four Christmas cards so far this week, innit


One knows when it's getting seriously colder here when the tv in the kitchen warms up much quicker with the window open! though as a 'certified' lazy good for nothing whingeing pinko-scrounger I shouldn't really moan now should I?

Any freezer door jokes? Boom Boom:

N.B. My friend who tragically lost her beloved Fox Terrier last week, rectified the situation yesterday by driving all the way down to some specialist kennels in Leipzig, and getting herself a new lickle baby one, altogether now, Aaaah.

I wonder if Our Ludders has been pining for the Fjords of late?

Course he made a fortune in selling little sachets of white powder that Lord Beeching Chap dinnee, pity he didn't concentrate on getting a decent postal service running smoothly for the nation though, wunnit!

Exceedingly good cokes they were too; by all accountants, according to those in the nose that is

quote:

Originally posted by Tarquin Maynard-Portly:
Graham

I'd rather eat my own spleen.

M

But think of all the lovely wedding presents Mike me old trooper, and after a skinful they all look the same anyway don't they, or so I'm reliably infoamed?


Doesn't One's Heart Really Go Out To All Those Cheeky Scousy Chappies Sometimes!

Yes! I think it's going to possibly be a red car day as I've just recieved two more cards, mind you that's still four outstanding, I know this as I sent the bloody things in the first place, perhaps the Deutsche Post sytem is actively practicing inefficiency in preparation for taking over Britain soon?

That reminds me: We haven't had our Christmas card from the bløødy cat yet! Fat, ungrateful git! He could end up as a Davy Crockett hat this time! Fur is back in too!

Wear your cat with pride!

Better than Mink: The fur with the stink!

A spleen is not just for Christmas!

quote:
Originally posted by Nime:
How true. Scandinavian cleaners' buckets are full of crystal clear spring water. They have more control over the superbugs too! They dunk the hospital beds in a hot washing machine. The patients come out squeaky clean too.


Of course as recent reports in the UK suggest regarding the efficiency of some 'Trust' operations, some 2%+ have to return to the table to correct initial mistakes, thus increasing the bug-risk even further, innit.

N.B. 2%+ of a lot, is er, a lot, and yes it does far excede normal 'returns' that run on average at about 0.04%

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:

N.B. 2%+ of a lot, is er, a lot, and yes it does far excede normal 'returns' that run on average at about 0.04%

Isn't that why they call it a "theatre"?

quote:

Originally posted by Nime:

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:

N.B. 2%+ of a lot, is er, a lot, and yes it does far excede normal 'returns' that run on average at about 0.04%

Isn't that why they call it a "theatre"?

Comic Opera sometimes more-like, and once again I emphasise this is absolutely no critisism of NHS Staff, just the moronic way they are structured, not to mention PFI Robbery across the Nation, and obviously as Our Bruce correctly reminds us all, 100% cleanliness is an impossibility, just as is 100% security (amounting to the same thing really), Britain just seems to think it's politic to play the never ending blame-game within it's own Class-ridden-Hypocrytical-inverted-Snobbery-infected-system, instead of correcting the fault logically at source, as most other European Countries have done now for almost an eternity!

You'd think that as some 0.5 Million Brits actually own property in France, they'd as well as learning the language properly, undertstand the plight of the poor farmers families they've oiked out in favour of their holday drums! Some are not letting themselves be wound up though, they're going to Spain instead to start their local ExPat Kingdom, plus the Lingo is 100 times easier to learn, and it makes them seem really clever, Dunnit Seno'r

quote:

Originally posted by Earwicker:

quote:

Originally posted by JeremyD:
As per your choice I will be writing to Naim, as promised.

Steady on Jeremy, that rather smacks of going crying to the teacher.

EW

'It's his party, and he can cry if he wants to***'

Where exactly is Stoke on Trent anyway John?

I was just contemplating what my favourite ever , 'favourite Movie' thread on here was/is?

Course now England's in €urope I'll probably say nuffink, you know me!

Anne Robinson:Q

In which film did Harry Lime say, "In Switzerland they had brotherly love, and they had 500 years of Democracy and peace. And what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!"?

Mathew Hoggard:A

One Flew Over The Cuckoo Clock.


AR:Q

According to popular singer Katie Melua in one of her recent songs, there are how many bicycles in Beijing?

Contestant:A

Ten?

AR: Nine Million

Eamonn Holmes:Q

King Robert 1 of Scotland was popularly known by what other name?

Contestant:A

Bob.


Taken from latest issue of you know where, wunnit:


Off to see the Wizard Now

quote:

Originally posted by Sicey:

quote:

Originally posted by BLT:
Watching motorsport on the telly sitting in a comfy chair while eating crisps and drinking beer and being given a BJ at the same time.

I like your style

You'd do allright in prison then John, half a pound of snout and Bob's yer Auntie, innit

Listened to a heart rendering story on the WS last night of a 19 year Sudanese girl who's suffering from a muscle wasting disease that's rendered her limbs useless. Despite this Mega-setback she literally crawls the 2 miles daily to school and back to educate herself in an uneducated land. Although up to about 12 year old level in Western terms, she's far ahead of the rest of her own local field, and will help build a future Sudan no doubt. The radio's description of her being given a wheelchair at last, and the constant grin on her way home that couldn't be wiped off for a milli-second whils't being pushed by her friend told a million storys I feel, and in my own personal view, she's Harder² and Braver³ than a whole Regiment of Green Berets, Marines, Seals, and CSO's put together, and that's a fact, innit:

N.B. Just had a good interview by the way, must wait another week, I did say I knew a Mr Parry (International Consultant) though; so wether that's an advantage or a Million €uro mistake remains yet to be seen, dunnit

I'm really shattered though, all that bloody hand shakin:

Probably the DT's eh?


Celtic seems Happy then

quote:

Originally posted by Fisbey:
Thought this was funny!

Where's the telly and the beer with crisps then?

quote:

Originally posted by Mick Parry:
Jeremy

Just learn to stand on your own two feet.

Regards

Mick

Excellent advice Our Mick! Far nobler than standing on other peoples, innit

Regards

Fritz

Correct