Are Babies Just **** machines?

Justwait ...till the baby smiles at you at about 4 months .... you'll forget all the negatives...

quote:

Originally posted by Jagdeep:
Justwait ...till the baby smiles at you at about 4 months .... you'll forget all the negatives...

Can they live that long without touching them?


Fritz von Papa don't preach*

Seven weeks until the end of my life.

Hmmmm!It's when they don't shite you have to worry....

They know it's you who condemned them to life, that's why they try so hard to shit on you!

EW

If you see someone dealing drugs - intimidating and threatening someone - or smashing a window - You won’t be allowed to dial 999. Instead you will have to pay 10p to call 101 since apparently, none of these crimes require an urgent Police Response! Then what does?

Whatever happened to getting a cop when you call a cop and how does this reflect the Government’s alleged policy of ‘tough on crime’?


Fritz von The youngsters of today eh!*

What would be the earliest signs of wether my baby will grow up to be Gay ot not, I'm thinking future schools here?

He will shove his dummy up his arse.

Congratulations on becoming a Father.

quote:

Originally posted by Stephen B:
Good food does indeed make life more enjoyable - even more so when it's home grown.

Looking forward to:

Rhubarb
Plums
Pears (non last year though)
Blackberries (big juicy ones)
Gooseberries
Blackcurrants

Haven't decided what veg to grow yet but I might have a third attempt at sprouts and a go at butternut squash.

Quite Right Quite Right, but will I have to call in a, er, rapid 'firearms' response unit (when they leave the pub that is) when baby has her first post Spinach Vindaloo nappy change?

I was actually born in Islington, but can't abide what it now stands for! especially as all the Mumsy's who have little girls from Eastern Europe looking after their kids there, throw their unbiodegradable (super expensive) pampers in the normal dustbins.


Fritz von Whatever happened to decent cotton shit holding nappies that will do yer compost heap, and subsequently yer rhubarb prood, innit*


Tough call at Upton Park today (I ain't sayin nuffink). I was drinking a swift half with my cid matey last night, and all of a sudden three uniformed rozzers marched in (highly unusual) and told Pascal my barman (best in Europe) to turn the Chuck Berry down, I was shocked & stunned, and before I could utter a word (as you do) my mate had his hand over my norf & saaf and said (Mr Don't say Nuffin) and I didn't, then they left, pissed us right off though, I'm gonna molotov that fuckin neighbour later, bloody Welsh git: (I'm not havin fun, so nobody else can either):

Where was I? ah yes! diapers, (Known here as windeln)*

A friend rang me earlier from Dresden to ask how he goes about educating himself to get qualified to become a father?


Fritz von I could only advise him to buy some naim underpants, and leave the rest to chance!*

Taken from today's Pink Salmon Show

#1 Today, 05:00 AM
garyi
Rabid Fan Response Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,093

Request from MatthewR

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well with a my shiny intel iMac I am enjoying a playable experience in UT, uinfortunatly I do not really understand what the kids are saying to me. No doubt its rudeness but a quick run down would be good.


Makes yer wonder how Our Matttt's got any spare time at all, at all, at the monent dunnit! wot with all the Journo/cameraman Hammers luvvy duvvying that must be done at the mo*


You know me John*


Is Our Fredders an Angel in disguise?

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
Is Our Fredders an Angel in disguise?

Dear Fritz,

Not an angel, but not all bad either.

All the best from Fredrik

The question is how can I stop abusing myself with this product, I mean passive reactions have already been noticed too?*


Fritz von President George W Bush was held last night at Washington's Aerodrome for over ten hours, after his name flashed up on the TERROR LIST, his close friend and advisor the Right Right Reverand Dr Iron Paisley (not Scotland) said to Customs officials (when they could finally get him out of the duty free bar) "Let him through Boys, I know his Dad" and it was sorted:


Fritz von Fredders I hear from good sources that you are indeed quite a card Son*

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:

[ On GW Bush...].

Fritz von Fredders I hear from good sources that you are indeed quite a card Son*

Dear Fritz,

A card, ahem! I wonder which you have in mind! Joker, Ace of Spades, Jack of Hearts!

Fredrik

A card Fredders, is a London term, which if you dinnie understand, I'm afraid yer cannie be taught, innit*



Fritz von I caught a Plimsoll and two contraceptives once in the London-Manchester canal, I didn't eat them though*

Dear Fritz,

I know what a card is! Only teasing you a bit, in a nice way, as I guess you know really!

A characteristic of being a card, perhaps! Go well, and all the best from Fred

Fredders, My people have just imfoamed me that Mr Toy, may well make an acceptable Transport Minister for the UK and all of its dominions, barring Spandau, as the Germans get far too many Gold Medals, and we can't have them taking over the Commonwealth Games now can we!*


Fritz von i Is Speechless!

Can't have then, can we! Fred

Knock knock,
Who's there ?
Grandad,
Oh fuck, stop the funeral!

Off out for bit. Christ I am tired. Fred

quote:

Originally posted by Mick Parry:
Andy

I think you are wasting your time and you are entrenched in a defensive position over a subject which requires no debate.

If you are daft enough to speed you stand a good chance of being caught. We all know the rules, so end of discussion.

Finally, you have to be scraping the bottom of the barrel to suggest the speed guns are inherently faulty.

If you are caught ....... tough.

Regards

Mick

Are Speed Guns Awailable on the NHS?


Regards,


Fritz von I don't know what I've done but I've done it again*

This is Maximillian who was born 6 days ago, he'll arguably never play for England, nor Scotland either, Ah well*



Fritz von He's a European² though, through and through*

Fritz

I respectfully suggest that you spew more shite than any baby in existance.

Regards

Mick

quote:

Originally posted by Mick Parry:
Fritz

I respectfully suggest that you spew more shite than any baby in existance.

Regards

Mick

As loved as Arry is at the Boleyn Ground, I suspect Hampshire will be loving him more this evening*


Fritz von When you actually get your bus pass Our Mick, will you know how to use it?*

Northern Norway 1979, Wunnit:

#7 Today, 08:07 AM
mike lacey
Pallets wanted,top prices Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,173

Even if I could understand it, there is no way I'd admit to doing so.
__________________
Fast and bulbous.


Ex Squaddie & Semi-Self-Employed IFA Tells the Whole Truth At Last


Taken from today's all new Pink Salmon Show, where Mick Parry's Banned from for being honest*

Surely there was room for more than that on the table! Fredrik