Letting 'er indoors choose the music...???

Posted by: Top Cat on 27 February 2002

Hi folks.

Tomorrow I borrow a Naim silver-disc spinner for a few days to see how I like it in the context of my system. I expect and demand to be blown away (well, at that price it's a requirement!) but the key thing here is persuading the lady in my life that spending a few big ones on a rather utilitarian-looking CD player and power supply is a worthwhile move.

"Of course," I hear you say, "it's all about how good it sounds."

Fine, dandy. But then this is the woman who really has her feet on the ground, so I've chosen a rather radical tactic. I'm going to let her listen to her music, choose the CDs and so on.

Is this wise? Will it work? I mean, heck, I admit to wanting to get her 'on side', and so I have promised her that she'll have equal say on the purchase - although I'll do the painful bit (holding folding).

Thing is, will my strategy work? Any tips as to how to win round the approval of our better halves in the face of serious hifi purchases?

Am I now stuck in a weekend of Fun Lovin' 'Criminals, Bowie, Crowded House, Macy Gray and (argh!) Anastacia (sp.?)????

TC '..'
"Girl, you thought he was a man, but he was a Muffin..."

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by herm

Hi TC,

talk about living dangerously!

My bet would be: just leave her and the machine alone for a while, so as to stop yourself from pointing out little sonic details all the time. She'll find out on her own. And she'll be begging you to make this purchase!

Herman

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by Top Cat

Yeah, I'll maybe see if she fancies a couple of hours in whilst I nip out for a quick swifty down the local...

When I come back I hope that she'll either be for it or against it, but my gut feeling is that she's not terribly hung up on sound quality, an admirable quality indeed (and one that we would all secretly like!) so I'm kinda anxious she says something like "it's nice, but too much money" (sanitised white-lie price quote aside )

TC '..'
"Girl, you thought he was a man, but he was a Muffin..."

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by Peter Stockwell

TC,

I don't know if she'll be as blown away as you. Any major purchase Amp, CD player, Speakers, etc these days I have my wife choose with me, to listen for the differences and comment the sound. She's chosen with me our last two purchases, speakers and amp. In your case, hile I'm sure 'Her, indoors' will enjoy the music, and more than her own choices too, she'll not necessarily be convinced by the c. £5k outlay. It's a pity that she'll not be able actively choose the player with you, as you might if you did the demo in a store with some other options (CD5, Ikemi, CD72, w.h.y.). The choice is a 'fait accompli' on your part, she's not choosing with you. You're just looking to avoid a fight with her, as I interprete what you say.

Peter

[This message was edited by Peter Stockwell on WEDNESDAY 27 February 2002 at 10:18.]

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by Top Cat

quote:
It's a pity that she'll not be able actively choose the player with you, as you might if you did the demo in a store with some other options (CD5, Ikemi, CD72, w.h.y.). The choice is a 'fait accompli' on your part, she's not choosing with you. You're just looking to avoid a fight with her, as I interprete what you say.

Well, she heard the Moon Eclipse and wasn't particularly impressed by it - and neither was I to be truthful - but she never had a chance to hear the CDX that Steven Toy brought up to try. Perhaps you're right about the 'fait accompli' thing - she knows I'll do what I ultimately want, and she's used to that (heck, she's been through it often enough) and perhaps it's less wanting to avoid a fight than to seek some kind of approval or validation. Hey, this is getting deep!

In the past, I've offered her the chance to come hear various things, but she really doesn't care for hifi shops, nor comparative demos, shows, whatever. She just likes music. That's why I want to let her alone with the machine, see what she herself thinks. I have a hunch I'm doing the right thing but such a purchase is a big commitment and so she has to like the thing in its own right (price aside - that's my issue, my pain!). She's also smarter than most - she knows that sometimes those differences us lot hear and describe as 'major' are in fact fairly minor in the context of the musical message - and that's where I think her 'buy-in' is essential... and her opinions extremely useful...

TC '..'
"Girl, you thought he was a man, but he was a Muffin..."

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by Robby

I always get my wife to listen to any potential upgrade.

She has a far better way of listening than I do. Sometime I get hung up on the smaller details and get carried away that it sounds better.

Her approach is definitely more of a "whole" musical presentation and will point out that a new machine may do this better but have I considered the other factors.

The other advantage is the upgrade nearly always turns out to be a joint purchase which releives some of the guilt from spending huge amounts of cash on black boxes!

Good luck!

Rob

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by Peter Stockwell

TC,

quote:
perhaps it's less wanting to avoid a fight than to seek some kind of approval or validation. Hey, this is getting deep!

OK, but it amounts to the same thing, you don't want the whole thing to become a major issue, I'm like that too.

quote:
She just likes music. That's why I want to let her alone with the machine, see what she herself thinks. I have a hunch I'm doing the right thing but such a purchase is a big commitment and so she has to like the thing in its own right (price aside - that's my issue, my pain!).

I believe she'll like it, my wife was unquestionably impressed with CDX/XPS. OTOH, when you say the payment is entirely your problem, that's maybe open to debate. As I understand it, 'Her indoors' is your fiancee ?, your finances may be separate now, they may become interlinked later, c. £5K buys some fine furniture, persian rugs or original artwork. So don't underestimate this angle.

quote:
She's also smarter than most - she knows that sometimes those differences us lot hear and describe as 'major' are in fact fairly minor in the context of the musical message - and that's where I think her 'buy-in' is essential... and her opinions extremely useful...

If she knows that you'll respect what she has to say, You should be on a good tack.

Peter

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by Bruce Woodhouse

One of the best outcomes of my investment in HiFi has been watching my wife develop an interest in music as a hobby and pleasure rather than just background. She spots changes and cares not a jot about the techie stuff, just enjoys the music. I would never take her to a dealer dem but always value her opinion on home dems.

The only snag i have ever had is convincing her to have 4 strands of NACA5 instead of the nice thin and discrete stuff we currently use.

Bruce

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by Steve G

quote:
Originally posted by Top Cat:

Thing is, will my strategy work? Any tips as to how to win round the approval of our better halves in the face of serious hifi purchases?

Of course you could try my strategy (although I expect there are a few folks out there who may not wish to communicate this to their other halves). Whenever I purchase a piece of hi-fi equipment then the agreement is that SWMBO has an equal account of cash to spend on something she wants. Of course this effectively doubles the cost of everything you buy but it certainly saves arguments...

Anyone else noticed that their wifes/partners can see the logic in spending £2K on a ring or a watch but not in spending £2K on a CD player etc?

Regards
Steve

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by ken c

...sanitised white-lie price quote aside

top cat!!! how horrible? did you just admit something there??

actually i am sad to say i do it all the time and am sort of ashamed of it. but i tend to be a little bit more subtle -- i lie about the trade-in price. "its only going to be an extra £1K if we trade in our CD2, which as you would agree, is quite old now". i never own up on the real price -- she would murder me!!! a year or 2 down the line, i might say -- you know that CD player that we bought for £1K trade-in, its now worth £4.5K (!!!) -- good investment heh!! absolutely evil.

back to your question. this idea of "leaving her alone" to listen to the unit NEVER worked for me. my wife (and women in general) i find do not really concentrate on listening to music in the way we do. this is an over-generalisation i know, but you get the drift. my better half will sometimes wander into my office and say "hmmm... that sounds nice" but very rarely does she actually sit down and have a record playing session like i would do. if she ever does, she would only start nagging me about "new kitchen" "sort out the bathroom" etc etc...

good luck!!!

enjoy

ken
ps: already thinking of a strategy for the next potential upgrade - SL2

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by Willy

quote:
Originally posted by Top Cat:
Any tips as to how to win round the approval of our better halves in the face of serious hifi purchases?
_"

Late last year my system was decomissioned during some building rework. Stored safely under the bed (no not the briks). When it was duly reinstalled teh flatcap/hicap had morphed into a supercap and teh (silver) ittok was now a (Black) ekos. Never even got noticed.

Living dangerously,

Willy.

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by ken c

willy,

ah!! now thats familiar!! yeah, some components have been known to just "turn" up. nac82 to nac52 was a real doddle. the second 250 for my active duo was also surprisingly easy. the cdsii, hmmm... that needed a few triple somersaults!!!

enjoy

ken

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by Bosh

My dealer once gave the gave away some years ago (big mouth), by relaying such stories as these and that of customers covertly handing over bags of cash. Unfortunately this was done in the earshot of er indoors.

She made me promise I wouldnt ever deceive her like this. The problem is she dusts and cleans and I cook and iron. Still, she probably wouldnt notice the CDSPS to XPS box swap were it to develop a fault

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by herm

Goes Without Saying

TC: sanitised white-lie price quote

Willy: When it was duly reinstalled the flatcap/hicap had morphed into a supercap and the (silver) ittok was now a (Black) ekos. Never even got noticed.

Ken: yeah, some components have been known to just "turn" up.

Hi TC

After all these bits of advice & confession you will give us a play by play report on what's going to happen, won't you?

I'm sure things will go just fine, 'er sounds just great.

Herman

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by Top Cat

I'm hoping that the fact that the CDS-II/XPS looks pretty basic will fool her into believing it costs less...

Of course, maybe she'll hate it (maybe I will too) - in which case it won't matter a damn either way. However, unless you buggers have been exaggerating the pedigree of the CDS-II/XPS over the CDX, I suspect I will be somewhat impressed...

TC '..'
"Girl, you thought he was a man, but he was a Muffin..."

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by garyi

Top Cat, this is simple, with the money you will save with your discount buy her something nice.

Bribery. Works every time.

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by herm

Great Stuff, Cheap looks, Noone Will Ever Know

TC: I'm hoping that the fact that the CDS-II/XPS looks pretty basic will fool her into believing it costs less.

Well, that's the genius of Naim isn't it? These guys were thinking ahead!

Herman

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by Willy

quote:
Originally posted by herm:
_Great Stuff, Cheap looks, Noone Will Ever Know_
TC: I'm hoping that the fact that the CDS-II/XPS looks pretty basic will fool her into believing it costs less.
Well, that's the genius of Naim isn't it? These guys were thinking ahead!
Herman

Genius? Could have been a bit more subtle with the Fraim packaging. Went out to get a few last minute items on Christmas eve. Came home with a Fraim. Impossible to disguise those four huge boxes, carried in one at a time past 'er indoors. Had there been another box I'd have needed body armour to survive the look. It doesn't take a genis to spot quality (read expensive) packaging. With hindsight I should have assembled it remotely and brought in in in one pass in a shit-brown cardboard box labelled MFI. Fortunately next upgrade is a cartridge. Wee buns!

Willy.

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by Martinm

Mate don't lie whatever you do! It will bounce back and bite you on the arse when you are not expecting it!

She will know how much you want it and that you are paying for it, and she sounds very reasonable for agreeing to let it into the house in the first place - I think this is 95% of the battle.

My other half would be happy to spend £3-4k on a plasma screen yet if(I mean when I) i suggested doing this on a CD player she laughed in that kind of sod off and think again way. I pointed out that I listen to more music than watch TV and therefore of equal value to me.
So remember its about priorites - Hers!

Seriously be honest, upfront, argue reasonably, don't assume she doesn't want or you will convince her she doesn't, and if all else fails puppy dog eyes!

Good luck
Martin

PS if it does work let us know the secret!

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by Alex S.

If all else fails you can put the hi-fi in a different building altogether. That's what I did.

Anyway, DNM looks reassuringly placed in the Fisher Price price bracket

I shed expensive PSUs at the same rate that I seem to gain expensive daughters. Blank shelves leave me looking suitably poverty stricken. A large bank of green lights does little to pursuade clients that one's rates are bargain basement.

Luckily, the pods just make people roll about laughing and forget about money altogether.

Alex

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by Derek Wright

Whenever an opportunity to splash the cash on something decadent is discussed (but is affordable) we hark back to an advert in the London Tube for a holiday firm
The advert showed two very old folk sitting together with the caption

"Remember when we almost went to Istanbul on that weekend break in 1975"

Remember you cannot take it with you and you do not know when you will have to leave it behind.

Derek

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by Willy

Would concur with Martin about never lying. That's a complete no no. When she finds out (note I say when not if) the price to pay will be painful. However, omitting to mention that you've blown several grand on a power supply, yes along the same lines as the one that runs your son's train set, well that could happen to anyone.

There was something on a radio a couple of months back about the purchases partners hide from each other. Women hide the purchase of clothes, shoes and such. With men it's gadgets, surprisingly not. However there was something like 2% of men had hidden the purchase of a car! Puts into perspective what complete amatuers we are.

Willy.

Posted on: 27 February 2002 by RandallE

I'd warn her ahead of time about the puck. Tell her that a big reason the Naim CD player sounds better(or so we hope), is greater mechanical integrity. That it reads more bits on the disk because the disk isn't wobbling around compared to other players, and the player doesn't have as many unread bits to guess(or some pseudo tech tripe like that).

Posted on: 28 February 2002 by Derek Wright

When trying to justify the expenditure on a new must have - explain the cost of Rest Home care, and that the rest home care costs will eat up your savings before being picked up by the social services or public purse.

Currently one can expect tp pay at least £1400 pm in the south of the UK for rest home, so a 500 can be equated to about 7 months in a rest home -

Do without the 500 for n years and then spend extra money on your rest home fees

Get the 500 and the 552 etc and enjoy for many years and run out of cash earlier and let the public purse pay for your rest home. No contest

Derek

Posted on: 28 February 2002 by Dave J

Stands, for example. Well they're really furniture aren't they, not 'hi-fi' at all and the conversation went something like....

(Me) "Wouldn't it be a good idea to get rid of those hideous (Sound Organisation/Target)stands and replace them with something that looks nice?"

(The Boss) " Now there's a good idea"

(Me) "What do you think of these?" (whilst nonchalantly handing over the Fraim brochure)

(The Boss) "Yes, they're much nicer"

Dave

Posted on: 03 March 2002 by Top Cat

This upgrade seems worthy of the ultimate sacrifice. Man, next month is going to be soooooo expensive..!!!

Happy, though, as this was in the pipeline anyway!!!!

TC '..'
"Girl, you thought he was a man, but he was a Muffin..."