Have I become a nerd?
Posted by: erik scothron on 27 April 2006
There I was sitting in Borders and feeling totally normal when I was overcome by a strange desire to read a chess book. This example of white to move and mate in three moves had me laughing out loud. Surely only a nerd would find such a thing amusing? Winning at top level international chess in only 11 moves - not unique maybe but hardly common and I was very surprised by the dazzling finish.
The realisation I might have become a nerd has worried me so much that after lunch at my local nosherie I felt obliged to tip the attractive waitress a most generous 50p and smack her arse for her. Thus proving I have returned to normality.
The first to find the solution wins …er…great glory and much renown in the forum.
White to move and mate in three.
Posted on: 27 April 2006 by u5227470736789439
Too bloody hard for me, three bottles of beer on, but Dear Erik, please look at mY Thread right adjacent, which makes me look thick and naive to a scary degree!
You are not a nerd by the way in my view!
Fredrik
Posted on: 27 April 2006 by kuma
Eric,
What do you mean by *become a nerd*?
You always have been.
And with this post, you are now a uber nerd.
Posted on: 27 April 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by kuma:
Eric,
What do you mean by *become a nerd*?
You always have been.
And with this post, you are now a uber nerd.
Moi? Pistols at dawn Mr.Kuma?
Posted on: 27 April 2006 by Cosmoliu
I believe that a laminated nerd card is required for admission to this forum.
Norman
Posted on: 27 April 2006 by Steve Toy
Erik,
You are challenging Ms. Kuma to a duel. I guess she's prefer that to your smacking her arse.
I could be wrong though.
Posted on: 27 April 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by Steve Toy:
Erik,
You are challenging Ms. Kuma to a duel. I guess she's prefer that to your smacking her arse.
I could be wrong though.
Steve,
Kuma is a woman? I had no idea. I have never posted a reply to Kuma before and nor has Kuma, to my recollection ever posted a reply to me. I have never been called a nerd before. I doubt I've ever done a single nerdy thing in my life. I have never, for example, been trainspotting, bird watching or collected stamps. I have never played a computer game in my life.
I have, however, smacked a few arses and in all cases I am pleased to say the arse smacking was greatly appreciated. Of course some complained a bit and wriggled around somewhat but once they realised that resistance was futile they soon got the hang of it.
Where is Ms.Kuma from I wonder?
Regards,
Erik
Posted on: 27 April 2006 by joe90
I played a lot of chess at high school - and was quite good.
I once played a game vs 12 other players, where I was the least good. We'd all play very quickly - 1 min per move - and then all move round one seat to the right.
I lost 12 times and have never been more exhausted in my life.
Next week I slaughtered my friend, previously having struggled to beat him on most occasions.
Chess is VERY good for the brain.
I think the Russians did some tests on which of their atheletes had the fastest reactions, expecting it to be the sprinters. Apparently the chess masters are miles ahead...
So no, you are not a nerd. and if you were, who cares?
Is Kuma really a girl?
Posted on: 27 April 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by joe90:
Apparently the chess masters are miles ahead...
Yo Joe,
I have a friend who beats me blindfolded. If anyone thinks that may be due to my complete stupidity I would ask them how long it took them to solve the puzzle. It did not take me very long.
For those that wonder how anyone can play blindfolded, consider this - Miguel Najdorf (A Polish International Master)played 45 opponents SIMULTANEOUSLY in Sao Paolo in 1947, with the result of 39 wins, 4 draws and only 2 losses.
Blinfold Chess Chess is indeed VERY good for the brain.
Regards,
Erik
Posted on: 27 April 2006 by Gianluigi Mazzorana
quote:
Originally posted by erik scothron:
The first to find the solution wins …er…great glory and much renown in the forum.
White to move and mate in three.
Mhhhhhh!
Hard to say if you don't have black moves.
Ciao Erik!
My father, as an artillery officer, has been introduced to chess while in the academy.
He tried to teach me and, when i was about 10, we had some long matches.
Now i can't remember any of the strategies but only the basics.
Anyway i think that if you find a good playmate chess can become a very nice game!
Bishop in e-2.
Posted on: 27 April 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:
Mhhhhhh!
Hard to say if you don't have black moves.
Bishop in e-2.[/QUOTE]
Ciao Gianluigi,
Blacks moves are not an issue. Bishop to e2 lands you in all kinds of bother.
Yes, chess is a very pleasant way to spend some time with a friend and a glass of wine with some decent music on in the background.
All the best,
Erik
Posted on: 27 April 2006 by Gianluigi Mazzorana
Come on Erik!
Your next move is.....................
Posted on: 27 April 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:
Come on Erik!
Your next move is.....................
How about knight takes f2 (with a three way fork of white's queen and BOTH rooks? How will white now get mate in 2 moves?
Posted on: 27 April 2006 by Gianluigi Mazzorana
Then white bishop goes f-2 and beat knight.
Posted on: 27 April 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:
Then white bishop goes f-2 and beat knight.
Well, neither of white's bishop can re-take f2 so you will lose a move by moving a bishop to attack f2 but before you get the chance to actually take f2 the knight would have eaten Her Majesty for breakfast.
The aim here is for white to mate the black king in only 3 moves Gianluigi and you have already used 2 moves and still no mate in sight.
William of Baskerville would have solved this in no time at all but poor Salvatore would still be struggling after 6 months.
I'm not giving clues until later this evening and so the torture must continue.
Yours,
Bernardo
Posted on: 28 April 2006 by Mabelode, King of Swords
quote:
Where is Kuma from I wonder?
Kuma is a self-proclaimed Engrish (sic) speaking Jap
Steve
Posted on: 28 April 2006 by Rasher
I'm still just a 13 year old girl called Rachel.
Didn't you realise Erik that we here are all teen girls on an internet chat room? Are you really an old bloke? I'm going to have to tell my mum about your bum smacking - she'll probably ban me from coming here again.
Posted on: 28 April 2006 by Gianluigi Mazzorana
quote:
Originally posted by erik scothron:
Well, neither of white's bishop can re-take f2 so you will lose a move
Ops.....
Meanwhile i've been to the doctor for pills and in a near farm to see pups.
I need to rethink my strategy then.
I'm a slow one, dear Erik.
I've learned to crawl to the obj..........
Ciao e buona giornata!
Gianluigi
Posted on: 28 April 2006 by Gianluigi Mazzorana
quote:
Originally posted by Rasher:
Didn't you realise Erik that we here are all teen girls on an internet chat room?
WHAT?????????
I'm a 50 old fat bosomy big motherly cheering mummy and.................still looking!
Posted on: 28 April 2006 by Gianluigi Mazzorana
quote:
Originally posted by erik scothron:
William of Baskerville would have solved this in no time at all but poor Salvatore would still be struggling after 6 months.
Yours,
Bernardo
Magnifentissimo!
ma............no puede make it porque stuppido
stuppido.
Salvatore
Posted on: 28 April 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by Yo-yo Master:
quote:
Where is Kuma from I wonder?
Kuma is a self-proclaimed Engrish (sic) speaking Jap
Steve
How wonderful. I must chat with her about Japanese SET amplifiers.
Posted on: 28 April 2006 by Gianluigi Mazzorana
quote:
Originally posted by erik scothron:
..........her..........
Her?
Posted on: 28 April 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by Rasher:
I'm still just a 13 year old girl called Rachel.
Didn't you realise Erik that we here are all teen girls on an internet chat room? Are you really an old bloke? I'm going to have to tell my mum about your bum smacking - she'll probably ban me from coming here again.
Hello Rachel, do you have any sisters over the age of 16? I admit to being an old bloke (48 no Naim gear on profile)but a 17 year old who works in Forfars says she fancies me. I'm terribly tempted by her buns.
Posted on: 28 April 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:
quote:
Originally posted by erik scothron:
..........her..........
Her?
Yep. According to Steve Toy earlier in this thread Mr.Kuma is really Ms.Kuma.
Posted on: 28 April 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:
quote:
Originally posted by Rasher:
Didn't you realise Erik that we here are all teen girls on an internet chat room?
WHAT?????????
I'm a 50 old fat bosomy big motherly cheering mummy and.................still looking!
You sound old enough to be my wife and that means you are far too old for me
Posted on: 28 April 2006 by Gianluigi Mazzorana
quote:
Originally posted by erik scothron:
You sound old enough to be my wife and that means you are far too old for me
Ufffff!
My pink almond dress is getting the moths!
