Guilty Pleasures.

Fredrick

What an interesting post; one I find tinged with resignation and sadness. Perhaps I misread it. Certainly when I am down I reach for music to lift me up - The Smiths always fix it for me. I have suffered from stress and anxiety for the past two or three years and have learned a lot about myself over that time, and now know not to dwell on what may or may not have been, or whether I am sufficiently successful in others' eyes. Overanalysis is not a good thing I feel.

I am not sure what you are seeking from the replies to this post, but I sincerely hope you find it.

Nigel

Dear Nigel,

There is no help as such, that does not come from within. People who know me tell me I think too much, and it always turns to a question of what one is doing with one's life, and is it any use to others. What use is there in anything if it does not benefit others to an extent. Hence the thought that any pleasure is somehow a selfish inward thing, and the greater the pleasure - the more elemental to me - the more it is apty to be the subject of this internal dissonance.

I started it in the wrong place. It is loopy enough to quality, literally, for the Padded Cell. I am a survivor, but not one without a few battle scars from early days, and these still haunt me.

I wish I was an easier person, but what is actually really is.

Fredrik

Fredrik,

Life can be hard (and long) for the over-thinkers. Eventually it seems one reaches the 'What's the point' question and life from there on depends on how (or if) one comes to terms with whatever compromise answer emerges. Even being of use to others sometimes doesn't seem very worthwhile if their lives are equally meaningless. Bleak indeed.

Beating ones self up over innocent pastimes which harm no-one also helps no-one, but I guess you know that too. We can only do the best we can with the grey matter we're given.

Ian

Fredrik,

If music provides you a sense of stillness, calm, and strength to face life, then it is not weak to resist dispensing with it, but a strength that you have a life long conviction to something which provides you great pleasure.

You need not feel guilt at experiencing pleasure, I presume in the face of others being in need. If you resisted all pleasures you may well end up in bad shape, and in need of help from others.

Your 'job' is to enjoy your life. You only have one. If during that time you also bring pleasure to others and relief from their suffering (as I presume you have through your music), then all the better.

Fundamentally, life is simple and un-complicated. Deep thinkers often condemn themselves to a life of despair. To get to within months of the end of ones life and realise only then the simplicity of it all, and recall the angst which prevented you from enjoying it to the full, would be a shame indeed.

Sleep well,

phil

Fredrik

Phil said..."Fundamentally, life is simple and un-complicated. Deep thinkers often condemn themselves to a life of despair."

That sums you up Fredrik, you think and care too much. You may be a nice caring chap but you are doing so at your own expense.

Life and its survival is basically simple. Look for a gap where you can do something, be it a window cleaner (I have to clean my own now because window cleaners are extinct in Swindon) or some sort of consultant.

It's easy it really is.

Regards

Mick

Hi Fredrik
Life is stressful enough these days especially at work where greater demands are made by employers on employees eg long hours,heavy workload,targets to meet,job insecurity, etc,etc,.Then you've got the Kids demanding money left ,right & centre because they need to have the latest disposable in thing because johnny up the road has got one and " Street Cred has to be mantained at all costs" We all need to switch off at some stage and I thank God that I enjoy music because I totally switch off when I press Play.I too over anaylise things far too often,especially at work and I need to focus more on what is really important. Life flies by so quick. Fredrik I wish you all the best because you seem like a caring person and are concerned about the welfare of other people less fortunate than yourself. A trait in todays society some would deem a weakness ( in this Macho crazed society ) but for me a noble strength.
All the best Trevor.

Hi Fredrik
You're doing some late night thinking?
There can be alot read into your words, probably reflected in ones own experiences and ability to cope with anxiety, scrutiny of childhood and just plain getting on with life.

For me music has (almost) always been a pleasure, a well of invigourating feelings, approaching exalted levels with nearness to "God" (I'm not religious...) on the best occasions, BUT in the context of live music and foremost when playing myself!!!!
I have a lot of memories from rehearsals, meeting friends, concerts and meetings with some artists.

The hifi experience is something different, that I could do without, IF I had better access to live music(making). So hifi is a more complex area with guilt in it due to the expenses and choices one make. The listening can also be an uplifting experience, getting near exalting moments, but on rarer occasions. The most striking however is that it's a lonely endeavour, since even with a "hifi" buddy, one almost never experiences the same thing. At a concert, you sometimes can feel the electrifying moments (well not all in the audience) and hence share the experience!

If the hifi experience is a "good" substitute for you, then it IS OK! Be glad for your experience in music (playing, listening, analyzing). I do hope you have a place to stay, hoping you're not thinking to sell your hardearned(?) system, which seems to be tweaked to the "max".
YOU are one of the characters on this forum, that (for me) consistently CONTRIBUTES to the discusions and makes the forum what it is. No, not alone, but You would be sadly missed if you were to leave the forum.

So, simple by being here, it could be argued that you justifies you're existence by sharing thoughts and experiences. I don't think it's necessary to state something like that, but it shouldn't hurt for you to hear it!

Keep up the good work, I wish that I could have the time to indulge in music the way you seem to do, but for now I'm stuck in this technocratic mumbojumbo regarding future possible upgrades, for what? Materialism is a funny thing, but I do "know" that somewhere is the right system for me, hopefully not too dear, that will give me the experiences I'm hoping for.

All the best Fredrik and others on the forum

Rickard

Dear Friends,

I am feeling more normal now. I was not on the the beer or anything, but sometimes I get a a train of thought going on which seems to run a ceratin spiral. It is not funny.

I am just listening to Brahms' The Song Of The Fates [Gesang der Parzen], which I only heard once, and that was playing in the Orchestra. It is a wonderful piece. But a bit serious. Perhaps I should put on something less so!

I read your thoughts, and I think there is no doubt that I take things too seriously and far too much to heart. Suddenly the perspective just disappears...

It is typical of when I have come off the rails, because I am alright next day. when I am fed up in the morning as the night before then I know there was something really to consider, rather than just watch out for.

Catch you soon and all the best from Fredrik

Fredrik/George;

You are a brave man to bare your soul in this manner, and for that, I applaud you.

I am doubtful that you will have any Frank Zappa material in your fine collection of music; but Frank summed thngs up very well, with one of his succinct and pithy album titles:-

'You Are What You Is'.

Your and Mick's post illustrates that we can be very different people in our heads, with different attitudes to resolving issues and conflicts, but we each have to deal with them in our own way - for we know no other.

But the really important issue of your posts here, is that your music seems to have been, and continues to be (literally?) a lifeline.

I know we can get a bit nerdy over our hobby, but when music lifts the human spirit - it truly is priceless.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

Post of the year!

Best wishes.

John.

Thanks John,

I am much better now. Not going for the usual Saturday night bevy, but will take it steady with my three bottles of London Pride. I have till Thursday as holiday, which is actually more or less needed.

Luckily I got some marvelous new music today, and have already listened to one disc twice straight off!

Thanks to all of you for being so kind in your responses. Sometimes - very rarely - I come very close to loosing a grip, but I do have the sense to eventually go to sleep, and let the morning carry me back towards being reasonable again.

All the best from Fredrik

quote:

Originally posted by Fredrik_Fiske:
I was not on the the beer or anything, but sometimes I get a a train of thought going on which seems to run a ceratin spiral. It is not funny.

I know what you mean and hope you're better now.
I have a new thread of "stupid pics" on padded cell.
Lets have some laugh!

quote:

Originally posted by Tarquin Maynard-Portly:
That which does not kill us makes us stronger

Mike.
That's an old Bruce Willis album title.
The truth is that what will not kill now can kill you tomorrow.
Everybody get old, dont' you know?

Dear Mike,

More Schoepenhauer really, but I am only a failed amateur philosopher! I no great fan of Nietzsche, really.

[Smiley] from Fredrik the [not always so] Great

Fredrik,
There is a tendency in Human beings to try to justify actions, or give them meaning or value. Whereas worth, or value, is subjective. This is especially the case in music. Music does not exist outside ones self, therefore any values it holds, are relevant to the listener alone. The worth of this (it appears) is to give mental sustenance, just as eating is morally neutral (well at least vegan food) but necessary for a healthy body, the mind,, or inner self needs nourishment. This is a common need in all Humans and we derive it from different places, and as long as the method is morally neutral, it is not negative.

As far as “a lack of purpose to my existence” this is also different to many people, and a difficult question, but, I feel many people look for purpose when they are already fulfilling a purpose. To some extent we choose our selves how much purpose we need in our lives, and how it manifests itself. What purpose do you want your life to have? When you can answer this, then try to order your life to serve that purpose.
Meanings can change, and don’t have to be deep and answer every question. If you try to do this you will despair.
Perhaps to live a virtuous life, according to your own moral standards, is hard enough. and purpose enough?


Hope this is all making some sense to you,
John.

PS Definitely stop reading Schoepenhauer.

Dear John,

I gave up on Schoepenhauer! And with good reason, as he is too parallel to me anyhow!

You make good points, and so do so the other kind people here, actually, including especially Mick, whose input is pure good heart!

No. I have to realise certain things about understanding my dealings with those I love, (and the general business of life). I actually care to the point where a friend's or colegue's nood or state affects me, sometimes even more than them. I can only help to the extent that is within my power.

As for music, I think I may have broken that ring of guilt, directly, through this very process, in this thread.

It is harmless, neutral, but strengthening. If that strength is put to possitive good use then absolutlely it is a good thing.

I have been picking myself up and really hope I have nailed one ghost, and hopefully be better able to keep facing the right way and as Churchill said, "KBO!" [Keep b.......g on!].

Thanks from one silly old fool, to you all from Fredrik