Worst song ever?
Posted by: woodface on 17 February 2003
I think we may have discussed this in the past but it needs to be reappraised! I have just heard that terrible Shania Twain song 'I'm gonna get'cha'. I think this is probably the worst song ever written. Not only are the lyrics truly terrible but it is sung by someone who purports to be a serious artist; if it were sung by some pre-teen wannabe, it perhaps would not annoy quite so much. Anyone who saw Ms Twains appearance on Fame Academy will realise just how seriously this squawker takes herself - she was so far up her own behind that there was a danger of her turning inside-out! So what is the worst song ever? And please ignore all novelty records, I am looking for a title winner that aims for the stars yet treads in sh*t!
Posted on: 03 March 2003 by throbnorth
'This Pullover'? I love it ! - a kitsch masterpiece, and therefore outside the scope of this thread, I think. That's something else entirely. The Kenny Everett collection 'The Worst Record In The World' provides this and many others for your delectation, and is worth searching out.
greeny - you've got it just right, - it's crap songs from people who should know better that really grate - 'Revelation' on Da Capo, or 'Revolution no 9' on the White Album. Both tracks which at the time one tried to like so much, but to no avail. Some talented artists have managed to create whole albums that work in the same way, e.g. an entire album of crap based maybe on one track, that you keep listening to, hoping that jewels will emerge- 'The Beat Goes On' - Vanilla Fudge, the Grace Jones album that was the peerless 'Slave to the Rhythm' and bugger all else, and of course Lou's 'Metal Machine Music'. This last has been hailed as a challenging prescient masterpiece in some quarters, but of course it'sa not. Just cheeky contract-filling dross, and a double to boot. Four sides of feedback is just a statement that you're pissed off with your record company.
My first experience of a really bad record with no redeeming featured was the purchase of the first Hapshash and The Coloured Coat LP. This had a magnificent cover [still is], was pressed on marbled vinyl, exotic label [Minit]. I bought it, and wanted so much for it to be good. It wasn't. Now worth hundreds, I believe, so there's a moral in there somewhere. The second one [under the auspices of Mike'Wombles' Batt] is rather good.
throb
greeny - you've got it just right, - it's crap songs from people who should know better that really grate - 'Revelation' on Da Capo, or 'Revolution no 9' on the White Album. Both tracks which at the time one tried to like so much, but to no avail. Some talented artists have managed to create whole albums that work in the same way, e.g. an entire album of crap based maybe on one track, that you keep listening to, hoping that jewels will emerge- 'The Beat Goes On' - Vanilla Fudge, the Grace Jones album that was the peerless 'Slave to the Rhythm' and bugger all else, and of course Lou's 'Metal Machine Music'. This last has been hailed as a challenging prescient masterpiece in some quarters, but of course it'sa not. Just cheeky contract-filling dross, and a double to boot. Four sides of feedback is just a statement that you're pissed off with your record company.
My first experience of a really bad record with no redeeming featured was the purchase of the first Hapshash and The Coloured Coat LP. This had a magnificent cover [still is], was pressed on marbled vinyl, exotic label [Minit]. I bought it, and wanted so much for it to be good. It wasn't. Now worth hundreds, I believe, so there's a moral in there somewhere. The second one [under the auspices of Mike'Wombles' Batt] is rather good.
throb
Posted on: 03 March 2003 by ejl
quote:
What annoys me more than bad songs in general ('cos you just don't listen to them) is bad songs on otherwise good or even great albums.
A related phenomenon produced one of the worst songs I've heard. In this case, it was a good song by a good band that was ruined by the very band that made it good. Sound impossible? Then listen to "The Pusher" on "Early Steppenwolf".
This was a live version of the song recorded in a club in '67, and man, it sucks big time. In their defense, the album cover does warn you by noting that the members of Steppenwolf (then called "The Sparrow") were so high (or drunk, or something) that they could barely speak. But to put in on an album nonetheless...
A less egregious example of the same phenomenon is to be found in Rainbow's "On Stage". Here the songs weren't good to begin with, but the live album is so dreadful that when I was in grad. school there was a running dare for anyone to listen to all four sides in succession. I don't think anyone ever did it.
Posted on: 04 March 2003 by Robbie
All songs by american shitbands like Whitesnake,Queensryche,Foreigner.
Almost everything from Dire Straits.
And in random order:
Una paloma blanca-George Baker Selection
Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep-Middle of the road
99 luftballons-Nena
Wooden heart-Elvis Presley
Absolute beginners-David Bowie
Lady in red-Chris de Burgh
Sugar baby love-The Rubettes
Born in the USA-Bruce Springsteen
To all the girls I've loved before-Julio Iglesias & Willie(?)"Redneck" Nelson
Bicycle race-Queen
Too shy-Kajagoogoo
Gold-Spandau Ballet
Whose side are you on-Matt bianco
And a lot more
Regards,
Rob.
Almost everything from Dire Straits.
And in random order:
Una paloma blanca-George Baker Selection
Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep-Middle of the road
99 luftballons-Nena
Wooden heart-Elvis Presley
Absolute beginners-David Bowie
Lady in red-Chris de Burgh
Sugar baby love-The Rubettes
Born in the USA-Bruce Springsteen
To all the girls I've loved before-Julio Iglesias & Willie(?)"Redneck" Nelson
Bicycle race-Queen
Too shy-Kajagoogoo
Gold-Spandau Ballet
Whose side are you on-Matt bianco
And a lot more
Regards,
Rob.
Posted on: 06 March 2003 by Brian OReilly
Eric (slo' brain) Clapton - "Will I See You In Heaven"
How did he get away with it ?
This is the song about his young son falling out of a window. Did I say fall ? Flung himself out after hearing his dad's latest turgid effort more like !
Whenever I hear this masterpiece I nervously start looking for windows and weighing up the risk....
Regards,
Brian
(don't be confused by the rocks that I've got, I'm still Brian from the block)
Brian OReilly
How did he get away with it ?
This is the song about his young son falling out of a window. Did I say fall ? Flung himself out after hearing his dad's latest turgid effort more like !
Whenever I hear this masterpiece I nervously start looking for windows and weighing up the risk....
Regards,
Brian
(don't be confused by the rocks that I've got, I'm still Brian from the block)
Brian OReilly
Posted on: 06 March 2003 by JeremyD
Robbie: "99 Luftballons-Nena"
In defence of 99 Luftballons, it's not pretentious, vulgar, silly or sickly sentimental - it's just simple pop. Surely there is a worthier candidate for Worst Song Ever?
--J
In defence of 99 Luftballons, it's not pretentious, vulgar, silly or sickly sentimental - it's just simple pop. Surely there is a worthier candidate for Worst Song Ever?
--J
Posted on: 07 March 2003 by Brian OReilly
quote:
Brian the title is actually "Tears In Heaven"
Tears in Heaven ? Definitely Tears in Munich.
OK, How about "Hello this is Joni..."
The singer learns that his girlfriend, the lovely "Joni" has been killed in a car crash, a horrible, slow, painfull death, disfigured by fire, so the sick fuck rings her home so he can hear her happy voice one more time on the answerphone.
Regards,
Brian
(ok, I made up the part about the horrible slow death)
Brian OReilly
Posted on: 07 March 2003 by Willito
I'm glad to see that the haters of Seasons in the Sun are legion. I've hated that damn song since the schoolyard! We used to mock it by singing, "She had joy she had fun sticking fingers up her bum, but the pain is so strong 'cuz her fingers are so long." What greater evidence of its corrupting influence that its ability to create burgeoning pornographers on the Canadian prairie.
The song that I can't stand these days (though not to same level as above) is the Counting Crows cover of Big Yellow Taxi. Now, I never liked them even in the days when Mr. Jones was considered a fresh new sound (awful, awful!), so please take my words with the grain of salt. But I just can't help but find this song as the worst in karaoke pop culture fused with a one-hit wonder needing to pay the bills. Clealry there is nothing wrong with exploring other people's material, and possibly even improving on it. But in this case there is I find the re-working is a one way ticket in the wrong direction. Even the pay-off as to why the song is called Big Yellow Taxi falls apart because of the change in the singer's gender.
Oh Joni, how you are wronged!
The song that I can't stand these days (though not to same level as above) is the Counting Crows cover of Big Yellow Taxi. Now, I never liked them even in the days when Mr. Jones was considered a fresh new sound (awful, awful!), so please take my words with the grain of salt. But I just can't help but find this song as the worst in karaoke pop culture fused with a one-hit wonder needing to pay the bills. Clealry there is nothing wrong with exploring other people's material, and possibly even improving on it. But in this case there is I find the re-working is a one way ticket in the wrong direction. Even the pay-off as to why the song is called Big Yellow Taxi falls apart because of the change in the singer's gender.
Oh Joni, how you are wronged!
Posted on: 07 March 2003 by Bhoyo
quote:
Originally posted by Willito:
We used to mock it by singing, "She had joy she had fun sticking fingers up her bum, but the pain is so strong 'cuz her fingers are so long."
Genius! Reminds me of this juvenile-and-in-no-way-defensible (guffaw) reworking of Peter Noone: "Sunshine girl, I'm looking down your bra/I see two bulges, I wonder what they are/Will you invite me/To squeeze them tightly/Or will they bite me, my sunshine girl!"
Posted on: 07 March 2003 by Keith Mattox
Posted on: 08 March 2003 by Cheese
Everybody forgot this one
Stevie's "I Just Called To Say I Love You". Just writing the title already hurts. After all these years, it still baffles me how such an overchildish melody with its absolutely empty but still awkward lyrics could find the way to the recording studio, let alone become such a megaseller.
Cheese
Stevie's "I Just Called To Say I Love You". Just writing the title already hurts. After all these years, it still baffles me how such an overchildish melody with its absolutely empty but still awkward lyrics could find the way to the recording studio, let alone become such a megaseller.
Cheese
Posted on: 13 March 2003 by Keith Mattox
quote:Ooh, good one. #3 on my list very close to #2.
Originally posted by wcool:
"Having My Baby" by Paul Anka.
wsk
Cheers
Keith.
Posted on: 18 March 2003 by domfjbrown
quote:
greeny - you've got it just right, - it's crap songs from people who should know better that really grate - 'Revelation' on Da Capo, or 'Revolution no 9' on the White Album.
What's wrong with those? Admittedly, Revolution Number 9 is overindulgent trash but it has its moments like "If... you get naked" and "Take this brother, may it serve you well" which do it for me!
Plus - I think Revelation is excellent in places - the drum solos towards the end, the bit where Arthur Lee is going nuts about "on your knees" etc etc - but admittedly - a WHOLE SIDE!?!? Hmm...
We had joy we had fun
eating bogies in the sun
When the sun got too hot
the bogies turned to snot...
That was OUR version of that abysmal piece of toilet flotsum!
When the music's over turn out the lights
Posted on: 18 March 2003 by JohanR
Cheese wrote:
"Stevie's "I Just Called To Say I Love You". Just writing the title already hurts. After all these years, it still baffles me how such an overchildish melody with its absolutely empty but still awkward lyrics could find the way to the recording studio, let alone become such a megaseller."
Agree! As it happens I heard it yesterday, and it's such a total crap. Even the production stinks.
JohanR
"Stevie's "I Just Called To Say I Love You". Just writing the title already hurts. After all these years, it still baffles me how such an overchildish melody with its absolutely empty but still awkward lyrics could find the way to the recording studio, let alone become such a megaseller."
Agree! As it happens I heard it yesterday, and it's such a total crap. Even the production stinks.
JohanR
Posted on: 18 March 2003 by JRHardee
Someone sued Stevie for plagiarizing this masterpiece, and I believe they won. Either that, or he paid them to go away.
Can you imagine stepping up and saying, "NO, that song's MINE!"
Can you imagine stepping up and saying, "NO, that song's MINE!"
Posted on: 18 March 2003 by the other nickc
"Wedding Song;" Bob Dylan
2nd worst song ever?!
oh dear.
i'm rather fond of this one for some reason.
My candidate is:
'Wind of Change' by the Scorpions
pathetic euro rock 'masterpiece'
my name is Sven and I like only HARD rock.
Nick
[This message was edited by the other nickc on TUESDAY 18 March 2003 at 14:19.]
2nd worst song ever?!
oh dear.
i'm rather fond of this one for some reason.
My candidate is:
'Wind of Change' by the Scorpions
pathetic euro rock 'masterpiece'
my name is Sven and I like only HARD rock.
Nick
[This message was edited by the other nickc on TUESDAY 18 March 2003 at 14:19.]
Posted on: 20 March 2003 by Rasher
Richard is right with that bloody Queen song, but don't forget (or do) anything by The Mission or U2. AAAARRRGGGHHHhhhh.