Musical puns and other wordplay
Posted by: Loki on 13 February 2014
Given that the very Naim of our favourite HiFi manufacturer is itself a pun, and
having just spotted that the piece my student is playing is listed as 'Franck Sonata'. I'm sure we can do better. What other musically connected witticisms might we collect here for general amusement?
Walton's "Wise Virgins, ... sweet!"
Sorry, but that was fairly awful!
ATB from George
I could think up some, but it's not my forte.
Did you hear about the Austin Allegro on its last legs?
The owner christened it the Austin morendo al fine.
ATB from George
Did you hear about the conductor who thought he was a much better Meastro than he was.
His name was Austin!
Sorry, but I might be on a rolL
ATB from George
PS: Did you hear about Beethoven's Concerto for deaf people?
His ear trumpet concerto!
Did you hear about all all those unfinished German sausages Bach ate?
He was a great one for the Part-eater!
ATB from Geonge
PS: Not everyone likes a slow dance with a repeated bass-line, but as Bach observed. Chacconne a son gout!
A great composer was missing one day. They seek him here and they seek him there, but he must have made a great job of Haydn!
A leading modern violinist was mistified by a solo in the music. It did not seem to make sense to him, and he observed that he simply could not get e Handel on it at all.
Did yopu hear about the modern Russian composer who seemed to write a fearful noise, but strangely familiar.
He admitted he Borodin!
ATB from George
Harping on again George? Did you hear the one about the rabid conductor? His bite was worse than his Bach.
I'll be Bach! [Said in an Arny type voice!].
ATB from George
They have discovered a new work - previously unheard - by Sibelius. It is called Tapioca!
ATB from George
Did you hear about the bass player who was upset with what his colleagues called his instrument?
they called it the dog kennel.
ATB from George
What do you get if you throw a piano down a mine shalft?
A flat minor.
What do you get if you throw a piano out of a Hercules at 18,000 feet over a battlefield?
A flat major.
What string is the favourite to pizz?
They love plucking "G" strings!
Why can you never trust a violinist?
He is alway fiddling.
I think I need to make tea!
ATB from George
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass
I lost my job as a Sinatra look alike. I just wasn't good enough to be Franck.
'I think I need to make tea! George, have you got everything on your Chopin Liszt? Don't forget to buy a tuba Smarties.
Where did Wagner get his inspiration?
His Chopin Liszt!
ATB from George
What do you think of the puns so far?
That's truly Payneful.
Some odd pieces of music advertised on concert bill-boards:
Beethoven, Sinfonia Erotica.
Purcell, Dildo and Aeneas.
Schubert, Unfurnished Symphony.
And a name given to a fine British Orchestra. Sir Thomas Beecham founded two orchestras in London that are are still going, but his first orchestra was often referred to by players as the "Beecham Pill-harmonic," because Beecham was the son of the inventor of the famous cure-all pills!
ATB from George
I lost my job as a Sinatra look alike. I just wasn't good enough to be Franck.
'I think I need to make tea! George, have you got everything on your Chopin Liszt? Don't forget to buy a tuba Smarties.
Surely a 6/8 pack would be better?
ATB from George
What did Stravinsky say after listening to Herbert von Karajan conduct the Rite Of Spring?
"I never make it as Tempo Di Hoochy-couchy.
Stravinsky could be very sarcastic!
ATB from George.
PS Sir Adrian Boult used to avoid conducting the Rite, because he claimed that it hardly celebrated the most edifying aspects of the Season!
PPS: Stravinsky also said of Karajan's Mozart, that if the composer heard it he would not so much role in his grave as unfold his arms from his torso. and lay sideways with them under his head ready for a good snooze.
Tempo comodo, the correct comfortable speed on the WC.
ATB from George
Pencil marking over a very slow passage in the Saint John Passion.
You're in eight here.
Please will someone shoot me!
ATB from George
The breed of pianists who think that they are great orchestral conductors.
The semi-conductors!
ATB from George
Welsh song: Di-ode.
PS: The oboe - the ill-wind that blows no good.
Orchestral works should really be televised after the watershed due to all the sax and violins.
What Sir Thomas Beecham called Benjamin Britten's Opera, Peter Grimes.
Twilight of the Sods.
ATB from George