It can take a long time to die.....
Posted by: hungryhalibut on 06 July 2015
My dad is 94, and since my stepmum died six years ago, he's been living at home by himself. My stepsister has been wonderful, dropping in once or twice a day to help with lunch and to keep an eye on him. Fiercely independent, he's refused to have any carers, saying he didn't want 'strangers' in the house. He was so lonely, despite visits from family and friends, but was adamant that that he did not want to leave his home and go somewhere else.
Anyway, just under four weeks ago, he decided that enough was enough, sat on the floor, called the paramedics and told them he couldn't walk. He was taken into hospital and has refused food or water ever since. He was initially on a drip but as he gradually declined it was removed. That was about ten days ago. Since then his hearing has gone, and today he told me that he can no longer see. He just lies there, waiting to die. I go there every day, sit by his bed, hold his hand, and say 'yes, I know, but you are safe' every time he says 'I'm dying'. Life is on hold. It's so tragically sad. And it takes so long.
This is is not meant to sound mawkish, nor do I want sympathy. It's merely an observation.
Posted on: 12 July 2015 by DrMark
Yes, well I think the average demographic on this forum fits the time frame for when these sorts of thing take place.
I again send my best thoughts to you as the end appears to be approaching - God bless.
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by hungryhalibut
To conclude this story: my dad passed away at 6.30 this evening. His breathing was very erratic and seemed to stop, but started again. I went to change the CD that was playing on the ward's little CD player, and put on Dusty Springfield's The Look of Love (I love that song), had a chat with a chap on the ward who's been there a few days suffering from gout, returned to my dad, and in those few minutes he had gone. It's said that people wait to be alone before they die, and in this case it was true. It was such a moving experience, and I'm so pleased he died peacefully and has finally had his last wish granted.
Thanks again to all of you. We are just about to sit down to a Spanish omelette, salad and a nice bottle of wine. Life goes on.
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by pete T15
So sorry to hear about your dad HH , thankfully he went peacefully and on his own terms . Our thoughts are with all of you .
Peter.
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by Dev B
Dear Nigel - Many condolences on your loss.
Dear friends, thank you for sharing your own personal stories - very touched & moved to read those.
Dev & Ciara
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by dayjay
Many condolences HH, my thoughts are with you and with your family. Best wishes, David
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by 911gt3r
My sincere condolences Nigel. My very best wishes Peter
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by nickpeacock
Condolences HH. His memory lives on for so long as you and your family remember him with love.
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by GraemeH
My condolences too Nigel.
Graeme
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by Bert Schurink
My sincere condolences. Best wishes.
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by MDS
Sounds a peaceful departure, Nigel, which you and your family must have hoped for. Best wishes. Mike
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by Kiwi cat
I am sorry to hear about your fathers passing. All the best from the Southern Hemisphere.
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by Simon-in-Suffolk
Nigel - my condolences. Your last para posted above is lovely and am sure your Dad would have appreciated it.
Simon
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by ChrisH
My thoughts are with you Nigel.
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by MikeT.
HH, sincerest condolences on your fathers passing. What a blessing you were for him in the last days of his life.
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by hafler3o
My thoughts are with you HH.
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by Mr Fjeld
Sorry to hear about your loss HH.
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by Chris G
HH: my thoughts and condolences are with you. I hope the sympathies expressed by everyone help to bring some comfort at this most difficult time.
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by CharvilJon
Condolences
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by Derek Wright
Sorry for your loss Nigel.
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by shoot6x7
Sorry for your loss HH. Losing your father is a very tough thing. Many of us have been through what you've just experienced. Reading these stories takes me back to the Royal Free, May 11th 2006, 4th floor ICU, that's where my Dad left us. Boy that was a tough week which started with me getting off a trans-atlantic flight and going straight to the hospital to see him. By that time though he was unconscious and I was never able to converse with him. The last we spoke was two weeks prior over the phone.
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by Erich
Nigel, my sincere condolences.
A blessing you could be with your father in the last moments of his life.
Erich
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by BigH47
My condolences to you and yours.
Posted on: 13 July 2015 by The Hawk
Thoughts are with you Nigel...
Posted on: 14 July 2015 by bicela
Condolences Nigel, you have loved your father.
Posted on: 14 July 2015 by John Bailey
My thoughts are with you and your family Nigel.
John
