What component have you smuggled in....

nigelb posted:

I couldn't possibly comment as I get email alerts from this place and SWMBO has full access to all emails. I guess this is an admission of guilt so please nobody 'like' this as I will get an email and might have to find somewhere to stay tonight!

MUST ... NOT ... CLICK ... LI..I..IKE ... 

Oh shhhhh ... couldn't resist it!

Wasn't there a member on the forum who got caught out by this in the past...?

If its a major expense I broach the subject at some convenient moment when she's pleased about something else, and say "I've been thinking..." and then soften it with the promise of selling something it replaces. When auditioning at home her ear instantly recognises when something is better, so then she tolerates my decision to keep.

More minor things I just buy, but often discovered on delivery because she usually gets home before me and asks what the box is...

Innocent Bystander posted:

If its a major expense I broach the subject at some convenient moment when she's pleased about something else, and say "I've been thinking..." and then soften it with the promise of selling something it replaces. When auditioning at home her ear instantly recognises when something is better, so then she tolerates my decision to keep.

More minor things I just buy, but often discovered on delivery because she usually gets home before me and asks what the box is...

My wife is less bothered about me buying stuff than the fact that what it replaces often ends up in the loft, "until I can get round to putting it on eBay" and she seems to forget that I do move things out eventually, so there is really no need to remind me every ten years that it needs doing....

best

David

I think it just has to be made quite clear to our significant others that, in the matter of hifi, if it comes to a choice between black boxes / speakers and a divorce, there is only one choice.

Roger

All of them except the speakers. 

We don't live that way. We make joint decisions on any major purchases. I've bought things like an Audioquest Dragonfly without mentioning it, but just because it's not that big a purchase. I wouldn't dream of 'smuggling' something in.

Solid Air posted:

We don't live that way. We make joint decisions on any major purchases. I've bought things like an Audioquest Dragonfly without mentioning it, but just because it's not that big a purchase. I wouldn't dream of 'smuggling' something in.

I'm looking at your profile pic, Solid Air, and guessing you might be fewer in years than many of us on this forum.  We were all once like you in our commitment to equality & openess of our relationship... but then some of us got older, some of us got divorced, and some of us changed our priorities in life,  but rest assured, we all remember those days, and rest assured, we all respect and envy your integrity...

Unfortunately, you'll experience the effects of the passage of time, and who knows, you yourself may one day think back to this thread with your head in your hands and say to yourself "when did I change?"

Roger 

rjstaines posted:

Solid Air posted:

We don't live that way. We make joint decisions on any major purchases. I've bought things like an Audioquest Dragonfly without mentioning it, but just because it's not that big a purchase. I wouldn't dream of 'smuggling' something in.

I'm looking at your profile pic, Solid Air, and guessing you might be fewer in years than many of us on this forum.  We were all once like you in our commitment to equality & openess of our relationship... but then some of us got older, some of us got divorced, and some of us changed our priorities in life,  but rest assured, we all remember those days, and rest assured, we all respect and envy your integrity...

Unfortunately, you'll experience the effects of the passage of time, and who knows, you yourself may one day think back to this thread with your head in your hands and say to yourself "when did I change?"

Roger 

Behold ladies gentlemen .. we are in the presence of wisdom here ..

I saw mention earlier of joint bank accounts .. uh uh shudder .. a single joint bank account where you both toss the coin to pay the joint bills, yes, but other than that .. no, never.

Nothing to hide hence joint account and we've been that way for 32 years and proud of it

The good news is that my habit is indulged so what is there to complain about? Perhaps I'm just lucky!

Our Statement 'plant stand' looks lovely in the corner of the living room.

G

Ravenswood10 posted:

Nothing to hide hence joint account and we've been that way for 32 years and proud of it

The good news is that my habit is indulged so what is there to complain about? Perhaps I'm just lucky!

We're the same, so it's more a question of getting agreement to buy summat. If SWMBO really objected then I wouldn't (the DBLs ran things close), but there's always a trade-off.

tonym posted:

tonym posted:

SWMBO is remarkably tolerant of my unfortunate hi-fi habit. A few hints dropped, then mention of the item as a throwaway comment, expressing little interest (when I desperately want one), hoping I'll be asked about the thing. A bit of quid pro quo negotiation and I usually manage to gain tacit agreement. If the price is asked, things can get a bit awkward...

The only sneaky thing I did was when I decided I needed to replace my REL subwoofers with a pair of somewhat a larger (ahem) Dynavectors. SWMBO's only concern was that the new ones didn't stick out any further into the room. Having assured her they would not I then proceeded, daily over the course of a few weeks, to gradually move the RELs further away from the wall. I then showed her the measurements and explained the Dynavectors would be able to sit further back, unlike the RELs which just wouldn't work properly hard against the wall. She was suspicious.

Correction - please read Velodyne for Dynavector. Well, they do kind of sound the same.

I convinced my then-girlfriend that the big Velodyne I wanted would fit under the end table next to the TV. It did, sort-of. The legs of the table dangled some 3cm off the floor. We moved the table.

The degree of smuggling does appear to be less when the partner concerned either a) shares, or at least shows some interest is quality music reproduction in the home, or b) there is some degree of 'equity' when it come to personal treats. Mine unfortunately shows absolutely no interest in listening to music, to the extent she has invested in a pair of ear defenders so she can read in another room. And no I never go above 9 o'clock on the volume control and yes, my system is sounding pretty fine these days. We simply share different pastimes. Her 'needs' when it comes to treating herself are minimal which simply adds to my reticence when it comes to broaching the thorny subject of upgrades.

This makes it impossible to explain or even demonstrate what a new component can do for SQ, and therefore entirely impossible to justify the 'investment'. Her frugal nature simply adds to the difficulty.

What I have learnt from the above is that each forumite's better half is different ranging from the fully engaged partner, even encouraging upgrades, to my missus.

Ho hum.

Helps me that SWMBOs father got me into hifi years ago so it's all his fault with his Garrard 301/SME/Shure V15, Quads and Celestion 66s. We event built some 300B valve amps together. Nothing like keeping it in the family

I was impressed that my domestic goddess discovered I had changed a cable,  I was actually shocked,  Asking in admiration how on earth she had realised this, she replied  "you left the old one on the kitchen table,  get it moved" 

True story - today

Ravenswood10 posted:

Nothing to hide hence joint account and we've been that way for 32 years and proud of it

The good news is that my habit is indulged so what is there to complain about? Perhaps I'm just lucky!

Maybe the subject of joint bank accounts in the context of "smuggling" is a misdirection here .. it really has nothing to do with whether one has anything to hide.  After confirming a roof over our head, bills paid, groceries on the table and everything squared away, I see no reason why I should ask permission to spend my own money.  Co-mingled money automatically is a source of potential conflict in this setting, especially with the price of some of our toys.

The bride (20+years) and I have operated like this with little or no conflict over the years .. I certainly view myself as being lucky, too ..

Never snuck in any hifi gear, but I have been guilty of doing so with two guitars :

1. 3/4 Scale Ibanez (probably soon to be given to my eldest grandson

2. Fender sand-blasted Telecaster.  She noticed this one after I had already had it for a year.

The key here was to pay cash, as all our Bank/Credit accounts are joint.

I now have the opposite problem, which I couldn't possibly get away with.  I have decided that my living room system gets so little use (SWMBO claims that room as her own), that I ought to dispose of it.  She doesn't use it, and I think I have only used it about 4 times in the last year.  Now that I have made room in my study for the LP12, I can't justify keeping it any more.  She's a little loth to part with it, but has reluctantly agreed.  Beautiful sounding classic system, but c'est la vie ...

I consider myself fairly devious, but I don't think I could ever bring myself to smuggle anything in completely cold and undiscussed. My process is similar to that described earlier by TonyM : a gradual softening up process of hints, comments, longing glances etc. I don't think she's fooled for a second, but she has a very accomadative " if it's important to you" approach to it all and perhaps accepts the inevitability. Fabulous life partner...

she extracts a modicum of revenge with an expensive jewellery, clothing, shoes, handbags, watches, beauty habit of her own, but I have to say that she's recently been hard pushed to keep up with 500 series levels of expenditure...

First post.

After 20 odd years decided I needed a Hifi refresh and once I'd demo'd a few bits I was astonished how far things had progressed.

Settled on a pair of Spendor D7's for the start of a  system refresh that would take a year but the dealer convinced me to buy an ex demo NAC 272.

No chance I could smuggle the D7's in but for the 272 I turned the display and the logo light off (too much green she'd notice). I then over a period of a couple of weeks turned on first the logo and then the display (it was replacing an Arcam 8). There was a heart stopping moment when she walked over to turn the sound down and paused...looked quizzically at the 272...and then turned the sound down anyway and continued on her way and never noticed.

All of which was good because she absolutely freaked when she realised how much the D7's cost on their own.

Jono-Vo2 posted:

First post.

After 20 odd years decided I needed a Hifi refresh and once I'd demo'd a few bits I was astonished how far things had progressed.

Settled on a pair of Spendor D7's for the start of a  system refresh that would take a year but the dealer convinced me to buy an ex demo NAC 272.

No chance I could smuggle the D7's in but for the 272 I turned the display and the logo light off (too much green she'd notice). I then over a period of a couple of weeks turned on first the logo and then the display (it was replacing an Arcam 8). There was a heart stopping moment when she walked over to turn the sound down and paused...looked quizzically at the 272...and then turned the sound down anyway and continued on her way and never noticed.

All of which was good because she absolutely freaked when she realised how much the D7's cost on their own.

Classic smuggling, in both senses of the phrase!

The upgrades to the LP12 went unnoticed as did the 250Dr which replaced the 200, even the 282's two rows of buttons over the single for the 202 until..... the invoice for the new amps arrived in the post.  Even I couldn't wriggle out of that one!

Solid Air posted:

We don't live that way. We make joint decisions on any major purchases. I've bought things like an Audioquest Dragonfly without mentioning it, but just because it's not that big a purchase. I wouldn't dream of 'smuggling' something in.

I guess that I should explain.  My wife doesn't care.  nothing I have is exceedingly expensive.  As long as I am respectful with the amount.  She does the same with shoes, purses and clothes.  Neither one of us has expensive taste.  I save up or buy things on 0% financing with a low payment.  

John Willmott posted:

I saw mention earlier of joint bank accounts .. uh uh shudder .. a single joint bank account where you both toss the coin to pay the joint bills, yes, but other than that .. no, never.

At some point I would recommend taking the plunge and getting a joint account. Working in banking, there is nothing worse to witness than a surviving spouse loosing access to funds (and not being able to pay the bills) and then paying the taxman 40% for the privilege to get the remaining funds in the spouses account. The same goes for Joint Property ownership, which is probably even more important than the bank account.  It was not a great discussion to broach with my parents, but a necessary one, for their sake.

Dungassin posted:

Never snuck in any hifi gear, but I have been guilty of doing so with two guitars :

1. 3/4 Scale Ibanez (probably soon to be given to my eldest grandson

2. Fender sand-blasted Telecaster.  She noticed this one after I had already had it for a year.

The key here was to pay cash, as all our Bank/Credit accounts are joint.

Strange, that: she noticed my green Ibanez almost immediately after I bought at a local auction.

and the only accounts and credit cards I have are joint, though of course there's nothing to say what money was spent on... (but she knows her diamonds so no chance of buying a cheap ring and pretending it was that that cost so much, so no point in trying!)