What component have you smuggled in....

Not necessarily with systems but with the music. Amazon in Canada have stopped inserting the invoice in the package (phew) but there's no way of getting out of the deliveries from the post man, or UPS, she doesn't ask the price, I don't have to tell, but she does see the credit card bill, but points = cheaper holiday....  The only issue is when things come from Amazon UK / Europe ( you roll the dice on 20% VAT off ) and the duty for customs come with a large invoice stuck to the side of the box, I was just glad the recent Pink Floyd set avoided their selection clutches :-)

Guy007 posted:

John Willmott posted:

I saw mention earlier of joint bank accounts .. uh uh shudder .. a single joint bank account where you both toss the coin to pay the joint bills, yes, but other than that .. no, never.

At some point I would recommend taking the plunge and getting a joint account. Working in banking, there is nothing worse to witness than a surviving spouse loosing access to funds (and not being able to pay the bills) and then paying the taxman 40% for the privilege to get the remaining funds in the spouses account. The same goes for Joint Property ownership, which is probably even more important than the bank account.  It was not a great discussion to broach with my parents, but a necessary one, for their sake.

Sir:  I live in the States ... our estate planning takes care of your very pertinent concerns .. 

John Willmott posted:

Guy007 posted:

John Willmott posted:

I saw mention earlier of joint bank accounts .. uh uh shudder .. a single joint bank account where you both toss the coin to pay the joint bills, yes, but other than that .. no, never.

At some point I would recommend taking the plunge and getting a joint account. Working in banking, there is nothing worse to witness than a surviving spouse loosing access to funds (and not being able to pay the bills) and then paying the taxman 40% for the privilege to get the remaining funds in the spouses account. The same goes for Joint Property ownership, which is probably even more important than the bank account.  It was not a great discussion to broach with my parents, but a necessary one, for their sake.

Sir:  I live in the States ... our estate planning takes care of your very pertinent concerns .. 

It also doesn't work the way John explains in the UK either. UK banks routinely provide a low interest loan account until the surviving spouse has probate and all and any property transferred between spouses on the death of one of them is 100% tax free.

we have a joint account and both my wife and I have an account of our own too. But it makes no difference. She says "what is mine is mine and what is his is mine too..."

best

David

My daughters have explained this "it's Mum's house and Dad's hi-Fi"

I understand that sentiment.  When I retired, I realised that our living room didn't belong to me, and I spend a lot of time in my study.

The Strat (Fender) posted:

My daughters have explained this "it's Mum's house and Dad's hi-Fi"

Brilliant!

Dungassin posted:

I understand that sentiment.  When I retired, I realised that our living room didn't belong to me, and I spend a lot of time in my study.

I recognise that, which is why I have a SuperUniti in my study!

Joint bank accounts also for more then 20 years. Jus told her about the new line and she said what changed. Told her the difference between Superunity and Nova. She said dont think about it just buy it. If it makes you happy do it. She says i overthink changes to much. Ofcourse she usually spends much more money then me. But still happy

This thread has turned, to my eyes, into something slightly different. I am aware that languages can be deceiving, and I am prone to miss important nuances conveying the real degree of seriousness of all this, but it all sounds disquieting. I have just recently learned that the mysterious acronym SWMBO stands for She Who Must Be Obeyed, and I push so far as wondering if the ridiculous expression is so frequently used because it has an itching assonance with bimbo..

I have read of wives that have complete access to their husbands' emails, of retired grownups who suddenly feel that the living room doesn't really belong to them; of Bank accounts that are checked, of cash payments; and, on top of all that, the frequent reference to a sort of 'compensation' made by wives' purchasing 'shoes and purses'. Like if – being more than two shoes, and one purse, unnecessary in strictly logical terms – the equivalence between a male's HiFi and a female's frivolous and superfluous accessories was under track established. For both parties' peace of mind. A truce.

I know a guy who shares the Bank account with his wife, he bought a couple of things from me and he paid me cash in two secret encounters, subtracting the money from some extra hours of his own legitimate job! Like if he was forced to hide his purchase, made with the fruit of his work. Another one has a secret personal account, on which he patiently puts money every once in a while, like children used to put coins in the piggy bank to buy a bicycle in time, or a Moon Rocket. And they are both well over their fifties. 

Do people really live like this? Was this thread started to seek some form of solace from common experiences? Or is it just a joke among men, and I am misunderstanding a culture I do not know? Thanks for more contributions. 

It's called whit

I think 'whit' is quite a reasonable description, but I am sure you meant 'wit' or did you....................

I cannot understand some of the practices alluded to by Massimo Bertola, although I have a friend who (having not been terribly keen on the idea of procreating) declared that he would spend whatever his wife spent on their child on his hi-fi. In the end he didn't carry out the threat; 18 years on he would have had one humongous system.

Yes I think most of the comments are humerous rather than serious. But then the whole thread is, isn't it?

SWMBO is a reference to author John Mortimer's fictional character Rumpole who was a barrister at the Old Bailey (UK's Central Criminal Court in London). He was afraid of no-one and did pretty well what he pleased, but used to refer to his wife this way as he reluctantly did whatever it was she expected him to do. The original term was devised by H Rider Haggard I believe.

best

David

Massimo Bertola posted:

Do people really live like this? Was this thread started to seek some form of solace from common experiences? Or is it just a joke among men, and I am misunderstanding a culture I do not know? Thanks for more contributions. 

Ciao Max,  I think the thread was started with a light humour in mind, hifi people sneaking in new stuff & avoiding the guilt or need for approval or 'compensation' to significant others; but I think you know that.      

SWMBO is something I avoid as in my case its simply not the case,  I jokingly use the term domestic goddess - which is true - or DoDA (director of domestic affairs) - which is sort of true.  

I am the 'owner' of the hifi as its me that has the interest first in the music & second with the technical stuff,  'erself loves the music & the SQ,  but has no interest in the equipment.   The reverse is true with the kitchen,  whilst I love cooking & am somewhat more adventurous,   I better watch out if I do something wrong in that hallowed place - that is 'her kitchen'.

But to your point about "do people live like this",  sad to say yes some do. I know people who are amazed that my wife & I have everything shared but with a mix of our own & shared bank accounts & it's the same with our investments - what !! your wife has stocks & shares !!!     Even more amazed that we have an ongoing competition for best investment manager.  

Some of us entitle this behaviour like 'sad'. Many man, including myself - need a challenge / competetion / freedom now and then. I consider it far more harmful or if you like 'sad' to mess around with other woman.

This hifi thing is pretty harmless in most cases and maybe gives many of us an escape within a good relation.

... sounds like this is becoming a therapy thread

my wife and I have had only joint bank accounts for 40 years now ... if you can't justify a purchase of something to one another then it ain't worth purchasing.

Any guilt I have is that the ridiculuous amounts of money now being spent on the HiFi could be used for other, perhaps more meaningful, things ... but then it is our own decision where we put our hard-earned cash.

I do take the earlier posts in the spirit of wit in which I am sure they were intended and look forward to some more amusing stories

... I could not possibly comment on the talk I was given when it was discovered that you had to actually manually open the drawer of the CD5X and put a silly little puck on

... or aboutme firing the Zerostat

Allan

I'm drawn to the phrase "tongue in cheek".   This implies a mix of humour but also truth, without quantifying the proportions.   For some folk on here the balance leans toward humour and to others it leans toward the truth.   It's left to the reader to judge, for each post, where the balance lies.   But hey, we're all human and all different... vive la différence !  

CP62 posted:

Joint bank accounts also for more then 20 years. Jus told her about the new line and she said what changed. Told her the difference between Superunity and Nova. She said dont think about it just buy it. If it makes you happy do it. She says i overthink changes to much. Ofcourse she usually spends much more money then me. But still happy

Could this be the perfect marriage ?

Perhaps I should explain as I started this thread...

What inspired me to start it was an exchange of views on another thread, where one of the members shared a rather funny story of changing his B&W 803 for 802. His wife didn't notice and it was only a daughter that spotted a difference several weeks later.

So it's meant as a light-hearted thread with some funny stories. Perhaps a small atonement for our 'sins' - real or not.

Personally I think our wives, with whom we share our life do notice the differences. But they are very wise and have probably long realised ours is a fairly harmless hobby. We all seem to be well off - at least well off enough to be able to buy our Naims and still put the proverbial food on the table and generally provide for the family. If I understood something about women is that they like stability, security but also don't mind a bit of misbehaving. As long as it does not destabilise the family

So Max - that was my intention behind this thread.

I did an unnoticed swap of the 500 for the 500DR recently.  The beauty of Naim is the ability to upgrade without notice.  Also swapped the HiLine for the Chord Sarum Super Aray.  My wife listens to the system more than I do since she is home more.   She enjoys it on CD, but is afraid of the Verdier.  When we got married, she had most of the same records I did and we have been on the same wavelength for 35 years.  

Adam Zielinski posted:

Personally I think our wives, with whom we share our life do notice the differences. But they are very wise and have probably long realised ours is a fairly harmless hobby. We all seem to be well off - at least well off enough to be able to buy our Naims and still put the proverbial food on the table and generally provide for the family. If I understood something about women is that they like stability, security but also don't mind a bit of misbehaving. As long as it does not destabilise the family

 

I think it depends on what is meant by misbehaving - within the context of talking about marriage it suggests fooling around with other women, which I know of no woman who doesn't mind, though some may tolerate for the sake of avoiding the negative aspects of break up. However, hopefully you meant it in the conrext of not wanting to come clean on the cost of a hobby like hifi. I suppose the reverse also applies, i.e. A woman not wanting to let her husband know how much she spends on her habits, whethercshoes or jewellery (or hifi!)

Innocent Bystander posted:

Adam Zielinski posted:

Personally I think our wives, with whom we share our life do notice the differences. But they are very wise and have probably long realised ours is a fairly harmless hobby. We all seem to be well off - at least well off enough to be able to buy our Naims and still put the proverbial food on the table and generally provide for the family. If I understood something about women is that they like stability, security but also don't mind a bit of misbehaving. As long as it does not destabilise the family

 

I think it depends on what is meant by misbehaving - within the context of talking about marriage it suggests fooling around with other women, which I know of no woman who doesn't mind, though some may tolerate for the sake of avoiding the negative aspects of break up. However, hopefully you meant it in the conrext of not wanting to come clean on the cost of a hobby like hifi. I suppose the reverse also applies, i.e. A woman not wanting to let her husband know how much she spends on her habits, whethercshoes or jewellery (or hifi!)

Misbehaving here was meant of course only in a context of our HiFi / Naim hobby.

Last xmas "smuggled in " a flatcap 2 and a new telecaster i sat there waiting for armmegedon ...and then mrs v happily strolls in from shopping with a santa suit for the dog ...the sigh of relief could be heared throuout the village

rjstaines posted:

I'm drawn to the phrase "tongue in cheek".   This implies a mix of humour but also truth, without quantifying the proportions.   For some folk on here the balance leans toward humour and to others it leans toward the truth.   It's left to the reader to judge, for each post, where the balance lies.   But hey, we're all human and all different... vive la différence !  

 

 

Beautifully summarised if I may say.

This would be a sad place if all it were was endless threads about serious hi fi stuff.

Roll on the wit, tongue-in-cheek discourse or whatever you want to call it. Just don't take it too seriously.