Thread to Get Answers
Posted by: matthewr on 02 April 2004
In my daily life I often hear people mutter "fucking know-it-all" behind my back while making the sort of hand gesture you hardly need the man from HSBC to translate for you.
Personally, and being naturally modest, I think this is overstating it a little and in reality I merely know an awful lot. But that notwithstanding, and as I have a few hours spare hours to spare this afternoon before going to the pub, please feel free to ask me anything you like.
Matthew
Personally, and being naturally modest, I think this is overstating it a little and in reality I merely know an awful lot. But that notwithstanding, and as I have a few hours spare hours to spare this afternoon before going to the pub, please feel free to ask me anything you like.
Matthew
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Ron Brinsdon
Any hot tips for the Grand National?
Thanks
Ron
Thanks
Ron
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by TomK
What's my next door neighbour's name?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by starbuck
quote:
please feel free to ask me anything you like
What is your favourite colour, and why?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by matthewr
"Any hot tips for the Grand National?"
Only mugs and your Gran bet on the National stick to the flat.
"What's my next door neighbour's name?"
His real name is Graham and he is a convicted criminal who befriended and then defrauded several people out of their homes using an elaborate re-mortaging scam. He operates under a variety of psuedonyms and may have told you somethng else.
"Will anyone notice if I spend the afternoon asleep?"
You are an accountant Alex so just explain something to them and once they are safely asleep you can grab 40 winks yourself.
"What is your favourite colour, and why?"
Blue. It matches me eyes.
Only mugs and your Gran bet on the National stick to the flat.
"What's my next door neighbour's name?"
His real name is Graham and he is a convicted criminal who befriended and then defrauded several people out of their homes using an elaborate re-mortaging scam. He operates under a variety of psuedonyms and may have told you somethng else.
"Will anyone notice if I spend the afternoon asleep?"
You are an accountant Alex so just explain something to them and once they are safely asleep you can grab 40 winks yourself.
"What is your favourite colour, and why?"
Blue. It matches me eyes.
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by seagull
Who is going to be the next England player off the West Ham production line?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by matthewr
Nigel Reo-Coker
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by seagull
Why would grandma want to suck eggs?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by matthewr
"Why would grandma want to suck eggs?"
Good source of protein and saves on the gas bill.
"Will Jermaine Defoe score more at Euro 2004 than Raul?"
If Michael Owen is injured yes.
Good source of protein and saves on the gas bill.
"Will Jermaine Defoe score more at Euro 2004 than Raul?"
If Michael Owen is injured yes.
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Mekon
Will anyone other than Ludwig and ejl listen to Air America Radio?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Tarquin Maynard - Portly
What is the proper name for the back of the knee?
Regards
Mike
Spending money I don't have on things I don't need.
Regards
Mike
Spending money I don't have on things I don't need.
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by matthewr
"Will anyone other than Ludwig and ejl listen to Air America Radio?"
Yes. Al Franken's mum and the other blokes form Public Enemy who aren't Chuck D will be tuning in. Plus Judd who will be using it as part of his anger management programme.
"What is the proper name for the back of the knee?"
Anterior Patella Region
Yes. Al Franken's mum and the other blokes form Public Enemy who aren't Chuck D will be tuning in. Plus Judd who will be using it as part of his anger management programme.
"What is the proper name for the back of the knee?"
Anterior Patella Region
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by MichaelC
Given that light travels at, err, the speed of light and that there are an improbably large number of stars in the universe - why is it that the night sky is drak rather than light?
Mike
Mike
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by seagull
Why is navel fluff always blue?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by starbuck
quote:
Why is navel fluff always blue?
I'll field this one - it's because it matches Matthew's eyes.
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Hammerhead
Matthew, in the stylee of David Attenborough, can you please explain the mating ritual of the Guatemalan Tucan.
Thanks.
Steve
Thanks.
Steve
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by matthewr
"Given that light travels at, err, the speed of light and that there are an improbably large number of stars in the universe - why is it that the night sky is drak rather than light?"
Once Edmund Halley had worked out that stars were actaully a very long way away and not on a big crystal sphere just past Saturn the reason for this is kind of obvious.
"Why is navel fluff always blue?"
It isn't. If yours is blue it indicates a serious medical condition and you should consult a doctor IMMEDIATELY.
"Matthew, in the stylee of David Attenborough, can you please explain the mating ritual of the Guatemalan Tucan"
Technically that's not a question but a request. I may be the modern equivalent of the Delphic Oracle but I am not some performing seal.
Once Edmund Halley had worked out that stars were actaully a very long way away and not on a big crystal sphere just past Saturn the reason for this is kind of obvious.
"Why is navel fluff always blue?"
It isn't. If yours is blue it indicates a serious medical condition and you should consult a doctor IMMEDIATELY.
"Matthew, in the stylee of David Attenborough, can you please explain the mating ritual of the Guatemalan Tucan"
Technically that's not a question but a request. I may be the modern equivalent of the Delphic Oracle but I am not some performing seal.
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Brian OReilly
What IS a "Zig-a-Zig-aaaaaaaah" ?
Brian OReilly
Brian OReilly
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Markus S
Matthew, how do you manage to hide your brilliance so well, most of the time? And what pills do you take to remain so awfully modest?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by seagull
What is the value of pi to 1,000,000 decimal places?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Hammerhead
Do you think you're hard enough?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by seagull
Why did the one armed man clap?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Kevin-W
Matthew
How can we stop Sting?
Kevin
Ps In answer to Michael C's question about the sky being dark:
this is known to astronomers as Olbers' Paradox.
This is a reasonably good explanation of it, taken off the Net. the cosmologist John Gribben wrote a superb essay on this conundrum but I can't recall in which of his many publications it appeared.
Try this then:
Why isn't the night sky as uniformly bright as the surface of the Sun? If the Universe has infinitely many stars, then it should be. After all, if you move the Sun twice as far away from us, we will intercept one quarter as many photons, but the Sun will subtend one quarter of the angular area. So the areal intensity remains constant. With infinitely many stars, every angular element of the sky should have a star, and the entire heavens should be as bright as the sun. We should have the impression that we live in the center of a hollow black body whose temperature is about 6000 degrees Centigrade. This is Olbers' paradox. It can be traced as far back as Kepler in 1610. It was rediscussed by Halley and Cheseaux in the eighteen century, but was not popularized as a paradox until Olbers took up the issue in the nineteenth century.
There are many possible explanations which have been considered. Here are a few:
1. There's too much dust to see the distant stars.
2. The Universe has only a finite number of stars.
3. The distribution of stars is not uniform. So, for example, there could be an infinity of stars, but they hide behind one another so that only a finite angular area is subtended by them.
4. The Universe is expanding, so distant stars are red-shifted into obscurity.
5. The Universe is young. Distant light hasn't even reached us yet.
The first explanation is just plain wrong. In a black body, the dust will heat up too. It does act like a radiation shield, exponentially damping the distant starlight. But you can't put enough dust into the universe to get rid of enough starlight without also obscuring our own Sun. So this idea is bad.
The premise of the second explanation may technically be correct. But the number of stars, finite as it might be, is still large enough to light up the entire sky, i.e., the total amount of luminous matter in the Universe is too large to allow this escape. The number of stars is close enough to infinite for the purpose of lighting up the sky. The third explanation might be partially correct. We just don't know. If the stars are distributed fractally, then there could be large patches of empty space, and the sky could appear dark except in small areas.
But the final two possibilities are are surely each correct and partly responsible. There are numerical arguments that suggest that the effect of the finite age of the Universe is the larger effect. We live inside a spherical shell of "Observable Universe" which has radius equal to the lifetime of the Universe. Objects more than about 13.7 thousand million years old (the latest figure) are too far away for their light ever to reach us.
Historically, after Hubble discovered that the Universe was expanding, but before the Big Bang was firmly established by the discovery of the cosmic background radiation, Olbers' paradox was presented as proof of special relativity. You needed the red-shift (an SR effect) to get rid of the starlight. This effect certainly contributes. But the finite age of the Universe is the most important effect.
References: Ap. J. 367, 399 (1991). The author, Paul Wesson, is said to be on a personal crusade to end the confusion surrounding Olbers' paradox.
Darkness at Night: A Riddle of the Universe, Edward Harrison, Harvard University Press, 1987
How can we stop Sting?
Kevin
Ps In answer to Michael C's question about the sky being dark:
this is known to astronomers as Olbers' Paradox.
This is a reasonably good explanation of it, taken off the Net. the cosmologist John Gribben wrote a superb essay on this conundrum but I can't recall in which of his many publications it appeared.
Try this then:
Why isn't the night sky as uniformly bright as the surface of the Sun? If the Universe has infinitely many stars, then it should be. After all, if you move the Sun twice as far away from us, we will intercept one quarter as many photons, but the Sun will subtend one quarter of the angular area. So the areal intensity remains constant. With infinitely many stars, every angular element of the sky should have a star, and the entire heavens should be as bright as the sun. We should have the impression that we live in the center of a hollow black body whose temperature is about 6000 degrees Centigrade. This is Olbers' paradox. It can be traced as far back as Kepler in 1610. It was rediscussed by Halley and Cheseaux in the eighteen century, but was not popularized as a paradox until Olbers took up the issue in the nineteenth century.
There are many possible explanations which have been considered. Here are a few:
1. There's too much dust to see the distant stars.
2. The Universe has only a finite number of stars.
3. The distribution of stars is not uniform. So, for example, there could be an infinity of stars, but they hide behind one another so that only a finite angular area is subtended by them.
4. The Universe is expanding, so distant stars are red-shifted into obscurity.
5. The Universe is young. Distant light hasn't even reached us yet.
The first explanation is just plain wrong. In a black body, the dust will heat up too. It does act like a radiation shield, exponentially damping the distant starlight. But you can't put enough dust into the universe to get rid of enough starlight without also obscuring our own Sun. So this idea is bad.
The premise of the second explanation may technically be correct. But the number of stars, finite as it might be, is still large enough to light up the entire sky, i.e., the total amount of luminous matter in the Universe is too large to allow this escape. The number of stars is close enough to infinite for the purpose of lighting up the sky. The third explanation might be partially correct. We just don't know. If the stars are distributed fractally, then there could be large patches of empty space, and the sky could appear dark except in small areas.
But the final two possibilities are are surely each correct and partly responsible. There are numerical arguments that suggest that the effect of the finite age of the Universe is the larger effect. We live inside a spherical shell of "Observable Universe" which has radius equal to the lifetime of the Universe. Objects more than about 13.7 thousand million years old (the latest figure) are too far away for their light ever to reach us.
Historically, after Hubble discovered that the Universe was expanding, but before the Big Bang was firmly established by the discovery of the cosmic background radiation, Olbers' paradox was presented as proof of special relativity. You needed the red-shift (an SR effect) to get rid of the starlight. This effect certainly contributes. But the finite age of the Universe is the most important effect.
References: Ap. J. 367, 399 (1991). The author, Paul Wesson, is said to be on a personal crusade to end the confusion surrounding Olbers' paradox.
Darkness at Night: A Riddle of the Universe, Edward Harrison, Harvard University Press, 1987
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Traveling Dan
I'll bite ...
(1) Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?
(2) If Geronimo took up sky-diving, what would he shout as he jumped out of the plane?
(3) How do they get teflon to stick to the frying pan?
(1) Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?
(2) If Geronimo took up sky-diving, what would he shout as he jumped out of the plane?
(3) How do they get teflon to stick to the frying pan?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by matthewr
"What IS a "Zig-a-Zig-aaaaaaaah"
The sound made when creative juices run out.
"Matthew, how do you manage to hide your brilliance so well, most of the time? And what pills do you take to remain so awfully modest?"
I hide my brilliance and retain my modesty by trying my best to be like Mick.
"Should I have a chicken madras or a lamb rogan josh later?"
Not wanting to be impolite but have you considered perhaps a light salad?
"What is the value of pi to 1,000,000 decimal places?"
Just over 3.
"Do you think you're hard enough?"
That's a qualitatitve judegement that is not really for me to say. However, in objective terms I can tell you I am slightly harder than Jimmy Nail and not quite as hard as Jenny Eclair.
"Why did the one armed man clap?"
Becuase he hated hippies and wanted to inspire a paradoxical Zen koan that would really do their dope addled heads in
The sound made when creative juices run out.
"Matthew, how do you manage to hide your brilliance so well, most of the time? And what pills do you take to remain so awfully modest?"
I hide my brilliance and retain my modesty by trying my best to be like Mick.
"Should I have a chicken madras or a lamb rogan josh later?"
Not wanting to be impolite but have you considered perhaps a light salad?
"What is the value of pi to 1,000,000 decimal places?"
Just over 3.
"Do you think you're hard enough?"
That's a qualitatitve judegement that is not really for me to say. However, in objective terms I can tell you I am slightly harder than Jimmy Nail and not quite as hard as Jenny Eclair.
"Why did the one armed man clap?"
Becuase he hated hippies and wanted to inspire a paradoxical Zen koan that would really do their dope addled heads in
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by bigmick
You may be already considering this.
What's the best hangover cure that doesn't lead to another one? i.e. not a pint of dog hair
What's the best hangover cure that doesn't lead to another one? i.e. not a pint of dog hair