Thread to Get Answers
Posted by: matthewr on 02 April 2004
In my daily life I often hear people mutter "fucking know-it-all" behind my back while making the sort of hand gesture you hardly need the man from HSBC to translate for you.
Personally, and being naturally modest, I think this is overstating it a little and in reality I merely know an awful lot. But that notwithstanding, and as I have a few hours spare hours to spare this afternoon before going to the pub, please feel free to ask me anything you like.
Matthew
Personally, and being naturally modest, I think this is overstating it a little and in reality I merely know an awful lot. But that notwithstanding, and as I have a few hours spare hours to spare this afternoon before going to the pub, please feel free to ask me anything you like.
Matthew
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Traveling Dan
I'll bite ...
(1) Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?
(2) If Geronimo took up sky-diving, what would he shout as he jumped out of the plane?
(3) How do they get teflon to stick to the frying pan?
(1) Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?
(2) If Geronimo took up sky-diving, what would he shout as he jumped out of the plane?
(3) How do they get teflon to stick to the frying pan?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by matthewr
"What IS a "Zig-a-Zig-aaaaaaaah"
The sound made when creative juices run out.
"Matthew, how do you manage to hide your brilliance so well, most of the time? And what pills do you take to remain so awfully modest?"
I hide my brilliance and retain my modesty by trying my best to be like Mick.
"Should I have a chicken madras or a lamb rogan josh later?"
Not wanting to be impolite but have you considered perhaps a light salad?
"What is the value of pi to 1,000,000 decimal places?"
Just over 3.
"Do you think you're hard enough?"
That's a qualitatitve judegement that is not really for me to say. However, in objective terms I can tell you I am slightly harder than Jimmy Nail and not quite as hard as Jenny Eclair.
"Why did the one armed man clap?"
Becuase he hated hippies and wanted to inspire a paradoxical Zen koan that would really do their dope addled heads in
The sound made when creative juices run out.
"Matthew, how do you manage to hide your brilliance so well, most of the time? And what pills do you take to remain so awfully modest?"
I hide my brilliance and retain my modesty by trying my best to be like Mick.
"Should I have a chicken madras or a lamb rogan josh later?"
Not wanting to be impolite but have you considered perhaps a light salad?
"What is the value of pi to 1,000,000 decimal places?"
Just over 3.
"Do you think you're hard enough?"
That's a qualitatitve judegement that is not really for me to say. However, in objective terms I can tell you I am slightly harder than Jimmy Nail and not quite as hard as Jenny Eclair.
"Why did the one armed man clap?"
Becuase he hated hippies and wanted to inspire a paradoxical Zen koan that would really do their dope addled heads in
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by bigmick
You may be already considering this.
What's the best hangover cure that doesn't lead to another one? i.e. not a pint of dog hair
What's the best hangover cure that doesn't lead to another one? i.e. not a pint of dog hair
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by seagull
What will you spend your £1m winnings on?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by matthewr
"How can we stop Sting?"
Get a big axe and stand next to a cute young sapling and if say "If you sing again the tree gets it"
"(1) Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?"
Becuase it's enough.
"(2) If Geronimo took up sky-diving, what would he shout as he jumped out of the plane?"
Being a member of a historically proud and decorous people he would maintain a dignified silence.
"(3) How do they get teflon to stick to the frying pan?"
With glue.
Get a big axe and stand next to a cute young sapling and if say "If you sing again the tree gets it"
"(1) Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?"
Becuase it's enough.
"(2) If Geronimo took up sky-diving, what would he shout as he jumped out of the plane?"
Being a member of a historically proud and decorous people he would maintain a dignified silence.
"(3) How do they get teflon to stick to the frying pan?"
With glue.
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Brian OReilly
Isthe Pope a catholic ?
Brian OReilly
Brian OReilly
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by reductionist
Why are your posts getting less funny as this thread continues?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Former member
quote:
Not wanting to be impolite but have you considered perhaps a light salad?
Only as garnish.
Who buys piccallili (however it is spelt)?
ag
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Former member
Why has nobody punched your lights out .... yet?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by syd
Why have you no real friends?
Yours in Music
Syd
Yours in Music
Syd
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by ejl
I've never really understood Lindstrom's Theorem, and haven't found a logician who knows it well enough to explain it to me.
It's hard to say where I get stuck, but I definately don't get how to build a "rabbit" structure that encodes the Eherenfeucht Game. Could you please give an example of such a structure, and show why it's countable?
Cheers,
Eric
It's hard to say where I get stuck, but I definately don't get how to build a "rabbit" structure that encodes the Eherenfeucht Game. Could you please give an example of such a structure, and show why it's countable?
Cheers,
Eric
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by matthewr
"What's the best hangover cure that doesn't lead to another one? i.e. not a pint of dog hair"
Pint of Diorolyte rehydration drink and 300Mg slow release of Diclofenac Hydrochlroide before you go to bed.
"What will you spend your £1m winnings on?"
Not getting up before midday ever again.
"Isthe Pope a catholic ?"
Do bears crap in the woods?
"Why are your posts getting less funny as this thread continues?"
The first flowering of genius always leads to a gradual decline. It much like how later series of Minder were never a patch on the first two.
"Why has nobody punched your lights out .... yet?"
I am a) quick on my feet and b) know some hard blokes.
"Why have you no real friends?"
Not repaying gamblings debts, sleeping with their girlfriends or, in one case, being begin sick on his new carpet.
"I've never really understood Lindstrom's Theorem..."
Hopefully you are already using the revised version of Morovsky's Transforms so it's just a question figuring out the Entropics. This should be relatively straightforward for someone working as a post-grad and teaching undergraduates (HINT: There must be a reason for Antonioli's Predicament surely?)
Pint of Diorolyte rehydration drink and 300Mg slow release of Diclofenac Hydrochlroide before you go to bed.
"What will you spend your £1m winnings on?"
Not getting up before midday ever again.
"Isthe Pope a catholic ?"
Do bears crap in the woods?
"Why are your posts getting less funny as this thread continues?"
The first flowering of genius always leads to a gradual decline. It much like how later series of Minder were never a patch on the first two.
"Why has nobody punched your lights out .... yet?"
I am a) quick on my feet and b) know some hard blokes.
"Why have you no real friends?"
Not repaying gamblings debts, sleeping with their girlfriends or, in one case, being begin sick on his new carpet.
"I've never really understood Lindstrom's Theorem..."
Hopefully you are already using the revised version of Morovsky's Transforms so it's just a question figuring out the Entropics. This should be relatively straightforward for someone working as a post-grad and teaching undergraduates (HINT: There must be a reason for Antonioli's Predicament surely?)
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by seagull
Can I go home yet?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Hammerhead
quote:
"Isthe Pope a catholic ?"
Do bears crap in the woods?
In thier natural environments black & brown variants, yes. Polar bears, no. So the question should be is the Vatican near a convenient copse.
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by TomK
What did the man who invented the drawing board go back to?
Who was the parson who had a nose like a chicken's arse?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Who was the parson who had a nose like a chicken's arse?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Justin
We don't get the programs here in middle America, BTW (well, Chicago has them, but not Cleveland - we prefer the KKK channels instead.
Judd
[This message was edited by Justin on Fri 02 April 2004 at 15:02.]
Judd
[This message was edited by Justin on Fri 02 April 2004 at 15:02.]
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Joe Petrik
A two part question:
(1) In what way will Sedna, the newly discovered planet in our solar system, change astrological practice?
(2) And why, if astrologers are any good at telling the future, did they not predict the discovery of a new planet before astronomers did?
Joe
(1) In what way will Sedna, the newly discovered planet in our solar system, change astrological practice?
(2) And why, if astrologers are any good at telling the future, did they not predict the discovery of a new planet before astronomers did?
Joe
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Mekon
I saw a horoscope this week that read "You are in grave danger of letting interpretations of patterns in the sky guide your life".
Uncanny.
Uncanny.
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Simon Matthews
Why is snot green?
Why is ITV evening news better after a lobotomy?
Why has hair started coming out of my ears recently?
Why is ITV evening news better after a lobotomy?
Why has hair started coming out of my ears recently?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by seagull
What is less fun than watching paint dry?
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by matthewr
"Can I go home yet?"
You are self employed so its just a question of how much you want another £40 for staying til 5pm.
"What did the man who invented the drawing board go back to?"
Luckily he had a prototype.
"Who was the parson who had a nose like a chicken's arse?"
It was not named after a particlar person but was part of the Anglican Church's original version of the "Bears crap in the words" saying which was seen as irredeemably Catholic. Sadly the exact phrase used has been lost to history.
"Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?"
A well timed last mintue headbut to a key bulkhead can make all the difference.
"Who am I angry at?"
The people who decide whether or not liberal talk radio gets syndicated in the mid-west.
"(1) In what way will Sedna, the newly discovered planet in our solar system, change astrological practice?"
People will now spend lot of time arguing about whether its a real planet or "just a dumb rock".
"(2) And why, if astrologers are any good at telling the future, did they not predict the discovery of a new planet before astronomers did?"
Tney are two busy working out whether its safe to go out today or not and where to put their long term investments to bother with such trivia.
"Why is snot green?"
It should be blue. Are you perhaps confusing it with navel fluff?
"Why is ITV evening news better after a lobotomy?"
It gets your IQ at the same level of an ITV Commisioning Editor.
"Why has hair started coming out of my ears recently?"
Your girlfriend secretly trims locks hair from strangers on the tube and then deposits it in your ears while you sleep. She's basically a nutjob although quite harmless.
"What is less fun than watching paint dry?"
Browsing hardware shops.
You are self employed so its just a question of how much you want another £40 for staying til 5pm.
"What did the man who invented the drawing board go back to?"
Luckily he had a prototype.
"Who was the parson who had a nose like a chicken's arse?"
It was not named after a particlar person but was part of the Anglican Church's original version of the "Bears crap in the words" saying which was seen as irredeemably Catholic. Sadly the exact phrase used has been lost to history.
"Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?"
A well timed last mintue headbut to a key bulkhead can make all the difference.
"Who am I angry at?"
The people who decide whether or not liberal talk radio gets syndicated in the mid-west.
"(1) In what way will Sedna, the newly discovered planet in our solar system, change astrological practice?"
People will now spend lot of time arguing about whether its a real planet or "just a dumb rock".
"(2) And why, if astrologers are any good at telling the future, did they not predict the discovery of a new planet before astronomers did?"
Tney are two busy working out whether its safe to go out today or not and where to put their long term investments to bother with such trivia.
"Why is snot green?"
It should be blue. Are you perhaps confusing it with navel fluff?
"Why is ITV evening news better after a lobotomy?"
It gets your IQ at the same level of an ITV Commisioning Editor.
"Why has hair started coming out of my ears recently?"
Your girlfriend secretly trims locks hair from strangers on the tube and then deposits it in your ears while you sleep. She's basically a nutjob although quite harmless.
"What is less fun than watching paint dry?"
Browsing hardware shops.
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Justin
Why is the quantum orbital filling arrangement of Copper [Ar] 4s(1)3d(10) rather than the arrangment predicted by the Aufbau rule, [Ar] 4s(2)3d(9)?
Judd
Judd
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by sideshowbob
Where's Godot?
-- Ian
-- Ian
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Justin
And, if my goal is to get my wife in bed tonight, am I better off playing some Marvin Gaye or Elvin Jones, or will the bit about the copper do the trick?
Judd
Judd
Posted on: 02 April 2004 by Stephen Bennett
quote:
Originally posted by Justin:
Why is the quantum orbital filling arrangement of Copper [Ar] 4s(1)3d(10) rather than the arrangment predicted by the Aufbau rule, [Ar] 4s(2)3d(9)?
Judd
Because the Aufbau rule is incomplete in some way. Or it doesn't apply in this case in a way we aren't aware.
This is easy
Stephen