Help me design the worlds worst VFM system
Posted by: Minky on 21 March 2004
The scenario
You go the doctor and he says "Mate, it seems dat on your recent trip up de Congo you contracted an extremely rare tropical disease. In approximately six months you will spontanehously explode. Sorry."
Besides being already moderately well healed, your life is insured for "buckets" and the policy pays out in advance for terminal conditions.
This is a complicated situation because on the one hand you are now wealthy beyond your wildest dreams but on the other hand you have bugger all time to enjoy it, if indeed any form of "enjoyment" is possible with the big bang just round the corner. To add insult to injury you have never really loved your "loved ones" and they are already starting to circle like vultures.
The plan
Then it hits you. A plan that will give you hours of fun AND, if executed professionally, send your pig-like family to the poor house where they belong, the bastards.
The idea is this : purchase the worlds most expensive crap hi-fi. Why ? because :
1) The quest will drive you quickly and efficiently to bankruptcy.
2) The quest to spend the MOST on the WORST will be a hell of a laugh.
3) No one will be any the wiser until it's too late. Let's face it - bugger all of your civilian next-door neighbors suspect that your "nice sounding" system has cost you more than the GDP of Afghanistan.
4) Post detonation the gear will be worth about as much as your smoking remains.
The question
The question is this : What LP/CD/preamp/power amp(s)/speakers will hoover up the most cash, give the worst possible results and be totally worthless on the second-hand market ?
You go the doctor and he says "Mate, it seems dat on your recent trip up de Congo you contracted an extremely rare tropical disease. In approximately six months you will spontanehously explode. Sorry."
Besides being already moderately well healed, your life is insured for "buckets" and the policy pays out in advance for terminal conditions.
This is a complicated situation because on the one hand you are now wealthy beyond your wildest dreams but on the other hand you have bugger all time to enjoy it, if indeed any form of "enjoyment" is possible with the big bang just round the corner. To add insult to injury you have never really loved your "loved ones" and they are already starting to circle like vultures.
The plan
Then it hits you. A plan that will give you hours of fun AND, if executed professionally, send your pig-like family to the poor house where they belong, the bastards.
The idea is this : purchase the worlds most expensive crap hi-fi. Why ? because :
1) The quest will drive you quickly and efficiently to bankruptcy.
2) The quest to spend the MOST on the WORST will be a hell of a laugh.
3) No one will be any the wiser until it's too late. Let's face it - bugger all of your civilian next-door neighbors suspect that your "nice sounding" system has cost you more than the GDP of Afghanistan.
4) Post detonation the gear will be worth about as much as your smoking remains.
The question
The question is this : What LP/CD/preamp/power amp(s)/speakers will hoover up the most cash, give the worst possible results and be totally worthless on the second-hand market ?
Frankly, I'm disappointed. I come to the oracle of all hi-fi knowledge seeking precision and all I get is mockery and waffle. It's simply not good enough.
Surely somewhere on this wonderful plant of ours there exists a turntable fashioned from a 500 pound block of alabaster encased in a kelvin zero jacket with a 300 psi reverse-osmosis platter and a 17 karat stylus tip that costs $3M USD and sounds like a skipful of burning cats ? What sort of turntable does Mike Tyson run ? Isn't there some sort of military grade amplifier derived from alien technology that runs it's own fast-breed reactor using Trident submarine fuel rods that produces a soundstage so deep and wide that you have to have a lounge the size of the coliseum to hear all the instruments ?
Come on chaps, time's a wastin
Surely somewhere on this wonderful plant of ours there exists a turntable fashioned from a 500 pound block of alabaster encased in a kelvin zero jacket with a 300 psi reverse-osmosis platter and a 17 karat stylus tip that costs $3M USD and sounds like a skipful of burning cats ? What sort of turntable does Mike Tyson run ? Isn't there some sort of military grade amplifier derived from alien technology that runs it's own fast-breed reactor using Trident submarine fuel rods that produces a soundstage so deep and wide that you have to have a lounge the size of the coliseum to hear all the instruments ?
Come on chaps, time's a wastin
quote:
Originally posted by Minky:
Frankly, I'm disappointed. I come to the oracle of all hi-fi knowledge seeking precision and all I get is mockery and waffle. It's simply not good enough.
.....bla bla bla....
Come on chaps, time's a wastin
OK, you asked for it. This beauy might not meet your price criteria but it must come pretty cose to taking the biscuit for minimum VFM. Recently failed to sell on epay with a reserve price of US$7000, can't work out why.
"The CD Player is called "Carissima Donna" and is build by a Hi-End specialised East European company with German input - Art&Sound - which creates innovative technology mixed with genuine art productions. And the results are just splendid! This is not just a CD Player, it's a Modern Art marble sculpture mixed with High End sound. "
Steve
[This message was edited by Stevea on Mon 22 March 2004 at 22:42.]
Here’s what you’re looking for.
Start with the best wood knob money can buy.
http://www.referenceaudiomods.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=NOB_C37_C&Category_Code=VOLUME&Product_Count=2
At only $485 each you could put them on everything. Hopefully there won’t be a discount if you buy them by the dozen.
"How can this make a difference??? Well, hearing is believing as we always say. The sound becomes much more open and free flowing with a nice improvement in resolution. Dynamics are better and overall naturalness is improved."
Mitch
Start with the best wood knob money can buy.
http://www.referenceaudiomods.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=NOB_C37_C&Category_Code=VOLUME&Product_Count=2
At only $485 each you could put them on everything. Hopefully there won’t be a discount if you buy them by the dozen.
"How can this make a difference??? Well, hearing is believing as we always say. The sound becomes much more open and free flowing with a nice improvement in resolution. Dynamics are better and overall naturalness is improved."
Mitch
Mitch,
Those are exciting, well priced knobs ! I can see them babies adorning a stack of Krells.
Stevea,
Sound idea but I just don't have time
Redeye,
That's either a compliment or an insult. Innit ?
Jono,
Piss up a rope stick dolphin muncher.
Those are exciting, well priced knobs ! I can see them babies adorning a stack of Krells.
Stevea,
Sound idea but I just don't have time
Redeye,
That's either a compliment or an insult. Innit ?
Jono,
Piss up a rope stick dolphin muncher.
hmmm, so -ve resale value is a requirement here too. How fast can you fill in the gaps in Pl_n__s? 
Surely anything you can buy in this instance can double as a mooring for your expensive yacht on which you while away the hours to your impending doom with a bevvy of bronzed brunette bimbettes - rendering even the best VFM system known to man or beast (the party pack TM) worthless?
Rico - SM/Mullet Audio
Surely anything you can buy in this instance can double as a mooring for your expensive yacht on which you while away the hours to your impending doom with a bevvy of bronzed brunette bimbettes - rendering even the best VFM system known to man or beast (the party pack TM) worthless?
Rico - SM/Mullet Audio
Joe, I just laughed so hard I sh*t my p*nts. This is exactly what I was after 
Will this lot definitely sound bad ? Surely this needs to be debated on the hi-fi forum ?
Will this lot definitely sound bad ? Surely this needs to be debated on the hi-fi forum ?