* WARMINGTON UPON SEA IMMEDIATE UPGRADE *

Of Course we know it's really "On Sea" , but "Careless Talk, Cost's Job's & Profit" innit.

A nice little double Double earner:

"I didn't know that after Saudi, Russia is the World's biggest Oil Producer , did You ?


Fritz Von Kasparov

In retrospect I think the Prime Minister really did act in good faith !

He's a Fuckin great actor:

You'll have to give up lunch time drinking....



Tony

Sales of Ian & John Anderson records have gone through the roof, as have old
re-dubs of our Gracie and Vera to put public into right right frame of mind like
! Don't Panic Don't Panic that's the ticket, innit.


Fritz von Doyouthinkthat'swiseSir ?


PPPPS: I recall the Staines air crash in London in the 70's when thousands of people took to their carsd to sightsee, collect momentos (bits of plane) and hinder ambulances, etc, etc ,etc, probably resulting in more unessessary death's, CYNICAL or what, damm fuckin right I am.

Gimmee Shelter:

P.S. It's a pity 65% of young Brits can't read !!!
PPS Check Dooning St & Home Office Websites for further instructions, cos it's your 8 million squid they're spending afterall, innit:

Keep tuned in regularly to Tonys BBC WORLD EMPIRE SERVICE for latest instructions on impending DOOMSDAY SCARIO, innit.

Fritz von It'sallinyourradiotimes

P.S. Wanna buy somme cheap nylons guvnor ?

When and if you recieve your postal vote safety booklet (some may stray?), please fill it in for all the family and return it post haste to 2 Jags's office (Dep. P.M: "Don't tell me, I know")who'll duly process it for you in time for the next election.


Fritz von Convenientlyandpcfriendlyforeverynationalitynowthatwe'reineurope

Pizz: Never mind Abbey, she's a Nationalist from Barcelona !

Sugar soon to be rationed in all non farming areas. "We're just too bloody fat says Brig. Lindsey-Woolsey-Overtheeyesey.


Fritz Von Ishouldcocoa !

So Scholes doesn't want to play for England anymore, Shouldn't it be the other way round ?

Shabby Nazi Tricks I ask you !

Fritz Von Doyouthinkthat'swisesir ?

In his Civilian guise of Bank Manager, Warmington's No 1 was in the process of
opening up shop; assisted by his trusty sidekick Mr Wilson. "It seems the Bank
of England are going to raise interest rates tommorow Wilson by ½%, in fact it
could well be only ¼%, followed by another ¼% later in the year to soften the
blow ?" "Do you think that's wise Sir ?" replied Mr Wilson.
At that moment the
junior clerk Pike rushed in shouting "Mr Mainwaring, Mr Mainwaring, I've just
seen a midget Japüanese warrior flying down the street", to which his Superior
replied in well rehearsed tones "Stupid Boy", though Mr Wilson did interject
with, "Actually Sir, I did seem to notice a rather nasty little nip in the air
this morning, didn't you ?"


Fritz Von Itwasninetyyearsagotodaysgtpepper&mustard *******

P.S. I've been making a fool of myself all of my life, why should I stop now ?

quote:

---

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
P.S. I've been making a fool of myself all of my life, why should I stop now ?

---

Because it gets boring?

"What ist yore name boz


Don~t tel;l him Pike !!!

SHABBY NAZI TRICKS INNIT

Never mind Warmington Mr Ricketts, your supervisor is well pissed off with you! Get back to B'wood and start stacking those shelves immediately!

Tumbled again ! what's Bollywood got to do with it ?

Fritz Von Cornedbeef

Bollywood? I didn't realise they had a Wickes in Bollywood. Still, if it's true, you'll be able to stack, sing and dance all at the same time

Brentwood, you um it & I'll play it son awright ?

Fritz Von Wood-Boreham (No, that's the job of the honourable member from Haifa, innit Man)

"Sing if you're Gay to be Glad"


Innit

Of course there's the Geeezr from Northolt who reckon's he's a decent Engineer ! Does play strange music though :

Fritz Von Whatanoef

Of course as you all probably know the first ever pubic television service was broadcast by the German's, A shabby nazi trick and the sod's nearly won the game too, but that's history innit, lest we forget how naughty folk really can be if they so desire.

Fritz Von Sorryvicari'mtakingoveryourofficethisiswarinnit

The men were warming up in the church hall as the temperature outside could have
frozen the bell's off of a brass monkey, then the Captain smartly marched in,
slightly tripping over Jones's pack who was duly reprimanded for it (Sgt Wilson
made a safety note in his book, though his pencil was blunt, and Pike's Mum had
already mentioned that his pockets were worn out ?).
Attenshum !!! "Fraser,
You're Scottish and ex-Royal Navy, what's this architect rubbish got to do with
us man ?", "Sir, We're DOOMED SO WE ARE SIR, DOOMED".
DOOMED, Jonesie put in that he had a bit of extra brisket for Mrs Mainwaring, but it'd been a bit trampled
upon, when entering, Sir, hopefully next week I can get some nice tomatoes in
from Shanklin Sir, they go luvvly with a bit ov brisket, even though it's a bit
trampled upon Sir, Mr Mainwaring; Mrs Mainwaring won't know will she sir ? unless you tell her of course !


Enuff²

Graham George Of Holyroodwibblywobblyhoose ** DOOMED**WE ARE DOOMED *****

Remember Jones, Walker, Nobody gets on to the Pier without the correct Password, is that absolutely clear men ? "Yes Sir Mr Mainwaring, I mean Captain". "Ere Jo, What is the Password, I've forgotten it ?" "Jack, Jonesie" "No Jo !" "No the Password's Jack you silly old suasage". The men warded off any possible intruders knowing full well that these Nazi shambles were capable of all sorts of shabby tricks.


Sure Jack Of Future P.M. Fame.


The Snootiest of Foxes like to be seen at Blunkin Donut's

"Right Men, Have you all read the news about these submarines the Canadians have purchased ?" "Yes Captain Mainwaring", "Wilson, I think it's typcal shabby MOD trick don't you ?" "Mmmmmm". Fraser commented that it was lucky there wasn't a war on, or they'd all be DOOMED.

"Them Fuzzy Wuzzies don't like it up-em Sir, they don't like it up-em!"

"Be Quiet Jones !!!"

innit.



innit.