Ross Mackenzie this is your thread

Posted by: Rzme0 on 03 December 2004

Never slow to jump on what could be a highly rewarding bandwagon I have decided to allocate myself my very own thread.

As one who has made his mark in life - the peaks have been scaled and the depths have been plumbed; I feel you could all benefit from my experience so please use my personal thread as an area where you can dip your posting toes into a benevolent environment where you can build up a bit of fortitude before attempting to post in more forbidding threads.

I am well qualified to offer sage and reliable advice on any topic you may care to mention and willing lend a comforting ear to any personal matters that may concern you - however embarassing or humiliating they may seem to you. Your confidential personal information, dark secrets and failures will remain hidden on this thread. Your posting testosterone will build up and you'll leave here feeling confident and refreshed

Any advice I may subject you to is free of course and my thread is open to any other contributor whose opinions closely match my own and has a tick in my 'acceptable poster' box.

I look forward to imposing myself upon you.

cheers

Ross

Posted on: 03 December 2004 by HTK

Dear Ross

'A friend of mine' hs obtained what he thinks might possibly in some quarters be considered by some, but not all, an illegal copy of XP Pro - although the bloke he bought it from in the pub claimed he was a Microsoft Product Manager on a walking holiday.

My question is, if I *COUGH*.... sorry, if he loads this onto his PC, will he get a knock on the door at 3am from men in dark suits?

Is it true that they will demand my *COUGH*... sorry (again) his first born?

And, BTW do you happen to have any spare serial numbers knocking about?

Thank you for letting me post in *your* thread.

Harry

Posted on: 04 December 2004 by Rzme0

Harry

It bodes well for you that you have posted your troubles - sharing is good for you.

Please be assured they will remain confidential as you and I are the only ones that post here.

It is well known in the industry that microsoft executives are encouraged and often measured on what are known as 'prod-abouts'. These jaunts allow the executives to meet the pirating public and soliciting their views whilst seeding the market with beta versions of software written by acne-ridden youths for whom the solution to badly written code is ever faster hardware to cover up their programming inadequacies.

It is your duty to copy these hookey products - but you must not use them. Using them means not a knock at your door at 3 am but a knock in your hard drive at 7200 rpm.

They will not demand your *COUGH* ... his first born, but your first PORN. This is to augment the microsoft executive Clip-Art suite available to all managers of a certain salary grade to compensate for the loss in value of their stock option plan.

I'm afraid I can't help with the serial number question. Try using your National Insurance Number - it works for me.

It is a pleasure to have you on my thread, but next time please remove your shoes before entering.

cheers

Ross

Posted on: 04 December 2004 by HTK

Sorry. Shoes off it is then. It's OK Patrick, I don't think he's in here. He's a bit busy trying to get another XP thread pulled at the moment.

Got any spare serial numbers?

Harry

Posted on: 04 December 2004 by Rzme0

Patrick

Thank you for taking off your shoes. Your parents will be very proud of you and so are we.

There is no need to be timid here. This is a safe place.

We need to work on Harry's serial number fixation and replace it with something healthy like alcohol dependence.

Posted on: 05 December 2004 by HTK

Alcohol dependence is healthy? So that's where I've been going wrong.

Cheers

Harry

Posted on: 10 December 2004 by Tarquin Maynard - Portly

quote:
Originally posted by HTK:
Sorry. Shoes off it is then. It's OK Patrick, I don't think he's in here. He's a bit busy trying to get another XP thread pulled at the moment.

Harry

Hey Harry

Only just seen this : looks like you have forgotten why an earlier thread was pulled - here is a clue:

( 4 december, 11.14 )

quote:
Originally posted by HTK:
I don't know for sure why it was pulled but I assume my reporting your offensive behaviour had something to do with it

I do hope the client trip went well.

Regards

Mike

Spending money I don't have on things I don't need.

Posted on: 10 December 2004 by HTK

Sorry to jump into your thread Ross.

Mike - are we straight now? I hope our future banterings will be civil and that the air has been cleared. Your call Mike.

Cheers

Harry

Posted on: 10 December 2004 by Tarquin Maynard - Portly

having just found a picture of AN Other, I am in a particularly mellow mood. As such, I am willing to ignore the barbs in your last apology request, I'm happy to say sorry for winding you up in the past, I'm glad that you have clearly dismissed my area of query and wish you a happy new year and a prosperous 2005.

<manly hugs all round >

Regards

Mike

Spending money I don't have on things I don't need.

Posted on: 10 December 2004 by JonR

Yippeee !!

Posted on: 10 December 2004 by Tarquin Maynard - Portly

You can shut up

Regards

Mike

Spending money I don't have on things I don't need.

Posted on: 10 December 2004 by JonR

quote:
Originally posted by mike lacey:
You can shut up

Regards

Mike

Hee hee

JR (tries to imagine a manly hug between mike & HTK - snigger...!)

Posted on: 10 December 2004 by HTK

Mike. Not to start irritating you with apologies:

With hindsight I realise that pasting the ‘N’ word in without asterisking it was a bad move. I was absolutely disgusted with that posting and obviously only repeated the offence – which was not my intention. Quite the opposite.

I take your point. OK Enough. What shall we argue about now?

Have you stopped giggling yet Jon?

Cheers

Harry

Posted on: 10 December 2004 by JonR

quote:
Originally posted by HTK:
Have you stopped giggling yet Jon?

Errr....

Yah.

I don't want you to start arguing about me!

Cheers,

JR [sneaks away quietly, head bowed, now that he's seen enough ]

Posted on: 10 December 2004 by Tarquin Maynard - Portly

quote:
Originally posted by HTK:
. What shall we argue about now?

Cheers

Harry

The mere absence of a issue over which we can argue should not be seen as a reason not to squabble, at least.

Regards

Mike

Spending money I don't have on things I don't need.

Posted on: 10 December 2004 by HTK

OK then. Thanks, and I'll try to think of something.

Best wishes

Harry

Posted on: 15 December 2004 by Rzme0

I've been away spending my way out of debt.

I can only assume that in my absence you've all remembered to take your shoes off whilst visiting my thread.

I makes everyone so pleasant and well mannered.

I'm very proud of you.

Award yourselves 10 house points!

[This message was edited by Ross Mackenzie on Wed 15 December 2004 at 11:32.]

Posted on: 15 December 2004 by JonR

Ross,

We all need a group hug now you're back.

Thanks.