Chat up lines!

Posted by: cunningplan on 05 October 2004

Having recently run into an old friend and drinking buddie that I haven't seen in 17 years, it reminded me of his original and rather uncouth chat up line.

I may add here that it didn't often work, but there was the odd occassion it did. It often made me chuckle because I knew what would happen when it failed, a drink in the face, a slap across the face, and excuse the pun a bit of a tongue lashing from the victim.

The line was... "Do your tits swing when you're being shagged from behind?"

I was just wondering if any of you guys used an original or funny chat up line in your youth, and the ones that are still in their youth what do you use? I myself often found them to be corny and never used one, well not that I can remember anyway!

Regards
Clive
Posted on: 05 October 2004 by Kevin-W
Never used a chat-up line, I'm rubbish with girls. If anyone's got any good 'uns I'd love to hear them.

But it reminds me of a brilliant cartoon I once saw:

Two just-eaten fish in a woman's stomach. One turns to the other and says: "What's a nice plaice like you doing in a girl like this?"

Kevin (BBC Radio 4)
Posted on: 05 October 2004 by Stephen Bennett
One guy I used to know used this chat-up line in nighclubs. He wasn't good looking or charming - but he had a 30-40% success rate...

He'd ask any likely looking girl; 'You, me and the hot-tub baby'

He was from Sussex.

A guy at school (50% apparent success rate) just used to ask girls at parties..

'Do you want a f^&k?'

If they said no, slapped him, laughed or just ignored him he moved onto the next.

He looked like Tom Waits looks now on a bad day - and he was only 18 then!

It's all about confidence.

Regards

Stephen
Posted on: 05 October 2004 by Berlin Fritz
"Wotta yah makin me for breakfast Darlin ?"



G.G.v.Bluejeanbaby Wink
Posted on: 05 October 2004 by steved
Best chat up line "How would you like your eggs in the morning?"

Best put-down "Unfertilised!!"

Steve D
Posted on: 05 October 2004 by Markus S
British girls seem a tad peculiar, if those lines actually do work on them.
Posted on: 05 October 2004 by domfjbrown
Chat up lines very rarely work.

Being yourself and genuine is the key.

This is why going out "on the pull" will usually wind you up with nothing or a real slag, as only nasty girls go for crap lines from people who are obviously trying to be something they're not.

British girls are fairly frigid in both mine and mates' experience. They're bloody hard to break the ice with. Mind you, with me it probably doesn't help that a) I really can't be bothered to make an effort b) am usually skint and c) just don't see the point in having a relationship with something that'll backstab and betray you. And while I know not all women are like that, I don't think it's worth the risk. Actually - scratch that - I'm just chickensh1t!

I've been so tempted to try out Kevin Bl**dy Wilson's chat up line though:
"Do you f**k on first dates
does your dad own a brewery
could I feel your tits
or would you show them to me"...

...he goes on to say:
"This new method of mine
may not work every time
but then again no method will

I've been spat at and slapped
and kneed in the knackers
he he but then I've got a few f**ks as well!"

__________________________
Don't wanna be cremated or buried in a grave
Just dump me in a plastic bag and leave me on the pavement
A tribute to your modern world, your great society
I'm just another victim of your highrise fantasy!
Posted on: 05 October 2004 by ChrisD
wanna go halves on a bastard?

and no ive never had the guts to actually try that one. most women round here would probably be too stupid to get it anyway,
Posted on: 05 October 2004 by Spock
I tend to dribble before I can get the words out.

Spock
Posted on: 05 October 2004 by cunningplan
Spock said
quote:
I tend to dribble before I can get the words out.

I hope that's down your chin and not anywhere else, but if you do have a Prostate problem see your GP Big Grin

Regards
Clive
Posted on: 05 October 2004 by ErikL
Your face or mine?
Posted on: 05 October 2004 by jayd
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

Never tried it. Saw it work for a friend who didn't need it anyways. Bastard.
Posted on: 05 October 2004 by bjorne
You are all so sofisticated. Here in Sweden we don't do much chit chatting, we just grab whoever we fancy. Talking is so overrated imo Cool
Posted on: 05 October 2004 by Berlin Fritz
"Hello I love You Wont You Tell Me your Name ?"
Posted on: 06 October 2004 by kevj
"Do you want a shag?"

[reply] "No!"

"Do you mind lying down while I have one?"

I never met anyone with the courage to actually use it.....

Kevin
Posted on: 06 October 2004 by Brian OReilly
Guys.

Guys,

is it just me? Would anyone object if we consigned this thread to that deep, dark place on an obscure hard-drive on another equally obscure server, somewhere obscure ?

Brian
Posted on: 06 October 2004 by matthewr
I don't think that would work Brian unless you were chatting up some kind of sysadmin.

Matthew

PS I agree.
Posted on: 06 October 2004 by Fisbey
D'you fancy a grim time Big Grin
Posted on: 06 October 2004 by ChrisD
wanna pizza then a f*ck?

NO

what, dont you like pizza?!!!
Posted on: 07 October 2004 by domfjbrown
quote:
Originally posted by AlexG:
Me: Do you believe in sex on the first date?
Victim: No.
Me: Me neither. Meet me in the bathroom in 10 minutes.


OK - so that's tacky and cheap - but disarmingly cool! Even *I'd* have the guts to try that one out Wink Might see if it works tomorrow night at the Dark Soho gig (then again, maybe not!).

__________________________
Don't wanna be cremated or buried in a grave
Just dump me in a plastic bag and leave me on the pavement
A tribute to your modern world, your great society
I'm just another victim of your highrise fantasy!
Posted on: 07 October 2004 by JeremyD
When I was in my mid twenties, on my second unsuccessful attempt at being a student, another student and I were supposed to discuss something or other to do with a student society we were in.

Here's my memory of how the conversation went:

Ms X: Shall we discuss it over breakfast?

JD: Breakfast? Well, I suffer from insomnia, and tend to arrive a few minutes late for my first lecture... Oh never mind, I'll manage it - see you in the cafeteria at 8:30?

Ms X: OK...

She seemed kind of distracted at our breakfast meeting - I couldn't quite figure out why.

It was years later that it occurred to me that when she said "Shall we discuss it over breakfast" she might possibly have meant...
...Although I'm sure she didn't really - didn't seem the type.
Hmmm...
Not, I hasten to add, that I would have if that was what she had meant...
Posted on: 09 October 2004 by Berlin Fritz
Scaasgit say's to Liverbird at a party "I'd love t'tickle yer belly button luv",
Giggles promtly persue; "Would'yer Whack ? well go on then like If yer want?", "I mean't from the inside darlin". Slap, fight, marriage, 7 kids down the line, best lads on the fuckin earth them Scousers, innit.



Graham George Von Thechiefremindedmeofthatonewhils'tsavingabarfromfallinlastnightwithasliceofarangeinhisgobandreekinoftequila ! Smile