Talking Of Repetitive Old Windbags !!!
Posted by: Berlin Fritz on 02 October 2004
"We're all used to ABC wasting taxpayers money, but this is outrageous," a
spokesman for Australia's Federal Government told reporters in Canberra, "and
more than that, it's thoroughly distasteful. A few weeks ago, our national
broadcaster was pleading poverty as na excuse for axing their children's news
programme. Yet now it seems they have enough money to pay a scientist to teach
kids how to break wind more effectively."
Despite government protests, Dr Karl
Kruszelnicki defended his research, which is being funded by the Australian
Broadcasting Corporation. "The average fart is a joyous event," he informed the
audience of his children's science show, "yet they're considered so embarrassing
that we don't even have a good word for them, just a cold technical term like
'flatus,' or a lot of euthemisms like cutting the cheese or letting one fly. But
they're only possible at all thanks to the magnificent job that your wondrous
anal sphincter performs about ten times each day without fail, releasing gas
without letting any solid or liquid pass through.No other muscle in the body
is such a protector of the dignity of man, yet so ready to come to his relief,
and I doubt wether any device made by the human race could equal this task, let
alone keep doing it for seventy years. It's a miracle." Dr Kruszelnicki has
particularly angered ministers by encouraging children to take part in his "
Great Faer Survey, and Great Baked Beans Fart Experiment. We want to know what
are the farts of Australia's kids really like ? Are we a nation of 'silent but
deadlies', or 'machine gunners'? And how much do baked beans really increase
your farting ability?"
(Sydney Daily Telegraph, 08.07.04.-Star Spotter. David McPhee)
Taken from latest handheld edition of Lord Gnome's finest (issue 1116) 01.10.04.
innit.
spokesman for Australia's Federal Government told reporters in Canberra, "and
more than that, it's thoroughly distasteful. A few weeks ago, our national
broadcaster was pleading poverty as na excuse for axing their children's news
programme. Yet now it seems they have enough money to pay a scientist to teach
kids how to break wind more effectively."
Despite government protests, Dr Karl
Kruszelnicki defended his research, which is being funded by the Australian
Broadcasting Corporation. "The average fart is a joyous event," he informed the
audience of his children's science show, "yet they're considered so embarrassing
that we don't even have a good word for them, just a cold technical term like
'flatus,' or a lot of euthemisms like cutting the cheese or letting one fly. But
they're only possible at all thanks to the magnificent job that your wondrous
anal sphincter performs about ten times each day without fail, releasing gas
without letting any solid or liquid pass through.No other muscle in the body
is such a protector of the dignity of man, yet so ready to come to his relief,
and I doubt wether any device made by the human race could equal this task, let
alone keep doing it for seventy years. It's a miracle." Dr Kruszelnicki has
particularly angered ministers by encouraging children to take part in his "
Great Faer Survey, and Great Baked Beans Fart Experiment. We want to know what
are the farts of Australia's kids really like ? Are we a nation of 'silent but
deadlies', or 'machine gunners'? And how much do baked beans really increase
your farting ability?"
(Sydney Daily Telegraph, 08.07.04.-Star Spotter. David McPhee)
Taken from latest handheld edition of Lord Gnome's finest (issue 1116) 01.10.04.
innit.