Bizarre E-mail Messages

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To exclude yourself from future 0ffers, please go visit our we,bpage

A very beautiful girl walked up to a department store's fabric counter and
said, "How much is this?""Only a kiss a meter," replied the smirking man
assistant."That's fine." replied the girl. "I'll take for meters." The
assistant quickly measured the material, wrapped it and then gave it to the
girl. Taking it, the girl turned and pointed to an old man standing beside
her. "MY grandpa will pay the bill." she said.
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births
to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says,
"Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager
of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and
says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I
worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to
the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and
says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy
until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and
banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered,
"What's wrong? I work for 7up"!

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eeuqram cmihp dynt


We are your your convenient, safe and private online source for FDA
a-p`p`roved ph'armacy prescriptions.

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A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of
the wine, then tossed the remainder into the bartender's face. Before the
bartender could recover from the surprise, the man began weeping. "I'm
sorry," he said. "I'm really sorry. I keep doing that to bartenders. I can't
tell you how embarrassing it is to have a compulsion like this." Far from
being angry, the bartender was sympathetic. Before long, he was suggesting
that the man see an analyst about his problem. "I happen to have the name of
a psychoanalyst," the bartender said. "My brother and my wife have both been
treated by him, and they say he's as good as they get."Six months later, the
man was back. "Did you do what I suggested?" the bartender asked, serving a
glass of white wine."I certainly did," the man said. "I've been seeing the
psychoanalyst twice a week." He took a sip of the wine, then he threw the
remainder into the bartender's face. The flustered bartender wiped his face
with a towel. "The doctor doesn't seem to be doing you any good," he
sputtered. "On the contrary," the man claimed, "he's done me world of good."
"But you threw the wine in my face again!" the bartender exclaimed. "Yes,"
the man replied. "But it doesn't embarrass me anymore."
A woman went into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband's
funeral. She told the director that she wanted her husband to be buried in a
dark blue suit. He asked, "Wouldn't it just be easier to bury him in the
black suit that he's wearing?""No," she insisted as she handed him a check
to buy a dark blue suit. "It must be blue."When she came back for the wake,
she saw her husband in the coffin, and he was wearing a beautiful blue suit.
She told the director how much she loved the suit and asked how much it
cost. He said, "Actually, it didn't cost anything. The funniest thing
happened. As soon as you left, another corpse was brought in wearing a blue
suit. I noticed that they were about the same size, and asked the other
widow if she would mind if her husband were buried in a black suit. She said
that was fine with her, so I switched the heads."

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Subject : Chain letter

Simply send this e-mail to 9 of your mates.

INSTRUCTIONS :

Anaesthetize your wife, put her in a large carton, (don't forget some ventilation holes), and send it to the person who is at the top of your list. Soon, your name will be at the top of the list, and you will receive 823,542 women through the post. Statistically, among those women, will be at least:

0.5 Miss Worlds
2.5 Models
463 Wild nymphos
3,234 Good-looking nymphos
20,198 Who enjoy multiple orgasms
40,198 Bi-sexual women.

In total, that is 64,294 women who are simply hornier, less inhibited, and tastier than the grumpy old bag you posted off. And, best of all, your original package is guaranteed not to be one of those that come back to you.

DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN LETTER.

One bloke for example who sent the letter to only 5 instead of 9 of his friends got his original bird back, still in the old dressing gown he sent her off in, with the same old migraine attack, and the accusatorial expression on her face. On the same day, the international supermodel he'd been living with since he sent off his old girlfriend moved out to live with his best friend (to whom he had not sent the chain letter). While I am sending this letter, the bloke that is in 6th place above me has already received 837 women and is lying in hospital suffering from exhaustion. Outside his ward are 452 more packages.

YOU MUST BELIEVE THIS E-MAIL.

This is a unique opportunity to achieve a totally satisfying sex life. No expensive meals out, no lengthy conversations about trivialities (that only interest women). No obligations, no grumpy mother-in-law, and no unpleasant surprises like marriage or engagement. Do not hesitate........send this letter today to 9 of your best friends.

PS. - Even when you have no girlfriend, you can send your vacuum cleaner.

PPS. - This letter can also be copied to women you know so that they can prepare themselves for the great adventure that they may soon undertake.

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Originally posted by redgirl73:

1. What possible purpose would getting big erections serve me? (obviously an easy target for all you quippers)

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Originally posted by JeremyD:
This one doesn't quite match the usual pattern, as it actually makes sense in places, although making sense and being funny are quite different things:

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