Classic Quotes

"To be quite honest the right wing knee jerk, "I'm alright Jack" mentality that is spouted on this board by a bunch of self satisfied grasping, morally defunct, wealthy egotists makes my sick."

Tom Alves (in grouchy mode).

Well, someone has to be first...

Originally posted by Mick Parry:

"As long as the oil flows, do we really care what they do.
The objective of the war was to topple Saddam as a warning to others (see how Gaddafi is towing the line), to verify that there was no WMD and to safeguard oil supplies.
So as long as the oil flows and they tow the line, who rules the place is academic.

Syntax, grammar, spelling, facts and sentiment. All so, so, so wrong. Classic.

Mick again i'm afraid

"You belong to the seventies and frankly, old chap, you are as dead as a Dodo"
Not bad considering Mick didn't know my surname is Bird

Neat expansion of the QOTT idea. Nice one Matthew,

Here is one from last February from Wolf, quoting Nelson M:

A quote from Nelson Mandela on George Bush:

"What I am condemning is that one power, with a president who has no foresight, who cannot think properly, is now wanting to plunge the world into a holocaust."

Not to start implying there are rules or anything, but I think it's probably worth saying, JonR that typically in such threads the idea it is to celebrate the moments when someone gets it right rather than to rake over the ahses of when it goes wrong. Examples like Mick's truly memorable attempt at Foreign Policy quoted by Rod nowithstanding.

To be classically quoted is meant to be a (reasonably) rare thing and something of an honour. It's definitely not meant to be used as a "Look How Dumb Poster X Is" thread either and if it shows any signs of such I'd distance myself from it completely.

Matthew

Fair comment, Matthew.

My apologies.

I have deleted my post.

jon

Thank you.

Have I done wrong? Sorry.
I thought there was a fair bit of "insight" in Mick's comment...

Anyway, to atone, albeit at risk of massaging M.R.'s ego, this made me laugh (as it did others):

Originally posted by Matthew Robinson:

""A front line of; Ryan, Ruud, Rooney, Ronaldo looks pretty formidable"
Certainly for Jonathan Ross."


Rod

Not at all, Rod, your Mick quote was indeed a classic.

Matthew

Pretty much everything Alex S writes is a classic, so I'm at a loss to find a single gem among the many precious stones. But here are a few that tipped off people at work that I might not be struggling where to hyphenate "woodpecker holes" (long story, but suffice it to say that I should not have broken "wood" and "-pecker holes" over a page).

Alex on chilies: "Anyway, as you all know the only real problem with chiles is next morning."

Alex on computers: "A pram reset is what you need when you've thrown all your toys out of it arguing with Bub on PFM."

Alex on vodka consumption (after seeing a picture of Vuk's freezer with five full bottles of Stoli): "I'm also surprised he only buys a day's supply at a time."

Alex on providing a detailed ornithological description of an orphaned bird he found: "Its a small bundle of feathers with 2 short legs one end and a beak the other."

Joe

Thanks Joe, but can't help thinking bon mots are beaucoup plus bon the first time round. Anyway, this gives me the great opportunity for the follwing quote. A classic, if not the classic:

quote:

---

With all the FEPs being awarded and rescinded on the forum, maybe we should calibrate the scale so the points mean something.

Although some components work together synergistically -- suggesting that FEPs awarded to individual components can be multiplied -- for simplicity we should add individual points to get an overall FEP score.

Ready? Get a pad and pencil out and tally your FEPs...

Source FEPS
· Is your turntable worth more than your speakers? If yes, add 35 points.

· Do you own a record cleaner? If yes, add 25 points.

· Is your turntable placed on a dedicated altar? If yes, add 20 points.

· Do you use fancy anti-static inner sleeves? If yes, add 10 points.


· Does your turntable's platter weigh 50 kg or more? If yes, subtract 25 points.

· Is CD your only source? If yes, subtract 20 points, unless you own a CDS-II.

· Does your turntable have a record clamp? If yes, subtract 10 points.

Electronics FEPs
· Does your preamp have a mono switch? If yes, add 30 points.

· Have you ever accidentally left the preamp in mono but didn't notice for days? If yes, add 20 points.

· Did you paint the front of your 52 silver? If yes, add 10 points.


· Did you chintz out and get the preamp without a phono input? If yes, subtract 50 points.

· Does your preamp weigh 5 pounds and your power amp weigh 500? If yes, subtract 40 points.

· Does your preamp have tubes? If yes, subtract 30 points.


Speaker FEPs
· Do you own any of the following speakers: Kan I, Kan II, Sara, Isobarik, IBL, SBL, DBL, Quad 57s? If so, add 40 points.

· Do you position your speakers for the best overall groove and image (zero points), best groove (add 20 points), or best image (subtract 20 points)?


Lifestyle FEPs
· Do you enjoy air, space and blackness? If yes, subtract 40 points.

· Is it better to have thin but groovy bass (add 20 points) or full but flubby bass (subtract 20 points)?

· Have you ever spent an afternoon adjusting the tracking force for that magic value between 1.95 g and 1.97g? If yes, add 20 points.

· Do you vacuum your cartridge regularly, knowing full well that one day you'll suck the generator right out? If yes, add 15 points.

· Did you try all four positions of the belt and both positions of the mat on your LP12 to determine which sounds best? If yes, add 10 points. (If you ever wondered whether the belt and mat combinations interact and therefore exponentially increase the number of permutations add another 10 points. Add another 10 if you tried all permutations.)

· Do you spend Saturday afternoon at garage sales, looking for 50 cent LPs? If yes, add 10 points.

· Do you own a 45 RMP version of Yello's "Stella"? If yes, add 5 points.


· Do you own a half-speed master of ELP's "Tarkus"? If yes, subtract 40 points.

· Do you buy audiophool LPs for their smooth, silky sound? If yes subtract 35 points.

· Do you use a record clamp? If yes, subtract 20 points.

---

For anyone who doesn't know, the FEP or Flat Earth Point was the brainchild of Mr Petrik and the barometer by which all serious music lovers should be judged (I scored -250).

Alex

PS Only now have I realised how seriously Joe has it in for record clamps - deducting points twice for such a crime.

[This message was edited by Alex S. on Fri 01 October 2004 at 16:59.]

From memory

what’s an F STOP

Alex,

quote:

---

Only now have I realised how seriously Joe has it in for record clamps - deducting points twice for such a crime

---

Or what a shitty proofreader he is.

Joe

Yes I remember that. It was a good 'un.

Harry

Although note a "classic quote", exactly, Omer's (Vuk's Son) response to Peter Belt's "picture in the freezer theory" is a favorite of mine.

leave the quotes to the professionals,
my fave is winston churchills.
lady: sir! you are drunk!!
churchill: i maybe drunk and you are ugly but in the morning i will be sober.
"classic"
regards, scotty

As you know scotty WC has countelessly many good ones.

The story goes that at one point, during a speech to Parliament, an MP got up and began slowly walking over to the opposition side. Churchill pointed at him and said:
"That's the first time I've seen a rat swim toward a sinking ship!"

Vincent64's comments have a certain charm to them:

"So coming back to my "levitation" tries (ie. Hifi gears suspended in the air at the end of some solid strings in the stairs of my home and
their effect on musicality), here are some interesting results.

First, my wife did not like at all this new
joke completely messing the nice decoration
she had been making in the stairs of the home. She beleive it is time for me to see the Psy. She is fun!"

I wish he posted here more often.

From Alex B, everyone's favorite German electrical engineering student:

"As a poor student I can't afford buying all the CDs I'd like... Therfor I am looking for someone who could maybe get me some from Vietnam or similar. I know that ion Vietnam you can buy DVDs and CDs for 1 buck or 2 and maybe soemone here would be prepared to buy some for me and either bring them along when they're in europe again or send them to me... I'm just looking for a few CDs (2-300 or so) but would take less if I had too."

whateverfritzistakingiwantlotsofit.

<innit>

Also, Samantha Jones's alluring catchphrase which reeled in the dead donkey:

byeee

quote:

---

posted Wed 05 September 01 08:39  
To Fuk Fucksanovic

Mr Intolerant,

I had you down as an intelligent, although, somewhat eccentric, individual who had some useful things to say about hi-fi. However, your comments about me competing for the 'thickness' prize along with Steve Toy, demomstrate both your ignorance and lack of tolerance for opinions other than your own. You have never met me and you know absolutely nothing about me, therefore such derogative comments from yourself display your own severe lack of intelligence. This forum should be a vehicle for reasoned, constructive comment, I will not tolerate such remarks from someone who displays such a lack of common decency.

---

Sorry, couldn't resist it...

The funniest thing ever said on this forum was throbnorth's wonderful description of Justine's eviction outfit in the first Big Brother thread:

"I found it very hard to concentrate on anything that was said in the eviction show once Justine had revealed her 'tendence du soir' which appeared to involve arranging a row of unopened Fray Bentos pies around her bounteous hips in the manner of shields along the side of a Viking longboat. Such an admirable example of form following function would undoubtedly gladden the heart of Le Corbusier, but will it catch on? I do hope so.

Closely followed by "then closing credits roll as Tania belts out MOR drag classic medley with budgies sellotaped to her upper arms" from here

Matthew

PS I agree with Patrick, David Scott rocked.