Christening
Posted by: cunningplan on 20 June 2004
As a practicing atheist I’m just curious about the views of parents and christening.
We’ve got friends who have made a big thing about their kids being christened. Yet they never go to church, apart from weddings and funerals, and don’t really have a view on whether God exists.
I can’t really understand why they think that the christening of their children is something that they needed to do.
Don’t get me wrong, if people believe in God and go to church on a fairly regular basis I can understand why. I just feel that this appears to be just a fashionable thing for them to do.
How many parents on the forum have had their kids christened and are you regular church goers or not?
I would like to see what the percentage is, and hear your views.
Regards
Clive
We’ve got friends who have made a big thing about their kids being christened. Yet they never go to church, apart from weddings and funerals, and don’t really have a view on whether God exists.
I can’t really understand why they think that the christening of their children is something that they needed to do.
Don’t get me wrong, if people believe in God and go to church on a fairly regular basis I can understand why. I just feel that this appears to be just a fashionable thing for them to do.
How many parents on the forum have had their kids christened and are you regular church goers or not?
I would like to see what the percentage is, and hear your views.
Regards
Clive
Posted on: 20 June 2004 by Berlin Fritz
Maybe that should be Taunting Somerzet ?
Cheers, Fritz Von It'safreecountry
Cheers, Fritz Von It'safreecountry
Posted on: 20 June 2004 by cunningplan
quote:
Maybe that should be Taunting Somerzet ?
Cheers, Fritz Von It'safreecountry
I have no hidden agenda Mr Fritz, and I'm certainly not attempting to taunt anyone. I'm just interested in hearing forum members views.
Regards
Clive
Posted on: 20 June 2004 by HTK
I think it's just something people think they ought to do. I'm at a loss to see why, if they ain't church going god fearers, but it's none of my business really. Each to their own I guess.
Cheers
Harry
Cheers
Harry
Posted on: 20 June 2004 by Martin D
We didn’t have our twins christened. Religion is a bloody nuisance in our opinion, its divisive and is the cause of intolerance around the world. We did, however, have some friends and their children round, bite to eat, bit of cake for a sort of celebration – it was a very nice memorable day.
Posted on: 20 June 2004 by Former member
Clive,
I'm an atheist, and have always turned down Godparenting requests for that exact reason, however, everyone that asked me didn't seem the least bit perturbed regarding my non-beliefs, which in opinion negates the point of being a God-parent.
In saying that, a few of my friends have had their kids christened, as it apparently improves their choices of schools later on in life, but not one of them goes to church or is particulary religious. The rest of my friends just wanted an excuse to get drunk on a Sunday afternoon......
Jo
I'm an atheist, and have always turned down Godparenting requests for that exact reason, however, everyone that asked me didn't seem the least bit perturbed regarding my non-beliefs, which in opinion negates the point of being a God-parent.
In saying that, a few of my friends have had their kids christened, as it apparently improves their choices of schools later on in life, but not one of them goes to church or is particulary religious. The rest of my friends just wanted an excuse to get drunk on a Sunday afternoon......
Jo
Posted on: 20 June 2004 by BigH47
My sister and I were christened and when it came to my kids they have been chritened as well.I was brought up going to sunday school /church(Methodist) but stopped at around 13. My misses goes to church most weeks and is an acholyte sp? (CofE).It seemed not to have harmed me so I carry on the "tradition", and again the kids seem to be OK.
Howard
Howard
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by Former member
"and don’t really have a view on whether God exists."
Sounds like a lot of people when questioned seriously about it! It does seem to me that atheists have often given the subject quite a lot of thought.
Sounds like a lot of people when questioned seriously about it! It does seem to me that atheists have often given the subject quite a lot of thought.
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by woody
I went to my niece's christening yesterday (Sunday) and it was a totally non-religious experience for the parents despite the vicar trying their best...I'm agnostic but it seems to me people do it because it's just "what you do"
-- woody
-- woody
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by Rasher
I'm agnostic, but my wife is a disillusioned Catholic. She hates organised religion with a passion - (because it promotes hatred, cruelty etc etc), but insisted that we had our kids christened because deep down it means something to her when you strip away the hypocrites that run the show. Fair enough. One of my best friends is a full-on catholic, so I chose him as a godfather, and chose another best mate who is an atheist - to get a balance. A healthy balance I think.
We were not interested in having a family gathering. I couldn't think of anything worse!
We were not interested in having a family gathering. I couldn't think of anything worse!
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by Rockingdoc
Are you mad???
If your child dies before being christened it will suffer torment for eternity. How can you be so irresponsible?
On the other hand, it can be a pleasant day for family and friends to get together and celebrate the infant.
If your child dies before being christened it will suffer torment for eternity. How can you be so irresponsible?
On the other hand, it can be a pleasant day for family and friends to get together and celebrate the infant.
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by cunningplan
quote:
.I'm agnostic but it seems to me people do it because it's just "what you do"
-- woody
That's the conclusion I've come to, especially with our friends. They've done it because it just appears fashionable.
I just wonder what the church goers think of people who christen their kids just for that very reason?
Regards
Clive
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by cunningplan
quote:
Are you mad???
If your child dies before being christened it will suffer torment for eternity. How can you be so irresponsible?
Damn I didn't think of that! My 10 year old will be dragged down to the local church this Sunday and her head stuck in the Font whether she likes it or not!
Regards
Clive
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by MichaelC
I do not believe in god, the church, religion etc.
Once upon a time I was christened.
My children have been christened. Why? My parents suggested that although I may not have much time for religion it would perhaps be unfair on my children if they were not christened. I thought this was a fair point. They can make their minds up in the future just like I did.
Oh and there is an opportunity for a gathering of family/close friends.
Mike
Once upon a time I was christened.
My children have been christened. Why? My parents suggested that although I may not have much time for religion it would perhaps be unfair on my children if they were not christened. I thought this was a fair point. They can make their minds up in the future just like I did.
Oh and there is an opportunity for a gathering of family/close friends.
Mike
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by seagull
Mrs S and I were both brought up as Catholics. I lost my faith many years ago, Mrs S still attends church occasionally, but it is a local CoE church (gives me some free time to play some loud music so I don't complain).
We got married in a CofE church and the vicar said he was pleased to see so many familiar faces (but this was only because he was a regular at the Local Pub!) but that's another story...
We have had both our kids christened (again CofE) if only to allow them to choose later on - it is easier for them if thay have already been christened than having to go through all the 'training' if that is what they decide to do.
The looks on the faces of some of our Catholic relations was a joy to behold when they saw that Miss S was being christened by a WOMAN!!!
We got married in a CofE church and the vicar said he was pleased to see so many familiar faces (but this was only because he was a regular at the Local Pub!) but that's another story...
We have had both our kids christened (again CofE) if only to allow them to choose later on - it is easier for them if thay have already been christened than having to go through all the 'training' if that is what they decide to do.
The looks on the faces of some of our Catholic relations was a joy to behold when they saw that Miss S was being christened by a WOMAN!!!
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by Rasher
Oh yes - I forgot that bit. The bit that says that our loving and caring God will condemn a small baby to hell for all eternity should its parents not have him/her baptised. So of course, this is a community we should all want to join immediately. Sounds more like devil worship.
Personally I believe that loving your children to the extent that you are just maxed out, and to let them know that you love them so much, and make sure that they know how to demonstrate love too, is all the spirituality they need at this stage. Just leave the teaching of hatred and judgement to the church. I should think that God would be relieved that so many have decided to make up their own minds and abandon the church for something a little more considered - even if we don't have a name for it.
Maybe I've become a hippy!
Personally I believe that loving your children to the extent that you are just maxed out, and to let them know that you love them so much, and make sure that they know how to demonstrate love too, is all the spirituality they need at this stage. Just leave the teaching of hatred and judgement to the church. I should think that God would be relieved that so many have decided to make up their own minds and abandon the church for something a little more considered - even if we don't have a name for it.
Posted on: 21 June 2004 by Martin D
Rasher
Good reply
Good reply
Posted on: 23 June 2004 by Jonathan Gorse
I was under the impression that if you're not christened you cannot be buried in consecrated ground but as someone who isn't particularly religious I can't remember where I recall hearing this. Perhaps worth checking out - I have no idea where they put you as an alternative though!
Jonathan
Jonathan
Posted on: 23 June 2004 by Rico
Hmmm - interesting thread. I had been wondering from time to time about the question of having master rico christened, and hadn't yet gotten to the bottom of the matter. My overriding feeling is that Mme Rico and I only visit a church when abolutely necessary or for interest's sake, and didn't get married in one for similar reasons. This somewhat heathen position will likely allow master rico to choose his own christening later in life, should he decide he has missed out on anything or feel it is necessary (like as a prerequisite to joining a cult, or becomming a television evangelist).
In the mean time the general approach in Rasher's post above would appear to provide a reflection of my own lossly cobbled-together ideals, although more eloquently put. Nice work, Rasher!
Rico - SM/Mullet Audio
In the mean time the general approach in Rasher's post above would appear to provide a reflection of my own lossly cobbled-together ideals, although more eloquently put. Nice work, Rasher!
Rico - SM/Mullet Audio
Posted on: 23 June 2004 by Former member
Funnily enough tonight, on our weekly girlie outing to the pub, a friend of mine announced her pregnancy, and along with the announcement came the request of Godparenting! I declined, as an atheist, couldn't seriously go through with the church proceedings and am not comfortable with having to lie. However, interestingly enough her reasons for having the imminent child christened were:
1. A safety net 'just in case' (presumbly of going downstairs...)
2. She wanted me to have parental control if her and her husband died. (Not sure if I'm the best candidate for the job....)
3. I would play an 'official part' in her childs life (didn't quite understand what that meant, other than it might well cost me money! Was kidding)
4. A party on a Sunday afternoon.
Am up for part 4, but not sure of the first 3......
I replied I would be there for her and her family regardless of standing up in church and reading something that might well as be in Harry Potter for all I care. Thought that was more important....
Jo
1. A safety net 'just in case' (presumbly of going downstairs...)
2. She wanted me to have parental control if her and her husband died. (Not sure if I'm the best candidate for the job....)
3. I would play an 'official part' in her childs life (didn't quite understand what that meant, other than it might well cost me money! Was kidding)
4. A party on a Sunday afternoon.
Am up for part 4, but not sure of the first 3......
I replied I would be there for her and her family regardless of standing up in church and reading something that might well as be in Harry Potter for all I care. Thought that was more important....
Jo
Posted on: 23 June 2004 by Bhoyo
As I recall, you can't be married in church unless you've been baptised (as it's properly known in most denominations).
Even if you don't do the religious thing, you should have some sort of naming ceremony with family and friends, and tons of photos that you'll be very glad about down the road.
Regards,
Davie
Even if you don't do the religious thing, you should have some sort of naming ceremony with family and friends, and tons of photos that you'll be very glad about down the road.
Regards,
Davie
Posted on: 23 June 2004 by JohanR
Being a non religious I was once a godparent. Didn't do me any harm, I even got to shag the mother! A couple of years later that is, after they where divorced, I must ad to those who would now think of me as a completely amoral person.
My current girlfriend comes from a Muslim country (Iraq). That would probably raise some interesting questions if any of us was religious. And the stork would be kind enough to deliver an infant...
JohanR
My current girlfriend comes from a Muslim country (Iraq). That would probably raise some interesting questions if any of us was religious. And the stork would be kind enough to deliver an infant...
JohanR
Posted on: 24 June 2004 by Paul Ranson
Are christening and baptising the same thing?
I think it's wrong to admit an infant into a religion, but it's OK to give it a name.
But we did the naming bit when we did the mandatory registration of birth bit, so I don't see any need for ceremony. Do Christians have to name their children 'TBA' and then fix it up later after the church bit?
Paul
I think it's wrong to admit an infant into a religion, but it's OK to give it a name.
But we did the naming bit when we did the mandatory registration of birth bit, so I don't see any need for ceremony. Do Christians have to name their children 'TBA' and then fix it up later after the church bit?
Paul
Posted on: 24 June 2004 by Berlin Fritz
Early communion wine gave me the taste for the stuff !
Fritz Von Claret&holygripewaterwunnit
Fritz Von Claret&holygripewaterwunnit
Posted on: 24 June 2004 by Bubblechild
A priest I know defines 'sin' as thoughts or actions that create divisions. Similarly, he defines 'God' or 'goodness' or 'love' as anything that binds people together.
I like these definitions, and in general I'm in favour of ceremonies and formal occasions like Christenings or weddings, because they encourage this binding together.
Personally, I think exploring a spiritual path can be extremely valuable. I don't think it particularly matters whether it's a Christian path, or Buddhist, Muslim, pagan or whatever. But I think one can gain more by taking a long journey down one path than by taking short journeys down several paths - or not taking a journey in the first place.
For those parents that are interested in their child's spiritual development (as well as their own), and want to place it in a Christian context, a baptism can be a meaningful step along the path.
Those that have no interest in that side of things are still taking part in a ceremony involving a public declaration of respect and love for the child and a public declaration of solidarity between the parents, Godparents, and wider congregation.
By my friend the priest's definition, that's a fairly loving and good thing to do.
I like these definitions, and in general I'm in favour of ceremonies and formal occasions like Christenings or weddings, because they encourage this binding together.
Personally, I think exploring a spiritual path can be extremely valuable. I don't think it particularly matters whether it's a Christian path, or Buddhist, Muslim, pagan or whatever. But I think one can gain more by taking a long journey down one path than by taking short journeys down several paths - or not taking a journey in the first place.
For those parents that are interested in their child's spiritual development (as well as their own), and want to place it in a Christian context, a baptism can be a meaningful step along the path.
Those that have no interest in that side of things are still taking part in a ceremony involving a public declaration of respect and love for the child and a public declaration of solidarity between the parents, Godparents, and wider congregation.
By my friend the priest's definition, that's a fairly loving and good thing to do.
Posted on: 24 June 2004 by Fisbey
I too like the sound of a loving God, However I feel some religions may put forward the suggestion of a punitive God, which I don't much like the sound of...
Just wait 'til your father gets home springs to mind.....
Just wait 'til your father gets home springs to mind.....