Showering
Posted by: cunningplan on 03 December 2004
Showering:
1. How to shower like a woman:
Take off clothing and place them in sectional laundry basket according to whites and colours.
Walk to the bathroom wearing long dressing gown If you see husband/partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror!
Make mental note to do more sit ups.
Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, and wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo wit 43 added vitamins. Wash hair again to make sure it is clean. Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub, for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and Jaffa cake body wash.
Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Exit Mould.
Get out of shower Dry with towel the size of a small African Country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Check entire body for spots, tweeze hairs. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband/partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
2. How to shower like a man:
Take off all clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife/partner along the way, shake knob at her while making woo-hoo sounds. Look at manly physique in the mirror.
Admire size of your knob and scratch your ass.
Get in shower. Wash your face.
Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Make huge fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
Aim nozzle at knob and enjoy tickly feeling as the water hits it.
Wash your butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.
Shampoo hair.
Make shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor.
Admire size of knob in mirror again. Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife/partner, pull off towel, shake knob and make woo-hoo noise again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
1. How to shower like a woman:
Take off clothing and place them in sectional laundry basket according to whites and colours.
Walk to the bathroom wearing long dressing gown If you see husband/partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror!
Make mental note to do more sit ups.
Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, and wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo wit 43 added vitamins. Wash hair again to make sure it is clean. Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub, for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and Jaffa cake body wash.
Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Exit Mould.
Get out of shower Dry with towel the size of a small African Country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Check entire body for spots, tweeze hairs. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband/partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
2. How to shower like a man:
Take off all clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife/partner along the way, shake knob at her while making woo-hoo sounds. Look at manly physique in the mirror.
Admire size of your knob and scratch your ass.
Get in shower. Wash your face.
Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Make huge fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
Aim nozzle at knob and enjoy tickly feeling as the water hits it.
Wash your butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.
Shampoo hair.
Make shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor.
Admire size of knob in mirror again. Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife/partner, pull off towel, shake knob and make woo-hoo noise again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
Nice one - cheered me up that did!
Does anyone remember when showering was a shared erotic experience between two young lovers? 
No, I can't either.
Nime
No, I can't either.
Nime